Learn You Inside Out
by wolfpgirl
Summary: BxE All Human. She is a college student and reluctant dancer, trying to move on. He is a rebel, a new quarterback with a troubled past. Two unlikely people are brought together, but trials of the present and the darkness of their past may tear them apart
1. Chapter 1

Learn You Inside Out

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Twilight still, but I own my ideas so YAY!**

**AN at the bottom.**

**Warning: Language alert…its rated M for that and other reasons.**

Chapter 1

"So, tell me what makes _you_ qualified to be on the University of Washington's campus, let alone my football team?"

I clenched my hands onto the wooden arms of the chair I was slouched in, barely keeping myself from getting up and walking right back out that door with my middle finger shot in the air. The elderly man seated behind a cluttered desk stared me down and I returned his look. We both knew I was one wrong eye-twitch away from losing out on my last best chance. I needed him, I needed this football team and this college. I needed this new city and this new start.

But here is the kicker…that fat motherfucker behind the desk needed me just as much as I needed him. It was the only reason I was sitting in this office right now.

I managed to keep my insulting comments to myself…barely. I was just waiting for him to give in…they always did. Parents, teachers, coaches….they all caved eventually if you glared at them long enough. This old buzzard just hadn't realized the extent of my determination.

Needless to say, I was shocked as shit to find myself being the reason the coach of the UW Huskies was laughing his ass off. My eyes narrowed in anger as he clutched his gut and leaned back in his chair, the squeaky springs protesting loudly. My fingers dug tighter into the wood and I felt my leg twitch in irritation. Finally he calmed down enough to wipe the tears from eyes and grinned at me. I gave him the full force of my glare, clearly stating my displeasure. _Fuck off Fatty._

"Does that stank-eyed look work on everyone?" He chortled at me. I turned my eyes to the trophy case on the wall behind him. I couldn't read the engravings from here, and they all looked well-taken care of, but the whole sports world knew that those trophies were from many years ago. The Huskies hadn't won so much as a free soda from McDonalds in more years than I care to think about. It physically hurt me to enter this office in hopes that I will walk out wearing a Husky jersey.

My attention was brought back to the amused coach. He had opened a thick folder that had been centered in the chaos of his desk. I didn't need to look at the label to know it was my records.

And they weren't thick with all kinds of academic awards. There wasn't enough room for that with all the criminal records stacked in it.

"Let me tell you what makes you qualified. We need a quarterback." He stated this simply and resolutely. There was no sugar-coating and no working around it nicely. I snorted at his statement of the obvious and he smirked at me. "Yeah, there is no big secret about that, son. Now what we have here is a thing I like to call a symbiotic relationship."

I waited for him to continue in his southern drawl, clenching my jaw at his patronizing tone and hoping to God he didn't call me "son" again. He leaned forward in his chair, folding his large hands over my file. "You and I both know that this is your one shot to get back in the game. It took a little bit of convincing and a lot of my aged Scotch to convince the Dean to let you even set foot in this office today.

"Here is how I see it: you want to be a football player and I want to see my boys through a winning season before I retire. In order to get what we both want, you are going to be on a short leash."

"How short?" I bit out. My voice sounded strange in the quiet room after listening to him for so long. To give the old man credit, he didn't even flinch at my tone. "You will get to play football and get your athletic scholarship, but you are going to be second string until I say otherwise."

I shot up out of my seat then, afraid if I didn't I would leave marks on the arms of it. I paced the small office, _extremely _pissed off. I let some curses fly out as I waited for the red haze of anger to leave my vision. The voice of Coach Meyers cut through the office. "Look here Cullen, I may need a quarterback, but what I _don't_ need is to bring a huge embarrassment to this athletic department. You can be sure if you screw up again, I am not going down without bringing you with me." It was the first time I have heard him speak harshly, and it made me pause long enough in my pissed off ranting to focus on him. The coach pointed to my vacated chair. "Now, either sit the hell down and listen to the terms or walk out the door and quit wasting my damn time!"

I thought about walking out the door. I even took a step towards it. _Fuck it_. I was ready to leave. Before I could take another step, I thought about what my life would be like once I slammed that door. My grades weren't anywhere close to get me back into a decent college. No one else would let me on their team after I had been expelled from my previous university. And I had no work experience…all my life had been spent preparing for college. Endless football practices filled my memory, and it would have all been a waste. I held onto the memory of the last touchdown pass I threw and had the crowd on their feet, cheering and chanting my name. That memory made me plant one foot in front of the other back to the chair I had previously occupied. I sat in it again, this time leaning forward to rest my elbows on my thighs. I raked a hand through my hair and waited for coach to continue.

I was surprised to see a small smirk back on his round face. "Alright then. Here are the terms. No big surprise, but your grades will have to be brought up and kept up. I mean _really_ up." I lifted my eyebrows at him.

"Think 'dean's list' kind of up," he answered my silent question.

I huffed out a breath and rolled my eyes. Perfect.

"You will have to submit to random drug tests. If you pop for any kind of illegal substances or if you refuse a drug test, that's an automatic dismissal from the team. That goes for anyone in the athletic department. If you are caught drinking underage or driving under the influence when you _do_ become of age, you are out of here."

My hand moved wearily over my face, feeling the scruff stubble that needed to be shaved off days ago. I wasn't surprised at the list of demands so far. Hell, I expected at least this much.

"Any questionable behavior either on or off the field can send you packing, Cullen. That brings me to your housing situation. Now, from what the Dean tells me you are no longer well funded enough to live in a private apartment?"

"You could say that." What an understatement. My rich-as-shit parents cut me off the day I got slapped in handcuffs. I was at the mercy of my savings account and scholarship funding.

"Well after discussing it with the head-honcho, I have two choices for you. One, you live in a dorm room. You will have a private room, but you will be subject to random room searches and Dorm Advisor meetings. Basically, you will be under constant staff surveillance."

"Fuck no." I laid it out to him in a dead-pan voice. There was no way in hell I am living under a microscope.

He didn't even blink at my profanity. "I had a feeling you would say something like that. Your other option is to live off campus in a co-ed house with four of your peers. You will have your own room and the scholarship covers the basic costs of living in these types of houses. The catch is you will be watched there as well, but it will be by a teammate. Now, this kid is a good egg, but he got himself in a sticky situation. His place on the team is resting on how well he reports to me. You will be expected to assist around the house with chores and what-not as needed and be the model housemate for these kids. Your teammate will have full access to your room as well, so either way you are going to have to watch yourself closely."

I tossed his proposal around. The dorm idea was my version of hell, so that was not an option. Living in a co-ed house off campus definitely sounded like the ideal solution, but the thought of having a teammate watch over me made my skin crawl. I knew how easy it was to have someone stab you in the back and lay you under a bus. Either way I was going to be hovered and watched like a hawk. I didn't like either one of those choices, but I selected the lesser of two evils.

"I'll take the house."

The coach grinned. "I thought you might. You stick with these rules and we will have one hell of a season. Now, get your butt down to the practice field. The assistant coaches are down there with the boys already. Emmett McCarty will be one of your housemates and he will show you around the facility."

I nodded and stood, my entire body aching from the tension. I was itching to get out on the field again. My muscles hummed in anticipation. I grabbed the door knob but a grunt from the coach stopped me. When I turned back to him he threw a purple and white jersey at me. I held it up and read the back. Above the number seventeen was my name patch.

**E. Cullen**

I looked at the coach again to see him smirking. "I gave you a new number, figured it would go good with your fresh start here." His face turned serious once more. "Don't screw this up, Cullen."

My anger over the entire situation was still humming through me, so I simply nodded instead of speaking and pushed the door open roughly. I let out a curse as the door slammed into something and bounced back to hit my head. I peered around the door to see a short brunette sitting on the floor where she obviously fell. She was looking up at me in shock and holding her hand over her hip. I took a moment to appreciate her attributes: long brown hair pulled back from her face, large matching brown eyes, pale skin, decent rack. It was easy to see she was small but toned due to the lack of cloth covering her body. She was wearing some sort of blue sports bra and matching spandex pants. Nice.

All positive thoughts of her flew out of my head when I saw the purple and silver pom poms spilling out of her bag. A cheerleader….fucking great. Not many other things annoyed me more than giggling, air-brained, bouncy blow-up dolls. I learned real quick from the last college I attended that they were nothing but perks for the athletic team, and once their welcome wore out they were useless. My eyes narrowed down at her. "Try not to walk next to closed _fucking_ doors." I spit out the profanity, watching her face blanch in surprise. I didn't wait for her poor little mind to try to come up with a response. I took a giant step over her prone form and started walking to the double doors leading out of the building. A small voice teemed in indignation called out behind me. "Maybe _you_ should try getting a life, creep!" I ignored her outburst, my mind was already on the field, and I followed the stadium lights shining brightly in the night air.

_**B**_

I sat on the floor, waiting for my heart rate to return to normal and my face to quit flaming. I was furious! How dare that arrogant bastard just step over me and stomp out of the building after slamming a door into me! Granted, I probably shouldn't have been walking so close to the office doors and I definitely should have been paying more attention to the area in front of me. I was always looking down at my feet, a habit I developed when I was little and had carried with me all of my twenty years. Unfortunately, checking to make sure my feet were okay all the time usually left my other body parts open for danger.

So maybe the door was not totally his fault. He did slam it open, but I practically walked into it anyways. Now I am sitting open-mouthed on the cold tile floor, holding a hand over what I am sure will be one ugly bruise on my hip. The guy who practically stormed through the double doors was not familiar, but obviously had some sort of affiliation with one of the athletic teams. Why else would he be coming out of Coach Meyer's office? Not to mention he undoubtedly had the body made for sports. In the brief moment I spent gawking at him from my floor view, I couldn't help but appreciate the fact he was easy on the eyes. If I wasn't so angry at him, I would have thought his rumpled, to-hell-with-the-world, scruffy-faced look absolutely endearing. As it was, I hoped I never had to encounter any part of that miserable excuse for a human again.

The door to the coach's office opened again, but this time slower and no where near hitting me. Coach Meyer glanced out and then moved his gaze to me, still on the floor. "Isabella Swan? Now what in the heck are you doing on the floor girl?" He reached a large hand out and I gratefully accepted. When I was on my feet I thanked him and blushed further at another person catching me on my rear. "Sorry coach, I kind of got knocked down and needed to wallow in my embarrassment for a second." I gave him a bashful smile and he chuckled at me. I always loved hearing him laugh, it was what I imagined my grandfather's laugh would sound like, if I had one.

"Well according to that clock you are running a little late for practice, so you better get going." I checked the clock he was referring to and swore under my breath. I waved back at his amused expression as I carefully jogged down the corridor. The steady thumping of music reached my ears long before I got to the door of the warm-up room. I pushed opened the door and the music escalated in volume, but not so much that it was unbearable. I saw that everyone had already started, dressed in the similar outfits to me and sitting on the wooden floor facing a mirror. All heads came up from their stretch to look at me. I gave them all an apologetic smile and threw my bag down before rushing over to join them. Not long after I joined the stretching routine I heard a loud clap and a musical voice call over the noise of the stereo. Our small, dark-haired leader stood smiling in front of us. "Alright ladies! We are going to start from the beginning today since some of you are new to the team this year. We already have our routine worked out for the first few games of the season, but we still need some fine tuning so those of you who are veterans, stick with the rest of us. We can all use the practice."

The music took over the room again and I stood as the girl approached me. I smiled at Alice, already rolling my eyes at the reaction she will have when I told her why I was late. "Bella! What was the holdup?" Alice was a regimented leader of the Husky dance team, but she also happened to be one of my best friends, so I didn't take her chastisement to heart. She scanned over my ensemble quickly and nodded approvingly. She _should_ approve, she laid the outfit out for me before we left our house this morning. I was more of a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, but when that little pixie got a hold of me, there was no arguing.

I waited for my other best friend and roommate to approach us before I launched into my rant. Rosalie Hale was the essence of perfection. All guys (and some girls) wanted her and all girls definitely wanted to _be_ her. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a functional ponytail, but I knew once practice started it would be out and flowing down her shoulders. Alice insisted that the last few practices before the game we have our hair down, like we would during the actual performance. That also explains the utterly naked feeling I had walking around in a sports bra. Our dance uniforms had just about as much material as my current outfit did, and we all had to make sure that nothing popped out that shouldn't pop out when we did our elaborate moves.

When both of my friends stood with me I told them of my encounter in the hallway. As expected, Rosalie clenched her hands into fists and her blue yes flashed with anger. "Who the hell does he think he is? The least he could have done was apologize and help you up!" Alice didn't look too pleased either, but she had a speculative look on her face as well, as if her mind was only partially focused on our conversation. I learned not to question that look over the years and to just go with it.

Rosalie continued to fume. "You just point him out! I will….I will…"

I smirked at her, "You will what? Beat him up?"

Alice and I waited for her to calm down. Rosalie had been in trouble a lot as a kid for getting into fights…and winning them. Since college, she has worked hard to control her anger and turn it into more productive outlets, like dancing and working on cars. So far, her record has been clean. Rosalie closed her eyes and let out a breath. "No, I won't beat him up." Her eyes opened and a saucy smile flitted on her lips. "But Emmett will."

I shook my head and laughed at that. I had no doubt in my mind that my surrogate big brother, Rosalie's long-term boyfriend, would take great pleasure in throttling whoever dared mess with me. However, Emmett was being watched very carefully and the last thing he needed was to lose his place on the team over some jerk.

"Its okay guys, thanks, but I will just ignore him if I ever see him again. I am sure someone of his nature would find lack of attention more unbearable than a smack-down."

Alice nodded sagely, "Sure, sure. But this means that I will have to break out the big guns on makeup if that bruise isn't gone by the game." I looked down to the hip she was pointing a perfectly manicured nail at and groaned. It was already blooming with lovely purple and black colors. Wonderful.

Alice should just buy stock in the makeup company she uses…she is frequently using up all of our supplies to cover up my many bruises. Rosalie just rolled her eyes at me before dragging me over to the rest of the group lining up for the first routine. "I will never understand how you are so damn graceful when you dance, but so damn clumsy when it comes to something simple like walking."

I didn't argue with her, or even pretend to take offense to it. I had come to terms with my bizarre way of life a long time ago. For some reason the only time I was able to not be a walking disaster was when I was dancing. As long as I was lost in movements, I was able to be graceful enough to stay on the university's dance team…as long as I could stay out of the emergency room. My female house-mates and I all needed the scholarship money from being on the dance team.

Rosalie and Alice were the only family I had, and I had convinced myself that they were the only family I could ever want. I had lived with Alice since I was twelve and Rosalie was at our house so often she practically lived there too. They were my sisters in every way that counted. Emmett and Rosalie started dating in high school and we all knew it was just a matter of time before they finally tied the knot. Emmett was the only man I truly trusted and he was the best surrogate big brother I could ever ask for.

I stood in the line of dancers, there was a dozen of us in total. We were not cheerleaders, but we definitely drew a bigger cheering section at all the games. National dance competitions were not far from our mind, but right now we were concentrating on getting ready for the football season. Dancing was calming for me and I have been told that I am very good at it, but the UW Husky's dance team is as far as I care to take my dancing career. I was on the team in high school and that lead to my scholarship here in college. I was not a dance major, much to my peer's dismay. Instead I was majoring in English and wanted the peaceful solitude of a career as a writer.

Only my good friends knew why I danced but why I couldn't make a future from it. Rose and Alice were great at keeping me as comfortable as possible while on the team and since Alice was a Design major, she was the one who created all of our dance costumes. She absolutely refused to "skank out" like our cheerleader counterparts tended to do with their barely-there uniforms. Thanks to that, there were very little times that I had to wear revealing outfits. It was bad enough I had to dance in front of very large crowds. We usually wore pants with all of our costumes and the only time I put up a fight was when we wore our halter tops that revealed a lot more of my stomach and cleavage than I liked, but I always caved. It was the least I could do after all they had done for me.

The music started over and we dove right into the routine for the first game. I bounced back on my heels and swung my arms out, letting my hair fly about my face and slowly fell into my comfort zone and forgetting the stranger with the haunting green eyes.

_**E**_

The lights on the field illuminated the turf like it was the middle of the day, and not actually twilight. I took a moment to breathe in the scent of the grass and the sound of bodies clashing together. The cool fall air blew through my hair and whipped my t-shirt around my body. Now _this_ was my heaven.

My anger simmered down to a manageable level. I knew I overreacted in the coach's office. I deserved far worse than the house arrest he has sentenced me to. I knew I was the luckiest bastard in the world to be given another chance to play again. I also knew I had a lot of work in front of me, both off and on the field. I needed to keep my grades up and my nose clean, but I also only got this chance because of my skills as a quarterback and I was useless without them.

The practice field was littered with equipment and players. By the looks of the sweat-stained jerseys, practice was almost over. I saw the freshmen quarterback practicing down field with a select few receivers. I rolled my eyes at his passes, the ball wobbling precariously in the short time it was in the air. If this is the guy I am supposed to be second string to, the team was screwed.

A whistle blew in the middle of a swarm of defensive players. A line of them had just pushed the sled impressively fast across the grass. My mood lifted slightly as I saw the defense work together. If the Husky's offense came together like their defense obviously was, then there just may be a chance of a winning season. The players bounced up and turned to the coach for their next exercise. I saw the defensive coach turn to one large player and then point in my direction. The dark-haired guy glanced over at me, then said something else to the coach before jogging away from the group. The rest of the defense continued their exercises as who I assumed to be my new jailer approached me. This guy was friggen huge! I was no short-fry myself…but _damn_. He had a wide smile on his face and an outstretched hand as he stepped up to me. I immediately became wary. People just aren't nice right off the bat usually, especially to me. I reached my hand out to clasp his, but didn't return the smile. It didn't seem to bother him. "You must be Eddie." His booming voice didn't make me wince, but the misuse of my name did. "Edward. I am guessing you are my nanny?"

He laughed at that. "Emmett McCarty. I don't plan on being your nanny or any shit like that, but I will lay it out for you straight." We started walking along the sidelines of the field and I felt all eyes on me. I saw the sour looks on the other player's faces as the "new guy" pissed on their property. I returned their stares with the meanest glare I could give them. If that's how they wanted to play it….

"Here's the deal dude. I am in a…shall we say…difficult position with the coach and staff right now. I had a little indiscretion recently and now my ass rests on keeping you in line long enough to get a decent season."

"What did you do?" I had to know. Maybe I wasn't the only messed up freak around here.

"I got caught with my pants down."

"What did you get caught doing?" I asked impatiently, not caring if I was being rude or not. Enough with the vague shit.

Emmett laughed again. "No…I _literally_ got caught with my pants down. My girlfriend and I tend to get carried away sometimes. She is on the dance team and man, the ways she can bend…" I waved him off to keep from getting more than I bargained for out of this conversation. "This time it was in the wrong place at the wrong time. On the coach's desk to be exact."

I choked out something that resembled laughter. I had forgotten how to actually laugh a long time ago, but the thought of the coach walking in on a campus porno in the making was entertaining as hell.

Emmett continued, "Oh that wasn't the worst part. We certainly didn't expect company, but we _really_ didn't expect the dean to have a meeting with coach that afternoon and get a front row seat. The guy wanted me off the team that second, but coach convinced him to let me stay on and he would make sure I stayed in line."

"And your girlfriend?"

"Her best friend is the captain of the dance team, so all she had to do was buy the girls a round at the bar."

That's life for you.

We continued to tour the practice area. I wouldn't be seeing the stadium until tomorrow night's practice. The game was this Saturday and I would be spending it on the bench. The worst feeling in the world is getting ready for a game and not being able to play a single second of it. I didn't care if I was going to hell or not…I wished the starting quarterback would fall off a fucking bridge by Saturday.

Emmett rambled on about who to watch out for on the team and who didn't care about my personality as long as I could throw a ball. After he cleaned up in the locker room and I found my new locker we started for the parking lot. "We don't live far from campus. Did you drive here?" I nodded to him and pointed at my silver Volvo sitting under a bright streetlight. Emmett whistled appreciatively. "Nice." I shrugged. It was the only thing of value I still owned. The title had been in my name from day one, so there wasn't too much of a stink about taking it with me when my parents kicked me out. Everything I owned was piled in the backseat.

I drove Emmett to our new house. I knew I could easily walk to the practice field from the house, which made my life a lot easier. I stood in the driveway for a second, taking in the large two-story structure that would be my home for the foreseeable future. It was painted the ugliest shade of…pink? Beige? It was hard to tell in the dim light of the front porch, but the blue shutters clashed with whatever color it was. I must have winced because Emmett sighed. "Yeah, it ain't much to look at, but rent is cheap and the inside is cool and it's got a huge deck in the back." I didn't even try to keep positive. I could give a shit less if Martha friggen Stewart was in the kitchen baking cookies and half-naked chicks were tapping a keg in the bathroom…the place was still depressing to me.

I jerked my bags out of the trunk and Emmett silently grabbed a few boxes from my backseat. He pushed open a side door that led into the brightly lit kitchen. I was surprised to see it pretty much immaculate. It was a far cry from the hazardous waste area of my last dwelling. Of course, it probably helps if your roommates aren't potheads. The living room was huge and, to my man-delight, was decked out in the latest and greatest of entertainment electronics. A flat-screened TV took up most of the area above the fireplace and I saw speakers placed strategically around the room, especially around the large sectional couch. Video gaming systems were stacked up on one shelf next to the fireplace and a large collection of movies took up the other shelf. There was another futon couch pushed up against the wall near the French doors and what looked like a dog crate propped up next to it.

I narrowed my eyes at that.

"No one cared to mention pets."

Did this guy ever _not_ smile? "Yeah, there is one dog here. Is that a problem? You allergic or something?"

"No, not allergic. Me and pets just don't mix."

"Aww don't worry. You will like this one. Just don't be surprised if it takes him a while to warm up to you. And I wouldn't try to pet him or anything until he does."

I didn't know if he was kidding or not, but he didn't have to worry about me touching the damn thing.

Emmett pushed open the French doors. "And here we have my second favorite spot in the house." The deck _was_ huge, he was right about that. Matching patio furniture was placed along the deck and in the corner a glass table-top bar sported a large blue umbrella. Tiki torches were at every corner and from what I could tell in the dim light, the back yard was a decent size. I nodded, impressed despite of myself.

"Dude, I am glad that you are moving in because we are in serious lack of testosterone around here." He shut the doors to the porch and we moved to a closed door off to the side of the living room, next to the stairs. "Even after the last guy moved out, the living room was still considered the 'Man Room'. It got harder to keep it that way when I was greatly outnumbered, but the girls have their own room to keep them happy." He pushed open the door and flipped on the light. This room was easily as large as the living room it was parallel to, but the lack of furniture made it seem bigger. There were full-length mirrors along one wall and a stack of work out mats piled up on the other. A decent stereo rested on the one shelf in the room and the only decorations in the room were various pictures framed along the otherwise empty walls. I didn't care enough to look too closely at the pictures.

"This is a good warm-up room if you need to stretch out or whatever, but if they are in here working then you better not even knock unless it's an emergency." He had a note of tension in his voice, and I almost laughed thinking about three girls scary him out of their domain. "So all of them are on the dance team?"

"Alice is the captain, she is the hyper one. If you fix coffee in this house you better go with decaf…or hide it. Trust me. My girlfriend, Rosalie, is the co-captain. She's got a bit of a temper," he winced while he was making that comment, "but just stay out of the garage and you should be fine." Before I got a chance to ask him to elaborate on that, we were moving up the stairs. "Bella is….well she is the best of all of us. She is quiet and keeps to herself a lot of times." I was half-listening to him until he stopped in the hallway and abruptly turned to face me. His expression was dark and I unconsciously tensed up in reaction. "Look man, I will stay out of your shit as much as possible. But there is one thing you need to understand clearly. If you mess with any of my girls, you are done…and I don't mean just done with the team." I almost rolled my eyes, but something told me that would have earned me a meeting with his very large fists. One of those fists came up to point a finger at me. "But that goes double for Bella. You just need to keep away from her as much as you can. If you upset her in any way, you will have this whole household rain down on you. Bottom line: _Don't. Fuck. With. Bella._"

I started getting a little fucking defensive at this point. I dropped my bags down and pulled myself up to my full height. "I may not have the best damn reputation on the planet, but I don't _'mess'_ with girls…unless they request it. So I would appreciate it if you would back the fuck up off me because you don't even _know_ me."

Emmett shrugged. "You're right, I don't know you. I don't really give a damn about your past. As far as I am concerned your life started when you took that jersey." He pointed to the shirt laying over my shoulder. "I am giving you the same warning as I would any other guy moving into this house. I don't care if you are a saint, you will still stay away from Bella. If _she_ wants to hang out with you, by all means….have fun! But she is not the kind of girl you can be careless with, so just watch yourself."

He reached out and slapped me heartily on the back and I barely managed not to flinch in surprise. His large smile returned. "Now, enough with the serious shit. Let's move onto the rooms."

Emmett pointed out his and Rosalie's room, Alice's room and Bella's room. I glared at that last closed door when I heard a faint growl come from under it. The last room was mine, but I had to share a bathroom with the two single girls apparently. That ought to be interesting. The room was a decent size and already furnished, surprisingly. "What happened to the last guy?" I wasn't about to stay in a room if there was some sort of murder or some shit in there.

"He was technically a basketball player, but he basically was a glorified bench warmer. He dated Alice for a while, but he got busted getting busy in the back of the team bus with a cheerleader, and Alice went a little nuts on his stuff. We helped her burn his clothes and stuff in the yard while he watched, but we convinced her to leave the furniture. I convinced _him_ that it was in his best interest that he sit there and watch his shit burn like a man, then leave before the fire got, shall we say…out of control."

I chuckled lightly at his story, just imagining Emmett keeping a solid hand on a trembling little pipsqueak as he cried over the pile of ashes that used to be his belongings. I took that as a further warning. _Don't. Fuck. With. The. Girls._

Thankfully, Emmett left me to unpack, saying something about getting quality Xbox time before the girls got home. Most of my boxes were full of cd's and they pretty much took up a whole bookcase against the wall. I glanced at my alarm clock when I was basically finished unpacking and pulled out my cell phone. After two rings a familiar voice picked up. "Hey man! How's the new dungeon?"

"Jazz…I need a drink."

_**B**_

Rose, Alice and I trudged up the few steps into our kitchen. It was fairly late, but Alice is nothing if not determined. The team couldn't leave until we had the routine perfect. We had one more practice tomorrow night before the game, and we will be practicing at the stadium.

"Alice, are we wearing our costumes tomorrow night?" I asked hesitantly.

The pixie-like dancer twirled to the refrigerator and took out three bottles of water and tossed them to us. I don't know what she was thinking. The bottle glanced off my fingers and rolled across the floor. Alice sighed while Rose snickered and skipped out to greet Emmett in the living room. The sounds of some sort of war game carried through the entire house. _Boys and their toys._ Alice picked my water bottle up then gently handed it to me. "Yes, we are wearing our costumes Bella. You know that our last practice is always full costume."

I groaned and she patted me on the head. "I can't wait until the day you see yourself for the beautiful, sexy woman you are." She and I headed for the living room as she continued talking. "Now, the only thing you should be worrying about is not getting that costume dirty or torn before the game. You should take it with you and get dressed right before we hit the field."

"Remind me to get it from your closet tonight. I am going to the library early tomorrow morning and won't have enough time before practice to come back."

Alice gave me a thumbs up and then we pounced onto the fluffy couch next to Rosalie and Emmett, who were currently ignoring the game in favor of a make-out session. I should be used to this by now, but it still made me squirm. Rose broke away from Emmett suddenly and turned to us, leaving poor Emmett dazed looking…lips still puckered.

"Oh! We totally forgot what day it was!" Alice and I looked at each other for some sort of clue as to what she was talking about. Rose jerked her thumb towards her boyfriend. "Emmett brought home our new house-mate."

Oh. Alice and I both blinked, surprised such a thing slipped by us. Alice had been excited about someone new taking over the old room that belonged to "he who shall not be named". I was nervous. I didn't like the idea of having a total _male _stranger in our house, but everyone assured me that one wrong move and he was out. Emmett was supposed to report on this guy pretty much daily to Coach Meyer, so we were all fairly certain he would stay in line. I had been given a brief history of Edward Cullen, but there was probably no athlete in the United States that hadn't heard the stories about him.

Everyone obviously already made their mind up on him. I admit I was having a hard time keeping an open mind myself. Supposedly, he was the star quarterback of the University of Maryland for two years before he took a nose dive. There was a press conference before the second season was even over, confirming that Edward had been arrested for driving under the influence and being in possession of narcotics. That made me not like him right off the bat. My mother had been killed by a drunk driver. I still didn't quite understand how he could be let back into _any_ university.

Alice bounced up and down in her seat. "Is he here? How did he seem? Was he hot?"

Emmett groaned and tried to get back into his video game. "No, he's not here. He seemed okay…a little too quiet and broody. And Alice, you can't ask a guy if another guy is hot. It's just not right."

Rosalie stroked his arm. "Aww come on baby! You know I can always tell you when I think another girl looks hot."

"Hell yeah baby! You know how much I love that…but it's different with guys."

Alice sighed and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the stairs as Emmett and Rose continued to discuss their differences. After retrieving my costume from her closet, I said a weary goodnight and moved to my room. I shut the door and then, after a moment of deliberation, locked it for good measure. I tried to stay as quiet as possible for fear of waking Jake. I smiled to see him stretched out on the bed, snoring softly. I moved to my desk and flicked on my lamp and computer, only stumbling once in the dark over a small stack of novels. My room was filled with books, books…and more books. I had almost one whole wall completely covered in bookshelves. One small section of the shelves contained my own writings…ones I had no intention of anyone else seeing anytime soon.

I smiled at my desktop background. It was of Alice, Rose and I when we were around fifteen. We were dressed in an early creation of Alice's. The tops were bright pink and the bottoms a shiny silver. We all had big grins as we posed with our arms around each other. It was one of my favorite pictures. The only other picture in my room was a small one near my bed. It was the only thing I was able to take with me to my new life. My mom and I were hugging each other tight, my eyes squeezed shut in delight as she kissed my cheek. That picture had been with me so long I hardly ever cried anymore when I saw it. So many things had happened since the last time I saw her. I was usually able to hold onto the good memories and let go of the anger that almost consumed me.

I checked a few emails and logged off when nothing of importance popped up. After setting my alarm, I settled into my bed next to a warm Jake and just started to nod off when I heard the sound of an unfamiliar car pulling into the driveway. I almost got up to greet the newcomer, but I was already way too comfortable. I chose to go to sleep instead and made a mental note to make muffins for him in the morning. He may have a bad reputation, but people can change. At least, that was the hope I held onto for the last eight years.

**Well, what do you think? Are you interested?**

**Let me get something straight before someone gets all defensive.**

**This is just a fun story…I have very little in the way of facts to back this up because honestly, I am too lazy and I care more about the characters than the facts.**

**So I will forewarn you that I don't know much about dancing, cheerleading, The university of Washington or the university of Maryland…so don't get mad if I don't get something right!**

**Also, I have no prejudice against cheerleaders, blondes, etc…but I needed the drama somewhere so there you go. Also, if you are offended by drug use, alcohol, foul language or sex... you have been warned, this story will be chock full of it. **

**Okay, Edward is a total dick in this story, but you find out there is a reason for it later on. Also, you will find out why Bella's friends are overprotective of her. Edward and Bella will be meeting soon, but maybe not the next chapter. I am hoping that the chapters will be better and longer than my other ones in previous stories… and I would love to have a story that got over 1000 reviews! So to all my loyal readers out there, keep up the great support!**

**I know I have more to write but I forget what it was, and I want to post this ASAP so I will get back to it later.**

**Oh…one more thing. I will update this as much as possible but don't expect it to be as fast as my last stories…I am trying to do this one right! : )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay its time for you to show your appreciation for your favorite stories! The Eddie and Bellie Awards are accepting nominations for a few more days and then voting is in February. I already nominated a few (not telling you who, but if you read my AN's you can probably guess at least one of them). I will try to remember to post the link in my profile but here it is in FF version:**

**www (dot) thecatt (dot) net**

**This story will be a big change from what you are used to reading from me, but I will try to keep you interested. ****I need reviews!**** As I am writing this chapter I only have 11 reviews…and I am worried that the story is no good! : ( **

**Help a girl out please!**

**My husband is leaving in a few weeks so things will be crazy for a while, but I will update ASAP.**

**Check out my favorite stories list…I have too many to list on here but I HIGHLY recommend all of them…I am picky about which stories are my favorite.**

**Oh, and quick answer to a question…the dance teams sometimes have their own "pom poms" or whatever they are called. NCSU's team had their own and they were different from the cheerleaders'. Hope that clears some stuff up. (See my profile for pictures)**

****See my profile for links regarding this story (outfits, dance stuff, etc.)**

**Disclaimer: I obsess, but don't own.**

**Chapter 2**

_**E**_

I was pretty disgruntled about having to give Emmett my itinerary for the evening, and I think it showed. Although, my companion should be more than used to my sour disposition by now. He has known me pretty much my entire life.

Despite my unshakable shitty attitude, I couldn't help but grin as I saw him sitting in a corner booth of one of the local bars next to campus. "Jasper _fucking _Whitlock!" I boomed across the crowded room. His blonde head turned in my direction and, in true Jasper form, flipped me the bird.

I laughed for the first time in a long time. He stood and we did the man-greeting/slap on the back thing and then sat in on the worn upholstery. "Edward, you look just as shitty as you did the last time I saw you." He grinned like an idiot and I returned it, remembering the last time I saw him. It was last summer after my training camp back in Baltimore. Jasper and I had combined our resources to fly his scrawny ass out to the east coast so I could show him how to party. I think we were both still drunk for days after he left.

"Check a mirror lately, Whitlock?" I smirked back at him. A waitress sauntered up to our table at that point. I couldn't even tell you what color her hair was, but I cold definitely describe the pattern of freckles decorating her cleavage…the view was unavoidable. "Can I get you fella's a drink?" Her voice matched her tits….willing and ready. I couldn't help the lazy grin that spread across my face. Jazz ordered some sort of beer for him and a coke for me, seeing as I was distracted. He knew I was in the hot seat and couldn't afford to get caught drinking underage. My birthday was coming around the corner, and I knew he would be making up for lost drinking time then. When the saucy waitress smiled and sauntered away, I took a moment to appreciate the view.

Jasper's smart-ass laugh made me focus on the here and now and I just grinned and shrugged. He leaned back in his booth, throwing an arm casually across the seat. "Let's hear it."

I appreciated that the most about Jazz. He has a strict no-bullshit policy. It didn't matter what the problem was and how much I didn't want to talk about it, I still did. There was always something about him that just made people want to spill their guts, dumping their emotional baggage for a while. I called him Barbara Walters once… and he busted my nose.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I've got a goddamn babysitter, I am on the stand-by bench until my coach seems fucking fit to give me the damn ball, my team is full of shitty players and I have to share a bathroom with chicks."

Our drinks arrived while he was mulling those little gems over. I tapped my foot restlessly on the floor. "Well?" I finally barked out.

Jasper took a swig of his beer and shrugged. "You're pretty much fucked, my friend." I just glared at him. "That's it? That's all you tell me?"

He gave me a pointed look. "What did you expect? You and I both know that this is a hell of a lot more than you should be getting." I didn't even wince. That truth was evident. It doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. My suddenly enlightened friend perked up after a moment. "Wait, you live with chicks?" I shrugged at that. "Apparently this Emmett guy is shacked up with one of the dancers and they live in this house off campus with two of her friends or some shit."

"Are they hot?"

I laughed lightly, "I have no idea. I haven't met them yet. But hell Jazz…they are dancers…friggen cheerleaders…"

Jasper held up a finger at that, shaking his head slightly. "Let me clue you in to a little secret. In my three years here at UW, I have learned many things…"

I smirked at him and his fake holier-than-thou attitude. He was going to make a fucking perfect history professor one day. "Teach me, oh wise master."

He shot me a glare at the interruption. "As I was saying…you will come to learn that there is a _big_ difference between cheerleaders and dancers at this school." I snorted at him.

"Same damn thing."

He shook his head and smirked at me. "Don't tell them that. The teams pretty much hate each other. You'll see…watch them sometime. I think you are looking at the down side of your living arrangements. Think of the fucking possibilities!"

That I had to wince at. "Well, one is sleeping with my jailer, one is a vengeful, caffeine addicted freak and the other is apparently so damaged I am not allowed to even talk to her."

That shut him up. He took a long pull and finished off his beer. "In that case, I go back to my previous statement. You are fucked."

_Great. Thanks for the help_ _asshole_. I kept my comments to myself, but my sour mood was back with a vengeance. Jasper signaled for another round before getting serious again. I could tell he was hesitating with something…and I had a pretty good clue about what it was. "Ask me." I took a deep swallow of my drink as I waited.

"Why did you do it?"

I looked up him. _Cutting right to the chase. _"I was already done with that place, it was just a matter of time before I was booted out anyways."

"You could have made it work. You could have told the police the truth and you would be on probation or some shit…"

"No. I was already getting slapped with a DUI, why not tell them about the drugs and just finish that shit, right?" I heard the bitterness in my voice and my hands clenched around my cool glass.

"You talk to your parents yet?"

That glass was about two seconds from crushing beneath my grip. "I talked with Esme for a minute, told her that I was here. Carlisle…" I didn't need to finish. Jazz knew I hadn't talked to Carlisle since he told me to get the hell out of "his" house.

I loosened my hands on my drink and tried to sit back and relax a little. "Enough of this shit, tell me about Seattle." And again, in true Jasper fashion, he ignored my blatant change of subject and launched into a list of what-to-do's around Seattle.

_**B**_

My alarm jerked Jake and I out of our deep slumber. It was early, and I was too tired to even acknowledge Jake's presence behind me as we headed down the stairs. The coffee was set on a timer last night and I grabbed a mug-full before joining Jake on the back porch. I shivered under the chill and dampness of the morning, but I loved these first quiet moments of the day together. I felt bad for the lack of time I had been spending at him with him, but promised him a special evening together after my practice tonight.

Jake went back to the bedroom and was back to sleep before I could close the door. I envied his ease at slipping back to sleep and I fought the urge to fling open the door and jump back into those warm covers with him. I promised myself I would study for my exam this morning and I also had muffins to make.

An hour later I was dressed for the day, bag in hand and muffins on the table along with a note to our new house-mate. The house was still silent as I exited and gently shut the door. I tripped on the last step off the side porch and ran into the garbage can sitting next to the house. The loud crash along with the inevitable barking that came with it made me wince. Not a great start to the day. I righted the toppled can and _carefully_ started walking to campus.

_**E**_

I damn-near rolled off my bed when the dog started barking. I peeked at the clock next to my bed and groaned. _Too fucking early_. My opinion of this house was becoming increasingly negative and I haven't even been in it for twenty four hours yet. I was grateful Emmett wasn't waiting up to grill me when I got back, but I could tell from the squeaking of the floorboards that he was awake and probably taking note of my arrival time. Whatever. He can use the receipt with the hot chick's phone number on the back as evidence of my location last night for all I care.

The annoying barking stopped, but the damage was already done. The anger simmering below the surface made it difficult to sleep anymore, but that wasn't the only reason I was awake now. As I lay there with my arms thrown over my eyes, I picked up the most _fucking_ delicious smell. My stomach grumbled in response and I threw off my sheets, pulling on loose pajama pants and a t-shirt. After making a pit-stop in a surprisingly non-cluttered bathroom, I crept down the stairs. Someone had to be awake and cooking this morning, but the kitchen was empty when I walked in. A basket of giant blueberry muffins sat on the middle of the table on a white plate, and I started salivating. I wasn't a complete savage, however, and I realized that I couldn't just dive into someone else's breakfast. I couldn't just assume they were for everybody. I guess I needed to get some idea of what my boundaries were when I saw them next. As I started to pass the table to get a glass of water I paused. There was a small folded paper sitting next to the plate…and it had my name on it.

I picked up the note, knowing the writing was by one of the girls. At least I hoped it was, for Emmett's sake. No fun being a tough-guy with a sissy signature. I should know, my handwriting was the ass of every joke in high school. I opened the paper and read the short note.

_Edward,_

_Welcome to the house! I'm sorry I was not up to great you last night. Help yourself to some breakfast. I look forward to getting to know you soon._

_Bella_

My eyebrows raised at the message. This certainly didn't sound like the helpless, frightened girl Emmett painted her out to be. She obviously woke up early to make these muffins, which I was currently scarfing down as I was thinking, and expressed an interested in getting to know me. I automatically felt a suspicion creep up on me. I didn't look a gift horse, or gift muffin, in the mouth…but the genuine kindness of the note threw me off. People just weren't that nice, especially to me. I had no doubt she knew of my history, or at least of the history that the press decided to release, and yet she still wanted to get to know me? _Fucking strange._

I heard a noise behind me and stared blankly at the girl who stepped into the kitchen. She was short with dark hair sticking out all over the place. While it was early and_ I_ was definitely not fully awake, she looked like she had been up for hours. Her bright smile made me blink in confusion and I barely managed not to flinch when she danced over to stand right in front of me. She didn't say anything for several moments, just regarded me with a curious look, smile still in place. She must have liked whatever she saw, because she gave a satisfied nod. I managed to swallow the huge piece of muffin lodged in my throat and took a wild guess. "Bella?"

Her tinkling laugh echoed through the open kitchen. "Nope…Alice." She stuck out her small hand and I hesitantly shook it. I was having flashbacks from the story Emmett told me about her revenge rampage, and I intensively wanted to back away from her. She laughed at my nervousness. "Don't believe everything you hear about me. Some of it is exaggerated."

Right. The jury is still out on that one.

She skipped passed me and poured two cups of coffee, offering me one. I took it, hoping for her sake it was de-caf, and we sat at the table, munching on the awesome muffins. She finally broke the silence. "So, I am assuming you really haven't met anyone else in the house besides Emmett?" I shook my head. She gestured to the muffin plate. "Bella likes to cook, so when you see something sitting out like this then help yourself. She makes enough to feed an army." I tried to smile back at her, but I am sure it looked as weak as it felt. It didn't seem to discourage her though. "So, I pretty much know all about you…" I clenched my jaw and nodded as she kept babbling, "so here is the low-down on my and my girls."

Here we go again, another lecture.

"I am a design major and the captain of the dance team. Rose is majoring in mechanical engineering and is my co-captain. Bella is an English major and is also on the team. We all take our dancing kind of semi-seriously." I quirked one eyebrow in disbelief. This is a first…its usually all-or-nothing with these kinds of girls. She just shrugged, her sleepwear staying perfectly in place on her small shoulders. "We do well because we like to dance, but we are just on the team for the scholarships. As long as you don't confuse us with cheerleaders, we will get along fine." There was a serious edge in her voice and I was reminded of Jasper's warning last night. I nodded in agreement and she sat back a little in her chair. "Will you be at the practice tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah. I am required to attend all practices and games, but I won't be playing for a while." I tried not to let the pissed-off tone come out too much as I spoke. She wasn't deterred. "Good! You can meet Rose and Bella then. Rose is pretty hard-core, but she is sweet when you get to know her. Just don't mess with her stuff in the garage and she will leave you alone." What is with this girl and the garage?

"And Bella will absolutely love you! She has the biggest heart and you two will get along great. I just know it!" She seemed especially excited about this, and I didn't have enough malice towards her to burst her little bubble. I was _persona non grata_ as far as Emmett is concerned in my relation to Bella. Normally I would have told her to mind her own business and shoved on out of there, but there was something about Alice that made me shut my mouth and nod in agreement. Maybe there was some sort of crack in the muffins…this house seems to be chock full of the good-will-towards-Edward attitude, and it confused the shit out of me.

Alice laughed lightly and pushed away from the table. "I have to get ready for the day, but I will see you tonight. Oh…" she turned to me when she got into the doorway leading from the kitchen, "you may want to stay away from Jake until you get to know Bella better. He doesn't like for other men to hang around her too much." She was gone before I could ask a very important question.

_Who the fuck was Jake?_

_**B**_

I tugged on the halter-top and gave Alice a huge pout. It's not like I haven't worn this outfit before. In fact, it was the one we wore the most during the season. But every time I put it on it felt like I was naked. The top came down just a little on my ribs but left my stomach bare. There wasn't a whole lot of cleavage showing, but I think that was more because I didn't have a whole lot of cleavage to show, unlike Rosalie. Her top fit snugly and she took careful measures to ensure that nothing popped out while dancing. I asked her once why she didn't just have Alice adjust the top and she had grinned and me and said "Emmett." I didn't push her after that…no need to have that mental image.

Alice stood behind me and gave me an approving smile. "Looking hot Bella! The pants feel good?" I turned and checked my ass out, groaning to see that the black pants clung to every unforgiving curve on my body. Alice swatted my behind playfully and I yelped. "Don't go doubting yourself now Bella. You know you always get this way at the first practice." She was right. Our first practice was always the hardest for me. I had spent summer break dreading it. If I didn't need the scholarship so much I would have never agreed to join the team. I loved dancing, but not in front of crowds. It was only the football team we were performing for tonight, but it gave me a nerve-wracking preview at what the next night would be like in front of a filled stadium. Rose tugged on my arm and I was half-dragged to the locker-room doors. "Think about it, have you ever once messed up while dancing in front of all those people?"

"No, it's always the walking on and off the field that usually gets me." I have a bad habit of stumbling when I was entering and leaving the field, something that rarely escaped the crowd's attention. Neither of my friends contradicted me, knowing full well of my history. Alice tried distracting me again. "Well you will be able to meet Edward when we are done, and dancing is a sure-fire way to grab a man's attention."

"I am not wanting to grab his attention Alice, or any man's attention for that matter. Are we forgetting the Newton incident?"

"Jake did the right thing by warning you to stay away from him, and Mike healed just fine so let's move on. Besides, you may change your mind about wanting Edward's attention when you see how sexy he looks first thing in the morning."

I was distracted by that. "You saw him this morning?"

She nodded, a sneaky smile on her face. "He and I inhaled your muffins and talked a little…well…I talked and he sort of nodded and grunted mostly." Rosalie snorted at that. "Sounds like a winner."

Alice ignored her. "He really liked your thoughtful breakfast and I am positive that he will be thanking you for that later." I flushed in embarrassment. "I was just trying to be nice!"

"Bella, you are too nice for your own good sometimes. Its way past time you go after what _you_ want, and not worry about being "nice" to everyone." Rosalie's tone was gentle, but authoritative. Alice shot her a look that I couldn't decifer. "Rose, let her give him a chance…"

"He is a criminal!" she practically shouted as we walked towards the field entrance.

"He just had a hard time recently, and I believe he could change." Alice resolutely nodded. I threw up my hands and stopped them from bickering further. "Guys! This is a moot point. I am just trying to be nice to our new house-mate and that is all. If we all become friends, that's great. If not, then he probably won't be around long enough for me to care."

My friends didn't look at me, but thankfully just shrugged and walked ahead of me towards the field entrance. We waited in the shadows as the cheerleaders finished up and walked passed us. We didn't bother to hide our contempt for each other, each team glaring at the other. I leaned towards Alice. "Have you seen their routine yet?" I whispered. She nodded her head, smirking. "Let's just say they haven't improved since last season." Rosalie hissed at one particular girl, the team captain. Jessica Stanley smirked at her and I could tell Rosalie was very close to breaking her perfect record so we pushed her onto the field.

We stopped to lay our poms on the ground be the edge of the field. I ran into one of the metal benches and stumbled, bumping against my already bruised hip. I am sure my blush made my face a brilliant tomato red as I heard snickering from somewhere behind me. I knew that the football players were seated, waiting for us. I could heard them talking amongst each other, their words indecipherable. Every now and then a cat-call or whistle would sound out, but I tuned all that out. If I focused on individuals while dancing, I would falter…I knew it. When I danced I turned into my own little world and was not easily distracted. However, the walk to our spot on the wide open field seemed like miles away. I trotted up to the rest of the girls in line and turned to the stadium seats where the eager players waited. I stuck out one foot slightly in front of the other and pasted a smile on my face, not focusing on any one face. I heard Alice take a deep breath beside me and give an almost imperceptible nod to the media box, signaling the start of our song.

_**E**_

__Practice was boring as hell.

It pretty much matched the rest of my day…classes sucked as much here as they did in Maryland and I had a feeling that my grades were going to be bigger problem than I thought they would.

Coach stopped by the locker room long enough to introduce me to the team and inform me that I would be "observing" the practice routine tonight. I didn't even bother to put on my jersey and I ignored the glare of my teammates as I slammed my locker shut. Emmett clapped me on the shoulder. "Don't worry man, he is like this with every newbie."

I highly fucking doubt that.

We trudged out onto the field and I sat sprawled out on the stadium seats. I did my observing, but I wasn't happy about it. I ignored Coach Meyer as he sat down next to me. "How's the house?" I could hear the smile in his voice and I gritted my teeth together to keep from answering. I knew if I said anything at that point I would surely be kicked off them team, so I settled for a shrug. We sat into silence, watching the plays being run below us. I watched as the quarterback threw ball after ball, none of them actually hitting a receiver's hands. This was almost painful to watch, and apparently I wasn't the only one that felt the same way. I watched as Emmett tore off his helmet and threw it on the ground in frustration. One of the assistant coaches yelled at him and told him to take a seat. Coach Meyer sighed heavily. "I feel his pain." He gestured to the awkward looking quarterback. "Newton is one of the worst quarterbacks I have ever seen." I was surprised to hear him be that blunt, but wisely decided not to comment. He continued his one-sided conversation. "The sad part is that he was the best one I could get. You are probably wondering what in the hell you are doing sitting next to this old fart instead of warming up your arm." I snorted slightly, but otherwise didn't acknowledge him. "I would say it wasn't my idea to keep you on the bench, but that would be a load of garbage. It was my idea and I will tell you why."

My anger was increasing by the fucking second and I hoped he had one hell of an explanation because I was about to explode.

"You are one of the most talented quarterbacks in decades…you know it, I know it…hell, everyone knows it. But you took that for granted and threw it all away."

"You don't know a damn thing about me." I ground out.

"You would be surprised at how much I know. The idea right now is that you realize how bad you want this, and maybe you won't want to give it up to that jerk off." He pointed back to Newton, who had just thrown the ball for an interception…again.

I kept quiet as coach heaved himself up and left me alone. Thank God.

A whistle sounded and the team trotted off the field. I knew that practice couldn't be over yet, so I was confused when the team piled into the seats around me. Emmett stood at the rail and signaled me. "Cullen! Get your ass over here! You are going to love this!"

I sighed and made my way down the steps and stood next to him, my arms folded across my chest. There were a few guys standing at the rail too, eagerly looking towards the locker room entrance. I was about to question what the hell this was all about when the doors opened and the girls walked out on the field.

I had to admit, I _was_ loving it so far. What red-blooded male wouldn't? There were about twenty girls in total. The UW's cheerleading team wore the shortest skirts I had ever seen on any team. It was the first time I didn't have to wait for a flip or split to see the panties peaking from under the ruffles. What shocked me the most was that all of them looked absolutely baked…and I didn't mean high. Their skin was a bronzy-orange color and while I have seen other cheerleaders…_many _cheerleaders look the same way, it really stuck out in an area where everyone else was so damn pale. Most of them had the whole blonde-haired look to match and I turned to Emmett. "Not that I don't appreciate looking at mostly naked chicks, I have this thing where I fucking _hate_ cheerleaders."

Emmett winced. "Yeah, I can understand that. But the cheerleaders are just the intro…once they are done the real show starts." I turned to the field and tried to let my mind glaze over as they started their routine, but my brows shot up to my hairline as I watched them move. I heard Emmett groan. "This is just fucking embarrassing." I knew what he meant. I had never seen such blatant use of the human body in order to promote an athletic team. The girls started out with a few generic moves and then launched into this raunchy, sickening routine that made me want to go take a bath in bleach. I barely recognized the song playing as some new hip-hop song…something about hips swinging…and I became astounded that some of the guys on the team were actually cheering for them.

Emmett leaned closer to them. "Those guys are horny morons. They are the ones who had not yet had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with some of the upstanding cheerleaders." He winced at me then, "Just a friendly warning about the one in the middle. Jessica Stanley is the team captain…and she is one of those gifts that keep on giving…if you know what I mean." I did know what he meant and I felt my balls retreat into my body as we suffered through the show. "I have had less detailed dancing on my lap with money between my teeth." Emmett laughed at my comment and nodded in agreement. The girls were now crawling across the field on their hands and knees, licking their lips and giving us what I assumed were supposed to be sexy looks. "How in the hell are they allowed to do that in front of a stadium full of people?"

"Well for one, they draw in a surprising number of male viewers…not as many as the dance team of course but still enough to keep them on. And there is rumor of an …arrangement with the Dean."

I tried not to gag, but I wasn't really surprised at that revelation.

Finally, they were done and the team weakly clapped as they moved off the field. I honestly don't think half of them would have bothered except the assistant coaches glared at them to do so. Emmett shuddered, "Every damn time I see them I feel like I need a penicillin shot." I knew what he meant.

A moment later, Emmett pounded his hand on the rail and I looked at him in question. He was grinning ear to ear. "Oh man, this is the best part of my week!" He leaned over the rail a little to look for something. We he straightened he explained. "We aren't allowed to watch them at half time anymore. We get a little too…distracted. Coach lets us take a break in practice to watch them and they get to do a full-costume practice run before the game."

How distracting can they be? I shifted my gaze to the field entrance again as the first of the dancers walked out onto the field.

They were dressed much more modestly than the cheerleaders were, but somehow I wasn't too disappointed. They wore long, black track-style pants that fit snugly enough to make me happy. Their tops were made out of some sort of fantastic sparkling material that rode up high, showing toned abdomens and, in some instances, a decent amount of cleavage. They walked to the sidelines and set their poms down on the ground. Those items seemed familiar and I knew why a moment later when one of the dancers stumbled over the bench on the sidelines. My eyes widened slightly and I let out a snicker…and I wasn't the only one. _Un-fucking-believable_! They actually let that walking disaster on the dance team? This ought to be interesting.

I watched her long hair sway as she trotted over to the other dancers on the field. I hadn't noticed yesterday as she sat on the floor how long her hair really was. It fell down in waves to the middle of her back and she pushed it behind her ear as she turned to stand in line. I recognized the small girl she stood next to as Alice, but my gaze was strangely attached to the girl next to her. She was taller than Alice, but several inches short than the knockout blonde next to her. Her face was pale and had little in the way of make-up. None of the dancers wore a lot of makeup, unlike the cheerleaders. None of them appeared to have any fake-tanning fetish either, and that made my opinion of them elevate immensely.

The girl had a large smile on her face, but seemed to not be looking at anything in particular. Her smile seemed forced, and I wondered if she was in pain from running into the bench. I looked down her body and winced at the dark bruise on her hip. I remembered her holding that hip when she was sitting on the floor. I felt a pang of guilt, but pushed it away when I remember her smart comment as I left the building. I tried to tear my gaze away as they posed, waiting for the music.

The sound of drums rolled through the speakers and after a moment they began. I recognized the song immediately and was surprised at the choice. Usually dance teams picked some sort of sexy stripper song to gyrate to, but this was a pleasant change.

_Fall Out Boy "I Don't Care."_

They took several steps towards us, swaying their hips and snapping their fingers to the beat. They raised their arms and lifted a knee before turning back to walk away. When the main part of the song started they started into s frenzy of movements. I watched the team as a whole, the effect was startling. All of them moved in sync of each other, their hair even moved with the song. Their bodies moved fluidly as they bent backwards or kicked or spun in tight circles. I noticed immediately that they were on a totally different caliber than the cheerleaders…and their dancing was definitely one of the sexiest things I have ever watched. I heard the other guys start to hoot and whistle at the dancers as they twitched their hips and smiled at us. Emmett was completely absorbed in the routine and didn't bother to even blink when I uttered a strangled "fuck".

"I know…" he mumbled, his eyes wide. I couldn't tell if he was watching someone specifically. "Not only are they sexy as hell…but they are _good._"

I had to agree with him. My eyes found the clumsy brunette again, and I felt my mouth fall open. If I thought the team as a whole was amazing, I was blown away watching only _her_. Her smile was bright, but much more relaxed as she moved with the group. She kicked her long legs impossible high and moved her body in achingly beautiful ways. The dancers clearly shied away from the obviously raunchy dance moves of their cheerleader counterparts, but somehow the effect was so much more of a turn on than any part of the pole-dancing routine from earlier.

The girl's hair flew around her shoulders as she bounced around, and I itched to wrap my hands into those locks. I didn't know what fascinated me about her, but I was hooked. She placed one hand behind her head and the other low on her hip, swinging her body side to side with the beat. I wanted to be that hand at that moment…either one of those hands. I was praying for this song to end to put me out of my misery, and at the same time wanted the images to burn into my mind for instant replay later.

When there was a change in tempo they trotted over to their poms and picked them up. The lights of the stadium made them sparkle with the motions. They returned to their spot, but this time broke into two halves. They turned from the seats and instead faced each other. When the singer continued, the first half started dancing.

"_Now I don't care just what you think, as long as it's about me…"_

When the line repeated, the second half of the dancers took over and mimicked their counterparts. My brunette whipped around in a tight circle and then threw her hands up in the air, making me suck in my breath as the position stretched her body out.

After mirroring each other they turned back to face us. I felt the growing excitement of the team around me as they marched close to us. They stopped and stood there, legs spread slightly and playful smiles on their faces. My girl seemed to be looking past us, not focusing on anything in particular. Then they broke into a cheer at the climax of the song.

"_I don't care!" _

They lifted their hands and pointed at us and the guys around me shouted the echo in the song.

"_I don't care!"_

The girls smiled brighter and then leaned their heads back and shook their shoulders as the singer's voice blared over the speakers. I clenched my hands as I watched my girl's hair swish along her mostly bare back, and I felt my pants tighten in response. When the tempo slowed considerably, they suddenly fell towards the ground and gracefully rolled to the side, kicking one leg in the air and spinning until they stood again. They continued to twirl and then kick a leg out. Their arms moved around their body and over their head in graceful arcs. The beat picked back up and they started back into the stomping rhythm of their dance. Their hands went back to their hips and they shimmied back into a line. As the last line dragged through, each of them spun in a circle, one at a time down the line and back up again. I was again mesmerized that my girl moved so gracefully, not fully believing she was the same klutz from earlier. Finally the song ended and the stands erupted in cheers. The guys were stomping their feet and yelling out of control. Emmett was the loudest of them all. I saw the girls smiling and waving, but the tallest blonde looked right at Emmett and blew him a kiss. I blinked as he elbowed me. "You see why we can't watch this during the game?"

Oh yeah, I could see…and feel. I knew it would be a moment or two before I could walk right.

He pointed to the knockout blonde as she walked with the other girls off the field. "That's my Rosie."

"You lucky bastard!" someone called out from behind us. Emmett smiled smugly, but pointed to Alice. "You met Alice already and you see that girl behind her?"

I nodded… pointing to my brunette. I waited for her to look up at the stands and she finally did. I felt my heart lurch as our gazes locked. This was different from yesterday. Today I felt nothing but pure need as I looked at her. Her eyes went wide with recognition, then narrowed. Alice saw me and smiled before turning to the girl and saying something. The girl's gaze became surprised, then angry. I almost laughed out loud. That girl had fire…I knew somehow I was going to have her.

Emmett nudged me again. "The girl behind Alice, that's Bella."

Bella. The _stay-the-fuck-away-from-her_ Bella…the girl I was supposed to have almost no interaction with whatsoever.

I felt my stomach flip at his words. My eyes didn't leave their forms as they exited the field and my expression was carefully frozen in polite interest. My insides were going insane and my mind was in some sort of damn shock. The only thing I could think was:

_Oh….shit!_

**Seriously, I wish I could show you guys the dance moves I am thinking of, I don't think I am doing a great job of describing them but oh well. I was listening to "I Don't Care" on my mp3 player and I was hit with this vision of the Twilight girls dancing for the boys and then the whole thing kinda folded out in my head. I started jotting ideas down and they seemed like a good thing at the time, but I don't know…let me know what you think because its really iffy for me at this point.**

**The link to the songs are in my profile. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Jodi **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ummmm, yeah. This chapter will be posted sooner than expected because of where I am starting it at and what happens afterwards…see AN at the bottom if you want to hear about the worst "vacation" ever!!!!**

**I am so glad people like this story. Some people don't appreciate the profanity…but it's a part of the story, a part of Dark Edward. So, sorry but the language will continue.**

**Chapter 3**

_**B**_

I slammed into the house and stomped up to my room. Jake was happy to see me, even though my anger practically radiated off of me. I stood there in the middle of my room, trying to control my breathing.

_I baked him muffins!_

That one sentence kept bouncing across my mind. I couldn't believe that our new roommate was the one and only jerk that I ran in to yesterday! How could my luck be _that_ bad? Now I was stuck living with him for the rest of the school year…or until he screwed up and got himself kicked out.

_I baked him muffins! Dammit!_

After a few moments I was able to look past the red haze that had clouded my mind. Jake nudged me with his shoulder and looked at me questionably. I smiled slightly at him, unable to stay mad when he looked at me like that. "How about a nice hot bath, big guy?"  
I let Jake take his bath first, remembering my promise to spend some quality time with him this evening. It was always relaxed me to give Jake a bath. I loved running my fingers through his dark hair and washing it until it gleamed. Jake looked at me with grateful, loving eyes and I smiled at him, laughing when he splash some water my way. A knocking on the door interrupted us. "Bella? It's Alice."

"I am just giving Jake a bath, we'll be out in a minute," I called back.

"Can I help? You know how much I love his hair."

I laughed…my Jake was a ladies man. "Sure thing! I know he would love it too."

"Okay, I am just going to go change into something more comfortable."

When she joined me at the edge of the tub, she immediately started scrubbing Jake's back. He groaned under the feeling of her nails on his back and reached up to give her a wet, sloppy kiss. Alice and I both laughed and Jake wagged his tail, tongue hanging out as he grinned at us. We kept washing him in silence for a while, then Alice tentatively spoke. "So…"

I bit my lip and thought about how to stay calm while I explained my tempter tantrum earlier. When I saw that gorgeous, infuriating man standing next to Emmett, I was immediately irritated. But when Alice leaned over to tell me that he was _the_ Edward Cullen…our housemate…I was pissed! I practically ripped off my costume and shoved it into my gym bag. Rose and Alice just watched me with wide eyes, wisely staying quiet as we drove home.

I couldn't avoid the conversation. "So…I kind of freaked out today." Alice scoffed, "No kidding, does it have something to do with the new kid?"

I kept my eyes on Jake as we rinsed the suds out of his fur. "I have seen Edward before."

"Well his picture was all over the news for a while…" Alice began.

"No, not that. You know I am not big on watching the news." I took one more calming breath. "I saw him yesterday, in the athletic offices. He is _the _guy." I looked at her pointedly. She looked at me blankly for a moment, then her face opened up in surprise. "_He's_ the rude-ass Neanderthal? The guy who knocked you down?"

"Well, it was a combined effort that landed me on the floor, just as much my fault as it was his, but yeah…he was the one."

Alice dropped the cup she was using to rinse Jake and turned her head towards the bathroom door. "Rose!" Her bellow echoed in the small bathroom, causing me to wince and Jake to let out a low howl. Who knew such a small person could make so much noise?

Within moments, Rosalie came barreling through the door, "Who fell?" It was a safe assumption, I had slipped and fallen in this bathroom many times, despite the anti-slip mats. Alice stood up and put her wet hands on her hips, anger flashing through her eyes. "You know the jerk-off that knocked Bella down yesterday?"

"He didn't exactly knock me down…."

Alice ignored me. "Well that guy is Edward friggen Cullen!" Rose looked from her to me, then sighed and threw her hands up in the air in resignation. "Alright, so we have to kill him. I'll get a tarp, you get the shovel…"

I stood up as well, "Hold on a minute! There will be no killing of any kind in this house."

Rose almost pouted. "But Bella, the guy is clearly an asshole and he can't just get away with being a dick to our friend."

I turned to the person who _hasn't_ almost been arrested for assault. "Alice, you met him this morning. What do you think of him?" Her dark eyes flashed as she opened her mouth, but I interrupted her again. "_Before_ you heard anything from me…just what you think from talking to him."

Her mouth closed and she regarded me carefully before speaking. "He didn't say much, and he was pretty broody…"

"But?" I prompted.

"But he seemed….I don't know…sad? He wasn't hostile or rude or anything. I was actually looking forward to having him as a roommate."

"Alice!" Rose hissed. "He is _not_ going to be our roommate! As soon as Emmett hears about what happened he is out of here!"

"No!" I caught both of their attentions. "We are not going to tell Emmett. Look, the guy was rude to me yesterday, but he seemed okay to Alice and he must have seemed okay to Emmett too, or he wouldn't have agreed to keep him on as a house mate. Maybe it's just me." They both rolled their eyes at that.

I couldn't believe I was actually going to say this, "I think we should just leave things as they are and see what happens."

Alice didn't say anything, just regarded me with that same thoughtful expression she got every now and then. Rose stepped closer to me. "Bella, are you sure about this? The guy has some serious issues, that's a fact."

"So do I, Rose."

"That's different. Are you sure you want to have this guy hanging around here all the time? Just say the word and we call the whole thing off."

I thought about it seriously for a moment. We all knew that I didn't do so well with strangers, especially men. But I had been doing much better in the past year. I had even managed to go on a date…though it was a disaster of epic proportions. As long as I didn't get too physically close to him, it should be alright. It was a large house and we were all busy people. I couldn't live my life in fear forever. _I can do this_.

"I'll be fine Rose. Anyways, this may be good for me. If it becomes a problem I will let you guys know."

They both looked at me, searching for any evidence I may be lying. They must have been satisfied at what they saw, because they nodded their heads. "I won't tell Emmett anything right now Bella, but you have got to tell us if you feel the least bit uncomfortable," Rose said resolutely.

"I promise. It will be okay, don't worry." I pulled each of them over for a hug. I didn't know what I would do without them. They have been my family for longer than I care to remember and I knew they would do anything for me.

As I was contemplating how lucky I was, a high-pitched yapping noise sounded from outside the bathroom window. I didn't have to look to know that the neighbor's poodle was in our yard…again. Before I could turn, Jake had jumped out of the tub and barreled passed us out the bathroom door. "Jake!" We all scrambled to catch up with the soaking-wet husky. His feet left dark wet prints in the carpet as we all ran to catch him. "Bella! Don't let him jump on the couch!" Alice screamed back at me. Jake wasn't heading to the couch...he was heading to the kitchen door. I barely managed to stay upright as I stumbled down the stairs. As I ran into the dimly lit kitchen I inwardly groaned to see the door slowly opening. "Wait…" I tried to call out. It was too late. Jake pushed passed the person at the door and into the dark yard where his poodle girlfriend awaited.

Surprise caused the person to curse loudly and jump into the kitchen to escape the dripping dog. I planted my feet to keep from barreling into the person and slipped on the wet patch on the linoleum. "Ow!" I cried out as I landed hard on my rear. The kitchen light flicked on and I looked up once again into Edward Cullen's annoyed face. I felt my face flush, both from embarrassment and from the uncontrollable irritation I got from seeing him again. His eyes narrowed down on me and he opened his mouth, seeming angrier than I was. "What the f-..." he cut off abruptly, pursing his lips together and taking a deep breath. He must have had a change of heart about what he was going to say because when he spoke again, it seemed more controlled. "Are you hurt?"

I blinked up at him in astonishment. I fully expected a verbal lashing like I had received the day before. I wasn't prepared to respond to him civilly. He didn't wait for me to answer him, but held out a hand towards me. I reflexively took it and he hauled me to my feet. As soon as I was stable, I jerked my hand from his. "Sorry about Jake." I mumbled, gesturing to his wet shirt.

Edward's hands clenched into fists and I had the distinct feeling he was just inches away from letting me know how pissed off he really was. "You must be Bella." He ground out between clenched teeth. I folded my arms across my chest. "And you must be the infamous Edward Cullen." My voice had just a tinge of acid in it.

We stared each other down for a few moments before I finally sighed. "Look, apparently we got off on the wrong foot. We are both adults, we can co-habitat the same area until the end of the year, right?"

He relaxed his posture slightly, looking me over with his cool green eyes. A small nod was all I got, and I realized Alice was right to say he was a quiet guy. "We probably won't even see that much of each other, so let's just try to make the best out of this situation. You leave me alone and I will leave you alone." I stared up at him bravely.

His lips twitched into a small, amused smirk. I felt my heart thump irregularly at the change it made in his face. I could only enjoy it for a moment before his stone mask was in place again. "Agreed."

I almost wished he would stick out his hand again to shake on it. I was surprised at myself. Usually I avoided any unnecessary contact with men, but for some reason I was eager to feel his fingers around mine again. I shook myself out of my reverie as Emmett through the kitchen door, Jake in tow. "Someone missing a mutt?" He teased. Jake's tongue was hanging out, a big doggy grin on his face. He closed his mouth and sniffed towards Edward. We all waited for him to let out his customary growl when a stranger was present, Emmett's hand still clasped around his collar. Jake, however, decided that Edward was far less interesting than his bowl of kibble in the corner. He strained against Emmett to reach his bowl and we all raised our eyebrows, stunned. "Huh," Emmett mused. Edward merely shrugged his broad shoulders and moved past me to the living room. His eyes locked on mine for a brief second and another smirk flitted on his face. "Thanks for the muffins." His voice was almost teasing. I clenched my hands in response and tried not to let the anger consume me again. Emmett and Jasper looked at my expression questionably, but I just shook my head and reached for the towels under the sink to dry Jake off.

_I can't believe I made him muffins!_

_**E**_

I lay on my bed, glaring at the ceiling as my music worked hard to calm me down. I have been here for twenty-four hours and I already had had the house pissed off at me. When I left the kitchen, the smirk died on my face at the hostile glares I got from the two other girls in the house. They stood in the living room entrance, blocking my way to the stairs. I mumbled an "excuse me" and I tried to push past them and retreat to my room, but they refused to move. I glared back at them and mimicked their pose, arms crossed…waiting for them to get the fuck over whatever their problem was. Finally, they shifted to let me by. Alice's glare softened as I looked at her and that made me more uncomfortable than the blond one's anger. That one –Rosalie, I remembered- kept her glare and narrowed her eyes as I passed. I was almost amused to see her hands clench angrily on her arm. "Watch yourself, Cullen." She hissed. I didn't bother to turn back to her when I answered, "Back at you, princess." Her growl followed me up the stairs.

I figured it was just a matter of time before I got kicked out. Obviously, Bella told her girlfriends about our little encounter yesterday and I was now on their shit list. As soon as Emmett found out that I had hurt poor little Bella's feelings, I was out of this house and off the team before my first game. I mulled over the encounter in the kitchen. The wet dog running into me made my foul mood plummet. When I saw Bella on the floor just like the first time we met…I had a hard time keep my comments to myself. Instead, I remembered the warning Emmett gave me and tried to be as civil as possible. The feeling that coursed through my hand as I helped her up threw me off balance. I tried to subtly recover from that strange feeling by giving her a little jab about the muffins. I knew she hadn't realized who I was when she baked them and I was pretty sure she hated the fact she went through the trouble. The angry little scowl on her face made my day.

The night wore on and the noises in the house quieted down. I was sure that every set of footsteps in the hallway were the ones to send me packing. I was tempted to throw all my shit back into the boxes to be one step ahead of the process.

The house gradually became silent. I rolled over to look at the clock and see it was past midnight. I knew sleep would not come easy tonight. Obviously Emmett was planning on making me sweat for a while. I desperately needed a drink. Instead I plugged in my headphones and cranked the music up loud.

***

I jerked awake sometime later. A glance at the clock showed I had only been asleep for a few hours. I took a deep breath and my stomach growled at the smell drifting in the air. I pulled off my headphones just in time to hear a slight clattering coming from downstairs. The thought of facing any of my charming house mates made me want to bury my face in my pillow and try to return to dark oblivion. My stomach protested that idea, and I reluctantly rolled off the bed. I didn't bother pulling on anything more than my t-shirt and boxers before peeking out to the hallway. I felt like a fucking coward, skulking around the dark house, but I really did not want to deal with drama in the middle of the night. I heard snoring coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room. Usually I would assume that it was Emmett who was snoring, but after meeting Rosalie I wasn't so sure it wasn't her snores I was hearing. The girl was downright scary….hot, but scary.

The stairs made little noise as I tromped down, barely managing to avoid a collision with the couch on my way to the kitchen. Light peaked under the door and I braced my eyes for the sting of the light. The sight that greeted me was not what I expected.

Bella's back was turned to me, stirring something over the stove. Her dark hair covered half of her back, the ends curled and swaying slightly as she worked. She was wearing a long gray t-shirt over black sleeping pants. Her small feet were bare and her large brown wolf look-alike slept peacefully on the floor next to her.

I felt a pang of something wash through me. Something…indefinable. Not quite desire…more like a longing, a hunger that had nothing to do with the food she was cooking. My musings of the unfamiliar feeling were interrupted by the embarrassing loud growl of my stomach. The dog's head popped up and whined in my direction. Bella gasped and turned to face me, her brown eyes wide in surprise. She had a vaguely panicked look on her face and clutched the spatula in shaking hands.

I held up my hands to show her I came in peace. "It's just me." I said quietly. She let out a long breath, closing her eyes briefly. The spatula slowly came down, but I noticed her hands still shook. I narrowed my eyes inquisitively. _Just what is this girl's deal?_

"I'm sorry," I tried again. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She shook her head and gave a dry chuckle. "It's okay." She looked back at me and we just looked at each other for a while. The strange feeling crept back over me and I felt my brown furrow in confusion. She must have thought I was questioning her, she gestured to the stove. "Hungry?"

I nodded warily. She seemed to be in a forgiving mood if she was offering me food. She looked over me again and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. She pointed to the kitchen table and thought about how Emmett warned me against being alone with Bella. He _did _say I could hang around her if she asked me to, however, so I pulled a chair out from the table. Before I sat down, I hesitated. If she was going to try at this, then I guess I better give my best fucking effort too.

I turned back to her and spoke a little harsher than I meant to. "Plates?" She looked at me, eyebrows raised, and pointed to a cabinet near the sink. I grabbed two plates and then found the drawer of silverware, pulling out a couple of forks. By the time I had the utensils gathered, she was moving to the table, skillet in hand. I set the plates down and she slid half of a quesadilla on each one. We both sat down and wordlessly began eating. The quesadilla was delicious, and I told her that. She blushed and looked down at her plate. We continued that way, taking bites of food and glancing up at each other every now and then, each trying to figure the other person out.

Within minutes I had inhaled all of my food. She offered the rest of her food to me and I narrowed my eyes at her petite frame. "You should eat the rest of it." She seemed like she could use more to eat…and to sleep. There were faint shadows under her eyes, making her pale skin look almost translucent. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot as she glanced from her plate to my eyes. "I'm not that hungry." She pushed her plate over to me as she spoke. I hesitated for another minute and she smirked at me. "If you don't eat it I am just going to give it to Jake." The husky picked up his brown head from the floor and his ears twitched expectantly. _Not a fucking chance._ I snatched the quesadilla up and shoved it in my mouth, glaring at the dog in defiance. This food was just too good to give to that mutt. Bella laughed quietly at my obvious enthusiasm to her food.

I swallowed and wiped my mouth before talking. "If you aren't that hungry, what's with the middle of the night Martha Stewart act?"

She shrugged her shoulders and I swallowed thickly as some of her hair fell over her shoulder. "I couldn't sleep. Cooking helps me relax."

Alice had said she like to cook. I wondered if they knew how often she cooked in the middle of the night. The lack of their presence in the kitchen meant they were either deeply asleep or this was a regular occurrence in the house. I knew I shouldn't pry…hell, I shouldn't even _care_. Despite that, I found myself asking her, "Anything I can help with?"

Normally, this was where a woman would look coyly at me, bat her eyes and suggestively encourage me to "help" with their problems…under the sheets. I said the words before, but this was the first time I actually meant them. Bella didn't smile at me, she didn't even look at me. She shrugged again and reached to scratch Jake's ears. "Bad dreams." Her voice was almost inaudible. I felt my muscles tense in reaction to that small whisper. I was in uncharted territory. Traditionally I ran as fast as my legs could carry me away from any deep emotions. That was Jasper's department. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to put my hands on her….wait…not on her. I wanted to _hold _her. I felt my hand inch across the top of the table and stop halfway there. She looked at my hand, then her eyes slowly reached mine. I felt drawn into those chocolate colored pools, drowning in them. There was an overwhelming amount of kindness coming from her. I hadn't seen anything like it before. I knew I could trust this girl…then I suddenly realized something. "You didn't tell Emmett about our meeting yesterday, did you?"

She smirked at me. "You aren't kicked out yet, are you?"

"Why?" I whispered disbelievingly. Anyone else would have thrown up a red flag and got him booted out, just based on his reputation alone. She tilted her head slightly, like she was trying to read me. I wanted to squirm under her scrutiny. It felt like she was seeing me stripped emotionally bare…seeing the Edward that had died a long time ago.

"I told Rose and Alice and got their opinions. You can guess how Rose felt about you." I snorted at this. She continued, "But Alice didn't feel anything threatening from you, and Emmett said you were an okay guy."

"Yeah, but if you told him what an ass I was I am sure he would change his mind."

Bella nodded. "That's why I made the girls promise not to say anything. I am the last person that needs to judge someone by their circumstances." I frowned, wanting to know more behind the somber tone of her words.

"I want to work out this living arrangement as peacefully as possible. I also wouldn't mind getting to know more about you." She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, waiting for my reaction.

I looked away, to the now-empty plate. "There isn't much about me that the eleven o'clock news hasn't already reported."

"I don't believe that…and I don't watch a lot of news anyways." She got up then, taking our plates and setting them in the sink. "You don't have to talk to me about anything, but you can if you want." She smiled warmly then, "Alice and Rose say I am a great listener."

"That's good, since I have already seen how much Alice likes to talk." I felt my lips curl up in a small smile and her laughter made my fingers twitch suddenly. I ran a hand through my already bed-ruined hair. "Listen, I appreciate the offer, but I can't promise that I will ever want to talk…to you or to anyone."

"But if you do…you know where I live." Her gentle smile made me want to curl up in a ball and bawl out all of my feelings right there on the kitchen floor. _Yeah Cullen, very damn manly_. Instead I gestured to her. "You too, you know…if you want to talk… or whatever." I hoped that she got the idea.

I turned to make my way out of the kitchen, turning back to her one last time. She was still leaning against the counter next to the sink. "Hey." She lifted her gaze to me. "Thanks for dinner and…sorry…about yesterday." I felt my cheeks coloring as I spoke to her…feeling like a fucking moron. This was _definitely _uncharted territory. Thankfully, Bella had mercy on me. She gave me a small smile and a wave. "Good night Edward."

"Good night," I echoed, then left for my room. When I lay down on the bed this time, I was much more relaxed than I had been in weeks. I had two roommates who were decent to me, one who was questionable and one who still might kick my ass if I touch her garage. Plus, the dog didn't bite me. Yeah, life was looking just a little better now. I tried not to think about Bella as I drifted off to sleep. I hope she was not having more nightmares. I knew all about nightmares, and how they can fuck up your whole life.

Thinking about Bella made me think of our talking in the kitchen and of the awesome food she made. I had weird dreams that night of Bella in a baker's outfit, complete with tall, white hat. She had cooked so much we couldn't find our stuff anywhere. There were muffins pouring out of the drawers and pies stacked up in the closet. Emmett came barreling out of the kitchen, flour scattered around him. He grabbed me and frantically began pushing me towards the kitchen. "Stop her! Jesus…you have to do something!" I was pushed into the kitchen and it was just me and Bella in there…a very naked Bella. I felt myself drift closer to her as she turned to me. Her breasts were covered in thick white flour, doing a damn good job of covering up the goods. There was a large dark splotch on her left hip that I was drawn to. It was her bruise, the one I saw when she went on the practice field. Or was it a birth mark?

Bella slowly sauntered over to me, a dark bottle in her hand. My feet felt rooted to the floor. I knew I was supposed to tell her something, but my mouth just hung open limply. My body was overcome with lust with each step she took to me. I kept my hands at my sides, determined to not cross that damn line. There was a line here, literally, in the dream. It was a large black and yellow line stretch across the kitchen, directly between me and Bella. We both stopped within reach of that line, neither one of us able to get any closer. Just when I thought the torture couldn't get any worse, she gave me the sexiest smile I had even seen. It turned my knees to jelly and I sank down, keeping my eyes on her the entire time. The flour was slowly falling off her body, each step causing a little more skin behind it. Slowly, her hard, pink nipples became exposed and I felt my mouth water. The flour trailed down her belly and then swirled around her long, tight legs. I itched to follow that patch with my fingers. When my eyes jumped back up to her face I was floored at what happened next. Bella took the dark bottle and turned it over, squeezing the contents across her chest. _Chocolate._

I watched, panting heavily as she drizzled the chocolate over her perfect breasts and I know I moaned out loud as she rubbed the chocolate into her skin. I didn't think I could stand another moment of this. I was so close to exploding on myself just from watching her. Bella winked at me and pulled something off the counter next to her…a large red apple. I didn't find it to be blatantly sexy…until she rubbed her breasts with it, coating the apple in warm, dark chocolate…running the hard fruit over her taught nipples, over and over again. She offered it to me when she was done, palming the beautiful fruit in both of her hands. I knew something big would happen once I took that first bite, but I didn't care. I had to have that apple. I leaned across the border line and she reached out with her hands. I smelled the sweetness of the chocolate apple…it smelled just as good as Bella must smell in real life. Sinfully sweet. I opened my mouth and took the biggest bit I could possible take. Something stirred hard in my groin as I chewed. When I managed to swallow, I looked back at Bella and saw her leaning against the counter top. She was moaning and writhing as if with a lover, though she was alone. She reached for another apple. This time she took a bite out of it first and let the juices run down her face. The apple was moving across her chest, around each breast...then down her stomach…and lower…..

I shot straight up in bed, breath gasping and morning wood raging.

_Shit shit shit!_

I ran my fingers through my sweat-soaked hair. That was the most intense dream I ever had. I really didn't need the extra tension in this house. I breathed deep and looked at the clock. Since it was almost noon, I was grateful it was Saturday. I knew the players had to meet several hours before the game, so I stood to make my way to the shower…a very cold shower.

Downstairs, there was music thumping in the air and Emmett was in his jersey and stretching on the living room floor. He looked up at me when I walked in. "Hey man, ready for the big day?" I ignored his grin and scoffed at his question. "Yeah, real fucking excited to watch from the sidelines." Emmett shrugged and reached for his toes. "Think of it as motivation to kick some serious ass in the next game." I gestured to his stretching. "I thought you said we stretch in the other room."

Emmett grinned at me again. "Yeah, only if the girls aren't in there…and they will be in there most of the day. Grab some food and we will head out to the stadium in a bit."

I walked towards the kitchen and glanced at the open door of the warm up room. The girls were on the floor stretching like Emmett was. Bella was closest to the door. Her arm was stretched over her head, bending sideways towards her left foot. The warm up outfit she wore was tight-fitting and it rode up on her mid-drift, exposing a good amount of pale flesh. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, so long it was almost touching the mats on the floor. I watched her for a moment, trying desperately not to remember my dream.

It wasn't working.

The music changed and the three girls slowly rose from their stretches and I took that as a cue to leave before I got caught gawking like a fucking pervert. I shook my head roughly, thinking about anything and everything but that small girl stretching in the next room. I pushed open the kitchen door, took one step in and froze. The music drowned out my loud groan and the sound of the kitchen door slamming as I rushed back out of there.

There, in the middle of the kitchen table, in a pristine white bowl, sat a bushel of bright red apples.

**Geez! I hope this chapter doesn't suck too bad because it was a daemon to write! I am trying not to rush their connection, but its Edward and Bella for crying out loud! The connection is ALWAYS there, right?**

**Okay, here is a skinny about my life lately and why this chapter is late, but earlier than I had originally expected:**

**I had flown out of Raleigh with Tulsa as my final destination. Well that day a wicked winter storm blew across the middle of the US, blanketing the area with a BUNCH of ice and snow! Well my layover was in Chicago, which was okay but my flight to Tulsa got cancelled and I took a later one. So I got to sit in the airport for 6 hours and it kept getting delayed and delayed. Finally we left and there was a quick stop in St Louis…SNOW EVERYWHERE! I have never seen such powdery snow in my life! I was originally supposed to arrive in Tulsa by 5 pm, but by the time we landed it was after 10 pm. My husband and family were supposed to pick me up, but they were two hours away and the roads were a solid sheet of thick ice. Me and a fellow passenger managed to find a hotel for the night and I get there to find that there is no way for me to get any dinner….only vending machines! ARGH! Plus, I had given my husband all my toiletries since he drove to Arkansas so I wouldn't have to check my bags. So I had no toothbrush or anything!**

**The next day, the roads were not much better but my husband said he was going to try to get to me so I waited in the lobby after checkout for four hours. When he finally got there it was a pure romantic moment! He just grabbed me and held me close, telling me he loved me! Awww!**

**He, his brother and I made the long trip back to Arkansas and it was SCARY! People were sliding all over the place! We get to his house and there is no power…and the power wasn't expected to come back for weeks possibly! They had two small kids, so we stayed the first night but had to find a hotel for the second night since it was so cold. I spent the next two days in a hotel with 3 adults and two small children. The oldest was three and he is in serious need of some discipline! I wanted to jump out the window! As soon as the sun came up on Friday, my husband and I were like, "PEACE OUT!" and we booked it from there. It was a 20 hour drive back to Jacksonville, NC and I am still friggen exhausted!**

**Anywho, long bitchy story of the worst vacation EVER! If you want to see a few pictures of the trip you can see my myspace page:**

**www (dot) myspace (dot) come (slash) jodithomas**

**Thanks for listening to my rant…I feel better now : ) **


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, here it goes. I have really lost momentum with this story, but I will try to stick with it. Thanks to those of you who have encouraged and supported me.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

Chapter 4

_**B**_

The game was a disaster. That wasn't too surprising though.

The team was known for its perpetual losing streak, but it was still painful to watch. The defense kept it from being a total blowout, but the current quarterback threw more passes to the other team than to our own players. I felt Emmett's frustration as he kicked over the water cooler on his way back to the locker room. Rosalie groaned as we walked into our own locker rooms. "Emmett is going to need some extra special comfort tonight."

"Oookay Rose, honey. We have discussed the need to share too much personal information, right?" Alice rolled her eyes as she peeled off her halter top. I usually tried to tune out their conversations at this point, since it sometimes led to more mental pictures than I care to have. Rosalie leaned around her locker door. "Not _that_! Well….probably _that_ too but I was thinking more along the lines of Thai food and some man-movies with his girls."

I didn't look up from putting my clothes in my bag. "Maybe it will give us a chance to get to know Edward some more."

Complete silence made me look up at my friends. They were both wrapped in towels, shampoo bottles in their hands, perfectly manicured eyebrows raised in shock. "Bella," Alice began, "are you serious?" Her bell-like voice tinkled through the quiet room. I was not surprised to find that we were the last ones in here. Since we all had to share showers, it worked out better to use the stadium showers before heading home.

Rosalie was, of course, slightly less tactful than Alice. "What the hell are you thinking? Did you forget that asshole was the one who knocked you down the other day? And you are all ready to invite him into our inner circle?"

"Calm down, Rose. I am very aware of what he did, and I am also aware that there is more to him than what we may have seen. Didn't we agree to give him a chance?" I think my tone sounded just a tad defensive, but I chose to ignore that.

"How do you know he isn't anything more than a drug-popping son of a bitch with a serious attitude problem?" Once again, Rosalie cuts to the chase. I didn't have a chance to answer before Alice spoke up. "How does anyone know that you aren't anything more than a foul-mouthed, fist-throwing, dance-bimbo who is screwing the star-defensive player on the football team?"

I watched Rosalie's mouth open and close with no sound coming out. I took that opportunity to speak up. "I have talked to him a little, and I think there is more to him than what we have heard. I just think we should give him a chance to prove himself before we throw him out to the wolves."

Alice started for the showers. "I have no problem with that." Rosalie shrugged, anger leaving her face slightly flushed but she seemed to be under control. "Fine, we will invite Cullen to join us." I gave her a small smile of encouragement. Alice chirped up from the steamy room as Rose and I walked in to join her. "Don't worry Bella, if he messes this up…we all know how vindictive I can be. Rose won't even have to lift a finger."

_**E**_

"This is horseshit!" Emmett threw his helmet down in disgust. I didn't bother saying anything, because once I opened my mouth a whole slew of insulting words would be flying out. The rest of the team wisely stayed away from us, most of them looking about as pleased as we did. Instead of walking around and beating some talent into them, I settled for clenching my jaw and banging my head against my locker door. I was in my jersey, but since I was not allowed to play tonight I didn't have any of my gear on. It was pure hell watching my new team bury themselves. Mike Newton should pick another afternoon activity instead of football…like perhaps driving an ice-cream truck. Having him as quarterback was a colossal mistake.

Emmett had busted his ass on that field and I had no complaints about the defense. The offense was another story. The offensive coach was in the middle of a dejected huddle of players speaking in low tones, probably telling them things that they already learned by that ass-whooping. What really set me off was when I saw Newton standing by his locker away from the group, taking off his gear. I couldn't help what I did next.

Emmett made a move to follow me as I pushed off the locker and stepped over a bench seat to give Newton a rough shove. He dropped his shoulder pads and glared up at me. "What the hell are you doing?" His voice nearly cracked in surprise.

"No! What the hell are _you_ doing? Your fucking team is over there getting a speech from a coach when they should be hearing it from _you! _What the hell kind of team leader are you? Never mind that you don't know what the hell a receiver is for and that you are the worst quarterback in the history of college football, but you are their friggen leader! Get your scrawny ass over there and act like one!" I punctuated my rant with a shove.

Newton didn't go over to the team, but suddenly grew a pair and shoved me back. I cocked my head to the side, regarding him for one moment. My fist clenched and I started to lunge for the little shit. Emmett grabbed me from behind and pulled me back. I might as well have been a pillow, for all the good struggling against him did. I didn't take my eyes off Newton as Emmett's arms squeezed me like steel bands. "Don't do this, man. He isn't worth it."

"The whole damn team has gone to shit thanks to this douche-bag's leadership skills!"

"I know Edward! We all know it… hell, I am sure _he_ even knows it. That's why you are here. Don't blow it before it even starts."

I was already coming down from my rage when Coach Meyers barreled into the locker room. "Everyone, sit your asses down!" When it took us more than a moment to respond, he barked louder, "Now!" We moved to sit on the bench seats and waited for the verbal lashing to ensue. I wondered how much of that altercation he actually witnessed. Knowing my luck, I was two sentences from packing my shit and hitting the road. I rested my head in my hands and grabbed my hair roughly to try to keep it together.

"I could tell you what went wrong out there on the field tonight, but you already know what the hell went wrong. I could also tell you that there will be some changes coming up, but I figured you could have guessed that as well. Now, some of you may think I am just a stupid old man…"

_Don't laugh, Edward. .laugh._

"…but I do occasionally come up with a few gems." His southern drawl echoed in the tense room. "I have talked to you all before about bringing on someone, shall we say….outside the box. Cullen has a history and that is no secret." I felt a couple dozen pairs of eyes swing in my direction. I didn't raise my head…and to give myself credit I didn't raise my middle finger either. "He may not have put it as eloquently as I would have, but he made a point. Newton!" He barked at the clueless blonde quarterback. Newton shook the bench when he jolted where he sat. "I have told you a hundred times that being a quarterback is more than just passing a ball…and so far you haven't even mastered _that_ little skill." I smiled at the floor, just imagining the color of Newton's face in that moment.

"Cullen!" I jerked my head up in surprise. Coach Meyers had a wry smile on his round face. "You ready to put your money where your mouth is?" I glanced at Emmett, who was grinning widely at me. I straightened up on the bench, looking over the other players. Most of them kept their faces blank, which was better than the hostile glares I had received yesterday. I guess getting your asses handed to you sends you to any port in the storm. I turned my gaze back to coach and gave him a curt nod. "Alright then, you will start the game next Saturday."

Newton stood and slammed his locker shut on the way out of the room. Coach ignored him and stalked over to me. When he was standing directly in front of me, his voice lowered menacingly. "Don't let your anger get away from you again…even if it is for a good reason." He turned and moved towards the exit. "The team is yours now Cullen, don't let them down."

**************************************

After we showered up, Emmett and I headed back to the house. Emmett was grinning still and I was surprised to find that I had a hard time keeping the smile away tonight as well. It started out as such a horrible day, but I was determined to blow everyone away next Saturday.

"Hey man, do I need to watch out for Newton?" I asked more out of curiosity than actually worry.

Emmett snorted. "Not exactly. He is a chicken-shit, but if he _does_ want to piss you off it will not be to your face." I definitely wasn't worried about that; I was used to people talking behind my back. I could handle it.

When we pulled into the driveway I saw that the garage door was still open. Since I had been warned time and again to keep my sorry ass out of "Rosalie's" garage I never knew what it even looked like inside. I felt my jaw drop open and turned to Emmett. "Whose Camaro is that?" The cherry red classic was parked in the middle of a mechanic's dream…fully stocked benches and shelves full of tools and parts. All that was lacking was a hydraulic lift. Emmett's eyes took on a look of pure pride, "That's Rosie's second love….a close second too."

I could see now why she wanted me to stay out of there. Hell, I respected that. If I had some tool come stay in my house I would put an armed guard on that garage with orders to shoot to kill. My opinion of the brash blonde went through the roof.

Speak of the devil….she came out the side door, her pale hair shining in the porch light. "Hey baby! We got you Thai food and all the Lethal Weapon movies." Emmett picked her up and she let out a laugh, kicking her feet up as they left the ground. Emmett pulled back to give her a quick kiss. "You have some of that…"

"…chocolate cake? Bella had some on stand-by. We kind of figured the game would be a bust so we were prepared."

Despite the horrid evening, Emmett's mood had shifted back to deliriously happy. He turned back to me to explain. "The girls cheer me up with food and violence. I love this house!" He set Rosalie down and they went to her car to get the last of the food. I trudged inside and snagged a box of cereal on my way to the stairs, ignoring the bowl of apples on the kitchen table. I heard the sound of the other girls chatting in the living room but couldn't hear what they were saying. My room was almost welcoming despite the lack of personal touches. I shut the door and flung myself on the bed. The pressure was kicking in and seriously fucking me up.

My class work had piled up already and now I was in charge of one of the worst football teams in the entire country. On one hand, I wanted to jump up and give the middle finger to all the people who told me I would never play again. On the other hand, I had a lot of work ahead of me. I believed what I told Newton…the quarterback is a leader and should act that way. I could hardly convince myself to show a miniscule amount of discipline. How was I going to get the whole team to buy into that?

_Do as I say…not as I do._

Saturday will be a make or break for me. I knew I would have some opposition from the team at first, but I am hoping after a few drills during practice Monday that they will at least respect my arm even if they don't respect my leadership qualities.

A soft knock on my door interrupted my brooding. _Now what?_

The door opened to reveal Bella. Her hair was still damp from the shower, leaving the strands wild around her shoulders. Tonight she was wearing a black t-shirt and red pants. Her skin was bright and smooth looking, even without a trace of makeup. When I began contemplating the lusciousness of her lips, she started nibbling on the lower one nervously. I glanced at her eyes and they were looking up at me through thick lashes. I didn't think she had any clue what she was doing to me.

"Umm..." she began, "we were hoping you would hang out with us tonight. If you are busy or don't want to or whatever, that's okay too." Her words were low and almost stammering as she shifted from foot to foot nervously. I couldn't help but notice she wasn't wearing socks again.

"Aren't you guys having some sort of 'Cheer Emmett up' night or something?" I managed to keep the sarcasm mostly out of my voice and tried for a little light teasing tone. It must have worked because her lips twitched up in amusement. "Well, it's more of a 'Cheer the _guys_ up' night." I narrowed my eyes fractionally. "You don't have to throw me a bone or anything. I don't need the pity party." I could still feel anger oozing from me, but for this girl I toned it down…a lot.

Then, she did the damndest thing…she grinned at me. Most people walk away or shove back and that is something I am usually prepared for. Her smile threw me off balance…in more ways than one. "Well, we were thinking of you too when we got the food and movies. We got more than enough for five people, and everyone likes Lethal Weapon…right?" She pointed to the cereal box on my bed. "So unless you have other dinner plans, would you like to join us?"

I didn't even look back at the cereal box.

Everyone was piled onto the furniture in the large living room. Emmett and Rosalie were sharing the love-seat, Alice was on one end of the couch and Bella walked over to sit next to her, stumbling a little on the take-out bag on the floor. I kept back a chuckle as her face went a lovely shade of red. The only empty seat was next to her and I hesitated, then shrugged and sat down. I felt a little more than awkward at first, feeling like I was an intruder in something I had no business being a part of.

Rosalie ignored me while we ate, which was fine by me. Emmett and I decided against talking about the game to save our sanity, so we talked about who were the guys to watch out for on the team. "Of course, you already know not to trust Newton as far as you can throw the little shit." I nodded as I chewed, but saw Bella stiffen slightly out of the corner of my eye. Rosalie glanced at me momentarily before switching to Bella. Alice reached over to swat Emmett's arm. "He is on The List!" She hissed menacingly.

I must have looked as confused as I felt because Alice proceeded to explain her actions. "There is a list of people who we don't mention in this house for various reasons." I swallowed my food and tried to look at her with a serious face. "And is this list posted somewhere so I can know for my own safety?"

This earned an amused snort from Rosalie and I put that on my victory shelf. Alice nodded in all seriousness. "I could write them down for you, but it's pretty easy to remember. One…Mike Newton of course. Two…Jessica Stanley."

"Bitch." Rosalie and Bella chanted simultaneously. I remembered Jessica was the head cheerleader and from what Emmett has told me, I had to side with my roommates on this.

"Three…Tyler Crowley." Alice crossed her arms in front of her angrily and gave me a pointed look. "You are sleeping in what used to be his room."

Ah. Enough said.

"That's it?" I asked. The small brunette nodded and I kept my serious face. _Whatever pixie-girl._

When the food was cleared away the first movie was switched on. The television was huge and with the lights turned out it seemed like we were in a theater…with couches. I scarfed down the chocolate cake Bella had made and did a pretty fucking fantastic job of not moaning orgasmically. My roommates didn't have the same control as I did apparently and there were sounds of pleasure in between the action scenes. Only Bella remained as quiet as I did, and she hadn't really said anything since we sat down for dinner. I was beginning to see that she was a quiet kind of girl. She kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, flushing slightly when her eyes met mine. I would look away when that happened, because I wasn't just glancing at her…I was opening staring at her.

_She is beautiful._

This revelation didn't just sneak up on me. I knew she was attractive from the moment I laid eyes on her. It just astounded me that she was one of the few people I have met that got more beautiful each time I looked at her. Usually people in my life got more hideous as their true nature came out.

The second movie started and the night settled in around us. Every now and then someone would make a crack about the movie, usually Emmett, but other than that we just sat in comfortable silence. I tried not to get my hopes up, but this was the first place that felt like home in a long time.

I had just glanced away from Bella again when I felt her shiver slightly next to me. I looked back to her and saw her fold her arms over her chest and tuck her legs underneath herself. Realizing she must be cold, I reacted without even thinking about it. I quietly stood up and walked over the pile of blankets on the floor and handed one over to her. She looked from it to me in surprise, and then stammered out a "thank you" before taking it. I shrugged and sat back down, trying to ignore the stares from her roommates. When I couldn't shake the feeling of burning eyes I turned and saw that everyone but Rosalie had turned back to the movie. She had her head propped on Emmett's chest, but looked at me in a curious way. She didn't say anything and I turned back to the movie before I started squirming under her scrutiny. Okay, so that was a totally un-dickhead thing for me to do, but they didn't need to make a big fucking deal out of it.

After the third movie, we gave up. It was the middle of the night and we all stumbled towards the stairs in a sleep-craved haze, Emmett mumbling something about "the best girls ever". Bella was in front of me and turned into her doorway, but faced me before she shut the door. I was amused to see her large dog spread across her bed on his back, snoring softly. She gave me a shy smile, "Thanks again for the blanket, and…for hanging out with us."

I tried to think of something eloquent to say, something that showed her that I am not the jerk everyone makes me out to be, but all that came out was a gruff "your welcome" before I turned to my room. I sat on my bed and thought about the total Twilight Zone I was stuck in. What was is about this girl that I felt I needed to change myself for? I had spent the better part of two years doing what I wanted and not giving a damn about the consequences. I had never sheltered my thoughts or my actions from anyone…just letting what I was thinking fly out of my mouth with no consideration. But this one small girl, whom I have only known for a handful of days, has turned me completely around.

I didn't want to feel this way. My life was way too complicated as it was to add an awkward roommate situation to the list. However, I would appreciate a friend…and based on what I knew about her I think she is someone I could easily be friends with. The dream I had last night crept up in the back of my mind, and I ruthlessly pushed it back. There could be none of that if I wanted to maintain the "friend zone". As for her roommates' warning, there was nothing in their little by-laws that said we couldn't be friends. Sure, she had issues…that much was clear. But hell, so did I. Maybe this was just one more thing to push me into the right direction. I may be pissed off at the world, but that doesn't mean I am an idiot. I wasn't about to throw this all away, especially for something as mundane as pissing off my roommates. I would just kept things going like they have been, because that has worked for me so far. I would talk, hang out, be civil, pitch in for groceries and whatever…then that would be one less thing to worry about.

I reached over to check my phone and saw I had a missed text. Jasper left a message saying he was out of town until Monday but we should hang out again that night. I winced, thinking of not only my first practice but of the shit-load of homework I had to do that afternoon. I text him back saying to meet me after practice and he could come back to the house. I reminded myself to clear it with Emmett before setting my phone back on my nightstand. It lay next to the only framed photograph I owned. In this photograph I was smiling…a real honest-to-God grin. I hardly recognized myself as I gripped the small blonde girl next to me. The picture was taken at one of the happiest moments of my life with one of the few people in my life that I truly loved. My throat tightened automatically, as it did every time I looked at that picture. The guilt and regret always bubbled dangerously at the surface of my emotions. I felt guilt for not pursuing the life I was meant to lead…the one that I knew would make a difference in not only my life, but the lives of those closest to me as well. The regret…well that was always there. I regretted that she was gone, a young life wasted. That would never change.

Despite the gut-wrenching pain that came with every glance at the picture, I unpacked it this morning and placed it where I would see it the most. I needed the reminder.

_**B**_

Sunday was a day I think we all needed. After last night's get-together, tension had decreased in the house significantly. We all seemed to migrate to the kitchen at the same time and while everyone else had learned not to ask if I wanted help with cooking, Edward still offered. I smiled over at his rumpled appearance, his hair in an explosive disarray and his blue t-shirt wrinkled from sleep. He slowly returned the smile, but then looked away from me. I asked him to grab some plates again and we sat down to eat. Alice and Rosalie and I were discussing our practice time today. There was no official team practice, but we took it upon ourselves to tweak the routines on our days off if we had time.

"Alice, I need some homework time later." I reminded her. Its hard enough fitting in college assignments in a weekend but add a sports program on top of it and it was almost impossible. I didn't have to worry because pretty much everyone at the table groaned in agreement. The boys decided to throw the ball around in the backyard for a while. Everyone looked over at Edward as he hesitantly cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask you," he looked from Emmett to the rest of us, "all of you…well since I am the new guy and …everything…"

He was trying very hard not to be nervous and I found that to be so incredibly endearing. I gave him what I hope was an encouraging smile, and he focused on just me as he continued. "I was wondering if it would be alright if my friend came over sometime?"

Oh. Was he nervous because it was a _girl_friend? I looked down at the table, confused by the disappointment I had whirling around inside me. Rosalie asked the question I had on the tip of my tongue, but probably a little harsher than I would have asked. "What _kind_ of friend?"

Edward's eyes narrowed at her tone, but he didn't grab her bait. "His name is Jasper Whitlock. He is a senior here at UW and we have known each other since we were kids."

Emmett put his fork down. "Hey man, you know I have to ask…is he from Maryland?" I was confused by his question until Edward nodded his head and answered calmly, "Yeah but he has been over here for years. He had nothing to do with my…activities at UMD." I knew then that Emmett was asking if his friend was involved in the same illegal activities as Edward had been accused of.

Emmett shrugged, "I don't have a problem with that, but the same rules apply to him in this house. Girls?" He looked over at each one of us. I nodded my head and smiled, partially for Edward's sake but mostly because I was thrilled that Jasper was not a girl. "Sure, sure. I don't have a problem with that." Edward gave me a fleeting smile in thanks. Rosalie just grunted. "Whatever, just as long as he…."

"...stays out of your garage." Edward finished for her. He gave her a smirk and it transformed his face. "I can respect that." Rosalie stared at him for a quick moment, and then a smirk of her own appeared. It may have not looked like much to anyone else, but I knew that it was a big step in smoothing things out between the two.

Alice was the last to answer. She rested her chin on one hand and gently tapped the table-top with the perfectly manicured nails on her other hand. "Is he cute?"

Edward scoffed and the rest of us chuckled. "I don't know…he's…well he's…Jasper. I don't fu---friggen know if he is cute or not." We couldn't help but laugh at him then and Alice joined in. She got that knowing look on her face and just smiled serenely. "He is very handsome and we will all get along great." She said it with absolutely certainty. Edward looked at me, brows raised. "Why does she do that?" I laughed and shook my head. "We don't know, but I wouldn't bet against Alice."

*******************

After breakfast we decided to go ahead and get some homework time in. We let the boys use the workout room and heard them blasting some sort of rap music. It didn't bother us much since we were used to the pounding beats as we worked out as well. It just made my foot tap a lot and my mind kept going over the dance routine for next Saturday. We were working on a few different ideas and the ending to one of them was very tricky…especially for me. There were three smaller girls on the team that were perfect to finish up this one routine with a series of back flips and then fall into the waiting arms of the girls behind them…and I was one of them. My comfort zone centered totally around dancing, and when there were gymnastic-type moves thrown in I tended to let my inner clumsiness out. I wasn't the only one having trouble, but I was the one having the _most _trouble. Alice refused to change the routine, claiming it was perfect and I would learn it in no time.

The dance this weekend was a surprise for Emmett. Somehow, we had to get them to the half-time show because there was no way we were letting our costumes show before then. Alice had been working on the design for a while and came across the idea when she saw Rose coming out of the garage after working on her car all day. I thought the idea was genius and the routine was cute but sexy. Emmett was going to flip out.

My mind wandered away from my calculus homework as I thought about how Edward would react. I hadn't thought so much about a man in a long time…maybe ever. The last relationship I had ended so soon it could hardly be recognized as one. The sad part is that one relationship was the only relationship I ever had. I had resolved myself not to let my guard down to another man, convinced they were all the same. But something happened the night Edward and I ate that late-night dinner together. I now find myself thinking about him more than I would any other roommate, certainly more than Tyler when he lived here.

Was I intrigued by him? Very much so. I wanted to get to know him…the _real_ him. There was something about him that didn't match the stories printed about him, even though he never denied any of those accusations. Where were his parents? Was he an orphan like me? The brief peak in his room tonight showed he had little in the way of personal items. He had an impressive collection of music, however, and I wanted to learn what his preferences were. I had glanced briefly at a framed picture on his nightstand, but it was angled so that I couldn't see who was in it.

Was I attracted to him? I surprised myself by thinking that I was. I could appreciate that he was good looking, as I could with a lot of men. But Edward Cullen physically attracted me, and that was a first for me. My one brief make-out session a few months ago was a disaster and I had written off ever being able to think that way about anyone. My roommates knew about my past so I am sure they didn't even consider that I would be attracted to our new roommate, especially this soon.

Now I didn't know what to do. I felt like my protective barrier had holes punched all through it and Edward was slowly creeping in. I actually wanted to explore where this was going. I could tell myself not to get my hopes up, but I knew that was lost cause already. I found I couldn't wait to see Edward again and slammed my books shut in resolution. Apparently, my roommates heard me shut the book. Rosalie's voice boomed along the hallways. "Can we stop this shit now? I need to move!"

We changed and headed down to the workout room. The music had just cut off and the door opened as we approached it. Emmett came out, cut-off shirt dripping with sweat. He grabbed Rosalie and quieted her protests by kissing her. She pulled back and pushed him away in disgust, "Gross Emmett! Go shower first." He grinned and marched to the stairs. "The room is all yours, ladies!" I wasn't listening to him anymore.

Edward had moved into the doorway…and he wasn't wearing a shirt. His smooth chest was glistening with a fine sheen of sweat and his jogging pants hung loose on his waist, revealing unbelievably beautiful V-shaped muscles along his hip line. I knew I was heading into dangerous territory when I focused on the faint bronze trail of hair leading down to his pant line. Tearing my gaze back up, I was mortified to see a sexy half-grin planted on his face, looking right at me. _Busted!_

My face lit on fire and I turned my eyes to the floor. I felt him move past us and held my breath to keep from falling victim to his addictive scent. No one said anything as he went up the stairs and none of us had moved into the workout room. When I looked at my dance partners, they were looking back at me with wide-eyed shock. Alice was the first to break the trance, waving a hand at her face. "Oh my…."

Rosalie nodded in agreement. Good to know my taste in men was still intact. We walked into the room in a daze and set out some mats. A thought flashed across m mind as I watched Alice stretch. "Hey Alice, are you planning on…" I tried to choose my words carefully as she glanced at me expectantly. "Are you going to…get with Edward?" Rosalie wisely kept quiet, but Alice grinned knowingly at me. "Why? Did you want first dibs?"

I shrugged and leaned over my outstretch legs, keening my answer evasive. "I was just curious. You're single…he supposedly is single too..."

"That you know of" she countered to me. She brought up a good point. I had no idea f he was single or not. I just haven't heard him mention anyone and just assumed that he was not seeing anyone. "But I think he is single." She reassured me. I was waiting for her to answer my question, and she didn't leave me in torture for long.

"Don't worry Bella, I have a craving for blondes."

**There are a lot of good stories up for nominations for Eddie and Bellie awards, so hurry up and vote!**

**www (dot) thecatt (dot) net**

**Sorry if this was boring, but I needed to lay some ground work for the up-and-coming stuff. And for all of you asking about Jasper…he comes back in the next chapter..yay!**

**So now Bella is determined to work through her stuff and get closer to Edward, and Edward is resolving to squash his feelings for Bella and just be friends….dang!**

**You know what to do…keep me happy while my husband is deployed! : )**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own…but I am having fun with it!**

_**Listen to Jessie McCarty's "How do you sleep?" when reading Bella's POV. **_**I usually hate that kind of music but that song is just fun sounding! (link on my profile)**

**Thanks to FF's little FUBAR I am excusing the lack of reviews for the last chapter…but hopefully Jasper can make you want to push that button. (hah, dirty mind…blame it on the cold meds.) : )**

Chapter 5

_**E**_

Practice could have gone worse. At first, it didn't seem like I was going to get anywhere with the guys. When Emmett and I arrived there, I was appreciative that he stood by my side as I addressed the players. Most of them were lounging back, looking at me but not really listening. Some blatantly ignored me, but I expected no less. Newton was predictably pouting over on the side during the whole practice.

I kept my speech short, telling them something vague and to the point. I honestly couldn't remember what the specifics were. I figured my arm could do the talking for now.

The coaches ran us through warm-up exercises and it felt good to tap into the muscle groups I have used in several months. A fine sheen of sweat formed over my face and dripped down my back. The nights were cool, but we were past the point that we needed to wear our sweatshirts. No one but Emmett and the coaches talked directly to me almost the entire time. When passing drills started, I got them at least talking _about _me, if not directly _to _me. One by one, the receivers lined up and I passed the ball to them, letting them get the feel of my throws. I was pleased to see that more than one of them grunted as the ball pounded into their grasp. Clearly, they were not used to any power behind the ball. I wasn't even giving it my full strength…fucking pathetic.

I kept my distaste to myself and did a damn good job at not glaring at Newton over on the sidelines, pouting like a little bitch. Properly impressed by my strength, it was time to show them my accuracy. We ran drills, defensive players running blocking maneuvers while the receivers dodged downfield. Not every pass was perfect, but more and more made it into waiting hands by the end of the drills. The practice ended with more than a few smiles and the optimistic energy was contagious. The difference in how the team came together tonight was easy to see, but I tried not to let it get me too wrapped up. I made the mistake of being over confident in my position on the field before, and it cost me.

I felt a slap on my back as I wiped a towel over my freshly-showered body. "Now _that_ was a good football practice!" Emmett's voiced echoed across the locker room and I heard a few guys voice their agreement in his direction. I couldn't help but smile in return. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but it felt good to be a part of a team again.

"Your pal still coming over tonight?"

I pulled my shirt over my head and shut my locker as I followed him towards the exit. "Yeah, he is meeting us in the parking lot and following us over there, if that's still cool?"

"Sure thing. We have been busting our asses in class all day and with a good practice under our belts I think we need to kick back and chill for a night."

"I couldn't agree more." I had spent every moment between classes cramming in homework and studying. I had switched my major when I came to this university and Chemical Engineering was proving to be as hard as it sounds.

The parking lot to the practice facility was littered with guys on their way home, some of them loitering in groups chatting beside cars. We passed by a few guys and I heard snippets of conversation carry over to me. Most of it was bragging about what cheerleaders had turned into "Ball Bunnies" and who was the most talented. Emmett and I didn't acknowledge them as we walked by, but one voice made us both stop in our tracks. Newton was among the group closest to us and raised his voice as we were passing. "Yeah? Well how many of you have bagged a dancer?" I felt Emmett tense beside me. I didn't like where this was going. The other guys scoffed in disbelief, but Newton continued. "Seriously! You should try it sometime. They are some freaky chicks, let me tell you. That Bella girl…oh man! One little kiss from these lips and she was screaming and flipping out! Apparently, she likes it rough…"

I didn't remember moving towards him, but suddenly Emmett's arms were wrapped around me again, holding me back. This was becoming too much of a habit. The group backed away and Newton pushed off his car, waiting for me to come at him. Emmett's voice was laced with anger. "You better shut your fucking lying mouth, Newton or so help my God I will let him go."

"Go ahead! Let him go. How long do you think it will be before he is out on his ass again?" Mike taunted me through my rage-induced haze. I wanted to kill this mother fucker. I wanted to rip his throat out. Emmett's voice sounded far away. "If you fly off on him, you will get kicked out of the program." I could sense his tension, and knew he wanted to pound on him as much as I did. But his ass is on the line as much as mine was. "So will you," I ground out between clenched teeth.

"But I won't." The voice briefly preceded a fist connecting to Newton's smug face. Emmett dropped his arms in surprise and I stood my ground, thoroughly enjoying the loud _smack_ that Newton made as he hit the pavement. He wasn't unconscious, but he was down for the count. Jasper turned and grinned at us as he shook out his hand. "They can't kick me off any team, and that guy sounds like a prick."

Emmett sauntered up to Jasper and sized up the new guy. "You Edward's friend?"

"Jasper Whitlock." He stuck out his hand and it was enveloped by Emmett's large one. He grinned at the curly-haired blonde in front of him. "Emmett McCarthy…and _you_ are my new best friend."

_**B**_

Alice and Rosalie laughed with me as we moved around the kitchen. I stirred the alfredo sauce while the other girls chopped the vegetables for the salad. It was rare that I allowed them in the kitchen, but the mood was upbeat in the house and I wanted company as I cooked. Music carried in from the living room and we all shook our hips to the beat.

"Oh God! I hate Jesse McCartney…but I love this song!"

I agreed with Rosalie, there was just something catchy about this song. I reached over to turn down the heat and gave a glance to the boiling tortellini. When I turned around I burst out laughing at my roommates. Rosalie was bending over in the refrigerator and her butt was bouncing to the music. Alice twirled into the center of the kitchen with a bowl of lettuce. She set the bowl down and threw her hands over her head and exaggerating her twisting hips. She saw me watching and reached over to grab my hands. "Come on Bella, you know you want to!" I tried protesting but Rosalie had moved next to us and bumped her hips against me, her hair swirling around her face as she twirled.

I gave in to their jovial mood and threw my hands over my head shaking my hips and twisting into hard circles, laughing wildly. My girls bumped against me as we gyrated our hips and shook our shoulders. We only stopped when the door make a loud _bang_ as it flew open. We all jumped and spun to look at the three men crowded into the kitchen entryway. I didn't know about the others, but my face felt like it was on fire. I wonder how long they had been standing there. My eyes immediately shot to Edward, and I was mortified to see a grin on his face, looking directly at me.

Emmett was the first to speak. "By all means, please don't stop on our behalf!" He finished the sentence with a chuckle and Rosalie sauntered up to quiet him with a kiss. A throat cleared and I noticed Edward's friend standing by the door. Alice was right, he was _very_ good looking.

He was built smaller than Edward, but wiry muscles were visible beneath the green t-shirt he wore. He had the look of an angel, dirty-blonde hair curling along the sides of his face. It seemed to be a little longer in the front than the back and dark brown eyes peeked over at us. Edward gestured from him to us. "Jasper, these are my other roommates, Rosalie, Bella and…"

"Alice." The small girl glided over to Jasper and stuck out her hand. Her smile rivaled a thousand candles and his lazy grin complimented it perfectly. He reached for her outstretched hand, but instead of shaking it he brought it to his mouth. After brushing her knuckles with his lips he lowered her hand. "It's a pleasure." His voice had a distinct southern twang to it that I found to be utterly charming. I knew Alice felt that way as well, because the confident pixie blushed…she actually blushed!

Jasper turned towards me, since Rosalie was still sucking face with Emmett. "It's nice to meet you, Bella." I gave him a little wave. "You too. Would you like to join us for dinner? We made plenty."

"Don't let her fool you," Rosalie chimed in, detaching herself from Emmett. "Bella does all the cooking around her. She is just too modest to say so."

"That's not true!" I protested, still blushing. "You guys helped."

Alice reached for the plates and set six places at the table. "I put lettuce in a bowl and Rose grabbed the bottle of ranch out of the fridge." Her voice was teasing and I turned to mix the tortellini with the sauce, waiting for my face to turn back to a normal color.

Only when everyone was seated and served was I able to look back at Edward. He was seated across from me at the far end of the table. I almost dropped my fork when I saw he was staring at me again. We locked eyes for a moment before he dropped his eyes to his plate. "This is great, Bella." His voice was quite, but everyone heard him and nodded in agreement. Jasper looked from me over to Alice. "The salad is very good too." She giggled in response as the rest of us snickered at their obvious infatuation. It was sweet how they ignored us, lost in their own little world. It was obvious that they both had an instantaneous attraction. I had to admit I was a little jealous.

We talked about practice and I was pleased to learn that Edward was finding his place on the team. As Emmett related to the group on his superior passing skills, Edward shook his head modestly, but a smile seemed permanently attached to his face. I couldn't help but smile in return. "I am so glad you are getting along with the team, Edward." I chimed in. He locked eyes with me again and his smile faded slightly. I was confused as he glanced over at Emmett, but at that point Jasper took the attention of the table. "You guys want to hear stories about young-Edward?" He jumped into stories of fort-building, house-egging and a small house fire. Even Rosalie couldn't help but laugh at Jasper's stories. It felt like we had all known each other for a long time, and were just reconnecting after an extensive period apart. We didn't move from the table the entire time, much too distracted to get up. Eventually, the night turned late and more than one person was yawning.

"Well, I am hitting the rack." Emmett stretched and got up from the table, putting his dishes in the sink before grabbing Rosalie's hand. "Will we be seeing you again soon, Jazz?" I smiled at the nickname, and so did Jasper. "Yeah, I would like that. I am playing over at _Volt_ Thursday night. You guys should come and hang out."

"What do you play?" Alice asked in an impressed voice. She was a sucker for a rock-star.

"Guitar, mostly base. The real stud is my man Edward. He can play damn near anything he sets his hands on."

I quickly looked over at the bronze-haired man sitting across me. "You are a musician?" His green eyes locked briefly with mine, but then moved to the table-top as he shrugged. "I used to play a little."

"You guys need to hear him. Try to get him to pick it up again." Jasper needled at Edward's modesty and I was curious as to why Edward was so reserved about the subject.

We all agreed to meet at _Volt_ Thursday night after practice. Jasper started for the door after bidding us a good night. Alice quietly followed him out, offering to give him a ride back to his place and giving me a wink as she left. I shook my head and smiled as I placed my dishes in the sink to rinse. I heard the sound of clinking glasses and a moment later Edward was beside of me. He placed the rest of the dishes in the sink and wordlessly began putting the rinsed ones in the dishwasher. I snuck glances at him as we worked side-by-side, music still flowing through the house.

I cleared my throat and pushed myself to initiate conversation. "So, you didn't mention that you played any instruments." I kept my tone light and teasing, hoping to hear something more about him. I looked to see him grin briefly at me. "You didn't mention you liked to dance to boy-band music in the kitchen." My cheeks flushed a bright red and he chuckled at my embarrassment. I felt my scalp tingle at the sound of his throaty laugh. I added it to my mission of "_Getting to Know Edward_"…. "_Getting_ _Edward to Laugh More_".

"Yeah, well…I was peer pressured. Jasper seems really nice." We finished putting away the dishes and just leaned back against the counter while we talked. He nodded, "Alice seems to agree." That much was obvious.

I crossed my arms and turned my head to him. "Are you majoring in music?" He shook his head slightly and didn't meet my gaze. "No…chemical engineering. I haven't really played anything in a while." His forehead crinkled slightly as he frowned. I personally couldn't see the appeal in that choice of academia. "Why is that? Is one of your parents an engineer?" He seemed to tense even more beside of me and hesitated in his answer. Boy, I was on a role. _Way to win him over, Bella._

"My father was…_is_ a doctor. My mother is an interior designer. I was pre-med in Maryland, but I switched when I came here." His voice was strained and I itched to reach out and touch him. I bit my lip, torn between wanting to drop the obviously difficult subject and prodding for more information. Part of me felt guilty for wanting to get any piece of information I could from this fascinating man. The other part hurt for him, and hoped that I could help in some way…_any_ way.

He sighed and pushed off the counter. I could feel him start to distance himself even before he walked to the door. He turned and gave me a slight smile, but I could tell it was forced. "Thanks for dinner…again. See you tomorrow?" I smiled and nodded and he headed up the stairs. After a few minutes I managed to break myself out of my reverie and moved to turn off the lights. I left the porch light on for Alice…assuming she came back sometime tonight.

Jake wagged his tail a few times in greeting as I walked into my room, but then promptly huffed and fell back asleep across the bed. Most nights I tried to encourage him to lie on the floor, but sometimes I just didn't have the heart to move him. My thoughts were too centered on a certain quarterback to worry about a dog taking up half my bed. Edward seemed to be fitting into our group very well. Whatever his issues were, he wasn't letting it carry over into our house and that in of itself put major points in his favor. But I knew that everyone was still cautious around him, and I hate that it seemed like we were all waiting for him to screw up. I also knew that it was really crazy to feel this strongly about a person I have only known for a few days. I couldn't help but smile as I pondered the mystery of Edward Cullen.

_**E**_

_I am seriously fucking losing it_. I was staring at the ceiling of my new bedroom obsessing over a girl that I should definitely not be thinking about. My foul mood over Newton had overshadowed the successful practice. I was silent as Jasper and Emmett talked in the car on the way to the house. I was thankful that Jasper was a friendly kind of guy, because I was being a shitty friend, leaving him to fend for himself. I had every intention of asking Emmett how much truth there was to that asshole's story about Bella, but I wasn't about to try to ask in front of Jasper. Despite Emmett's statement about him being his new "best friend", I knew that he still had a dark mark being associated with my past.

I was also doing some soul searching of my own. I was coming up with no answers as I examined my reaction to Newton's slandering of my roommate. It was a gut-reaction….he was talking shit about Bella, so I would kill him. It seemed so simple at the time, so automatic…like breathing. I never had that kind of reaction before, not even to the shit-talk that people threw my way…and there were a lot of things worth getting all worked up over. When someone insulted me, it pissed me off. When someone insulted Bella, it threw me over the edge.

My pissed off state lasted exactly as long as it took to get home and walk through the door. The sight that greeted me would be burned into my brain forever.

All three of the girls were dancing to some God-awful pop music blaring from the living room, but all I had eyes for was Bella. Her hair was piled up onto her head in a messy bun, but it was rapidly coming undone with the force of her movements. She had her arms over her head and was twirling her hips around to the beat. Her jeans rode low, but not indecently so. They did a fantastic job of showing off her curves and allowed for a peak of skin to show between the denim and the cotton of her long-sleeved blue shirt. I felt my heart warm at the smile spread across her face. She may be a klutz in most aspects, but when she was dancing…she was an angel.

I felt the smile return to my face as I watched her move. It was so refreshing to be around someone who was care-free…even if they were care-free for only a moment. I forgot all about _what's-his-face_ and his insulting conversation, and focused totally on the enchanting creature in front of me.

It's becoming increasingly difficult to keep her from digging a way into my life. I wanted to hold her at arms length and have a nice, health friendship. I wanted to think of her in the same way I would like about Alice, or like Emmett.

_Yeah fucking right, I definitely don't see Emmett like that_.

I couldn't quit staring at her all through dinner. I smiled just thinking about the shy glances she kept sending my way. My male ego was definitely inflated, but I needed to move onto safer ground. I was in a good place with my roommates, and I knew that getting any closer to Bella was a one-way ticket to curb-ville.

I cringed when I though about how close I was to telling her about my past. She had to suspect something was going on with me and my parents. Hell, anyone would have picked up on that little tid-bit. With just a few words from her, I was turned into a blabbering idiot. It felt wrong to talk about it with someone…it felt even more wrong to walk away from her.

Before I could think about it, I picked up my cell phone and dialed my old home number. The time difference would make it obscenely late to be calling, but I didn't care. After a few rings a soft voice whispered into the phone. "Hello?" My throat tightened and I felt tears pooling in my eyes. I don't think I could have said anything even if I wanted to. The voice continued after my silence, "Hello? Is this…Edward? Are you there?" The tears fell down my cheeks as my mother's voice cracked. When my father's voice rumbled in the background I closed my phone. I automatically swiped the tears away and swiped the memories away. It was pure self-preservation at this point.

I forced my mind to Jazz and his invitation to _Volt_. What would Bella do if I started playing again? Would she like the kind of music I played? Probably not. No one really liked my music anymore. Jazz told me it was depressing and angry as hell, which is saying a lot coming from him. It's not like he was the guy to be writing cheerful, bouncy music. We both did what we wanted, and up until recently I didn't even want to think about touching another musical instrument.

My gaze wandered over to the picture on my bedside. The last song I played was for her funeral. She always begged me to play music, whether on the piano or guitar. I played for her one last time only because she made me promise to do it, and when I was done I burned my guitar and haven't touched a musical instrument since.

_Tanya._

I allowed myself to say her name, at least in my head. The pain that came with it was not unexpected, but the surprising part was that the pain was less than it usually was…not a lot, but the change was noticeable. Testing my emotional limits, I also allowed myself to remember when I sat on a piano bench last; Tanya's smiling, pale face next to mine was as clear to me now as it was that day. My fingers twitched as if reacting to the thought of piano keys. The melody I played that day moved through my head, achingly familiar. But the longer I was absorbed in my memory, the more the melody changed. I heard something new flow through my mind…something that made the smiling girl next to me turn into Bella. Green eyes changed to brown and brown hair replaced the colorful head-scarf. Bella was smiling at me too, but in a different…more intense way. My thoughts slowly changed from a painful memory, to a happy, hopeful wish…something I had not allowed myself to have since before I could remember. For once, the dreams I had were not focused on the pains of my past. Instead I fell asleep with my unconsciousness pushing Bella into my life the only way that was allowed.

**Okay this was the shortest chapter ever, but it didn't make sense to start the next part just yet. I hope you liked it. Poor Edward…but good for him for being protective over Bella! You think Alice likes Jasper? (*snort* **_**does Emmett eat grizzly bears?**_**)**

**So Mike tried to put the moves on Bella…but she freaked out? That's why "Newton" is a four-lettered word in the house.**

**The next chapter will probably pick up when they go see Jasper play. I still haven't decided if Edward will play anything or not. I am still looking for a few more songs but I have some GREAT ones in mind for later. Coming soon: the girls' dance surprise for Emmett and Edward's first game.**

**Thank you so much for your encouragement…and YOU know who you are! ; )**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: twilight does not belong to me…if I repeat it often enough it might sink in. : (**

**Just FYI, I have posted song links for what I have referenced to in this story on my profile. **

**I am going to lie in the story and say that Edward and Jasper have written their own songs, but they really belong to other people, but just use your imagination!**

**Oh, and if you are like me and HATED the way Jasper looked in the movie…look at my profile to see how I picture him for this story (and every other story to be honest).**

**If the links to the songs aren't working, I can't find them anywhere else, so if you can't hear them and REALLY want to know what they sound like then PM me and we will work something out via email.**

**I am hoping this chapter will be a good one for you…and it will get me some serious review numbers….cause I haven't even cleared 100 yet…makes me sad : (**

Chapter 6

_**B**_

**Jasper's song: "Disease" (acoustic) Matchbox20**

The bar was mostly smoke-free, which was amazing in of itself for a "Thirsty Thursday" night. _Volt_ was filling up quick, but Alice dragged us to an empty table near the stage. All we had heard from her since Monday night (when she _finally_ decided to come home) was how "sweet Jasper is" or how she had "found her soul mate". Honestly, Rosalie and I weren't that surprised. Alice was an all-or-nothing girl in most aspects of her life, why not love?

Jasper hadn't come back to the house since then, but he and Alice had gone out to dinner once during the week. Every time the phone rang, she practically ran everyone down answering it as fast as possible. It was incredibly cute, and I was happy for her.

My own object of infatuation was as busy as I was, apparently. I hadn't seen him but for a few brief moments since Monday, and when I did things seemed a little more tense than usual between us. I was pretty sure he regretted opening up to me that night in the kitchen, even if it was just a little. I couldn't really blame him. It's not like I have been real forthcoming with my past.

I still haven't let any of my friends know how attracted I was to Edward. I still couldn't believe it myself. There had never been a guy like him before. Alice and Rose have periodically tried to set me up in the past, most recently with Mike Newton. It always ended in disaster. Just because I was a dancer, people thought that made me outgoing and bubbly. Not so much.

One-on-one with a guy, I was a mess. I was extremely withdrawn and I knew it, and the more I thought about how unbearably shy I was being, the more I panicked I became and I retreated into myself. If was lucky, I was able to tell a guy my name and form one good complete sentence. God forbid they actually try to kiss me; I turned into a complete basket case. Years of therapy had led me to one skill…hiding how I felt. As long as the right people thought that I was properly adjusted, then I could go back into my comfort zone. Up until recently, my comfort zone included school, dance and my small circle of friends.

Tonight I was searching for something out of my comfort zone, but something I had no intention of cowering away from. Edward had come to _Volt _with Jasper earlier to help him set up and said he would join us later. Alice gave me a sly look when she purposely left the seat to my right empty for him, but I chose to ignore her. I just wish the blush on my face didn't give me away so easily. Thankfully, Emmett is blissful in his ignorance, because I knew if he even had a clue to how I felt he would freak out.

The lights were low already and the noise was almost deafening. The stage was illuminated by soft white lights and there were shadows of figures moving at the back. I tried my best to not try to see if Edward was one of those people, but I couldn't help it. When the waitress came to get our drink orders, Rose had to kick me under the table to get my attention. I shrieked out "Diet Pepsi" in surprise at an inhuman level that had the entire table shocked. My face reddened even further and I sunk back into my seat, looking down at the table. I didn't look up again until the seat next to mine became occupied. I automatically had a smile on my face as I greeted the man next to me, but my smile faded when I saw who it was. Mike Newton.

"Hey Bella, long time no see!" He was grinning at me eagerly, and I was too shocked to say anything back. Someone had given him one hell of a shiner, and the way he kept glancing across the table had me turning to look at Emmett. He had not noticed Mike sitting next to me until Rosalie nudged him and pointed. When he turned, a dark cloud passed over his naturally happy face. Emmett rose out of his seat, his gaze locked on Mike. "Newton, walk away." His voice was quiet, but menacing. Mike stood as well, "Hey man, I am just catching up with my girl…"

"She is _not_ your girl." A velvety voice cut through the noise of the club from behind me. I turned, although I knew who would be standing there. Edward's face was shadowed with rage, his green eyes narrowed into angry slits focused on Mike. Muscled arms were folded over a well-formed chest hidden by a black t-shirt. His jeans were hanging perfectly on his lean hips…and I then realized I was staring wide-eyed at him. Once again, the blush reappeared, but luckily Edward did not notice. He was too busy giving a death glare at his teammate. The blonde nuisance was not taking a hint.

"We already know you and McCarty can't touch me or you are off the team, Cullen."

I looked from Mike's smug face to Edward's. A muscle twitched in his faintly-stubble covered cheek. A small spark of realization came over me. _He knew._ I felt my stomach flip over as I thought this. I couldn't look at him anymore. My shoulders slumped and I let my hair fall around my face. I wish I could sink under the table and hide from Mike and his pestering and Edward's pity. This was a completely brutal reminder that I was damaged goods. I have one guy behind me who avoids me at home and the other guy beside me is the only one I have ever kissed….with disastrous results.

Much to my disbelief, Edward continued to defend me. "Well we already know that Emmett and I aren't the only ones in this room you need to be worried about." I peaked to see who he was talking about and saw him nod in the direction of the stage. Jasper was coming out into the light holding an acoustic guitar. He searched the cheering crowd until he saw our table. Alice glanced from Mike's bruised face to Jasper, and her eyes widened slightly. I caught onto what she was thinking. _Jasper_ _hit Mike?_ I couldn't believe it at first. Why in the world would he hit Mike? My doubts on that went away when I saw Jasper's expression change. He saw Alice first and gave her a crooked smile and lifted a hand in greeting. He must have seen the stress on her face and then found the source of that stress. He and Mike locked gazes and Jasper started walking towards our table, hands clenched. I jumped slightly as Mike vaulted out of his seat…and out of the club.

I blinked a few times, stunned at the turn of events. Mike is scared of Jasper, because Jasper hit Mike. Jasper is a friend of Edward…. "Oh God," I whispered to myself. _Jasper knows too?_ I knew I was pale because I physically felt the blood leave my face. My mortification knew no bounds tonight.

The seat beside of me was occupied again, but this time by Edward. I felt his gaze on me, the whole table's gaze on me. I peeked up and saw Emmett was now seated, but he joined everyone else in giving me a concerned, pitied look. I tried to recover what dignity I had left. "I'm fine guys. Let's just watch Jasper." They took the hint and turned their attention to the stage, but I knew none of them bought my reassurances. I turned and caught Edward still looking at me. There was concern on his features as well, but no pity unlike the rest of the group. He looked more…frustrated than anything. He looked like he was waiting for something, and I gave him a small smile. "Thanks for helping out with him." I kept my voice low, but he seemed to have heard me above the chatter of the crowd. He gave me a nod. "Has Newton been bothering you for long?"

I shrugged. "Not really. It's just really awkward when we are in the same place together, you know?" I didn't want to rehash the details with him again, since he probably got the sordid details from someone else already. I didn't think Emmett would say anything without my permission, but there were plenty of other guys on the team that had no allegiances to me. However, Edward looked even more puzzled than before. "No, I really don't know. Did you guys use to date or something?"

It was my turn to look puzzled. Was he just pretending to be ignorant? Or…

"You don't know what happened with Mike?" I asked incredulously. Edward's eyes shifted to the waitress as she returned with our drinks. The blonde girl took an extra moment to give Edward an appreciative once-over and ask him if he needed anything. He smiled up at her, and I felt a pang of jealousy rip through me. His smile was entrancing, and I envied the waitress on the receiving end of it. He pushed the glass of Diet Pepsi I had ordered closer to me and then asked for the same thing. I tried to ignore the relief that I felt when she finally left the table. He gestured to my soda. "You should get some sugar in your system. You still look kind of pale." I automatically reached for the drink and took a long sip…and almost choked as he leaned closer to me.

"Look, I don't know what the deal is with you and Newton, but he is an asshole and he obviously makes you uncomfortable."

"But…did Jasper hit him?" Edward hesitated before giving me a nod. I looked up at the man in question and saw he was now sitting on a stool near a microphone, adjusting his guitar. I knew he was about to start so I leaned closer to Edward to keep my voice lower. "Why? Does he know….what happened?"

Edward was very close to me now, and I had a hard time focusing when his eyes became slightly hooded and his lips parted slightly. For the first time in my life, I found someone to be utterly…..sexy.

"Jasper only knows what I know, that Newton needs to shut his mouth and he deserved to get beat on. He was just kind enough to step in when Emmett and I couldn't." I winced slightly. "Mike was talking about me again?" Edward hesitated, and I knew what the answer was before he spoke. "Don't worry about what he says. Like I said, he's an asshole."

I turned back to the stage as Jasper strummed a few chords on the guitar and leaned towards the microphone. His southern accent was in full play as he addressed the audience. "Hey everyone. My name is Jasper, and this song was written a long time ago by me and a good friend of mine." He gave a man-nod over to Edward, who returned it with a grin. Before Jasper could start and before I lost my nerve, I leaned once more to Edward. "I appreciate what you have done for me. You didn't have to do that. Can we talk tonight? I want to explain some things." My palms felt sweaty as he turned to me with an almost disapproving glare. "You don't have to explain anything to me….or anyone else."

I bit my lip. "But I think…I want to. If you want to listen, but if you…"

"I'll listen." He saved me from babbling. "We'll talk later."

I released a small breath, partially in relief and partially in nervousness. I never felt comfortable opening up to people. It was hard enough telling my roommates about Mike when it happened, but I felt like the least I could do is explain to Edward why Mike was acting the way he was.

As the chords flowed from Jasper's guitar, I turned my attention to the show. I became entranced as he started singing. He had one heck of a voice! It sounded throaty, like the blues, but with a hint of a rock beat and of course a little southern twang on some of the words.

"_Feels like you made a mistake. You made somebody's heart break…"_

I turned to see Alice grinning from ear to ear, totally transfixed by his performance. I couldn't help but smile when I watched her bob her head slightly to the beat.

"_I've got a disease deep inside me, makes me feel uneasy baby. I can't live without you, tell me what I am supposed to do about it…"_

Rosalie let out a little cheer and Emmett tapped his drink on the table in appreciation. The crowd echoed their sentiments. He was clearly a regular and he knew how to work a crowd with his charming smile and unruly hair. But that smile was turned full-force on a certain pixie girl in a dark red halter top in the front row.

"_You taste like honey, Honey, tell me can I be your honey?"_

Alice cheered and winked at him and I laughed in response. Looking over at Edward I saw him smiling as well, but when our eyes met he gave a dramatic eye roll. That just caused me to laugh some more. Later, I would allow myself to freak out about bearing a small part of my life to such a fascinating creature, but for now I surrounded myself with the love of my friends and the excitement of the atmosphere.

Jasper ran his fingers down the guitar strings one last time, finishing his song and the club erupted into applause. Our whole table was on our feet clapping and yelling. Jasper said his thanks and smiled at the crowd. As the cheers started to die down I looked back to Edward. "You helped write that song?" He shrugged, but kept his smile. "Maybe a little." I knew he was being modest.

"That's a great song, Edward. I would love to hear some more of your work sometime." Edward's smile died down a little but Jasper's voice cut through the club before he could respond. "Alright folks, I need your help with something. I am trying to get my pal Edward up here and play something for you guys, but you might have to convince him to do it." He looked over at Edward and held out his guitar. "C'mon Ed, give it a try." I watched as a thunderous look cross Edward's face and he mouthed a silent "Fuck you" to Jasper. That didn't deter Jasper any and he gestured for the crowd to join in his persuasion. The club started cheering and clapping and calling out Edward's name. I felt extremely bad for him in that moment, but the selfish part of me desperately wanted to hear him play.

Emmett reached behind me to slap Edward on the back. "Yeah Ed! Let's hear what you got!" Rosalie and Alice joined in the pleading, but he only glanced at them before focusing on me. It was like he was waiting for a signal from me, and I wasn't sure what the right one would be so I just turned his own words back on him.

"You don't owe anyone an explanation." I hope he understood what I was trying to tell him. While he shouldn't have to do anything he didn't want to, I knew from personal experience that ignoring things will not make them go away. His jaw clenched slightly and he stared at me for a long moment, ignoring the noise off the club. Finally, he stood and pushed away from the table. I could feel the tension radiating from him as he moved away and walked up to the stage.

_**E **_

_**Edward's Song: "Hear You Me" Jimmy Eat World.**_

I couldn't believe I was doing this shit. In the back of my mind, I knew I would be getting up on that stage the moment I walked into that club. Jasper had been hinting at me playing over and over again until I wanted to smack the little shit around. But instead I kept quiet and secretly enjoyed the feeling of the instruments in my hand as I helped Jasper set up for the night. It was so familiar…like coming home. The temptation was already there, I was just fighting a losing battle.

The little altercation with Newton put my walls back in place real quick. It was another one of my damn gut-reactions, defending Bella like that. I saw Newton take the seat next to her, the seat that was _obviously_ meant for me…._mother fucker_. It was clear to everyone at the table that Bella did not want him there. When I saw Emmett stand up to take out the garbage, I did what came natural…I stood protectively behind Bella.

It was just fucking stupid for me to try to deny that there was something about this small girl that made me want to keep her safe from the likes of Newton. I felt very…protective of her. I would say I felt for her they way I would a sister, but that would be a crock of shit. The feelings I had towards her were anything but brotherly.

After Newton took his leave, Bella had seemed seriously shaken up, and that piqued my curiosity about the whole situation even more. The waitress brought her a soda, and I thought I had never seen anybody who could have used one more. Her normally light skin was deathly pale, and she looked at me like she was ashamed of something. A glance at the waitress who was waiting for my drink order showed a familiar face. _Aw, hell_. It was that same waitress from my first night here….the one I never called. I smiled as politely as possible and tried not to show anymore encouragement than necessary. _Just a tad awkward_.

After Bella took a sip of her soda, she began to act flustered and apologetic, and I realized she thought I knew about whatever happened between her and Newton. I was more than eager to hear more, but I was the last one to pressure someone into spilling their guts. She seemed like she wanted to tell me about the back story of her and that tool, and despite my resolution to remain detached from Bella…and I had been working my ass off to stay detached all week…I had to learn more about her.

When Jasper called me out in front of the whole damn club, I was righteously pissed off. I had to admit, Bella's praise at my help writing the song Jasper was playing made me feel pretty damn good about my music….better than I have felt in years. The crowd cheering me on bent my wavering resolve, but Bella's words set me free. I didn't owe anyone an explanation…just myself.

I felt like I was in a dream, or maybe a nightmare, as I stepped up and took the guitar from Jasper's hands. The wood was still warm from where he played. He leaned towards me, "This will be good, man. What are you going to play?" When I told him the name of the song, my voice sounded wooden…distant. He pulled back and looked at me warily. "Are you sure you want to play that?" I managed only to nod. It was the last song I had played, and one I had heard in my head almost daily since then. It was the only thing I could probably physically play in this moment. "You want me to do base? I got a guy who could follow the beat on the drums decently too." Again…a nod was all that occurred, and then he was off getting his base guitar and speaking to a dark-haired guy in the back…the drummer I presume.

I kept my eyes on my fingers as I sat at the stool once occupied by my peer-pressuring dickhead of a friend. I took a few practice strums, feeling like I was taking the first stretch after a very long sleep as they curled around the arm. A ran through a few chords, although I could have played this song in my sleep. I had written it years ago, by request. And I played it in front of a crowd, only once…by a last request. Tonight, I was pretty sure I was just punishing myself at my own request.

When I looked up to the crowd, I immediately locked onto Bella. She looked so damn beautiful. Her simple pink t-shirt and dark jeans outfit showed off all the right curves and still remained modest. Her face was full of encouragement, excitement. I swallowed reflexively and focused on her face, which was surrounded by waves of her long, dark hair. I was pretty sure she was the only thing keeping me anchored at this point. The club had gone quiet after I sat down, and everyone was waiting for me to sing, play…say something…anything. I could have started by introducing myself like Jasper, but I was not there for recognition. I was there to test my limits.

I blinked once and turned my eyes to the guitar. Jasper played a few notes on the base guitar, signaling he was ready. When the silence of the club became strained, I finally let my fingers fly.

Jasper and whoever the other guy was joined in a few beats later. Jazz knew this song, helped me practice it. The other guy was winging it, and it wasn't what I wrote for the song but it would do. The notes brought back a flood of memories.

"_There's no one in town I know. But you gave us someplace to go. I never said thank you for that, thought I might get one more chance."_

My voice was stronger than I thought it would be, and while my eyes were solidly fixed on Bella, my mind was in the past. I wasn't up on a stage in a local college bar. I wasn't surrounded by beer and cigarette smoke. I was next to a coffin, and I was surrounded by black.

"…_now I'll never have a chance. May angels lead you in. Hear you me, my friends. On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in."_

There was no Bella, no college-aged audience. There were only mourners, tearful faces staring up at me. My mother and father were there, staring at me with a mixture of pain and pride. They told me later how brave it was of me to sing that day. My strength lasted just as long as it took to lay her in the ground.

"_So what would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud. I never said thank you for that. Now I'll never have a chance. May angels lead you in…"_

I looked back down at the guitar for a moment, and when I looked back up, _she _was there. _Tanya_. She was sitting directly in front of the stage. Her smile was as bright as I remembered. Her long strawberry blonde hair curled over her shoulders in waves. Not a wig…her own beautiful hair. She wasn't sick looking in a hospital gown like she was for her last, agonizing days. No, she was wearing a flowing white dress and health radiated from her. My fingers were moving over the strings automatically as the song moved into the bridge. My voice froze in my chest and I found myself unable to even breathe. I didn't blink until the sheen of tears clouded over my vision. When I opened them again, she was gone. I scanned the bar quickly, but I knew I wouldn't find her again. Instead, my eyes landed on Bella. Her face was etched with concern and she was slowly rising out of her chair. I realized that the agony I felt inside must be mirrored on my face.

I had tested myself…and I had met my limit.

While Jasper was still playing, waiting for me to pick back up I let my instincts take over. I set the guitar down as gently as I could in my frenzied state and practically ran off the stage. I could hear the whispers and questions following me, but I could give a shit less anymore. Faces were blurred as I pushed my way out into the night. I was just aware of myself enough to hold in the tears until I got a few blocks away. When it was just me and my memories…I let the agony overcome me.

_**B**_

I ignored my friend's pleas for me to wait for them and ran out of _Volt_. The look on Edward's face was burned into my brain and I couldn't think about anything but getting to him. If I was enchanted by Jasper's voice, it was nothing compared to the effect Edward's had on me. He was greatly downplaying his musical abilities and I was excited to see him doing something that had obviously meant a lot to him at one time. He looked nervous, of course, but after he started playing I thought he would relax. He had nothing to worry about; the whole club was at his feet by the first verse….including me. From the moment he started playing, he locked eyes with me. I gave him the most encouraging look I could and tried not to let myself get too flustered under his gaze. He only looked away for brief moments…always coming back to me.

The song was hauntingly beautiful. I knew it had to have come from a deeply emotional place. I didn't realize just how emotional until after he played for a few minutes. All of the sudden, he got this shocked look on his face and his eyes seemed far away. My heart started pounding and a feeling of dread came over me. His face seemed to drain of all color, and when his eyes started to look misty I got to my feet. He blinked and glanced back over to me….and then he froze. From the way the crowd started murmuring, I knew they had noticed he was no longer keeping up with the song. A moment later, his fingers stopped strumming the guitar. He quietly set the instrument down and dashed off the stage. I hesitated only briefly before pushing away from the table and going after him.

By the time I pushed my way through the confused crowd and out the club doors, Edward was no where to be seen. I didn't know where he frequented, other than the house, but I doubt that was where he was heading. I looked back and forth down the street where I stood until the bright lights over the treetops caught my eye.

_Of course…the stadium._

There was no practice or game tonight, but they kept the lights on to check them and do routine maintenance on the field. If Edward was going anywhere, I was betting it was there. I took a chance and started jogging towards the lights.

************************

It wasn't hard to get in the stadium…if you knew all the right secret entrances. I had spent enough time in this facility to know how to get in undetected, and I am betting Edward figured it out fairly quickly as well. I moved along the dark walkways of the concession areas. It always seemed so unsettling to be in this usually busy and lively area when it was closed down. I had no idea where Edward would be in the stadium, but I am guessing it was an area that was fairly secluded. I climbed the stairs leading to the upper level seating area and the press boxes.

There were three press seating area's in the stadium, all on one side. I tested the door on the first one and found it locked. When I moved to the second one, the knob turned easily in my hands. I didn't even want to know how he managed that.

The box was illuminated softly by the glow of the stadium lights, but the room lights were left off. There were only so many places to sit in that small room, and Edward was in the middle of the front row. His back was to me and I felt my stomach twist painfully as I saw his position. His head was bowed into his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. I couldn't hear any noises coming from him, but I could feel his emotions pouring through the room just as easily as I did when he was singing. For a moment, I felt like an intruder. Doubt weighed heavily on me. Who was I to come offer comfort? Someone as screwed up as me was in no position to offer any advice.

I had talked myself into turning around and leaving, and then I tripped over thin air and stumble into the door, closing it with a loud _bang_. I heard Edward curse in surprise and I steadied myself, turning to face him. His face reflected surprise for a moment, then anger. "What are you doing here, Bella?" His voice was raw, and my own throat squeezed in sympathy. I shook myself, knowing he was waiting for me to say something. "I thought you might be here. I thought you might need a friend..." I trailed off, feeling lame. He turned back to stare out the press box and onto the brightly lit field. He scoffed. "Friend….right." I took a few hesitant steps towards him. When I came into his line of vision, I took another chance. "May I sit?" I gestured to the empty seat next to him, and he shrugged in response. I sat stiffly next to him, not sure about the next step. "The song was beautiful." I winced when I said that. He probably didn't want to be reminded of that right away.

He shrugged again, back to "quiet Edward". I tried not to get too discouraged. While I struggled to come up with something else to say, his low voice cut into the silence. "That was the last song I played…I haven't played any song in more than a year." I bit my lip, trying to be patient and wait for him to continue if he wanted to. He didn't look at me, just stared straight ahead. He ran a hand through his bronze hair and then put his head back in his hands, staring at the floor. "I wrote that song for my sister, because she asked me to. She asked me to write a song for her…and then play it at her funeral."

I bit back a gasp. I knew that he sang from somewhere powerfully emotional, but I had no idea it was this. Thinking back to the haunting melody I could clearly see it being played for someone special, someone he had lost. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to play it then…or now. "Why did you choose to play that song tonight?" I kept my voice low, almost a whisper, not wanting to break his fragile hold on his emotions.

He sat back then and finally looked over at me. It was just for a moment, but I reveled in it none-the-less. "I hear that song in my head, all the time. It feels like it's always on the edge of bursting out of me. I hadn't planned on playing anything tonight, but when Jazz asked what I wanted to play, it's the only thing I could think of."

I knew I was pushing him, but I couldn't keep the questions back. "Is she the reason you don't play anymore?"

"She always wanted me to play. It didn't matter if it was the piano or the guitar or a fucking kazoo…she just begged me to play anything. When she was smaller it would drive me insane. She followed me around all the time, bugging me." He paused, taking a deep breath. "When she got sick, I played for her whatever and whenever she asked. It didn't matter where I was or how late it was. I would do anything to see her smile."

He didn't answer my question directly, but I got so much more than I bargained for. I felt the tears come to my eyes in sympathy. This explained so much of why Edward acted the way he did. I had many more questions. Where were his parents? What _really_ happened at his last school? I had a feeling his sister's death had a bigger impact on him than just his music career.

Neither of us talked at that point. We both looked out onto the green field below. Most of the working crew was moving out of the stadium and a few lights were shut down. The room dimmed even more, but we didn't leave. Several minutes passed by in contemplative silence. Edward was done talking, and I was not going to be the one to make him hurt anymore tonight.

I saw his hand lying on his jean-clad thigh. His fingers were long and graceful, the markings of a good musician and a good quarterback. I saw my own hand reaching for his before I even realized I had moved it. I settled my palm on top of his hand, resting it lightly on his skin, waiting for his reaction. My own heart was pounding in my chest and a familiar anxiety trickled into me. I pushed it aside the best I could, focusing my senses on Edward.

When our skin made contact, he twitched his hand slightly. After an agonizing moment, he turned his hand over, connected our palms and intertwining our fingers. His skin was cool against mine, but his grip was strong. I took a chance to look up at his face, and my breath caught when I realized he was staring intently at me. His eyes were rimmed in red and still had a shine to them, but the green seemed to be intensified. Maybe it was our close proximity, but his eyes seemed darker than ever before.

He took his free hand and reached for my face, keeping his eyes locked with mine as he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. His hand moved from my hair and lightly trailed down my jaw before stopping. His eyes flickered briefly to my parted lips and I licked them in response. His gorgeous eyes become obscured by partially closed lids as he leaned towards me. His hand cradled my face gently and I closed my eyes in reaction to the overwhelming sensations flowing through me.

That was my mistake.

The intensity of my anxiety overpowered me when my eyes closed, and the moment his wonderfully warm lips brushed against mine I gasped and pulled away. He released my hand immediately and his eyes widened in shock. I felt my face flame in response and gasped out an apology. Thankfully, he didn't look freaked out by my reaction, but frustrated. He ran a hand through his hair again, making it even more disheveled. If I wasn't having a minor panic attack, I might have smiled in endearment.

He sighed. "Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who should apologize." He looked back at me, and I slowly calmed my breathing down to a reasonable speed. "Are you alright?" I managed to nod, grateful I was sitting. He swore under his breath, stood and walked over to the window. He put his hands on the window pane and leaned on it. The only sound in the room was my heavy heartbeat…or at least that was the only sound I could hear. He didn't turn to me as he spoke. "I overstepped my boundaries, Bella….and for that I am sorry. You were just showing me a little fucking kindness and I took advantage of that…"

"No." I managed to keep my voice fairly steady. "You didn't do anything I didn't want you to." He turned his head to look at me then, a questioning expression on his face. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. "I haven't really kissed many guys before. In fact…the only other guy was Mike Newton."

That got his attention. He turned around to face me, leaning against the window with his arms folded across his chest. He was letting me know he was listening to me now…the way I listened to him earlier.

I swallowed thickly and tried not to hide my face as I spoke. "Mike and I went out a few times. He was the perfect gentleman at the time, never making me feel uncomfortable. After our third date, he walked me back to the house. When he leaned in to kiss me, I didn't think anything of it. Nothing happened at first, but when he kept kissing me, I started to panic."

Edward interrupted me, speaking in a harsh, clipped sentence. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. _No…not him._ "I have a…dark…past." I fumbled with my words, not ready to reveal everything tonight. _One step at a time_. "I don't really do well with men. When Mike kissed me, I freaked out and had some sort of panic attack. He never called me back after that night, and the next thing I knew, the entire team heard about my little meltdown." I let a trace of bitterness creep into my voice, but then tried to make it a little lighter. "So, its not you….I am the one who is messed up."

"Don't you dare say that about yourself." My eyes shot up to meet his. They were narrowed in anger, his voice matching his expression. Edward pushed off the window and squatted down in front of me. He kept his movements slow and deliberate, like he was doing everything not to scare me. His expressions softened as we looked at each other and he slowly reached a hand out to me, holding in the air with his palm up. He waited for me to make the next move, not wanting to touch me without my permission. I have never felt so grateful for such a gesture and I didn't hesitate to place my palm into his. His hand clenched gently around mine. "You are not messed up, Bella. You have obviously been dealt a shitty hand, and you are dealing with it the best you can. Some stuff takes a long time to deal with, and if Newton doesn't see that you are worth the wait then he is a bigger asshole than I thought."

I ducked my head slightly, flustered by his words. A warm heat was radiating through me from our joined hands. He didn't reach for my face again this time, but ducked his own head so he was in my line of vision again. I smiled slightly at him. "Thank you, Edward." He gave me a small smirk in return. "How am I doing at this whole 'friend' thing?" I gave a little giggle. "Not bad, I think there is hope for you yet." He looked at me for a moment, the intensity returned. "I hope you are right about that," he murmured. Before I could get too lost in his eyes, he stood lithely and pulled me up to my feet as well. It didn't escape my notice that he didn't release our hands after we both stood. "Well, I guess we better head out of here. Is there someone waiting for us with a car?" He talked as we slowly walked to the door.

"Umm, not that I know of. I don't think anyone followed me here." I stopped in my tracks when he turned his narrowed gaze on me. "You mean you walked here in the dark…alone?" I nodded, recognizing the disapproving tone. Emmett gives me the same guilt trip when he finds out I walk anywhere by myself at night. Edward shook his head slightly. "Promise me you won't do that again." He didn't look away from me, waiting for my answer. I rolled my eyes slightly, but understood why he was concerned. "I promise I won't go running off into the dark again, if you promise you will come to me if you need to talk, and not to an empty press box." He regarded me for a second and then nodded. "Deal." We walked hand-in-hand down the dark concession walkway, which didn't seem so scary with Edward beside of me. "Oh, and Bella?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he continued. "Can we keep this between us?" I moved to quickly reassure him. "Of course! I would never tell anyone what you told me, just like I know you will do the same for me."

Edward gave me a small smile. "Its nice to have someone trust me again. But I was also kind of talking about….the kiss." I flushed in remembrance. I may have panicked, but I still enjoyed his brief kiss immensely. "You see, Emmett has threatened bodily harm to me if I tried to put the moves on you. So if we could not mention that I tried to make-out with you…that would be great."

Despite my incredulity at Emmett's over protectiveness, I couldn't help but laugh. Edward smiled brightly with me and we continued on our way home.

**Okay, so did that deserve a whole lot of reviews? We got Edward and Jasper singing…sexy! We got Edward and Bella opening up to each other…awwwww. We got their first kiss….sort of. And now they are getting close! YAY! So its not going to be all sunshine and daisies, but it's a small step in the right direction. They have more stuff that waits to be revealed in later chapters and the angst is no where near done…but hopefully this was a good….AND LONG…chapter. I worked ALL day on it…show some love.**

**Again, check out my profile for pictures and song links.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The usual.**

Chapter 7

_**B**_

It was no surprise that the whole house was waiting for us when we walked back home. Sometime along the way we stopped holding hands, and while I missed the contact I was glad we were not caught by our over-inquisitive roommates. When we saw the house lights blazing, Edward chickened out and held the door open for me to walk through first. "After you," he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at him and stepped into the make-shift interrogation room.

Alice jumped up from her spot on Jasper's lap and tackled me in a bone-crushing hug. "Isabella Marie Swan! How dare you run off into the dark by yourself? You nearly gave us a heart attack when we couldn't find you!" I returned her hug until she calmed down a bit. "Alice, I am sorry I worried you, but Edward walked me back. As you can see, we are fine." Alice let me go and stood back to look me over. When she was satisfied I was not lying, she turned her attention to Edward…and then back to me. A suspicious smile crept across her face. I cleared my throat and gave an apology to the rest of the group, who was still seated at the table. Rosalie rolled her eyes, "I wasn't worried, I know you are tougher than you look." Alice shot her a look and she shrugged. "Okay, so maybe I was a _little_ worried."

Emmett was glaring at me and not saying anything. I shifted uncomfortably under his stare, having a hard time meeting his eyes. I felt guilty for worrying them, but I was becoming extremely embarrassed at their public chastisement. When Emmett finally spoke, I couldn't decide if I wanted to scream at him or bawl my eyes out.

"Bells, you scared the shit out of me…and that is not an easy thing to do. I was two seconds from tearing this city apart to look for you." His voice was low and steady, making it worse than if he yelled. Torn in my emotions I turned my head away from Edward and let a single tear fall down my heated cheek. My throat closed to the point that speaking was impossible.

Edward did the speaking for me.

"What the hell is _your_ problem?" Edward's voice was raised and directed to all of our roommates. "She's fine! She doesn't need you scolding her like a goddamn baby! Be glad she is safe and shut the fuck up!"

I was too shocked to do anything but look up at his profile. His jaw was tight and his eyes narrowed. He didn't turn to me, but I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye. I knew he was taking a huge risk standing up to my roommates…and he did it for me.

Emmett sat forward and put one large hand on the table and pointed the other at Edward. "Watch it, Cullen. You don't know the first thing about Bella and what she has been through…"

"Stop it!" I shrieked. The last thing I wanted was Emmett giving the "Bella sob-story" to Edward here in the kitchen. "Edward is right. I am _not_ a child! Yes, no one should walk alone at night but I did…get over it! You are not my father!" I glared at Emmett before turning to Alice and Rosalie. "And you are not my mother." I couldn't look at their faces, or Edward's, as I stomped less-than-gracefully out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I tripped over the last step and landed on my knee. After hobbling the rest of the way back to my room I was grateful that the outfits we were wearing Saturday wouldn't show the bruise already forming on my knee.

Jake greeted me with a happy-dance and slobbering kisses. "Well at least someone isn't mad at me." I scratched his ears thoughtfully, sitting on the edge of my bed. My hands were still shaking from all the emotions I had running through me. I knew that I should probably try to smooth things over with everyone, but I felt the need to be angry for a while. I was getting tired of being "sweet little easy-going Bella". I couldn't believe that Edward stuck up for me. My roommates would protect me to the death, but they also didn't realize how much their concern weighed on me sometimes.

I sighed and walked over to my desk, slumping into the seat and burrowing my face into my hands. The tears were threatening to overtake me and I was fighting them back with everything I had. I hadn't really cried in a long time, and I knew if I started now I would never stop. I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at the picture of me and my mother. _You are not my mother._ I felt a pang of guilt stab through me. No, they weren't my mother, but they were my sisters, even if not by blood. I knew that we would be okay, but I needed a little time before I went down that road.

I didn't realize I was twirling a pen in my hand until I dropped it on the desk. My hand was hovering over my open notebook, the page blank. I picked the pen back up and held it over the paper. My thoughts turned from my long-time friends to my new one. Edward's pain and sadness were so overwhelming, but so familiar. It was different for me to experience these emotions from an outsider's perspective. I have been consumed by my own grief before, but to hear it from someone who was so hardened, so guarded…it pushed my own internal battle away for a time and opened up new feelings. I never thought I would be able to talk to him so freely, but after telling him my experience with Mike, I felt…different than I did when I talked to Alice, Rose or even my long-forgotten court appointed therapist. He listened…and he knew of my pain. It may not be the same as his pain, but it is deep-seeded pain none-the-less. He didn't give me empty promises that how I feel would fade or I would "get over it". He made it seem like I wasn't the one with the problem for once.

I leaned forward and began writing. I was only half-focused on what the actual words were, but instead I let myself just feel. I didn't focus on how I felt in the past, but instead how I felt tonight…with Edward. I had written stories before, but this was different. I needed to get my feelings on paper the best I could. I kept writing even as I heard the rest of the house settle down for the night, and I only stopped when my eyes couldn't stay open anymore. Sleep didn't come easy. I hadn't felt this excited about writing anything before and I couldn't wait to keep writing and to explore some more with Edward.

******************************

Ugh, I was such a coward.

I peeked out my window as Alice, Rosalie and Emmett pulled out of the driveway in Emmett's jeep. I had planned on getting to the library for a little study time before class, but I couldn't bring myself to go downstairs to face them just yet. I was still a little angry, but I knew once I saw them it would be a big mess of "I'm sorry" and tears from both sides. That's how we roll in this house…we don't stay mad.

I had just finished closing my backpack when a knock sounded at my bedroom door. I knew it could only be one person, and my heart skipped a beat in response. Jake gave a soft _woof_ and stood anxiously by the door, shifting from paw-to-paw. I felt bad for keeping him up here with me in my cowardice. When I cracked open the door, Jake shoved through the gap and barreled down the hallway. The door swung back and hit my toe and I cursed in response and grabbed the throbbing appendage. A masculine chuckle brought my flushed face up to see Edward's. He sported a sexy half-smile and his green eyes seem to sparkle as he amused himself at my pain. I let go of my toe and gave him a glare. He just smiled even bigger at that. "You okay?" His voice was laced with humor. It was good to hear him enjoy himself, but I really wished it wasn't at my expense.

"Yeah, he just needs to go out really, really bad." I tried not to stare at his scruff-covered face for too long. It had been a few days since he shaved, and I found that look combined with his uncontrollable disarray of hair to be….

…_perfect_.

I finally realized that this was the first time he had knocked on my door since he moved in. I hesitated only a moment before I opened my door all the way and made a gesture for him to enter. I moved to grab my bag, "Did you need something?" I gave a quick scan of the room to make sure nothing embarrassing was lying around. Nope….just a complete mess. Great.

Edward shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and glanced around my room. "No, I just thought you might want to know everyone else is gone so you can come downstairs now." He rested his deep green eyes on mine. I wrinkled my nose. "Am I that obvious?" He chuckled again and moved over to one of my many bookshelves, scanning the titles. "Well, you always beat the rest of us downstairs. When there was no breakfast, they all knew you were still upstairs and probably still pissed."

I sat back down at my desk with a groan. "Are they upset?" Edward turned to me. "What if they are? Fuck them." I raised my brows at him. His tone was defensive, and I found that to be fascinating. He sighed and turned to look at more books. "Look, I don't know what the story is, and I know they are just worried about you, but they needed to tone that shit down." He glanced at me over his shoulder. "And it's good that you stood up for yourself."

I felt my face heat a little under his praise. "You stood up for me too. Did you get in trouble for that?" I hoped Emmett wasn't going to do something impulsive…like get Edward kicked off the team. I was relieved when Edward just shrugged. "They were all decent to me this morning, but they were definitely feeling bad about something. I think you are getting cornered later for an apology." His tone sounded a little angry again. "And don't you dare apologize to them."

It was my turn to sigh. "I have to. I shouldn't have said the things I said last night." I held up my hand when Edward turned to say something. "No, you are right. I needed to stand up for myself, but you _don't_ know the whole story." And I wasn't about to tell him this morning. "They _are_ my family and they worry about me like family should." I looked at my hands for a moment, already imagining what I was going to say to them. When Edward was quiet I lifted my gaze to see he had moved to stand next to my bed. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as I saw he was holding the picture of me and my mom and was staring at it intently. I stood and instinctively wanted to grab for the picture, but I just stood there and waited for him to say something. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to explain to him today.

Edward finally looked up to see me watching him. "Your mom?" I nodded silently. He glanced back at it one more time before carefully setting it back on my nightstand. "She's pretty. You look like her…same nose." He seemed embarrassed by what he just said and just shrugged, not looking at me anymore. I waited for him to ask me something…anything. After a few tense moments, I realized he wasn't going to ask me anything. He was not going to pry into my life without my permission. That realization made me start talking. "She died." I didn't take my eyes off of him and he locked gazes with me. I could read emotions in those green eyes; pity, sadness, concern…but he didn't say anything, so I kept talking. "She was killed by a drunk driver when I was ten." He broke the contact first, sliding his eyes to the floor for a second, then raising them back up to me. I didn't even blink. I knew he was wondering if I knew about his past and what he was arrested for. One day I hoped to get the full story from him, because I had to believe he was different from the man that killed my mother by getting behind the wheel of a car intoxicated.

"I'm sorry." His voice was low, but firm. I wasn't sure if he was expressing sympathy for me, or regret for his past…or both. My emotional limit had been reached, and I knew if we continued down this path I would not be coming back anytime soon, so I grabbed my backpack and stood. "I better get going. Thanks for last night." I was referring to both our talks and his defense of me, but I think he understood. Edward nodded and gave me one more hard look before moving out the door. I followed him downstairs and heard Jake whining and scratching at the door. Edward reached the back door first, "You want me to just let him out?" I opened my mouth to stop him from getting too close to Jake, but it was too late. He reached a hand out and gave a couple quick scratches with his fingertips behind Jake's ear. Jake glanced up at him and then pawed at the door again. Edward looked back at me, and I just nodded in confirmation. Edward opened up the back door and Jake dashed out to take care of business. When Edward turned back to me, he stopped at the obvious shocked look on my face. "What's wrong?" He looked down at his outfit, which was looked perfect on him. _That boy needs to wear black all the time_. I shook my head and answered him. "Jake likes you." Edward rolled his eyes and moved to grab a box of cereal out of the pantry. "I wouldn't say that…"

"No, seriously. If you can touch Jake and he doesn't bite you, that means he likes you. The last guy that came over here was Mike, and Jake bit him on the ass."

Edward dropped the box of cereal on the floor, but luckily it was still closed. He looked at me wide-eyed for a second, and then threw his head back laughing…a real, honest-to-God gut ripping laugh. I felt myself smile in reaction, it was impossible not to. I had never heard such a beautiful sound before. His eyes were closed and his arms were clutched around his middle. After a few minutes of that, he was doubled over trying to breathe. I felt myself laughing a little in response. He looked up at me with the biggest smile on his face, wiping a tear from his eye. "Oh man….that was the funniest shit I have ever heard." A few more laughs echoed in the kitchen. "God that made my day…my whole week!" I shook my head at him, grinning as big as he was. He picked up the cereal box and chuckled lightly as he poured cereal into two bowls. "I think I love that

mutt."

_**E**_

The closer game day got, the more strained my nerves became. I was lucky to get any school work done whatsoever. If I wasn't thinking about Bella, I was thinking about the game. _I am acting like a goddamn freshman!_

Thinking about Bella was a distraction, of course. So much happened between us that night at the football stadium and I kept running through the night again and again. What I learned about her and Newton made my blood turn to icy fire. I wanted to kill that asshole and burn his body. Maybe Alice would help.

Secretly I was pleased that she chose to reveal some of her past with me. I knew there had to be much more to the story, and it wasn't good. The tortured soul in me sympathized with hers. I knew all about how dark pasts can haunt you for a long time. My past showed its ugly face when she told me about her mom getting killed by a drunk driver. She had to know that I was busted for a DUI last year. Yeah…she knew, but she was _that_ fucking nice. She didn't throw it in my face like the rest of the world did. I had never felt like more of an absolute waste of human life than I did when she looked at me with a trust that I didn't deserve.

Yeah, I thought about all of the things we talked about...how good it felt to talk about Tanya, even if it was just a little bit.

Yeah, I thought about how I feel more comfortable with her than anyone else in my life.

Yeah, I thought about how I wanted to tell her everything about me, and learn everything about her as well

_Who am I fucking kidding_…I kept thinking about the way her lips felt against mine.

God, that one second…less than a second…was burned into my brain and I knew it would be there for the rest of my miserable life. I have fucked more women than I can count. Most recently was _what's-her-face_ from _Volt_. I have done it in every place imaginable and with women who were willing to do anything…I mean _anything_. But all that took second string to that less-than-a-second brush with danger.

I was an idiot to even try. She was comforting me and I was reading it all wrong. The look on her face when she pulled away was a blatant reminder that she was forbidden territory. I had to follow Emmett's rules, but I had already decided that Bella was not somebody to take lightly. Whether I was able to keep the friendship bullshit up or not, she deserved better than me in her life. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I will be able to get her off my mind and quit finding excuses to see her.

Jasper was useless during my time of need. Anytime I called to voluntarily spill my guts to him, he always brushed me off, saying Alice was on the other line. The amount of time he spent with that girl was un-fucking-real. I would say I regretted letting them meet in the first place, but hey…he seemed happy. I was not looking forward to hearing about all the ass he was getting…because I tried my best to not think about sex as it was.

Luckily practice took up almost all my spare time Friday night and Saturday morning. I knew that the girls were hard at work on their dance routine for halftime. I was extremely disappointed to not get a preview during practice like we did last time. Apparently I wasn't the only one. Emmett grumbled all the way home Friday night…. something about making it up to him on his birthday. I hoped for his sake he would at least be getting a lap dance.

My roommates were nice enough not to bring up my embarrassing public breakdown. They treated me the same as they had so far, and for that I was extremely grateful. I had enough to occupy my thoughts without worrying about having my emotional garbage spread all over the house. I knew that if I was going to talk to anyone, it would be Bella. I just wasn't sure she would want to hear it.

*********************

I stood in the back of the line of my teammates. Usually I would be the first one out there, but I requested to be the last of the starting team announced for this first game. I had a feeling I wouldn't be well-received by most of the fans, given my reputation. Plus, I wanted to show my guys that I wasn't here to get in the spotlight. I'll let our winning season be my glory.

The sounds of cheering echoed along the tunnel where we were all waiting. The entrance to the field was covered with a sign that we would break through as we were announced. It was one of my favorite parts of the game, the first adrenaline rush as you raced onto the field. My heart was pounding in anticipation and my fingers drummed restlessly against my helmet...anxiously awaiting the grip of the football.

One of the coaches gave us a signal and we strapped our helmets on. The loudspeaker blared over the roar of the crowd and then a single howl echoed over the sound system. That was our cue.

The guys banged on their helmets twice and yelled "Huskies"! I took in a deep breath and exhaled roughly, getting my game face on. No matter what happened once I stepped onto the turf, I was going to give it my fucking best.

The first of the players pushed through the sign and I followed the quickly moving queue out into the glaring stadium lights. The cheering continued as I trotted to the center of the field. Each of the starting offensive players were announced by name and when they were called out, each guy jumped up and waved at the crowd to get them pumped up. The noise was almost deafening, but when I heard my name called out the cheers turned to jeers. It wasn't as bad as I though it would be, but it still made my teeth clench. I heard a sharp whistle and some high pitched voices calling my name over the mixed voices of the crowd. It was coming from close by and I turned to look back towards the tunnel. I was stunned for a moment to see my three female roommates standing at the entrance. They were clapping and jumping a little where they stood, and they were cheering for _me_. They were dressed in black shorts and a white top that showed a lot of skin…both above and below. I appreciated the way all three of them looked, but my eyes locked onto Bella.

She saw me turn to her and her smile widened. She cupped her hands around her mouth and I heard her voice call out to me. "Go Edward!" I couldn't help it…I grinned like a fucking idiot and waved back at her. She returned my grin and gave me a thumbs-up before turning back down the tunnel and out of sight. I turned just in time to catch a practice throw from one of my receivers, still grinning. My motivation just doubled…all thanks to my supportive roommates and especially one stunning brunette.

Our team won the toss and we chose to receive first. After the receiving team gained twenty-five yards on the return, it was time for the offense to step up. I ran out onto the field and took my place, waiting for the ball. I looked down the line and began the countdown. After the third "hut", the ball was passed into my waiting hands.

_**Saliva: Click Click Boom**_

The blockers dove into the onrush of players just waiting to sack me. I danced backwards a few yards and looked for my chosen receiver. He dashed past the other team's defense and turned back to look for me. My arm was already cocked back and I felt my muscles tighten as I thrust my hand forward. I released the ball in the middle of the arc just as one of the defensive players broke free from my blockers and knocked me flat on my back. I didn't waste time catching my breath. I jumped back onto my feet and watched as the ball floated right into the receivers hands. He ran almost fifteen yards before being taken down. I jumped up and cheered with my team and the crowd. _First down assholes!_ The crowd came to their feet in reaction. _This_ was the way to start a real game. You couldn't bitch-slap the grin off my face.

*********************

By half-time we were ahead by three touchdowns.

I was pounded on the back repeatedly by almost everyone on the team as we filed into the locker room. I gulped down some Gatorade and returned some of the back-slaps and words of encouragement. Before any of the coaches started talking, I addressed my offense. The guys showed no sign of resentment as I had them huddle around me.

"We are winning…but it would be embarrassing as hell if that changed now. You all know by now that my game is in the air, not running." A few people nodded. Running the ball was not my strong point, but I had no fucking shame admitting that. "The blockers are doing all they can and then some, but the other team knows our game by now…so let's mix this shit up a bit." I proceeded to throw out a few changes to the plays we had rehearsed. I trusted all of them to follow my lead and we were done talking by the time Coach Meyers walked in.

He didn't waste time discussing the finer details of our plays; that was a job for the assistant coaches. There really wasn't much to say…we were doing fan-fucking-tastic out there. He instead gave us a couple short words about keeping up the good work and then gestured for the assistant coaches to talk with him and us to rest up a bit more. I was confused when Emmett walked over to Coach Meyers while the rest of the team turned away to chat for a few minutes. Coach Meyers took a look over his shoulder at him. "McCarty." His tone was dismissive, but Emmett was persistent. "Coach? Come on…it's my birthday tomorrow!" Coach Meyer turned fully to him then and regarded him for a long moment. He narrowed his eyes, but a smirk formed on his lips. "You get your head all wrapped up and let one damn player run past you…."

Emmett interrupted his threat and held a hand in the air. "Scouts honor Coach. I swear to God my head will be in the game." The rest of the teammates either ignored him or didn't pay attention to anything around them, but I was pretty fucking curious as to what the hell Emmett was asking for. Coach Meyers waved Emmett away and turned back to the other coaches. Emmett jumped up and pumped his fist silently. He ran over to me and dragged me to my feet. "Come on. I am supposed to keep an eye on you so you have to come with me." I didn't have a chance to protest before I was dragged out of the locker room and down the tunnel towards the field. I seriously doubted that coach meant for me to go with him on his little adventure, but the excitement was pouring off of Emmett and I was apparently going to find out what had him so wound up.

"Rose told me I _had_ to find a way to see the show today. She said it was part of my birthday present." _Uh oh._ I sincerely hoped I wasn't about to get more of a show than I wanted. But the chance to see Bella dance again had my feet moving a little faster.

We reached the end of the tunnel and I didn't have a chance to see anything before I heard Emmett's breath suck in. I stepped up beside him and looked towards the middle of the field just as the music started.

_**Shut Up and Drive: Rhianna**_

_Oh...my….fucking...God._

We were stunned into silence even before the dancing began. The girls were dressed in what had to be the sexiest costume I had ever seen. The sad part was it covered most of their body. I immediately found Bella and drank in the sight of her. My mouth dried up in reaction. Like the rest of the team, she was wearing a gray/blue mechanic's jumpsuit. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and the top portion was unbuttoned to her waist. The small white shirt underneath did little to cover anything and a generous expanse of pale midriff was exposed. The pants were not too snug, but tight enough to show off her curves. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and hidden under a matching ball cap. A few tendrils were artfully teasing the sides of her face, giving them appearance of being "messy". They had even put smudges of black on their faces. Bella looked like she had just stepped out from working in a garage…and by working I mean it looked like she was fucked on the workbench. My hands clenched and my pants tightened.

Emmett was practically panting as he watched Rosalie. I knew that this was probably his wet dream come to life. _Happy Birthday, you lucky jackass._

The girls danced just as impressively as they did the first time I saw them….sexy but not trashy. During the first part of the song, they started off slow…taking a few steps and rocking their hips to the beat. Bella's ponytail bounced along her back as she turned away from me. I watched that hair as it swirled around her face for spins and swung over her shoulder. The jumpsuit top was loose enough that it fell off one shoulder, revealing even more of her cream colored skin. When she rolled that exposed shoulder seductively I nearly lost it.

They twisted and turned, jumped and bent in amazing ways and the overall effect was mind-boggling. The noise from the crowd showed that pretty much everyone there agreed with me. Bella's smile was firmly in place, but once again it seemed forced and her gaze was fixed over the crowd's heads. I probably wouldn't have even noticed it if I wasn't so focused on her. All thoughts of her discomfort flew out the window as my discomfort increased…the girls finished the last segment of their song by yanking the caps off their head and flinging their hair around. Seeing Bella's long mahogany locks flow femininely over the mechanic's suit made it almost unbearable to stand. I barely realized that Emmett had reached out for support against the tunnel wall.

The song ended and the torture was finally over. I would gladly suffer like that again and again.

I heard the rest of the team come out of the locker room as the girls trotted off the field and headed towards us. The stadium was still cheering for them. I had to nudge Emmett to get him moving towards the field. I hoped he didn't make an ass of himself during the game after that little present…but I was in serious danger of losing control myself at that point. The dancers walked past us to get to their locker room and were greeted by whistles and cat calls from the other players. I resisted the urge to glare at them, but that would mean I could actually tear my eyes away from Bella for a moment. She was walked next to Alice, smiling at something the small girl was pointing at. When Alice grinned and waved excitedly to someone in the crowd, I knew that Jazz was there somewhere. Rosalie paused long enough to give a deep kiss to Emmett and tell him "Happy Birthday". I felt bad for the guy…he just groaned and mumbled incoherently as she walked away. Before she got to far he yelled back to her. "You had better not ever _think_ about changing out of the outfit!" Rosalie's giggles were mixed with shouts of approval from the players. Bella turned her gaze back towards me and caught me blatantly staring at her. An adorable blush crept up her neck and colored her cheeks. I felt my lips move into an involuntary smile. Her gaze dropped for a moment before returning to mine and she smiled and locked eyes with me as she walked past. The urge to grab her was overpowering and I was grateful that my teammates herded me onto the field. Her smile made my heart rate pick up again and I jerked my helmet back on with more force than was probably necessary. My mind became focused on the here-and-now. I was pumped up…I was humming with energy…

_Let's win a football game._

**Songs and dance costume on my profile.**

**I am sorry its taking so long to update, but this story is harder to write than it looks! I hope that it's worth the wait and I appreciate all the support and patience.**

**Just a side note….I saw a commercial for the twilight DVD for the first time today and I squealed like a friggen idiot! You would think I had never seen it before (6 times to be exact). I am going to one of the midnight release parties…not sure which one yet. I know the hot topic one might be the best but you have to preorder your dvd to go to that one. I am getting my DVD from Target since it has the kiss montage and a ton of deleted stuff.**

**Speaking of which, have you seen some of the deleted scenes that have been released? HOLY CROW!!!! I cannot WAIT until the 21****st****! This is going to be the longest week! Oh, and when the movie comes out I will be watching it on repeat for days lol.**

**I am going to mention a new favorite story of mine. It's called Redline by Winndsinger. Be warned! It is an extremely graphic story filled with sex, dominance, sex, torture, sex, angst and …..SEX. It's an addictive story and my friend and I text each other when a new chapter is posted. **

**I could talk all day but I will just say….OME! Rob's GQ article and pictures of New Moon rehearsals…….YAY!!!**

**You know what keeps me going….**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay this is a short little intro/filler but I thought I would give you what I got instead of dragging it out. Hope you like it!**

_******If anyone is interested in denoting to the American Cancer Society through the Relay for Life….PLEASE contact me! I am getting a team together and we are accepting online donations already! ******_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I wish I did….and I wish that I owned the Essence of Twilight scents! UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH SMELLS SO GOOD!**

Chapter 8

_**B**_

Rosalie, Alice and I were grinning like fools when we met the guys on the field. We had all showered up and changed into our street clothes. Alice found Jasper and brought him down to our little group. Emmett came out to us first and his face was priceless! His smile was contagious and he whooped and cheered as we all congratulated him. He shook Jasper's hand and gave Alice and I warm hugs…but we were immediately forgotten. His smile turned serious and his eyes narrowed. He charged right past us and grabbed Rosalie in his muscular arms and she wrapped her long legs around his waist. Their hands roamed each other's bodies with little regard to their audience. I flushed and looked down to my feet, but noting could wipe the smile off my face. I heard Emmett's husky voice, "Where did you put that costume?" Rosalie giggled and he carried her through the tunnel and out of the stadium. I guess he liked our surprise.

More cheers erupted from my friends and I looked up to see Edward trotting onto the field. His grin rivaled Emmett's and I felt my heart lift to see him so happy. I laughed as Jasper slapped him on the butt as he went by, but Alice settled for a high-five. He didn't pause a moment…not until he got to me and swept me up into his arms.

I was too shocked to do anything but laugh as he spun me around and around. When he finally set me down we both looked at each other in shock. I had a feeling he couldn't believe he did that anymore than I could. He still had his hands on my upper arms, his touch extremely gentle but I was very aware of his contact. I didn't blink…and neither did he.

Our trance was broken when Alice conspicuously cleared her throat. Edward blinked and looked away, letting his hands drop from me. I felt my face catch on fire and I had to resist the urge to fan myself. I couldn't meet Edward's eyes anymore, and Alice's were full of teasing so I settled for looking at Jasper. He was looking at me with a small, encouraging smile. There was something else hidden there….the closest I could describe it was _gratitude_. I felt a little more relaxed ad returned the smile…albeit mine felt pretty sheepish.

"Edward, you played great! You really were the star out there." Alice's chipper voice turned me back to Edward. He was smiling again, running a hand through his damp hair and shifting nervously. "I don't know about all that…"

"Dude," Jasper spoke up, "I have been watching this team for a few years…and _this_ was the game I was waiting for."

Alice spoke again, nodding at Jasper's words. "Just wait; the whole stadium will be chanting your name by homecoming."

When Edward modestly began shaking his head I had to stop him. "No, seriously Edward. You should never bet against Alice. If she says it…it will come true." He met my eyes again and looked at me in amusement and confusion. "I don't know why, you just have to believe her. Trust me." I gave him a small smile, hoping to put him at ease. It had to be unsettling to receive praise after getting months of negative attention.

He laughed lightly and then shrugged lightly. "I will remember that." He walked towards me, but this time just put a light hand on the small of my back to guide me towards the exit. I didn't have time to take in the electric feelings that coursed over my skin at his touch, because he moved away to pull Jasper into a headlock while still walking. Jasper laughed and half-heartedly struggled to release himself as Edward playfully growled at him. "You think you can just slap my ass and get away with it?" Alice and I laughed like crazy and followed wrestling the boys out to the parking lot.

*************************************************

The high from the big win didn't wind down for the longest time. Sunday was Emmett's birthday, and after giving him his presents we all lounged around on the back porch and ate all the junk food in the house. Alice stayed on Jasper's lap almost the entire time and it didn't escape my notice that he was here very early this morning…like he never went home the night before. I kept my suspicions to myself, not wanting to embarrass her or Jasper.

Edward came down to join us after a while. He was his usual quiet self at first, sitting on a chair pulled away from the group. I would glance over now and then to see him smiling and more times than not, staring right at me. Everyone seemed shocked when Jake sauntered out onto the porch and laid down near Edward's foot. Emmett let out a grunt and pointed at Jake with his soda. "I got that dog for your protection, Bella. I haven't seen him even _look_ at Edward sideways…or Jasper for that matter. Is he defective?" I narrowed my eyes at his insult. "No, he is not _defective_." I practically spit the word out. "He is just a good judge of character. Obviously he trusts Edward and Jasper." I think I sounded a little smug, but it got a smile from Edward so that made me happy.

The good humor carried on into the evening. Not wanting to give up the last bit of nice weather we might have in a while, we grilled out and ate on the porch. I gladly handed over the grilling duties to the guys…it was one part of cooking that I am not that good at. Alice carried out bowls of salad and I set the dressings in the center of the table. The smell of the chicken on the grill was making my mouth water. I almost laughed to see all three guys standing at the grill, pointing at the meat and talking mostly in grunts. _How many men did it take to cook chicken?_

"So Bella, Mom and Dad are pressuring me to get you to come home with me for fall break." Alice spoke from across the deck. Rosalie came up behind me with silverware. "Yeah, we could all go together. You know I am not even thinking about spending the week with my parents if I can help it." I looked at Rosalie sympathetically. Her mother had spent most of her life ignoring her and her father usually had her in the garage working with him, constantly telling her he wished he had a son. There was no love lost there.

I knew this was coming. Every time there was a holiday or break they tried their best to convince me to come back to Forks with them. Most times I managed to avoid their pleading, but I had agreed to one or two trips a year. Usually it was Thanksgiving. I still didn't do well with family Christmas gatherings.

"Thanks Alice, but I think I will stay here and catch up with some school work."

Alice gave me a knowing look. "Are you sure? You know Dad has been begging for a home-cooked 'Bella' meal since Easter."

I smiled the best I could. "I am sure. Besides, I need to work on the 'Faded' routine. You know I keep messing up the last part of that." I knew they didn't buy my excuses, but they let it drop. To be fair, they are used to my protests and know why I am so uncomfortable around families. I looked back over to the boys and started to ask how much longer the meat would be, but the words died in my throat. Jasper and Emmett were still facing away, looking at the grill. But Edward….Edward was turned around and looking right at me. His arms were crossed over his chest, stretching his dark blue t-shirt over his muscles. His green eyes were narrowed slightly and it made the overall dark intensity of his gaze burn through me. I felt my skin heat in response. His lips parted, like he was about to ask something, but then they shut again. Emmett turned around and presented a large platter of chicken. "Ta-da!" The spell was broken, and we looked away as everyone took their seats. I focused on my food, trying not to think about the lingering rush from Edward's gaze. Embarrassment mixed in with my giddiness. How can I keep falling over myself whenever he just looks my way? He hasn't made a move to kiss me again after that first night, so I could only wonder as to what he was thinking.

I was absently creating scenarios for talking to Edward when Alice piped up. "Emmet, are you still going to Creswell?" Emmett nodded with a mouth full of food. She turned to Jasper and asked if he was going anywhere for break. He gave a soft smile. "Yeah, I am going to Texas to visit my Dad." I looked at him questionably. "I thought you were from Maryland?" Jasper took a sip of his drink before answering. "I bounce back and forth between my Mom and my Dad. Mom moved to Maryland after they got divorced, but I have spent more years in Texas than anywhere else."

"That explains the sexy southern voice." Alice gave Jasper a loving look as she teased him and everyone laughed softly. Finally, Alice turned her attention to Edward. "What about you, Edward? Are you going home for break?"

"Nope." He popped the 'p' for emphasis, keeping his eyes on the plate. It was silent for a moment, and then we realized he wasn't going to elaborate and the attention was turned elsewhere. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, but he didn't look back at me.

_**E**_

The night before everyone left for fall break, I got another fucking lecture.

The house was almost empty. Alice and Rosalie left for Forks after their classes this afternoon. I was enjoying another wonderful Bella concoction in the quiet kitchen when Emmett walked by me, gesturing for me to follow. I sighed and pushed away from the table and walked to the driveway behind him. He tossed his bag into the backseat of his Jeep and then turned to me. I crossed my arms at the serious look on his face. Emmet sighed. "Look man, things have been going great here. You have fit in a hell of a lot better than I thought you would." I snorted at his comments. He grinned at me. "No seriously, even Rose is warming up to you." That got a full-on laugh.

"The reason I want to talk to you is this: I would never consider leaving Bella here alone. Usually one of us either drags her home with us or we find some excuse to stay behind."

"Why doesn't she just go home?" I wasn't one to talk. I had a home at one time I could go to for holidays, but that seemed like it was from another life.

Emmett hesitated. "This_ is_ home for Bella."

I kept myself from questioning him further. I knew that he wasn't going to elaborate and Bella's story will only come from Bella.

"I was not thrilled about leaving her alone here with you either, to be perfectly honest." He stopped me before I could throw a damn hissy fit. "But you have proved yourself over the past few weeks. I am not going to threaten you to stay away from her again…but I will ask you for your help." He looked at me straight in the eye then, all joking gone. "I am asking you to watch out for her. She would be pissed to hear it, but she needs someone there for her. Just….make sure she stays out of trouble."

I shrugged my shoulders. "You don't have a lot of faith in her ability to take care of yourself, do you?" Emmett waved me off. "It's not that I don't have faith in her, I just know how many rotten hands life has dealt her…and I promised myself I would do everything in my power to keep that from happening again."

We regarded each other for a moment. I knew he was waiting for me to ask him about her past, but I had no intention of prying information from Emmett. I was becoming increasingly determined to learn all I could about this girl. I gave myself a little slack…and didn't wrack my brain overanalyzing that.

"I'll take care of her...that is _my _promise."

I wasn't sure if I was reassuring him, or acknowledging something within myself.

**************************

When I went back into the house…it was very quiet. There was no music, no TV, no video games…no bickering about staying out of the garage.

It was fucking paradise!

And then I heard the sounds of movements upstairs…and it all came crashing down on me. I was here…alone…with Bella. No nosey overprotective roommates between me and her.

Excited? No doubt.

Nervous? You bet.

I quickly ushered myself up the stairs and tried to dive into my room before I ran into her. I wasn't sure I was ready to face her one-on-one just yet. I needed to get some shit straightened out in my head first. I had almost made it when Bella stepped out of her room, the dog close on her heels. She had a laundry basket full of clothes in her hands. She looked up and caught me gawking at her, and she did that blushing thing that drove me nuts. "Hi," she greeted me shyly. I gave her a small smile in return. She seemed to feel as awkward as I did because she was shifting back and forth on her feet. The mutt apparently got tired of standing there because he turned away and trotted down the stairs. I smirked at her. "He really isn't living up to all the hype of being a bad-ass guard dog."

Instead of getting mad at me like she did Emmett when he ragged on her dog, she just laughed lightly and shook her head. "I guess not. So…" I waited for her to continue and she shifted the laundry basket to one hip. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, but I found that to be totally _sexy_. She wore short black pants and a light pink t-shirt…nothing too revealing. But for some reason, watching her jut her little hip out slightly to brace the basket against it…_damn_.

She spoke again. "Looks like its just us." She looked away and flushed brighter. I almost grinned at her discomfort, but I hid it away. "Yeah, I guess so." We stood there for a few more moments before speaking at the same time.

"Well, I have homework…"

"I better get some laundry done…."

We looked at each other again and laughed. The tension was unbelievably thick and I didn't realize I was messing with my hair until it was surely beyond ridiculous looking. She gave me one more smile and then moved past me to the stairway. I resisted the urge to watch her walk away and shut my door.

In my room, I was able to relive the brief moments I had her in my arms. I was so pumped after winning our game that I didn't think. I ran out to my….friends…and there she was, smiling at me. I truly think having her as my personal cheering section earlier kept my head in the game and my confidence going. I was so happy in that moment. I almost forgot what it felt like to be that deliriously content….I did what came natural. I wanted to express how I felt to the one person I thought would understand.

It was nothing compared to our brief kiss, and I immediately thought I had pushed my boundaries by grabbing her like that, but her face didn't show any signs of panic, and her laughter echoed in my mind.

This was going to be a long week.

*****************************

**So review and let me know how much you love me for posting a lil' sumin sumin for ya. Next chapter will have some serious BxE time!**

**I am so friggen excited about the movie coming out…you have no idea.**

**Wait…you probably do!**

**I got my sample pack of Essence of Twilight scents the other day. Edward smells like sunshine and happiness! I swear I could close my eyes and it was like he was there! Freaky! Bella's is a very pretty smell...I really like it! Jacob….oh Jake…he smells like trees, earth and SEX! Jesus!!!**

**Jaspers smells like hot southern nights in Texas…..I am so wanting that!**

**They all smell fantastic but those are my favorites!**

**Talk to you soon!**

**Jodi**


	9. Chapter 9

**I am getting this out to you guys today because after tomorrow morning I am going to be locked in my room watching Twilight OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! So you may thank me now : P**

**I had such a large response to the little mini-chapter! And to be honest, I am just as excited as you guys to get some Bella and Edward time. A lot of you were also interested in where I got my samples of Twilight scents. I have put the link under my profile so hopefully it works. I think I am liking Jasper's scent….A LOT! **

**Songs in this chapter: "Crush" by David Archuleta and "The Night Will Go As Follows" by Spill Canvas. Links are on my profile as usual.**

**Disclaimer: I am waiting for someone to claim they own Twilight….and then I will join them in lala land.**

Chapter 9

_**E**_

It was impossible to avoid her. Everyone I cared to hang out with was gone for the week, and there were no classes or practice until Monday. I had another awkward moment with her when we ran into each other at breakfast. I padded into the kitchen and was only mildly surprised to see she was already awake. She had a bowl of cereal in front of her and the box sat next to an empty bowl across from her.

I just stood there like an idiot while she was looking up at me. Her hair was pulled back in a messy knot on the back of her head, and a few strands fell around her face. As always, she was not wearing any kind of makeup that I could see…and as always she made me forget to breathe.

After a moment she gave me a smirk and pointed to the bowl meant for me with her spoon. I sat down and gave her a grateful smile while I poured my cereal. We sat in comfortable silence. I think she was enjoying the emptiness of the house as much as I was. For once, I was the first to speak. "What? No elaborate omelets? No French toast and bacon?" I teased her with my words and a smile.

She snickered and blushed, dropping her eyes to her breakfast. "I am feeling lazy today, sorry." The smile in her voice told me wasn't sorry at all. _Good for her._

Her dog was under the table and I heard him let out a very human sounding snort. Bella ignored him and took a sip of her orange juice. "So what's on your agenda for today?" I looked out the kitchen window and sighed at the rain pouring down. "Is it as cold out there as it looks?" I knew she had to at least been outside long enough to let her mutt out. Her little nose wrinkled as she glanced out the window as well. "It's pretty chilly."

"I guess it's a day of catch-up and studying for me." I honestly needed to spend the whole week working on my assignments, but my non-existent interest in chemical engineering was weighing me down. I thought of my classes back in Maryland. They were no less challenging, but at least they were in a subject I was interested in.

Bella finished her cereal and took her bowl to the sink. I watched her movements as discretely as possible, not wanting to creep her out with my observing. "I think I will catch up on some stuff as well, but I wasn't lying to Alice…I need to work on our routine. It's not the one for the next game, but its giving me a lot of trouble."

"What's difficult about it?" I wasn't trying to be condescending, I was simply curious. She seemed to dance as if it was second nature, sometimes even better than she could walk. She turned to face me, leaning against the counter. "The ending is…tricky." Her hands moved as she tried to explain the complicated steps…but I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

"…and when I fall back someone will be there to catch me, but I tense up every time and I get so nervous that the last steps leading up to the finish are all messed up."

I got up to take my cereal bowl to the sink as well. I was pleased to see she moved over to make room for me, but didn't move too far away. "Let me get this straight: basically you having these complicated moves leading up to some sort of acrobatic finish but you don't trust whoever is there to catch you?"

She shook her head. "Its not that I don't trust them…I know in my head that they will catch me, but my body thinks differently when that moment comes."

I pondered that for a moment. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I didn't know what the fuck I could possibly do to help her dance routine, but I was sure as hell going to try. Her grateful smile was worth it. "Thanks, but I think I will just try warming up with something relaxing before I practice the hard parts…see if it gets my head on straight." She crossed her arms and bit her lip as she looked at me. She always looked like this before she was about to ask me something. It made me want to laugh, because it didn't matter what she was asking me…she was nervous no matter what. I knew she wasn't afraid of me, so I patted myself on the back for getting her all flustered.

"What music do you listen to? Before a game I mean," she finally asked. I mimicked her pose, crossing my arms and leaning back on the counter. I noticed her eyes flicker to my arms and I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from grinning as she blushed and looked back towards the floor. "Well, it's not usually relaxing. I listen to some really loud hard-rock songs. You know, stuff with a lot of screaming and testosterone."

She laughed and I melted. She really had no idea how that sound made my day. "So you listen to Man-Music?" I laughed and shrugged. "It gets me pumped for the game, and then I get focused…almost tunnel vision."

"Do you feel like you work best under pressure? Is that how you got in trouble a lot in the past?"

I felt my smile slip slightly and she saw that. "Oh God, I am sorry…it's none of my business…."

"No, its okay. I don't mind. I just never looked at it that way before." This was true. I felt like when the chips were down, I did my best work. That's why I put off my school work until the last minute. My best essays were always done after an all-nighter. "I think that's one reason I came to UW. I knew that people wouldn't exactly be thrilled to have me here, but I think the opposition is why I pushed myself into sticking with it." I turned my head to her to see that she was looking at me carefully, her brown eyes open with curiosity. I gave her a grin. "You are very observant." That got another blush.

"I have been writing down a lot of stuff lately. It makes me think and I can write with a lot more feeling behind it…but then sometimes my mouth let's everything out when I don't mean to." She grinned back at me. I raised my eyebrows. "You are a writer?" She shrugged modestly. "I write some things, I hope to be a writer someday, but we'll see."

"Can I read some of what you wrote?" I was really only half serious…maybe mostly serious. She jerked her head up and her eyes widened. "No! I mean…" she blushed again as she stammered over her words. I couldn't help but tease her further. I uncrossed my arms and leaned closer to her. "Bella? Did you write about _me?_" I couldn't help but laugh as she turned almost scarlet and glanced away. "No!" _She's lying!_ Oh man, I was enjoying this!

She turned around and walked towards the stairs. "I should really write….my essay! I need to write an essay…for class." She stumbled into the doorway and muttered something under her breath. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. She didn't turn back around, but I could see the blush creeping up on the back of her neck.

*****************

A few hours later I was ready to jump out my window. The day was still just as gloomy as that morning, but the weatherman gave me hope that the night would be clear and mild. My school assignments were getting done, but at he expense of my worn-out brain. _This is a shitty way to spend fall break._

I was tapping my foot to the beat of the music before I even realized that the music wasn't coming from my room. I sat up and listened more closely to the muted sounds. From what I could tell, it was coming from downstairs. That meant Bella had finished her "essay" and she was probably in the dance-room. I smiled when I thought of the look on her face as I teased her. I hoped she didn't get too offended by my behavior. I needed to tread really fucking lightly in this situation….kid gloves and all that shit.

The beat that my feet tapped to was fairly slow. That was unusual when it comes to their dance routines. I was already used to hearing heavy heart-pumping music when they practiced or worked out. This had me intrigued. She must be playing a song to relax her, like she had told me at breakfast. I got up and walked over to the door. _I would just open it and try to identify the song…then I would go back to my homework_. I nodded to myself and stepped out into the hallway, listening to the melody. I recognized the song almost immediately. It was played on the radio so much anyone would know what it was. I thought her choice of music was interesting….and I couldn't stop myself from moving to the stairs.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

I don't know what the hell happened to just stepping out into the hall for a second, but here I was….creeping down the stairs and around the corner towards the work-out room. The music was louder now and I saw it was because the door was slightly ajar. I should go back up to my room now. _Walk away Edward._

But there was my hand, pushing the door further open, inch by inch. I craned my neck to take a peek through the gap, praying that I wasn't about to get screamed at for being a fucking peeping tom. I saw a flash of a hand move in the light coming from the windows on the opposite wall. Looking in further I saw that Bella was facing away from me at the moment. She was wearing a tight blue t-shirt and fitted black pants. Her small feet were bare and her hair was piled up onto her head. I sucked in my breath and held it, trying to keep as quiet as possible. She reached down and touched her toes, stretching her muscles and giving me a view that nearly knocked me to my knees. After a moment she slowly rose back up and reached over her head and leaned towards the floor. Her shirt rode up and showed a decent expanse of pale skin. Her pants rode low on the swell of her hip bones. _How can that girl make work-out clothes look that damn sexy?_

_**David Archuleta- "Crush"**_

I barely heard the lyrics to the song as I stepped quietly into the room. My footsteps were masked by the soft mats on the floor and the beat of the music. When the chorus started, she began to move.

I froze as she stepped gracefully forward, pause, then step backwards. She stepped sideways, staying with the beat. It reminded me of a waltz. Her arms were held out slightly, flowing with her movements. When she took her third step she spun in a small circle, her head thrown back and her arms raised higher. I felt my muscles relax slightly when I saw her eyes were shut, a small smile on her face.

_She moves like an angel._

I was rooted to the ground, unable to wisely seek my escape as she danced closer to me. I was only a few short feet away, and she had no idea I was there. She paused in her steps, and then made another move that put her within inches of me. I felt my heart beat loudly, my eyes felt heavy and my mind and body were under her spell.

"_Do you ever think, when you're all alone…all that we could be? Where this thing could go?"_

I took a small step forward, breathing as lightly as possible. I could smell her perfume that I knew was nothing bought from a store. It was all Bella. I looked down to her face, my lips just a minuscule distance away from her skin. I reached up a hand as she paused in her movements…wanting to bury my fingers into all that dark hair. When she took a step backwards I followed her. She kept to the same waltz-like pattern: step forward, step back…move to the side and spin. I mirrored her steps, moving my body in the pattern right along with her. I kept myself within centimeters from her body. I knew one wrong step and I would be caught but I was unable to keep away from her. When she moved to make her spin I stepped back just out of her reach, then returned to our dance.

She looked so peaceful in that moment, more relaxed than I have ever seen her while dancing. I was caught up in absorbing every small detail and it took a moment for me to realize that the music was fading to a close. I forced myself to step away and move towards the doorway before she opened her eyes. When I stepped outside the room I pulled the door almost all the way shut and leaned up against the wall next to it. My breath was shaking as I took deep lung-fulls of oxygen. My forehead felt clammy and I wipe my hand across it, moving up to clench my hair.

_I didn't even fucking touch her._

I just had the most intense moment in my life, and it took a few damn minutes to calm myself down. The music suddenly changed to something faster paced and I almost jumped in response. She must be getting down to business now. I didn't want to process my feelings in that moment. I knew if I tried to put a name to it or analyze it to death I would freak myself out and stay locked in my room for the whole week. I acted on impulse again and shoved off the wall and moved back to the door. I didn't peek in first this time, but rapped my knuckles against the wood a few times, loud enough to be heard over the music. After a second, the stereo switched off and I heard her small footsteps as she came to the door.

She pulled open the door and looked surprised to see me there. So I guess my stealth paid off. "Hi," she squeaked nervously. I tried not to smile too much, no need to freak her out. But my concentration made me forget to greet her back. She looked down at her feet and then back up to me. "Did you need the room?" I blinked at her stupidly for a second before answering. "Oh, no. No, I just thought…did you want to have dinner with me?"

She looked confused for a second. "Don't we usually have dinner together?" _Shit_. She was right. Anytime we were home for dinner we all ate together. I worked to save my dignity and not look like a fucking idiot. Why did I not think about this first?

"I mean, I want to cook dinner for you. Would that be okay?" At least my voice didn't crack like a pre-pubescent boy. Her smile started to widen. "You can cook?" I narrowed my eyes at her amusement. "I have been known to throw a few things together, yeah." I wasn't a complete waste of space for Christ's sake. She pursed her lips to keep her smile under control and I decided I didn't mind if she made fun of me, as long as she kept smiling.

"It won't be as good as what you make, but I promise it will be tolerable." I gave her what I hoped was a flirty grin. It worked.

She blushed and tucked her head down to try to hide it. I loved that.

"Dinner would be nice." Her voice still had a smile in it and it was almost too quiet for me to hear. "Great. Is there anything you don't like?"

She shook her head. "Anything would be fine. Thank you." I was really hoping that she would give me a clue as to what to make, but Bella seemed like she was a girl of simple tastes. I really liked that in a woman. "Sure. I'll see you later then?" She nodded and smiled and I returned it before walking towards the stairs. That brief intense dancing moment with her had sparked all kinds of impulsive behavior. Part of my mind was on what I would cook tonight, but there was something I had to take care of first. I was extremely grateful the house was empty since I was practically fucking skipping as I walked. _Thank God Jazz can't see me now._

I walked into my room and sat down at my desk. For the first time I wished I hadn't burned my guitar. I took out a notebook and turned it to a blank page. My fingers were humming in anticipation as I began scrawling words and notes across the page. It was going to be just a draft, but when I got my hands on a guitar or piano…I was going to start writing songs again. There was no grief, no guilt or pain…just excitement and I fucking basked in it. It was a feeling I didn't experience that often, and I would hold onto my Bella-side effects for as long as possible.

_**B**_

I stared nervously in the mirror. I didn't know why I was making such a big deal about how I looked. It was just dinner with my roommate and we weren't even leaving the house. I smoothed my hair the best I could and straightened my blue sweater. Alice once told me it was a flattering shirt and I kept that in mind as I picked out my outfit. Instead of going for the black slacks she chose to go with it, I decided to keep it casual with dark jeans. I was tempted to try and apply some makeup, but without Alice here to supervise and direct it could end up being a disaster.

I looked over to Jake who was staring at me expectantly. He had been patiently watching me all afternoon as I wrote endless pages in my notebook. And yes…Edward was right….it was mostly about him. While I would never admit it, the story I was scribbling down was based on the emotions he evoked in me.

Jake whined at me. "Sorry buddy, you need to stay up here tonight." He gave me his best pouting big-eyed look. I sighed and scratch his ears. "I love you Jake, but I need some human time this evening." I don't know why I felt the need to explain my actions to a dog, but I always talked to him like he was my best friend.

With one final deep breath for courage, I closed the bedroom door and padded down the stairs, only stumbling once. I hardly blushed anymore when I did that…it was almost expected every time I stepped foot on those stairs. The smells coming from the kitchen were surprisingly mouth-watering, but when I walked in, there was no food within view. I heard soft music and the clink of silverware coming from the other room. The French doors were open, allowing the soft music from the stereo to float onto the porch. I slowly stepped through the doorway and my brows rose in surprise.

Edward was bent over the patio table, dishing out portions of lasagna onto two plates. A bowl of salad sat next to each plate and a few candles flickered in the center of the table between the two place settings. It was not much different looking from a lot of nights we all spent out here during dinner, but for some reason knowing Edward set this up for just us made the atmosphere _very_ different. He must have seen me from the corner of his eye and he turned to me as he finished serving the delicious smelling food. A crooked smile bloomed across his face and it felt like the air was full of electricity. I could only stand there, frozen at the sensation and trying to not stare at him too intently. He was wearing a maroon colored button down shirt with jeans, casual but cleaned up. He had the sleeves rolled up on his arms and I restrained myself from letting my eyes focus on the muscles underneath his pale skin.

He broke the silence first, almost startling me as I broke from my reverie. "You look nice." I blushed, of course, and shrugged. I was torn between being pleased at the compliment and embarrassed that he noticed my extra effort. "Thanks, so do you." He shrugged as well gesturing towards to the table. "I hope this is okay. The weather cleared up and I thought it would be nice to take advantage of it." I nodded in agreement. The air was cool, but not uncomfortably so.

Edward pulled out a chair and looked at me expectantly. I moved forward, stumbling a little in the process. He chuckled quietly and pushed my chair in before sitting across from me. I laid my napkin on my lap and looked at the pasta in front of me. "I hope you like lasagna. Its one thing that I learned how to make when I was younger that passed as edible."

I took a small bite…and then closed my eyes and moaned. "Edward! This is more than just _edible…_ this is fantastic!" I took a larger bite and let the flavors melt over my tongue. The spices of the sauce and cheeses were incredible and I had to seriously concentrate on not inhaling the wonderful concoction. When he was quite for too long I looked up at him. He hadn't taken his first bite yet; instead he was watching me with a strange look on his face. His eyes were hooded and he looked almost tense. I wiped my mouth with my napkin self-consciously. "Is something wrong?" I asked nervously. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear it and then took a bite of his food. "No, I just think that's the most enthusiastic response I have ever had for my lasagna." When I blushed and ducked my head he continued. "Don't be embarrassed. I appreciate your positive criticism." I met his smile with one of my own and we continued with our meal. I think I managed to keep the moans to a minimum.

After a second helping I couldn't eat anymore. Edward had one more serving before pushing back from the table and groaning. "I ate way too much." I laughed at his grumbling. "Well next time don't make something so tasty!" He gave me a smirk and it took me a moment to recover from it. I started to get up with my plate, but he stopped me before I could get out of my chair. He reached for my dishes and snatched them up. "I'll clean up." I started to protest that he cooked dinner so I should clean, but he shook his head. "You do this shit all the time, so let someone else do it for you for a change." He took all the plates and smiled at me before disappearing into the house.

I sipped my soda and looked over the yard. The night was very quiet. In the summer, a rain storm would bring out all sorts of noisy creatures, but in the fall there was nothing but silence after wet weather. The damp air brushed over me and I sighed, completely relaxed. The sound of dishes clanking together was barely heard over the music coming from the living room. I smiled to myself, thinking about the effort that Edward went through to make dinner. Lasagna was a messy dish.

The logical part of my mind told me he had to eat either way, and it was just easier to make dinner for two rather than one. The giddy, smiling little girl inside me tempted me to believe that he went through the trouble just for me. I knew that this week would be a turning point for us. The tension that we had whenever we were in the same room was reaching a bowling point. This week would hopefully smooth that tension over and put us into more comfortable niches. I knew we would become closer after spending a week alone together…but how close was I willing to get?

Edward came back out onto the porch, interrupting my thoughts. He smiled at me and I hoped my thoughts weren't written all over my face. I had an irrational moment and thought how glad I was he couldn't read my mind. He pulled his chair from the opposite side of the table and dragged it over next to mine so we could both look out at the woods. I was almost painfully aware of how close he was.

"Thanks again for dinner." I told him, bravely turning my head to look him in the eyes. He gave me another crooked smile and waved off my gratitude. "It was nothing…thanks for joining me." We turned back to the yard, listening to the music and sitting in contemplative silence. I was grateful he started another conversation.

"So how is the dancing coming along?"

I crossed my legs and leaned further down in the chair. "It's going okay. I practiced a little today and I guess we will see what happens when the time comes." It was still up in the air whether I would be falling flat on my face or not in front of the entire stadium. Luckily we still had a few weeks to practice.

I heard him shift in his seat and I turned to look at him. He seemed to search my face for a moment before asking me a question. "Do you like it?"

"You mean dancing?" He nodded. "Yeah, I really do. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes sense." I swallowed and tried to explain further. "Dancing has always been sort of an escape for me. When life got too hard, I would turn on music and dance. Rosalie and Alice already loved dancing so it brought us even closer together." I couldn't help but smile, thinking of the first few times we danced together. It was almost comical how easily we moved together…the three musketeers.

"When you dance at the games, you seem…." he hesitated and seemed to be searching for a word. "You look _through_ the crowd… and you smile like you are forcing it." He locked eyes with me, and I slightly exposed. I had worked hard to cover how uncomfortable I was in front of crowds, but apparently I hadn't been that successful. "Am I that transparent?" I tried to smile, but I think it came out more like a grimace. Edward looked at me thoughtfully. "Actually, I have a hard time figuring you out most times. You are always surprising me. But when you dance at the games, your smile is different." He shrugged and looked down to his hands. I never realized that he paid that much attention to me.

"I hate dancing in front of crowds…I always have. I do it basically for the scholarship money, but if I could just skip game days that would be so much better." I tried to explain myself further, hoping I was making sense. "I don't like people…well I mean, I don't like strangers…especially men." I gave him an apologetic smile. "I try to just lose myself in the music and block out everything when we perform. Do you think anyone else notices?"

Edward sighed and shook his head slightly. "I seriously doubt anyone can concentrate while you are dancing."

"But you did." My voice was barely above a whisper. He locked his eyes with mine again…his stare was dark and warm. _Green…green was warm._

"Yeah." He broke his gaze and ran a hand through his bronze locks. I decided to take advantage of our openness and ask a question hesitantly. "Edward, why didn't you go home for break?"

He glanced back at me briefly before looking across the yard. The silence stretched on, and I regretted asking the question. Just when I thought he wasn't ever going to answer me, his voice cut through the space between us, soft but very masculine. "I haven't been home in a while. My dad kicked me out before I accepted the position at the university here." He paused and I held my breath, hoping he would continue. "After….after her funeral, I sort of went to a dark place in my mind…and I did a lot of things that I regret and my parents couldn't take that shit anymore." He looked back at me then and I almost gasped at the emotions pouring through him. His next words were just a whisper. "Bella, I am not sure I ever came back from that place."

I have never heard someone sound so lost, except in my own mind. I didn't have many memories of happy families, but I always thought that parents are supposed to love their kids unconditionally. My heart broke for Edward, thinking that his parents were complete fools for letting him go. I automatically reached my hand out and placed it over his, squeezing it lightly. "I am sorry I upset you." I felt like I was about to cry, but I pushed it down. I knew he didn't want to see my tears in this moment. He turned his hand over and squeezed it back. "It's okay. I am going to have to face this shit eventually." I gave him a small smile. "Whenever you are ready, I will be here." He looked from our joined hands, back to my face. The pain was still there, but there was also gratitude. "I appreciate that…more than you know."

Edward took a deep breath and let it out loudly. "Is it alright if I ask you why you didn't go home for break?" I knew that he would probably reciprocate my question, so I wasn't thrown off guard. "This is my home now. I spent most of my teenage years living with Alice and her parents, but I still feel like an outsider when they have family stuff going on." I didn't look at his face, but he held my hand tightly as I continued and that gave me strength. "I grew up in Forks with my mom. I never knew my father; he was never in the picture. Mom died when I was eleven and I was put into the foster care system." I felt my throat seize up, and it was a few moments before I could speak again. "After about a year Alice's family took me in and provided for me, even though they could hardly afford it." I felt brave enough to smile up at him. It wasn't a big smile, but it was all I could manage in that moment. His eyes were focused on me, his face full of nothing but concern and encouragement. "I will always be grateful to them and I thank God I was brought into their lives. They saved my life, but its still just so….hard to be around families. You know?"

Edward gave me a brief, wry smile. "Yeah, I don't really do families anymore either."

I sighed and gave a forced laugh. "So now that we are all depressed, wanna go play with knives or run with scissors?"

He blinked at me a moment, and then leaned back in his chair laughing. It was a deep, rich sound that curled my toes. "I think you and sharp objects should stay far away from each other…always." I tried to look offended and pulled my hand back to slap him lightly on the arm. "Hey! I am not that bad!" That was a joke; we both knew that I really _was_ that bad.

"Oh yeah? How long did you sport that bruise after you ran into the door?" He was referring to the first time we met in the athletic building. "Excuse me Mr. Cullen? I believe it was _you_ who slammed the door into me!" He tried to hide his grin and look at me sternly. "No, you ran into the door. And I will have you know that you made that door give me one heck of a bump on the head too."

I let my mouth drop open in indignation. "I did not!" He looked at me with mock seriousness. "You did. I had a huge lump for days…right here." He pointed to a spot on his unmarred forehead, near his hairline. "It hurt really bad."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh so it's my fault that you were in pain then?" He nodded solemnly and I shook my head, grinning.

"Fine. If you think that I hurt you, then I will fix it so you can stop whining."

I didn't think about what I did. I leaned over in my chair and pressed my lips against his cool forehead. As soon as I made contact, I froze. It was a moment before I pulled away…and in that moment I reveled in his scent. I knew my eyes were wide and my face shocked as I pulled back to see his reaction. _I did not just do that…I did not just do that._

The wave of embarrassment was overwhelming. Edward's face mirrored the shock on my own. His green eyes were wide open, his lips slightly parted. I could feel his breath flow across my face and I started to lean back into my chair. I knew I should be thinking of some excuse or come up with a hasty exit plan, but my mind was crippled with the emotions rolling around inside me.

Before I could move away from him, Edward suddenly reached and cupped my face with both hands. I didn't flinch away, and his eyes looked carefully into mine, as if looking for any sign of fear. I felt a lot of things, but fear wasn't one of them. He seemed satisfied with what he saw. He lowered his eyes briefly to glance at my lips and my heart picked up double time. He stared at me, his gaze penetrating but his touch feather-light. My cheeks felt very warm under his cool touch. He moved in just a fraction of an inch, then stopped. "Bella…" my name whispered from his lips and poured into my soul.

_**Spill Canvas- "The Night Will Go as Follows"**_

He was going to kiss me…and I was okay with that. I was more than okay. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted him to kiss me. I needed him to kiss me. I didn't know what to say…what to do…how to tell him what I wanted. Going on instinct, I reached up and placed my hands on his that were still cupping my face. I licked my lips and tried to tell him with my eyes that I was more than okay.

I saw the recognition filter through his eyes and he gave a ghost of a smile. He rubbed his thumbs across my cheek bones gently, soothing my nerves but doing nothing to stop the racing of my heart. He leaned in infinitesimally. I could feel the electric current floating in the night concentrate in the small space between us. My eyes closed as our noses touched. I felt his lips brush feather-light across mine and I let out a shuttering breath. When he spoke, he was so close his lips moved against mine.

"Is this okay?"

His whisper made me shiver delightfully, and I answered him by pressing my lips against his. He held himself against me for a second, then pulled back a little. I opened my eyes halfway to see him searching my face again. I waited for the panic, hoping that it would never come. I smiled after a moment.

I was still more than okay.

He returned the look, and we were both still smiling when our lips met again. This time he tilted his head and kissed me deeply. I gave in to my secret desire and moved my hands down his solid arms, up his neck and into his soft hair. He let out a quiet moan, and I smiled to myself knowing I was doing something right.

His hands moved from my face and slid down over my shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer to him, our chairs protesting as we strained towards each other. Our kisses became heated and I was lost. I was basking in the indescribable feeling that filled me up, and when he touched his tongue to my lips I tightened my fingers in his hair. He groaned and kissed me one more time before pulling back. I reluctantly released his hair and sat back in my chair, panting like I had run a marathon…but so was Edward so I guess that was okay.

We just sat there in our chairs for the longest time, our heads turned to look at each other. Edward blew out a loud breath and gave me an intense look. "How are you doing?"

I gave him a lazy grin. "I am great. Why did we stop?" He let out a small laugh. "We stopped because if we didn't, I am not sure I would be able to stop at all. I didn't want to make you upset." I bit my lip, remember the last time we almost-kissed. "I feel…good." That was such an inadequate word. "It's not like last time. I didn't feel scared at all."

He looked very relieved to hear it. I looked at my lap then, not sure what I should tell him. "Hey," his voice was soft and concerned. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't meet his eyes. "Edward, I want to tell you about my past…why I am the way I am." I glanced up at him through my lashes briefly. "I just don't know if I can."

He reached out to take my hand gently into his. "You can tell me anything…you can trust me I swear."

I waved my free hand. "It's not that, I trust you…really."

"What is it then?"

It took a moment and a lot of effort, but I finally looked at his face. "I am scared." His eyes tightened. "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of me?"

I shook my head slightly, not breaking eye contact with him. "I am afraid it will change the way you think of me…how you see me."

"Never." His answer was vehement, determined. He spoke without any hesitation. "Never."

I wanted to tell him, I was going to tell him but not on the night of our first real kiss. "I want to tell you everything…but not tonight." I pleaded him with my eyes. "Soon." I promised him. He squeezed my hand and gave me a small smile and I relaxed instantly. Then there was no more talking. We held hands most of the night, forgetting about gazing at the woods in front of us, forgetting about the melting candles on the table. We just looked at each other, our eyes drinking in our fill. Occasionally, I would smile and he would return them. These were full smiles, the kind that reaches your eyes. I knew this week would be the start of a new chapter in our lives…and so far I am really liking this story.

**A special THANK YOU to **_**Eddie's Bella**_**….she is taking LYIO international! My story is going to be read in Belgium. How friggen awesome is that???**

**I love all my reviewers *Squeeze*!**

**Enjoy taking Edward home with you tonight/tomorrow!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay….I think I went into a Twilight coma….**

**I seriously watched it 4 times in 24 hours. I watched it with the commentary and laughed my butt off at Rob's self deprecating comments! He is so friggen cute. Anyone else just LOVE the "Vampire Kiss" reel? Not what I expected but Oh…my God!**

**Oh, and I went to the midnight release "parties" that were listed for my area….they all SUCKED! The only place that was remotely giving an effort was Hot-topic but it was still so stupid. I went to all of them though because I knew if I didn't I would hear something on the news the next day about R. Pattz making a surprise appearance in little po-dunk J-vegas NC….cause that's how my luck works.**

**Check out the songs for this chapter…listen and love them.**

**Gov't Mule- "Soulshine"**

**Stevie Ray Vaughan- "Pride and Joy"**

**Lifehouse- "Storm" (acoustic version)**

**Spill Canvas- Lullaby (used in quite a few fics…but I friggen LOVE this song.)**

Chapter 10

_**E**_

_**Gov't Mule- "Soulshine"**_

I was happy….giddy, even.

I was on cloud numéro _fucking_ nine.

You could not wipe the grin off my face.

I was the happiest I could remember being in a long time….all because I kissed an angel.

I am not usually a sappy person….but after last night I think my whole outlook on life has changed. The house didn't seem so tacky or foreign, it now looked cozy and cheerful. The day wasn't _that_ overcast…hell, I thought I could see the sun just barely hidden, ready to peek through any moment now. And breakfast? Breakfast never looked so good.

Bella smiled over her shoulder at me as she poked at the boiling eggs. She had gotten up before I did, but not long before. I hardly slept at all the night before and at the first sound of her stumbling down the stairs I was up and racing to greet her in the kitchen. She looked so damn cute first thing in the morning, all tousled and sleepy. Her hair was a mess piled on her head and her t-shirt was way too big for her small frame. _Sexy…damn sexy._

She was busy making Eggs Benedict. Eggs-friggen-Benedict….I hadn't tasted that dish since the last time I went to the country-club with my parents. That was more than a year ago. I didn't appreciate it then half as much as I did this morning, watching the complicated process that Bella performed making it in the small kitchen…with bare feet.

_So damn sexy._

Her ever-present dog was sitting next to me, watching her work as well. I reached over and scratched him on the head. That's how fucking happy I was…I was petting the mutt.

Bella placed the finished breakfast in front of me and I grabbed her hand before she could sit down. I was conscientious of my morning breath, so I settled for kissing her little knuckles and smiled my thanks. I waited for the blush to stain her cheeks, and I wasn't disappointed. She gave me a gorgeous smile and then sat next to me to eat.

"What did you want to do today?" I asked…trying not to sound too fucking eager. She smiled shyly up at me. "I didn't have any plans really."

I thought about it for a bit. While I would love to sweep her up and take her all over town, it might be just a tad early for the constant-companion thing. Also, my broke-ass couldn't afford anything too lavish.

"Why don't we go out to dinner tonight? I don't know of any places in this city, so you pick." Dinner was good….dinner was safe, traditional.

She grinned happily and nodded. "What kind of restaurant did you have in mind?"

"Anything you want." I meant it. If she took us to some weird vegan place or some shit, I would choke something down as long as she kept smiling at me like that. She bit her lip and thought about it for a second. "How about seafood? There is a little place on the waterfront I go to. It's not the fanciest place, but the food is good and there is a great view of the water."

I finished swallowing my delicious breakfast and nodded. "Sounds great."

We both agreed to bite the bullet and do some more school work for a while. My thoughts kept wandering and more than once I caught myself jotting down music notes instead of chemical equations. I had one particular song bouncing through my head and I vowed that as soon as Jasper set a foot back in the state I was convincing him to let me get a hold of a piano. There was one at _Volt_ and I knew he practiced there during off hours.

I grabbed my headphones and jammed them on my head, cranking up some blues as loud as I could stand it. The volume did its job and made my mind let go of that melody and concentrate on my work. I was deep in the middle of drawing out the mother-fucker of all chemical bonding diagrams when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I didn't jump…exactly. However, I will fully admit to jerking around quickly in surprise. While I did not expect her, Bella was a welcome sight. She but her lip and gave me a sheepish smile. I yanked off my headphones and smiled at her. "Hey you."

She gestured to the door. "Sorry. I knocked but you didn't answer." I waved off her apologies. "You can come in my room whenever you want."

"I can't stare at my books for another second. I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me."

_You're damn right I do._

"Sure, let me just finish this last problem. I don't want to have to touch this shit for the rest of the day." She laughed lightly in understanding. I waved towards my bed. "You can stay if you want." She smiled and moved to sit on the edge of my bed. It took me a minute…but I managed to drag my eyes from the vision of her sitting on _my_ bed like she belonged there. I started back in on the diagram in front of me, but I listened to the little sounds she made as she looked around my room. I could tell that she got up and was walking, but I concentrated on finishing up my work so I could put it away for the day.

When I was finally done, I turned and saw her pouring over my CD collection. Her fingers reached out and brushed over a disc here and there on the shelves and I wished I could tell which ones they were from here. My curiosity won out. "See anything you like?"

She jerked in surprise at my voice, but her face was all smiles when she looked at me. "You have more music than most stores." I didn't know about all that, but yeah…I had a lot of it. I waited for her to pull one out and hold it up. "I had this same disc, but I accidentally stepped on it." Her voice sounded guilty and I looked at the case she was holding. _Oh man_, she should feel guilty. "You stepped on Stevie Ray Vaughan?"

She blushed again and scrunched her nose as her face grimaced. "Yeah, it was not a good day."

I got up and met her over at the wall of music. "You like Blues?"

"Some of it. My mom listened to Stevie Ray Vaughan a lot when I was growing up. I guess I just got used to hearing it." She shrugged and started to put the CD back, but I stopped her and opened the case, pulling out my other CD from the stereo and putting the new one in. As the first few notes started to play, a small smile crept up on her lips and her eyes slid shut. Her fingers started tapping to the beat on her legs and my head was already bobbing.

I got another one of those crazy fucking impulses and reached out for her hand. She opened her eyes to look up at me, and I grinned while holding her hand up and moving it so that she spun under my arm. I pulled her close to me, putting one hand on her lower back and the other still holding her hand. She grinned back at me as we danced to the upbeat song pouring out of my speakers. After swaying side to side for a few moments, I let go of her waist and we stepped back from each other. Our hands stayed together as we stretched our arms out. She stuck her other arm out dramatically and then giggled as I pulled her, spinning her so that her back was against my chest and then letting her spin back away. We continued our little dance, laughing at how crazy we must look. The song ended but I was reluctant to let her go. I stared down at her smiling face, and I will be damned if I didn't see the reflection of my longing in her eyes. She wanted me to kiss her again, and I was happy to oblige.

This kiss was just as much of a shock as the first one. I couldn't get over how soft her lips were under mine, how easily they moved in sync. When I felt her melt underneath me, and I cupped the back of her head in response, burying my fingers into her glorious hair. God, her hair was so much softer than I could have ever imagined. I wanted to bury my face in it and never leave.

I broke away from her lips and kissed along her jaw, keeping aware of any signs of discomfort from her. When I reached the point where her jaw and ear meet, I was pleased to feel her hands move to my back and then up to my shoulders, pulling me in closer. With that courage, I took a chance and gave her earlobe a little lick. I felt her stiffened slightly and suck in a breath, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not so I pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were open and she was looking at me with a dazed expression. "Too much?" I asked, my voice no more than a hoarse whisper. She blinked a couple of times before answering. "No…I mean, sort of. I didn't expect it…but it was nice."

I moved one hand from her hair to trace a finger along her cheekbone. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." She surprised me by leaning up to place a quick kiss on my lips. "I'm fine. I would like to do that again sometime….if you want to." Her blush came back and she could hardly meet my eyes. I grinned at that. "You bet your ass I want to do that again."

********************************

The movie was my choice. Bella insisted that since she picked out where we were eating dinner it was only fair. I didn't like that argument, but she seemed happy with what I picked out. I had to admit that I wasn't all into dudes dressed up as pirates, but hey, she smiled….what was I supposed to do?

It was nice how we fit together. I sat down first and let her choose how close we would sit. I wasn't going to do anything to make her feel uncomfortable, no matter how fucking bad I wanted it. Wouldn't you know that she just plopped herself down right next to me like she had been there all her life. I draped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close…and there was that smile again. Who knew that I could be this utterly satisfied with just holding a girl?

The movie was over too quickly in my opinion, but we decided to go ahead and get ready for dinner. I made an effort to control my hair, I swear I did…but that shit has a mind of its own. Maybe my clothes made up for it. Bella said that it was a pretty casual place, but I still thought khaki slacks and a navy blue crew neck sweater was appropriate enough. When I stepped out into the hall I thought about turning back around and changing, just in case I was too overdressed for her taste. I halted in my steps when she stepped out from her room. I knew I took in a deep breath, but I don't think I let it out right away.

She looked up at me shyly, her long hair falling over her shoulder. She was wearing a long sweater in a deep green color. It stopped a little ways above her knees, her legs covered by black tights. Little black slippers covered her tiny feet. Each time I see her I think that she can't get more beautiful than the last time I saw her….and I am wrong every damn time.

When I didn't speak, she started giggling. "See anything you like?" She used the words I spoke to her earlier that day, and that made me laugh and break out of my stupor. "Yes, I see something I like…very much." Her blush was back in full force and I didn't even bother trying to stop myself from reaching out and trailing over it with my fingertips.

We didn't say much as we drove to the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set and it threw the cloudy sky into an array of brilliant colors. The east coast may have awesome sunrises, but there is nothing like a west coast sunset. I pulled my Volvo into a metered spot across the street from the restaurant. Before Bella could get out of the car, I dashed over and opened the door for her, offering my hand to help her out. She seemed surprised at the action and her smile almost made _me_ blush. I may have a tarnished reputation, but I will be damned if I was going to let my chivalry go to shit.

Bella liked it, so I was going to keep doing it…simple as that.

I held her soft hand in mine as we crossed the street. The restaurant was situated right on the waterfront and I made sure we were at a table next to the large windows overlooking the bay. Luckily business was slow that night. I suppose it was due to fall break and all. Fine by me, I wanted privacy with Bella. We watched as the sun dipped low in the sky, slowly disappearing. The waiter came by to light the little candle on our table. He leaned a little too close to Bella and I saw her stiffen in reaction. The guy was oblivious to her reaction, or mine for that matter. I shot daggers through my eyes and made sure he backed away as fast as fucking possible when the candle was lit. If I honestly thought the guy was trying to get fresh with my girl, I would have laid him out on the floor without a second thought. Since he seemed to be interested in nothing but lighting the candle I let that lucky mother fucker walk away. What I _did_ do was grab Bella's hand and gave it a small squeeze. I kept my eyes on hers; waiting for her to tell me she was okay. She seemed to relax slightly and after letting out a small breath she smiled at me again. All was right in my world.

She was right, the food was pretty good. I had the mesquite salmon and she had shrimp scampi. We shared food off each other's plates and made small talk by candlelight. It was one of the best meals I could remember. She put up a good fight when the bill came, but I won despite her arguments.

After dinner I asked if she wanted to walk along the waterfront and she nodded excitedly. The night was cool but clear, the moon reflecting on the rippling water next to us. I was worried about her getting too cold, so I took off my leather coat and draped it over her shoulders.

She smiled…and I was too busy melting to feel any of the chilly night air.

We walked on the boardwalk underneath trees draped in white lights. We didn't talk anymore; we just walked in comfortable silence. I was very pleased when her little hand reached out to grab mine.

_**Lifehouse- "Storm"**_

The further we walked, the more isolated we became. When there was no one else in the immediate area, she moved to sit down on a bench facing the water. I sat down next to her, looking for her smile. It wasn't there.

She was staring down at our joined hands and I felt hers tremble slightly in mine. "Bella?" She didn't look up me and the grip on my hand increased. I was confused, and just a little freaked out. "What's wrong?"

She finally looked up at me. There were no tears on her face, but her eyes were shining like the tears were not far away. I reached up with my other hand and cupped the side of her face as if I could keep those tears away. She bit her lip and then let out a deep sigh. "Edward, I want to tell you."

I had a pretty good idea what she wanted to tell me, but I kept my mouth shut and waited for her to continue. I wasn't going to pressure her. If she wanted to tell me about her past I would listen, but if she got too upset I was going to do whatever I could to stop it. She let go of my hand and turned her face away from my hand to stare out at the dark water. I wanted to do the same, to let her talk without staring at her…but I couldn't look away for long. My eyes darted back and forth between the glittering water and her pale face.

"After mom died, I was put in a group home. It wasn't so bad there, really. The kids that I roomed with were quiet and I could read all I wanted to. No one really bothered me.

After a few months I was placed in a foster home. It was my first and last foster placement. I was there for nine months, seventeen days and 5 hours."

When she paused, I got a knot in my stomach. I wished more than anything that I hadn't eaten dinner. Something bad happened in that home and I needed to somehow keep myself together and help her at the same time.

"Nancy and Phil were my foster parents. Nancy was so clueless about everything but her social appearance. She would be at all the community events, PTA meetings, soccer practices…but at home, she was nothing but a drunk zombie. She would come home and as soon as I put dinner down in front of her, she would stop talking, stop listening and just drink until she passed out on the couch. Phil was….he was totally sober, all the time." Her voice was bitter, but the tears hadn't started yet. I wanted to comfort her anyways, but I knew she had to finish all that she could before I could touch her again.

"They had two other foster kids…two boys a little older than me. Seth was great." Her lips twitched up to a smile. "He and I were almost the same age and he always looked out for me…as much as he could anyways. Marcus was older than us, almost sixteen when I first got there." My heart broke as the first tear fell.

"The first time Marcus touched me, I thought it was an accident. I laughed it off and didn't think about it again. The next time, he cornered me in my bedroom and I knew that he meant it. He made sure that I knew that."

I saw red, the moon…the lights…the water…everything was cloaked in a red haze. I was ready to kill someone, but Bella's story wasn't done.

"I was too afraid to tell anyone, but Seth knew. I don't know how, but he knew. He made sure to be around me as much as possible. I was never alone during the day, but at night…" She let out a little choking sob and I automatically reached for her. She shook her head and looked at me with pleading eyes, and I reluctantly dropped my hands.

"Marcus would look at me, and I would know that night he would be coming to my room. I tried to barricade my door, but he would just push his way in anyways. There was one night that I was crying too loud, and Phil walked in.

"He saw Marcus…saw what he was doing to me. I thought it was over, now someone knew and he would have to leave me alone. But Phil just walked in, shut the door and he would…hold me down…"

I felt my eyes stinging with tears and my breath came in and out in ragged gasps. I clenched my hands into fists, desperate to maintain control. I had to stay strong for her, but I wanted to scream, I wanted to fight…I wanted to curl up and cry like I have never cried before.

When I reached for her this time, she didn't push me away. She collapsed into my arms and I wrapped myself around her as tight as I could. She was shaking so hard, her sobs wracking her body. I buried my face into her hair, whispering in her ear. I didn't know exactly what I was saying, but I just kept talking to her. I ran one hand up and down her back, rocking her back and forth. Only when she couldn't see my face…only then did I let my own tears fall.

When her sobs quieted, I pulled back from her just enough so I could take a deep breath. "Bella, is it alright if I ask you some questions?" God help me, I didn't want to upset her more…but I had to know. I felt her nod against me, her face still buried in the crook of my neck. I felt like my sweater was soaked from her tears, but I could give a shit less.

"Did you ever tell anyone what happened?"

She sniffed and turned her face out so I could hear her. "I didn't have to. It wasn't long after that first night that Seth found them with me. He hit Phil with a baseball bat and knocked him out. Marcus took the bat away from him…he beat up Seth pretty bad, but my screams woke up the neighbors. The police came and Marcus was taken into custody, and eventually so was Phil. Seth stayed in the hospital for a few days before being placed in another foster home on the other side of the state. I never saw him again after that night. The next day I went back into the group home. That's when I met Alice."

I pulled back slightly at her change of tone. I was surprised to see a small smile on her face, even as the tears still fell. I used my thumb to wipe them away as much as I could. "Alice was in the group home too?"

She shook her head. "She was volunteering there, more as punishment from her parents for swiping their credit card than anything, but she still put her full effort into her work. Even at twelve years old, Alice was a force to be reckoned with."

I let out a snort at that. I could only imagine Alice as a young teenager.

"I didn't talk to anyone when I came back, but Alice pestered me everyday. She talked when I wouldn't and my day was never silent anymore. One time she brought her boom-box with her and played the newest Paula Abdul tape for me. She danced around the room, spinning and kicking and doing all these elaborate moves in the tackiest outfit I had ever seen. I couldn't help but giggle at her, and it was the first time I had laughed in almost a year. After she saw my reaction, she forced me into dancing with her." She looked up at me with a wry smile on her face. "You can imagine how hesitant I was, given my clumsy nature." I gave her a tight smile in return, not quite able to give her a full one. "Well it took me a while, but when I started dancing, I couldn't stop. Alice and I danced all day long and everyday after that. Even when her volunteer work was over, she came back day after day and we made the silliest dance routines. She eventually brought Rose with her and after I realized she wasn't as scary as she wants people to believe, I got close to her as well.

"One day Alice brought her parents with her. She was telling me how they knew all about me and that they wanted to meet their daughter's new best friend. I didn't know at the time, but they were applying for an application to be my foster parents. They couldn't get a loan to officially adopt me, but the state helped them out being foster parents. The day they took me home was one of the happiest days of my life. They knew about what happened, and none of them ever made me feel uncomfortable. I even became comfortable with Alice's father, but it took me a few years and a lot of couch-time with a therapist."

Her eyes were drying, but full of apprehension. "Is there anything else you wanted to ask me?"

I started to open my mouth and ask her what had been on my mind since she started her story. I desperately wanted to know if those bastards had…raped her. I wanted to know how far their advances went. But one look in those big brown eyes, and I couldn't make myself put pain back into them again this night. "No, love. No more questions." My voice was almost as hoarse as hers was. She looked down at her hands again, and when she spoke I had to lean closer to hear her. "So now that you know, does that change things?"

Her fear was that I would see her differently, that I would reject her based on something horrible that happened to her when she was just a kid. My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that someone had hurt her that badly, that someone had tried to destroy this wonderfully beautiful creature beside of me. I knew if anyone ever hurt her again, I would become a monster…I would kill them with absolutely no remorse.

But that was not now…now she needed me.

"I won't lie to you Bella, things have changed…I do see you differently." She didn't look at me, she just nodded her head somberly, staring at her lap. Her shoulders were hunched and her hair was blocking my view of her face. I reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear before tilting her face towards me. Her eyes were still downcast, and it physically hurt me to see new tears making their way down her face. "Hey," I whispered and waited for her to meet my eyes. "You are so much more beautiful to me now than ever before." Her eyes widened slightly in surprise, and I looked at her with all the intensity I felt inside me. "You are the most beautiful thing in my world, and I really want to kiss you right now…if that's alright with you."

She didn't say anything; she just nodded slowly, eyes still wide. She didn't believe me…so I showed her.

_**The Spill Canvas- "Lullaby"**_

I leaned in and placed a long kiss on her forehead. I moved down and kissed each of her closed, wet eyes. I shifted and kissed one delicate cheek, then the other, kissing her tears away. I kissed her small nose. By the time I reached her lips, she was panting slightly. I pressed my lips against hers lightly, gently. I wanted her to decide how intense this kiss would be, but it took all I had inside me to hold back from ravishing her sweet mouth. I didn't have to wait long. She let out a small whimper and opened her mouth under mine. I didn't need any further invitation. I took her full bottom lip and sucked on it gently. Her hands found their way into my hair and tugged me closer. Her hot little tongue swept across my top lip and it was my turn to whimper.

This was the kiss that trumped all other kisses…not just in my life…but all the kisses throughout time. Our lips caressed each other, and our tongues tentatively danced together. It was sweet, it was beautiful and I never wanted it to end. When we needed to breathe I kept kissing her. I think I kissed every inch of her face as she gasped into my ear. I finally leaned back to look at her face and I was very pleased to see the dazzled look was back, her lips smiling softly and her eyes half-closed. I didn't break my gaze as I brought her hands to my lips, kissing each knuckle gently before turning them over and kissing the center of her palms. She closed her eyes again, but kept the smile. Her cheeks bloomed a delicious shade of red, and I knew that I had affected her as much as she had affected me. I had to pull her against me again; I had to hold her close and reassure myself that she was actually here now, with me, and that she was safe. I wasn't lying to her when I told her she was the most beautiful thing to me. I was quickly turning this one small girl into my whole world. I couldn't say this to her just yet, and I could hardly admit it to myself…

Bella was my life now.

_**B**_

It was late by the time we made our way back home. Edward only let go of my hand long enough to open the door for me or to turn up the heat when I shivered. Every now and then he would catch me staring at him and he would smile and run his finger along my cheek or kiss my hand. His fast driving didn't get my heart beating as fast as the loving looks he would send my way.

I was falling in love, if I wasn't already there. I never knew that it could feel like this. I have seen both of my best friends fall in love quickly and passionately but I thought it was just how they were. I didn't believe that there were such intense feelings when you found the person you wanted to spend all your time with. I felt completely relaxed for the first time in my life, like I didn't have to live with disappointment anymore. I had accepted the fact that I was not going to be able to have a normal relationship or share my past with anyone besides my closest friends. I never counted on Edward coming into my life.

I told him everything, all the deepest darkest things I had been afraid of for so long…and he still wanted me. The kiss we shared was beyond amazing. I had never considered myself to be a person of great beauty, but I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world when Edward looked at me like that. I knew he was upset about what I told him, but he was upset _for_ me and not _at_ me. It opened up so many possibilities. I didn't want to consider a relationship with him because I thought as soon as he knew about what happened to me he would run away. But here he was, taking my hand again and smiling at me as he helped me out of the car.

We walked into a dark house and I flipped on the small kitchen light above the sink. Jake padded into the room and came to greet us. Edward opened up the door to let him outside and I was once again amazed when Jake let him scratch his ears.

Edward looked up and saw me smirking at him. "What?" I shook my head and laughed. "My dog has good taste." Edward rolled his eyes and just opened the door back up when Jake scratched at it.

We stood there in the dark living room and if he was feeling like I was, I didn't want the night to end quite yet. I wasn't ready to say goodnight and lose this feeling, but I couldn't help the yawn that snuck up on me.

"It's late, you should get some sleep." He sounded as regretful as I felt, so I took another chance. "Edward? Do you think…you might stay with me tonight?" I bit my lip as I waited for his answer, my face feeling hot. He regarded me for a moment, looking unsure. I jumped to explain further. "I really would like to have you with me tonight, just to sleep." I kind of wished I hadn't said anything, but I already poured my heart out to him, so what's the worst that could happen with this request?

He stepped forward and took my hand back in his, looking directly into my eyes. "Are you sure? I would like that more than anything and I promise to keep my hands to myself, but I won't do anything you aren't comfortable with." I gave him a small smile. "Well, I was hoping you could keep your hands on me at least a little bit. I like being in your arms, and I really don't think I can wait until tomorrow." My confidence grew as his crooked grin came back. He moved in for a quick kiss and then led me towards the stairs.

I changed into my pajamas…just a simple black t-shirt and dark blue pants. I managed to convince Jake to lie on his own bed on the floor and give up the other half of the human bed. Edward tapped gently on my door and I let him in, nervous but ready to have him hold me again. He had changed as well and he was wearing black pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. We didn't say anything as we climbed into my bed and under the covers. I lied on my side looking at him, unsure of what to do next. Edward decided for me and pulled me in close to him. My head naturally rested on his shoulder and my body fit against him perfectly. He placed a kiss on top of my head and played with my hair with one hand. The other hand traced patterns on my bare arm that was draped over his muscular chest.

I was already on my way to unconsciousness, but his quiet humming helped me along. I recognized the song he was singing and I wondered if he knew that it was one of my favorite songs. I reminded myself to ask him in the morning, right now I was too busy being utterly and completely content.

**So, I hope Bella's story didn't come off too cliché. I want her to be strong, but to have deep emotions beneath the surface.**

**As for Edward, while JERK-ward can be totally sexy sometimes, it's nice to write him as the Edward Cullen we all know and love! **

**Please let me know what you think of it…I am really apprehensive about posting this chapter. I didn't get a lot of response to the last chapter, but I will chalk that up to people not coming up for air while watching Twilight over and over again…like me!**

**My songs are on my profile of course. I threw in a semi-Lullaby…because I am getting tired of the same old piano one in all these stories. He did not write that song for her…just hummed it to her as she fell asleep.**

**Spill Canvas is one of my Favorite Bands EVER and they will be all in this story, so get used to it! **

**Get me motivated, because next chapter brings the roommates back home….will they let everyone know about their relationship???**


	11. Chapter 11

**Holy……CROW! I can't believe how many reviews I got with this chapter! I mean I lost count at 30…which is a lot for one of my stories! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I giggled and clapped and bounced around the room (sound like a certain pixie we all know and love?)**

**Someone noticed that Edward's language is cleaning up….good catch! Yes Cussward is filtering out a little. He wants to be a better person for Bella…he just may not consciously know it. **

**Onto the fun!**

**Songs:**

**Secondhand Serenade- "Vulnerable"**

**Josh Kelley- "Only You"**

**Chapter 11**

_**B**_

**Secondhand Serenade- "Vulnerable"**

The next two days were the happiest days I have had in a long time. Edward and I didn't do much, really. We spent most of our time in front of the TV or sitting on the porch, weather permitting. I felt so comfortable with his touches and kisses, although he still kept the pace very slow. I loved how gentle he was with me, how he held me like I was just a fragile little human. We spent both nights together in my room. Waking up next to him each morning made my heart swell almost painfully. How did I ever sleep without him?

Edward never brought up the subject of my past again and for that I was grateful. I was very glad to have him know everything, but I didn't want to ruin the rest of our break together with more emotional breakdowns. I only hoped he felt comfortable enough to confide in me one day.

It was Saturday afternoon and we were once again on the couch watching a movie. It was some sort of alien movie, but we weren't really paying attention to it. We tried to at first, but one of us would steal a glance at the other person and it went all downhill from there. Edward cupped my face gently and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. He didn't kiss me for the longest time; he just held me close and stared at me with hooded eyes and a sleepy grin. I traced his lips with my fingertips; they were so soft and I bit my own lip remembering how they felt against my tongue. Edward's control must have ended at that point, because he let out a little growl and took my bottom lip out of my teeth and into his mouth.

I let him work on my lip for a second, but then I took control. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him even closer, angling my head to deepen the kiss. I tried not to smile when I heard his moan. I think I am getting good at this whole making-out thing. I was caught off guard when he gently pushed me onto my back, stretching out over me. He pulled back from my lips to look at my face. I smiled to let him know that I was okay and he leaned back down to rain kisses along my jaw. I pulled on his shoulders to bring him closer. I needed to feel him against me. He felt so tense, like he was trying to keep his weight off of me. I wasn't having any of that. I reached up with my legs and hooked them over his hips to pull him down. He must have not been expecting that. He fell into me and we both froze.

Every inch of Edward was pressed against me, and while I thought I should be having some sort of panic attack, all I could do was let my eyes roll back in my head and groan. Edward moved his lips to my ear. "Are you okay?" I answered him by reaching up and giving him a little nip on the neck. "Jesus!" He tightened his arms around me and I smiled as I kissed up to his ear. He was practically panting in my hair and didn't move until I got to his ear. "Edward..." I whispered.

He turned his face and attacked my lips again. It was not hurried, but there was definitely more passion behind that kiss. It involved lips, tongue, teeth and I never wanted to move from that spot.

We were very rudely interrupted by the buzzing of my cell phone on the coffee table next to us. I groaned when I heard "Just Dance" blast through the room. "Damn." I muttered against Edward's lips. He moved his lips down my neck, making my head fall back and my fingers to tighten on his shoulders. "Ignore it," he pleaded with me.

God, I wanted to. "It's Alice, she will freak out if I don't answer." Edward groaned and said a few curses under his breath, but he reached over and handed the annoying phone to me. I flipped it open and pressed it to my ear as I sat up. "Hey Alice."

"Bella! How are you doing? I miss you! Did you practice any routines this week? Are you getting along with Edward? Do you..."

Someone yanked the phone away from the babbling girl. Thank God.

"Hey Bells, pick one of those questions and answer it." Rose was trying to talk over a protesting Alice in the background. I laughed lightly at their antics. "Tell her I am doing just fine, and go ahead and put her out of her misery and let her know yes, I did practice this week."

Rosalie repeated what I said to Alice and I heard her telling Rose to ask why I didn't answer the question about Edward. I flushed and was glad they couldn't see me. Edward wasn't helping any. He was busy smiling at me with his sexy half-grin and lightly running his fingers up and down my bare arm.

"Edward and I are getting along great." Now that was an understatement if I have ever heard one.

"Well good, we wouldn't want to come home tonight to a bloodbath or anything."

I stood up abruptly and stumbled back down onto the couch before I could take a whole step. Edward had reached out to steady me, but I batted his distracting hands away. "What? Did you say _tonight_? I thought you were coming back Sunday night."

"Yeah well, you know how Forks can be. We are bored out of our minds. I am going to call Emmett and see if he wants to blow off Seattle a night early. We should all be home by nine or so."

I leaned forward and put a hand to my forehead. They were coming back…tonight…._all of them_. Crap! I had looked forward to another twenty four hours alone with Edward, but now we had a problem.

"Bella? You still there? Everything okay?"

I swallowed and tried to keep the guilt out of my voice. "Yeah Rose, I am here. Everything is great." I looked over at Edward and saw that he had a very sour look on his face…almost a pout. That was so cute.

"I guess we will see you later tonight then."

"Yeah, you two drive carefully and I will save dinner for you," I promised her. After we hung up I sighed. "Well, looks like break is over."

Edward leaned back on the couch and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, guess so." We were both silent for a few moments, then I forced myself to start the conversation. "What are we going to tell them?"

Edward thought silently for a bit. "Well, I guess it just depends on how much you _want_ to tell them." How was I supposed to do that? _"Welcome home guys! Oh, by the way Edward and I have been making out the entire time you were gone. Not to mention we have slumber parties together in my bedroom every night!"_

Right…not happening.

"Edward, I am not even sure _how_ to describe us. What are we exactly?"

Edward took my hand and gave me a grimace. "Well calling us boyfriend and girlfriend sounds so damn…high school." Yeah, when he said it out loud it really did. "But whatever we are, you need to know that this isn't just some _thing_, Bella. It's just you and me as far as I am concerned." He kissed the back of my hand and dazzled me with his smile again. After I remembered to breathe I nodded. "I know what you mean."

So, we got that out of the way. My smile had to be goofy but I didn't care. Who cares what Alice or Rosalie thought? They were my friends, they would understand…eventually. Besides, Alice had Jasper and Rosalie had…

"Emmett!" I almost shrieked his name. Edward jumped at my tone and reflexively looked over his shoulder to see if our roommate had snuck in while we were staring at each other. "Edward, Emmett is going to kill you!" He wouldn't literally kill Edward…I don't think. But Emmett would be irate and there was no denying that. Even Edward realized it. "Shit, you are right….I'm a dead man." I could have sworn Edward went a little pale thinking about it. This was not good. "We can't say anything. What if you guys got in a fight? What if you get kicked off the team?" I grasped both his hands in mine. "What if Rosalie takes apart your engine in the middle of the night?"

Edward looked like he was in a daze. I am sure all those scenarios were playing through his head… and they were all realistic possibilities. He shook his head resolutely. "Bella, I am not ashamed of us. If they can't accept it then I will deal with the fall-out."

I felt an overwhelming emotion come over me at his declaration, but I couldn't let him put himself out like that. "No, I don't want you to get in any trouble and I don't want to tear this house apart. If they don't accept us, then it would be us against them." He looked at me sharply, almost astonished. I meant every word. They were my family, but Edward….he was something more.

"Let's just keep it to ourselves for a while, at least until they get more comfortable with you and we can ease them into it." I hoped he knew that this wasn't my ideal choice, but I didn't see any other way around it. He shook his head again and I could see him already thinking of a protest, so I cut him off. "Look at it this way...sneaking around could be a lot of fun too." I hoped my teasing tone took some of his frustration away.

Edward blinked at me for a second, and then let out a breathy laugh. "Sneaking around, huh?" I smiled a little and nodded. He smiled bigger and leaned closer to me. "So does that mean our…sleeping arrangements stay the same?" I felt my heart pound louder for every inch closer he moved. "I would really like that," I whispered. He focused his eyes on my lips, and I licked them in anticipation. "Maybe you have a point…this could be a little fun." He talked against my lips and I felt my breath coming in and out a little faster. Finally, he quit torturing me and closed in the distance. Our lips tangled together again and I wanted more than anything to pull him down on top of me again. "We need to stop before we get caught on the first night." I don't know how I managed to be the voice of reason in that moment. Edward stole a few more kisses and then reluctantly leaned away. "You'll be the death of me, Bella Swan." I grinned up at him and got up to start dinner. "Not if I can keep Emmett away from you."

***************

The group trickled in a few hours later. Alice and Rose both crushed me in hard hugs and talked a mile a minute about what they did over break. I was nodding and smiling at their excitement when Edward walked into the kitchen. I think we were all surprised when Alice ran over to him and hugged him lightly. The look on his face was priceless. It took him a minute to reach down and return the hug and the stunned look really didn't leave his face for a while.

"How was your break, Edward?" Alice asked cheerfully. Edward stuffed his hands in his pocket and managed to only give me a brief glance before he answered. "Good, it was really good." I turned to the stove, biting my lip to keep my smile in check. Rosalie didn't bother to hug him, but she did give him a head nod and a "what's up". We really couldn't have asked for more than that.

Just as dinner finished reheating, Emmett charged in. It was amazing how his internal dinner bell chimed at just the right time. Of course he grabbed up Rosalie first, dipping her back and giving her one hell of a "hello". Alice sighed and rolled her eyes and Edward and I smirked at each other. I didn't know about him, but I couldn't wait until he and I could greet each other like that. I blushed just thinking about it.

Finally, the hug-machine made its way to me. "Bells! Did you miss me?" I gasped as his arms squeezed me. "I can't tell you if you crush me!" When he finally let go and stepped back, I saw Edward had taken a couple of steps closer to me. His eyes were narrowed, but after seeing I was not harmed, he relaxed his stance. Emmett caught me looking at Edward and he turned to shake his hand. "Edward, how's it going man?" Emmett looked at me even as he was still shaking Edward's hand. "Did he behave himself, Bells?"

I let out a little choking sound, but tried to hide it in a cough. "Yeah…of course he did….perfect gentleman." Edward shook his hand out a little when Emmett released him.

Ugh, men.

"Alright let's eat!" Emmett clapped his hands together and sat at the table, pulling Rose down onto his lap. Alice made gagging noises at them. "Hey," Rose arched an eyebrow at her, "Don't even tell me it won't be just as bad when Jasper gets back tomorrow." Alice's chin rose indignantly. "Jasper and I have a more subtle connection, thank you very much." It was true, sometimes they were lost in their own little world and so many emotions could be seen just from a look. I would like to think Edward and I were somewhere in between those two extremes.

We all sat at the table, chatting about our week. Alice asked me what I had practiced during break. "I mostly worked on the 'Faded' routine since the ending has been giving me so many problems." I told her in between bites.

"Well Rose and I were talking about that on the drive back. How would you feel if we didn't fall into other people's arms when we do the back hand-spring, but instead we just leaned back on one hand with the other raised above us?"

I thought about the scenario for a moment. It seemed like I would feel more in control that way at least. "Maybe…can we run through a few sets tomorrow?"

We agreed to give it a try tomorrow morning. "But we really need to concentrate on the 'Right Round' routine, because that's the one we are doing for the next game."

We had already gone to the stadium field and practiced our new hip-hop routine a few times, so I wasn't very concerned with it. I knew that tomorrow would be more of a catch-up day with my girls than anything else.

I looked from between Emmett and Edward. "Are you two going to practice any tomorrow?" Emmett answered me. "Yup. We can't have our star quarterback slacking off!" Edward chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Can we practice early? I have some errands I need to run later."

"Sure thing, man." I was please that Emmett didn't push Edward for details. I knew Edward hated to be watched all the time.

I saw more than one yawn floating around the table. I slid my eyes over to Edward and saw he was watching me again. I wanted to be in his arms as I fell asleep again tonight, but with our roommates present I began to think that would be impossible. We both agreed to keep our relationship to ourselves for now, but we may be losing some time together until we went public.

"Well, I am going up to bed. See you guys in the morning." They all said goodnight to me, but only Edward's gaze lingered. I tried to read what he was telling me, but I didn't want to call attention to us so I reluctantly stepped out of the room.

The conversations in the kitchen started up as I climbed the stairs. After I changed and got in to the bed, I heard steps on the staircase and doors closing…including Edwards. I rolled onto my side, away from the door I had been staring at for half an hour. I had a feeling that we wouldn't be able to see each other tonight, but it still left me hurting. I felt like crying, but I told myself that it was silly and I could find some time with him tomorrow…two days at the most.

Two days felt like a lifetime.

***********************

I jolted awake when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. The scream built up in my chest, but only a strangled sound came from my mouth. My heart beat painfully against my chest and my breaths were already coming in panicked gasps.

"Shhh, Bella….its me." Edward's velvet-smooth whisper breathed into my ear and I almost sobbed at the sound. He ran a hand over my hair and murmured calming words until my breathing returned to normal. I closed my eyes and breathed a deep sigh before allowing myself to melt against him. His chest was pressed close to my back and the heat off his body relaxed me even further.

"God, I am so sorry. I didn't even think….it was so stupid of me to just come in here…"

I reached up and wrapped my hand around his. "No, I am glad you came. Usually Jake lets me know when someone comes in the room."

"Yeah, he just looked up at me and laid back down."

Sure enough, Jake was on the floor…big, goofy-dog grin in place. I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, "Slacker."

I rolled over in Edward's arms so I could face him. He was still looking guilty, so I gave him a big smile. "I didn't think you were coming tonight." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and ran his fingers down my jaw-line. "I waited for Emmett to start snoring before I attempted my black-ops mission."

I giggled quietly. "Black-ops huh? Was it dangerous…sneaking over enemy lines?" He rolled his eyes and grinned down at me. "Oh yeah, I didn't think I was going to be able to get through those three steps from my door to yours."

I snuggled contently into his chest. "What about tomorrow morning?"

"I will be out before they wake up."

I didn't ask how he was planning on accomplishing that, I was just glad he was here now.

"Goodnight, my Bella."

*************************

The next day I woke up alone, but I smiled anyways. Edward snuck out sometime during the early morning hours, just like he promised. The pillow next to me still had the indent where his head occupied and I buried my face into it, breathing in his scent. I felt like jumping on my bed and singing as loud as I could, but that would alert the whole house to some seriously unusual behavior. This whole sneaking-around thing could be more exciting than I thought.

I beat everyone to the kitchen, as usual. I thought for their first day back from break I would make everyone biscuits and gravy. The smells from the oven brought everyone down within minutes. Rosalie and Emmett stumbled sleepily into their chairs at the table. Alice did a little spin as she came into the room, stopping momentarily to kiss me on the cheek. It wasn't unusual to see her so energetic first thing in the morning, but I knew the extra bounce in her step was excitement at seeing Jasper again.

Edward wasn't far behind her and he looked sleepy as well, but when he caught my eye he slowly smiled. I melted right there in the kitchen. I had never seen anything sexier than rumpled and sleepy Edward Cullen. He joined our roommates at the table and was mostly ignored…except by Alice. She and I locked eyes for a second and I realized I still had a huge grin on my face. I couldn't hide it fast enough and she darted a look over at Edward, who was staring at his empty plate, a goofy smile still on his lips. My face burned and I started getting a little panicked. She had that creepy, knowing look in her eyes and I thought our secret was going to be discovered already. Alice didn't say anything; she just smirked at me and offered Edward some orange juice. I sighed quietly, but I knew I would be cornered by her later.

I managed to get through breakfast without giving myself away again and we separated to practice for a few hours. I was sure that Alice would bring up Edward during our time in the work-out room, but she just smiled secretively at me every now and then when Rose wasn't looking. I should probably be worried, but if she wasn't going to tell Rose, then she probably wasn't going to tell Emmett.

The new ending to our routine was better than having someone catch me, but I was still wobbly on the landing. I loved dancing, but acrobatics were not my strong point. Since I was one of the shorter ones on the team they depended on me to balance things out for the ending, and I was determined not to let them down.

When we were done, Emmett told us that he and Edward had practiced some plays in the backyard, but that Edward had gone out for the next few hours. I didn't ask where he went but I had a feeling it had something to do with schoolwork. Jasper was the only person I knew he hung out with outside the house.

Jasper came by the house by dinner, but Edward was still not home. Everyone broke into their respective couples for the night and I decided to write a little more before bed. When I was too tired to write anymore, I crawled into bed….wondering where Edward was.

He tapped on the door before he came in my room this time. Jake let out a little 'woof' when he heard the knocking, but I quickly quieted him. Edward grinned at me and immediately moved beneath the covers, pulling me up against his chest. I smiled and snuggled into his neck. I kissed his slightly stubbled skin and he returned the favor to the top of my head. We didn't talk at all, we just breathed in each other's scent until we faded into sleep.

_**E**_

The nights were fucking fantastic…but the days were nothing but torture. I would have to keep my distance, try to not watch Bella's every move. We were never alone for a minute and I don't know if they were doing it on purpose or if it was just more annoying than usual because all I wanted was to grab her and lean her over the kitchen table. Holding her during the night was great, but I always kept things pretty tame. I did not want to get all lustful while we were trapped under covers. She wasn't remotely ready for what I was thinking about while she was in my arms.

Classes and practices had resumed for all of us. I was still tickled to see Newton practice, but shooting me glares the entire time. The team worked with me flawlessly. As long as we didn't psych ourselves up, the upcoming game would be no problem. Any spare time I had during the day after school and football was spent at _Volt_. Jasper introduced me to the owner and we worked out a deal; I could practice at the club during closed hours and I would give at least two performances in the next couple of months. The thought of getting up in front of anyone to sing and play scared the ever-living shit out of me, but I was too invested now. My motivation was beginning to outweigh my apprehension. I still wasn't sure that I wouldn't freeze when the time came, but I would do my damnedest not to.

It was dinner time in the middle of the week and I was fucking thrilled that when I walked into the kitchen, it was just me and Bella.

_Hot damn!_

She turned around from the sink and her smile split open the heavens. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and tried to tell her all I was feeling with my eyes. I started walking to her with fucking purpose…only two steps away…

"Hey Bells! Need any help with grub?" Emmett charged into the room and I did an about-face to the refrigerator. My teeth felt like they were going to break under my clenching jaw. I opened the fridge and stared inside, not really seeing what was in front of me. _So damn close!_ My hands flexed against the handle, wishing my fingers were tangled in the hair, gripping the back of her head as I dove into her mouth.

_Fuck! Shit! Goddamn cock-blocker!_

Said cock-blocker thumped me on the shoulder. "Hey Eddie, grab a brother a drink while you are in there, will ya?"

I grabbed a can of something and handed it to him. I took a chance and glanced over at Bella. She was leaning against the counter, staring out through the window into the dark backyard. It was slightly mollifying to see her cheeks were flushed and her breathing was a little erratic. I wasn't the only one with frustrations I see.

The rest of the group tromped in and the table was piled high with Bella's awesome cooking. It was spaghetti night, and I was having a problem. My food remained mostly untouched because I made the ultimate damn mistake…I was Bella-watching again.

She laughed at something Alice said and twirled the last bit of her pasta around her fork. My eyes tracked that forkful of food up to those soft, full lips. A single noodle trailed out of her lips and she puckered them to draw that noodle slowly in. After she swallowed she swept the sauce off her lips with her tongue….and I slammed my hand down on the table.

Of course everyone stopped what the hell they were doing and stared at the crazy guy. "Sorry," I mumbled, just barely catching the clueless look on Bella's face. That made it even worse….she had no _clue_ how fucking sexy she was doing pretty much anything.

Bella got up from the table first and put her dishes in the sink. Of course I watched her…I couldn't help it anymore. A soft barking noise came from upstairs and she looked at the ceiling. "Shoot. Jake must have locked himself in the room again." She stalked towards the kitchen door, tripping a little over the rug. Jasper was in the middle of one major story…something involving drinking during a Civil War reenactment. Perfect. No one gave me a second look as I left the kitchen.

_**Josh Kelley- "Only You"**_

Bella was just coming back down the stairs when I came flying around the corner. I didn't pause for a second…I grabbed a hold of her hand and basically dragged her into the work-out room. Her gasp of surprise was quickly cut off as I pushed her against the wall and slammed my lips over hers….all before the door even clicked shut. I cupped the back of her head to keep it from hitting the wall as I ravaged her. Her lips curled up into a smile and I couldn't help but to grin also. We pulled back gasping for breath and she giggled as my lips moved all over her face.

I groaned as her fingers dug into my shoulders, pulling me against her even harder. She was gasping for breath and I covered her mouth with mine to quiet her whimpers. It was a toss-up as to whose tongue worked the hardest. My toes were fucking curled up in my shoes. Days worth of stored-up make out time poured out between us and I couldn't help it…I got as hard as a rock.

I pulled back gasping and probably cursing…I didn't even know at that point. Bella's hot little mouth moved along my throat hesitantly and I rubbed circles on her back in encouragement. Oh yeah, I liked that shit…a lot. But we needed to stop before I took her right here on the workout mat.

I moved my face back down, but this time I just rested my forehead against hers. Our breath mingled as we fought to control ourselves…but I knew I was going straight to the shower right after this. I peeked down at her and almost lost it again. Her lips were swollen and red, parted slightly under her heavy breathing. Her eyes were closed, the dark lashes spread out on flushed cheeks. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and it killed me to push away from her.

I walked across the room and looked out the window into the night. I got my breathing under control and heard her gasping slow down. It became almost painfully silent in the mostly empty room. Then her whisper echoed over to me.

"Wow."

That made me laugh. "'Wow' does not even begin to cover it."

I turned around and gave her a _very_ satisfied grin. Bella was leaning back against the wall, smiling dazedly and looking like she was trying not to slide down. I walked over and pulled her upright, supporting her until her knees quit knocking enough to support her.

_Yep, I fucking did that._

We looked each other over and I tried to smooth her hair down as much as possible. She was busy straitening out my shirt, which she was previously clutching like a life raft. She gave me a shy look and giggled. "I don't think I am going to be able to go back in there and keep a straight face." I shrugged, "There is no way in hell I am going anywhere but to a nice, cold shower." Bella turned bright red, but her smile turned a little…cocky. _Sly little vixen_.

I cracked open the door and peeked out. All clear. I gave one last look to Bella and kissed her one the forehead. "See you later tonight." I didn't wait for her to respond. My happy ass had a date with an ice-shower.

**Man, I am spoiling you guys. But when I get a ton of reviews it motivates the crap outta me! I am so excited for the next few chapters, but don't expect the roomies to find out any time soon…especially Emmett. Also, things are going to get busy over the next few days so please be patient for an update.**

**I love that Josh Kelley song…all his songs really. Click on the link in my profile to hear it and just imagine how playful and sneaky they are. That's what I pictured when this song came up on my playlist. I smiled while writing it, and I hope you are while reading it.**

**Oh, and if you didn't know Alice's ring tone was Lady Gaga's "Just Dance".**

**I had one super cool chic add me as a friend on Myspace…feel free to do the same!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm on FIRE!**

**Disclaimer: I own ideas and I wish I could make money off of them.**

Chapter 12

_**E**_

_**Muse- "Hysteria"**_

I stood on the sidelines, listening to the chanting of the stadium and letting the noise drown out all my thoughts. It was going to be our last home game for a while and I was determined to go on the road with a winning streak. The kicking team launched the ball down the field…game on.

Emmett pounded on my helmet as he moved past me. I grinned and watched him round up the defensive team. One of the coaches ushered me to the nets to warm up my arm some more. I kept one eye on the team as they held off the competition. The defense kept the other team from scoring, but we needed to really push to get good field position again.

The guys switched up and it was time for me to take the field. I trotted onto the turf, allowing myself a glance to the entrance tunnel. Bella, Alice and Rosalie were leaning up against the wall watching the game in their costumes. Bella had her hands stuffed into the pockets of the black shorts that came to her knees. All of them had hip-hop clothes to match their routine, and I had thoroughly enjoyed the show they put on for the team last night. Their practice was flawless as usual and I knew they would do just as great today.

Bella saw me looking at her and she grinned and waved. I gave her a quick wave in return and then focused on the game in front of me. I gave a few signals to the receivers and then crouched into position. The line broke and bodies dashed everywhere. I looked down the field and saw that Eric was barely open. I debated for a second on whether I should take the chance or not, but I didn't get to where I was without a few risks. I narrowed my eyes and shot the ball downfield, way before any of the other team's defense could get near me. The ball bounced off the receiver's outstretched hands and flipped in empty air momentarily. I held my breath and watched tensely as Eric dove for the ball and pulled it close to his body before hitting the ground.

I jumped up in the air and shouted in victory. The stadium echoed my cheers and the offense came over to join me in the huddle. I shouted out a few instructions and we dashed into line. The play clock counted down as I glance from one end of the line to other. We went into play with one second left. I danced backwards and looked over to my right. The intended receiver was being swamped by defensive players and my backup receiver was nowhere near where I needed him to be.

I had just taken my first step into running the ball when I got sacked. I hit the ground hard but held onto the ball. I will be damned if they get a fumble out of me. The stadium groaned at our loss of yards, but I was back on my feet and looking over at the coach, relaying the next play to the rest of the team. This time when I was passed the ball I ran straight forward. I didn't as much as I did feel the blockers move alongside of me, pushing the defense clear of my path. I kept my eyes on the field and glanced sideways for any approaching obstacles.

It felt like I was moving too slowly and I was very fucking pissed to feel someone tackle my legs from behind. I fell forward but kept my arms outstretched and my fingers gripping the ball tightly. When the whistle blew signaling the end of the play, I hopped up and looked over to the sidelines. The chains were brought out for measuring and the cheers told me that we made the first down. Emmett was over on the sidelines pumping his fist and jumping up and down. He looked over and pointed at me, grinning. I returned the grin and pointed back at him.

We moved into two more plays. The first one was a long throw down to the ten yard line. It was almost too easy to toss the ball to Eric for a touchdown after that. The extra point kick was good and the Huskies were leading seven to zero.

In the locker room at half time we were still leading, but only by three. I had pulled the offense to the side to give them my two-cents. The coaches took over and I sat back to relax for a few minutes. A tap on my shoulder had me turning and come face-to-face with Emmett. He grinned and held a finger to his lips, dragging me off the bench and out of the locker room. Luckily we were close to the door so I don't think anyone noticed our sneaky-asses leaving.

I didn't have to ask where we were going. Even though we saw their performance last night I was more than fucking happy to see it again. We moved to the end of the tunnel, Emmett just slightly in front of me. I almost ran into him as he stopped suddenly and stiffened. "Aw, _shit!_"

"What?" I tried to move past him. I heard familiar music playing and I thought we had missed the show. Emmett turned and looked at me before I could take another step. His face was grim. "Dude, I am going to have to bail Rose out of jail tonight."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally moved around him and saw what had made him so tense. The cheerleading team was finishing up their routine…and Emmett was right, Rose was going to shit ponies.

_**B**_

Alice took one last glance at the mirror before turning to me. "Okay Bella, time to shine!" I kept the groan inside. I hated make-up time. Rose moved past us to the locker room door. "I'm going to see Emmett real quick," she sang as she walked out. Alice laughed at her. "You would think that she didn't just see him a few hours ago." I rolled my eyes --- carefully since she was putting mascara on my eyelashes. "Please Alice, like you wouldn't go run to see Jasper right now if you could." Alice had the decency not to deny it, but her smile did turn calculating. "And what about you? Is there someone that you wouldn't mind seeing real soon?"

I flushed and looked away from her penetrating stare. "I don't know what you are talking about." I hated lying to Alice, and I really wasn't any good at it. Alice sighed and put away her makeup. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right Bella?"

I felt a rush of warmth coming over me. I loved Alice to death, she really was my best friend. But this was all too new and I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet….even to her. "I know Alice, thanks." I gave her a warm smile and she pulled me into a hug. We were interrupted by the locker room door slamming open. We broke apart to see Rosalie standing in front of us; hands clenched and her face a scary shade of scarlet. Her breath was gasping and her whole body was practically vibrating.

"_Fucking shit! Stupid….skanky ass….goddamn whores_!"

Rose was sputtering and having one hell of a meltdown. Alice and I each grabbed an arm to keep her from imploding. "What the hell is going on Rose?" Alice screeched. Rose didn't answer us; she simply turned and dragged us out of the locker room. We moved at a clipped pace to the tunnel entrance with me stumbling almost the whole way. I was momentarily pleased to see Edward standing next to Emmett, but when he saw me he didn't smile. He and Emmett both had a look of apprehension on their faces. My smile slowly slipped away and I almost jumped at Alice's shriek. "_Shit!_"

Alice never cursed…_never_. I followed their line of sight to the cheerleading team. My voice sounded just as angry as the other girl's. "I second that 'shit'! What the fuck is happening?" Emmett turned to me with a shocked look on his face. "Language, Bells…geez." I ignored him and watched the growing mess that was falling around us.

The cheerleaders were dressed in black shorts that came down to their knees and white tank tops….just like we were. If that wasn't bad enough they were doing dance moves that were painstakingly familiar to the song that was supposed to be playing for us.

Rosalie was being held back by Emmett. "Those sluts stole our routine!"

I couldn't believe it. They must have been watching our practices…for quite a while. While the moves weren't exactly the same, it was enough that there was no way we could go out and perform right after them. I turned to Alice as the stadium cheered for the finishing dance. "Alice? What should we do?" She was somehow pale and flushed at the same time. Her jaw was clenched and I was almost more worried about what she would do rather than Rosalie. Finally, she turned to me and Rose. "Okay, go back to the locker room and tell the others what happened. Change into your blue pants and white Husky shirt and tell them we are doing the 'Faded' routine."

Emmett leaned over to us, keeping one eye on Rosalie. "Isn't that the one you guys were still working on?" I stole a glance at Edward and saw that he was looking at me. He knew my concerns with the ending of that routine. Alice sighed, "We really don't have much of a choice. This night is going to be pretty important to some of the other girls." I narrowed my eyes. "Alice, what aren't you telling us?" She looked down at her shoes for a second. "There is a scout in the audience."

"What?" Rosalie shouted. I jumped and winced at the volume of her voice. The stadium had quieted down, which meant the cheerleaders were done and heading off the field. Alice tried to explain herself. "I didn't want to tell anyone. I knew the whole team would be tense and dancing is too important to a lot of those girls to ruin it over nerves."

I saw her point, but it definitely made skipping a night impossible. We had to do some sort of dance, even if it wasn't perfect. Alice looked at me then. "Bella, instead of doing the backhand spring, you can just do a spin and kneel next to us." I shook my head. "You know that won't look right. We need three people doing the backhand springs…and I have practice them more than anyone else. I can do it."

Rosalie and Alice looked to each other. "Okay, let's get going. I will go get Jasper to run up to Jeremy in audio to switch the music. Change as fast as possible." I moved to follow Alice's orders and after tugging Rose away from the approaching cheerleaders we moved to head to the locker room. Edward reached out to touch me briefly on the shoulder, so quick I hardly felt it. "Good luck," he told me quietly. I gave him a hurried smile and moved further down the tunnel.

_**E**_

_**Soul Decision – "Faded"**_

Quicker than I would have thought possible, the girls were back on the field. They were wearing their basic white shirts and blue pants….Husky colors. Emmett was still frowning next to me. "I have never seen Alice that pissed before." I shot him an incredulously look. "Alice? What about Rosalie?" Emmett shrugged. "Nah, Rose was pretty tame…at least, compared to what she has done before." I shook my head in amazement. _That is one scary chick_.

Emmett had snuck back into the locker room to retrieve our helmets so that we could dash onto the field afterwards. The girl's dance was running behind and there wasn't a whole lot of time left of the half.

Bella lined up with the rest of the dancers and put her hands out to the sides, waiting for the song to start. Her dark hair shone under the bright stadium lights, spilling over her shoulders. I remembered what that hair felt like, smelled like. I felt my pulse increase as I looked at her. She darted a glance our way and I gave her the best damn encouraging smile I could manage. She gave me a small one back and I hoped she wouldn't be too nervous tonight.

When the music started, the dancers all started rocking their hips side to side and clapping their hands to the beat. Soon the crowd had joined in. They started stepping side to side along with the clapping and then making half turns, kicking their feet back as they bounced. It was always so amazing to see them flow together as a team, sexy and beautiful. I found myself tapping my fingers against my helmet, almost singing the words as they blared over the audio system.

"_I'm kind of faded but I feel alright. Thinking about making my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holding my body tight."_

Bella jumped to the side and moved her arms up and then back down, squatting the ground before rolling her back into a standing position.

_So damn hot._

"_Cause I like the way you're making it move, I like the way you're making me wait. At the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be coming on home with me."_

The girls divided and Bella was part of the group towards the front, so was Alice. When the rap portion of the song cut in, she dipped to the side, stomped her feet and pumped her arms. Her hips twitched back and forth to the pounding beat. I was totally fucking hypnotized.

They did a few more spins and dips and then the song was winding down. Alice, Bella and one other short girl took a few steps forward. They crouched down and threw themselves backwards onto their hands and then flipped their feet back for a full hand-spring. I was already impressed and really enjoyed the skin that was exposed on her mid-drift as she did it. I was _really_ impressed when they continued backwards and landed with one hand on the ground and one hand stretched in the air.

The whole stadium erupted into applause. I was very proud of Bella for doing something that made her nervous, and doing it beautifully I might add. I looked at her face, hoping to see a triumphant smile. Her lips were smiling, but it looked tight. I narrowed my eyes. Was her face even more pale than usual? While the others pushed off the ground with their hand and stood lithely, Bella sank onto her rear and rolled to her feet. She joined the others in smiling and waving as they moved off the field.

_Something is wrong._

Bella leaned over and said something in Alice's ear. The small girl frowned and looked at Bella sharply. When they got close to us I didn't hide the fact that I was staring at Bella, willing her to look at me. Finally, she moved her gaze to me. She gave me a small smile and a thumbs-up. I wanted to stop her and ask if she was okay. Maybe the end of the routine shook her up after all, even though it looked perfect. But the warning buzzer sounded, and I was pushed out onto the field by the rest of my teammates rushing out. I pulled my helmet back on, allowing myself one last glance at the now-empty tunnel…then it was back to game mode.

*********************

Emmett was regaling Jasper with our win the entire ride home...as if Jasper wasn't sitting in the stadium watching the entire time.

"Did you see that fumble? I knocked the ball right out of that tool's hands and _that_, my friend, was the game-winning play!"

"Oh really," Jasper taunted him. "I thought it was the three touchdowns thrown by Edward, or the two field goals that he helped set up."

"Nah. It was the fumble."

I rolled my eyes at their conversation, but I wished he would hurry the hell up and get home. It wasn't a far drive from the stadium, but tonight's drive seemed like it took forever. We didn't see Alice's car in its spot in the stadium parking lot, so we assumed that the girls had beat us home.

When we pulled up to the driveway, Alice's car was not there either. My leg started tapping up and down. _Where the fuck are they?_

Emmett parked the Jeep and jumped out, echoing my thoughts. "Where the hell are the girls?"

We walked into the kitchen and Emmett called out for them. The house was dark and silent. "Huh. I could have sworn they were coming right back here." Emmett pulled out his cell-phone and I assumed he was dialing Rosalie's number. I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, trying not to let my anxiety show as I listened to his end of the conversation.

"Rose, where are you at baby?" There was a pause. "Where?" His voice climbed an octave. "Who got hurt?"

My blood froze.

I gripped the bottle in my hand with so much force that the plastic was becoming mangled. I snuck a look over at Jasper and saw he was stalking towards Emmett, his face tight with worry. Emmett swore beneath his breath. "Alright….alright I will. See you soon. Love you too." He shut the phone and turned to Jasper and I with a sigh. Jasper spoke when I couldn't. "Who?"

"Bella."

I spun around so they wouldn't see my face. It felt like my heart was being pulled from out of my chest and I moved a hand over it…physically in pain. My other hand was clenched so hard I heard my knuckles pop. The blood was pounding in my ears and I was pretty damn sure I was about to pass out on the kitchen floor.

_Bella….Bella was hurt._

I forced myself to remain calm enough to hear Emmett relay the story. "Apparently Bella broke her wrist. The girls took her to the student medical center. They are on their way home now."

I could practically feel the relief pouring off Jasper when he realized Alice was not the one hurt. "I wonder how she managed to do that."

I knew. I knew the moment it happened. She broke her small, delicate wrist when she landed back on one hand at the end of the dance. I shook my head in disgust. _I fucking knew she was hurt…and I did nothing about it._

I could hear Emmett stomping towards the stairs. "Bella asked that I let Jake out for her. Be right back." Jasper stayed in the kitchen with me. I knew I shouldn't…I knew my cover would be blown, but I couldn't fucking help it. I growled and threw my bottle of water as hard as I could against the pantry door. The bottle exploded and sprayed water everywhere. My breath was coming in quick gasps, in and out.

_Bella…my Bella was hurt._

Jasper grabbed a hold of my shoulder. "Edward," he hissed. "You need to pull yourself together." I ignored him, grabbing handfuls of my hair painfully to keep from screaming. Jasper darted a look towards the kitchen door, making sure Emmett wasn't coming back yet. "Listen to me…Bella is okay. Yeah, she broke her wrist but she is coming home now. You need to be calm when she gets here or everyone is going to know."

That got me to stop and look at him. _He knew…he fucking knew about me and Bella._ I looked at him with what I was sure were wild eyes. He pursed his lips together and gave me a hard stare. I felt hysterical laughter coming up, but I settled for a strangled "how?"

"Alice. She has suspected something since we came back from break. I didn't believe her until just now."

I tried to gauge how mad he was. "We promised each other to keep it secret, for now." He shook his messy blonde head. "Don't worry about it. I understand." He glanced over at the door again as we heard Emmett tromping down the stairs. "Dude, I have eyes. Emmett would kill you in a fight. I won't say anything." I had time to nod my thanks before we were joined by the linebacker and the dog.

We all waited in the kitchen for the girls' arrival. If Emmett thought it was unusual for me to be waiting for them like they were, he didn't mention anything. There wasn't a damn thing anyone could do or say to prevent me from seeing Bella as soon as she came home. I had managed to get my blood pressure to a reasonable level and focused on the grain of the wooden kitchen table. I needed to see her…once I saw her I would be better.

I was pulled out of my stare when headlights cut through the window. The three of us stood and moved to the door. My heart rate started picking up again as they all filed into the kitchen. Alice walked in first and gave a tired smile to Jasper before looking at me. She smiled at me as well, but it seemed different now that I knew she was onto us. How could I have not seen that calculating look in her eyes before?

Bella shuffled into the kitchen next. My heart broke as I saw her tiny left hand in a dark blue brace, held protectively against her chest. I searched her pale face for any signs of pain, but mostly she looked tired. Her eyes were red and droopy, but she had a serene sort of smile on her face. She looked around at all the people surrounding her in the kitchen, smiling angelically. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, hold her and kiss her pain away. If I had my way, I would never let her leave the house again. F_uck that_…_never leave my arms again._

Emmett had one arm wrapped around Rosalie and the other he place carefully over Bella's shoulder. "Hiya Bells. How are you feeling?"His voice was surprisingly gentle and I knew I was getting a glimpse of "Big-brother Emmett" that Bella loved. My poor Bella craned her neck to look up at him…still smiling. "I'm cool. Not even a full fracture…just a hairline one." Her voice was grainy and tired sounding, and my hands ached to touch her.

Emmett looked questionably at Alice and the small girl nodded. "Oh yeah, Bella is high."

_Ah….that explains the smile._ I was more than a little relieved to know she wasn't in much pain right now. Bella smirked over at me. "The doctors insisted on it, but I think they were being silly." I didn't know whether to cry or laugh.

Alice and Rose started ushering her up the stairs. "Okay Bella, lets get you into bed before you hit the floor." Bella called over her shoulder as she was leaving the kitchen. "Goodnight everyone!" Emmett and Jasper chuckled, but I was still too worried to pretend to join in. Alice came down a couple of minutes later. "Hey Em, Rose says to get your butt to bed." Emmett wasted no time hustling up the stairs. Alice turned to Jasper and snuggled into his embrace, but kept her face to me. Once again she regarded me with knowing eyes. "Edward, Rose and Em are supposed to not wake Bella up. Could you keep an eye out for her while I am over at Jasper's tonight?"

I didn't know what to say about that. She was basically telling me she knew about me and Bella. _What the fuck was I supposed to say?_

I settled for nodding, my throat too seized up to make any normal human sound. She gave me a small smile and then walked with Jasper out of the kitchen. Jasper turned to me before closing the door and mouthed _'Lock the door'_. He was talking about Bella's door, and you better damn well believe I was going to.

_**Secondhand Serenade- "Awake"**_

I waited in my room until the snores echoed from Emmett's room. I launched off the edge of my bed where I was sitting impatiently. Just in case she was still awake, I knocked lightly on the door and heard the expected low 'woof' before entering. I focused my eyes on the bed where Bella's small form was curled on its side under the covers. Her dog looked at me and then resumed his post by her bedside. I quietly shut the door and turned the lock on the knob.

Moonlight filtered in through the window shades in lines that stretched across the bed. I moved in those beams, pulling back the dark covers and sliding inside. I tried to jostle the bed as little as possible. When I inched up against her, her back was warm and comforting against my chest, and I could feel her heart beat through her thin night shirt. I wanted to hold her so fucking bad, but I wasn't about to wake her up. I kept my hands firmly at my sides and buried my face into her hair laying on the pillow, breathing in her sent and willing myself to relax. _She's here…she's safe._

"Edward?" My eyes shot open, but I didn't move in case she was just talking in her sleep. That idea was dismissed when she groggily rolled over to face me. Her eyes were barely open, but she smiled when she saw me. "Hi."

I gave her a tight smile. "Hi yourself." She snuggled in closer to me and I made sure I wasn't pressed too hard against her injured hand. She took a deep breath and sighed. "I love the way you smell." My smile wasn't so forced this time. I wonder if she would remember anything she said by tomorrow morning. "Are you okay?" She nodded into my chest. "It doesn't really hurt…but it did when I broke it." I winced and ran my hand over her head and down her back, rubbing it soothingly. "I bet it did."

"Did you see me? I didn't fall." The slur of her voice carried an element of pride, and I chuckled into the top of her head. "Yes sweetheart, I saw you. You were wonderful." The feel of her in my arms was doing the trick…my body was melting and I was blissfully on my way to sleep. Right before I nodded off I heard her whisper sleepily, "I love you, Edward."

My eyes shot open again and I looked down at her, really fucking awake now. Her face was peaceful, her lips slightly parted and her breathing deep. She was asleep. I rested my chin on her head again, still in shock. _Did she realize what she was saying?_ Most likely she wouldn't remember anything that happened after she took that happy pill, but I would never forget it. A part of me was freaking out. _.Out_.

It was a phrase I hadn't heard anyone tell me in a long time…and shit screamed out in mid-coitus didn't count. Bella told me she loved me…and I was on the verge of a fucking panic attack.

But some other part of me kept my emotions in check. _That_ part was the part that agonized when I didn't know if Bella was okay or not. _That_ part was the one that made me jump out of bed in the morning and race downstairs just to catch a glimpse of her before she went to class. It was the part that had me writing out my first song in almost a year.

I couldn't be sure of anything at that point, but I was fairly certain that was also the part of me that has been in love with Bella since the day I met her.

**Its short, but that's because I ran out of time and wanted to give you guys at least a little something. Links to the songs are on my profile as usual. In case you are wondering the cheerleaders song was Flo-Rida's "Right Round".**

**Who is the best fanfic author **_**ever????**_** Tell me :P**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclamination yo: You know what I say….I say if I owned it my dream about Kellan would come true! *sigh***

Chapter 13

_**B**_

The weeks passed quickly. Our days were filled with practices, homework, finals and the ever-looming Christmas holiday. The guys were holding up a great season and us girls were practicing the homecoming game routine. While most football teams had their homecoming game in the fall, our school was planning something very special this year.

In light of the first winning season in many years, the university had postponed the homecoming game until after the holidays….and it was going to be one heck of a blowout. Alice had some awesome ideas for our costumes, but she wouldn't tell anything to Rosalie or me until the designs were complete.

No matter how little Edward and I were able to see each other during the day, he always came to my room at night. I had grown so used to having him next to me that I was unable to fall asleep without him. I don't remember much about the night I came home with a broken wrist, but the way Edward hovered over me every chance I got made me feel extremely loved. It was different from my roommates' over protectiveness; it was more of a constant presence. I knew he would be there for me at any given moment, no matter what.

During the daytime, we took turns yanking the other person into empty rooms, stealing kisses and heavy caresses. I couldn't get enough of him, and I think Edward felt the same way. He was always the one to pull away first, claiming he needed to stay in control. I didn't know how much longer I could stand having him stay in control.

I had already decided what I was going to get him for Christmas. We hadn't discussed whether we were exchanging presents or not, but Alice had pulled me to the side and had given me a heads up, saying he was planning something. How she knew that….I had no idea. But I have learned never to bet against Alice.

Besides Alice, I didn't think the other roommates had any idea that Edward and I were a couple. We talked about when we should tell them and decided it would be best to wait until after the holidays. I thought it would work out okay….or at least I hoped it would. Edward was fitting in like he had been here the whole time. He and Alice teased each other all the time and she even felt comfortable enough to go through his closet and organize some of his clothes. He threw her out when she started bagging up the clothes she thought were unsuitable.

Rosalie was even thawing out. One afternoon I had walked home to see Edward bending under his car's hood. He complained of a hose of some sort coming off and he couldn't get it back on without a specific tool. Rosalie walked out of the house and silently joined Edward peering over the engine. She then retrieved a tool out of her garage and handed it to Edward, who was just as stunned as I was. Rosalie smirked at him and requested he return it to the third drawer of the metal cabinet. It was amazing!

Today was the last day of finals, and tonight Edward and I had a date.

Of course, the date was a secret and we were going to sneak away to be together…but I was almost too excited to keep my cool. I locked myself in my room and let my excitement pour out on paper. I told Alice and Rose that I was going to the bookstore for a few hours and that Edward offered to give me a ride on his way to the music store. The smart part was that I told them when Rose and Emmett were very involved in some violent Xbox game, so only Alice looked at me with a knowing smile. I am pretty sure she was totally team Edward at this point.

When the sun finally set, a soft knock sounded on my door. I jumped up and flung it open, my grin unable to be contained. Edward smiled down at me. "Hi."

I peered down the hallways past him to make sure the coast was clear, and then I greeted him properly. I kept the kiss short and sweet, but with promise for later. When I pulled back, Edward's eyes were closed and his lips were upturned in a small, serene smile. I laughed and he smirked down at me again. "Are you ready to go?"

"I don't know." I stepped back and gestured down at the jeans and sweater I was wearing. "I wasn't sure what to wear."

"You look perfect." His warm words flowed over me and showed on the heat of my cheeks. "Just grab your coat and gloves, its cold out tonight."

He wasn't kidding…snow was just right around the corner. I hated the snow just about as much as I hated the rain. I grabbed my gloves and then my knit cap for good measure before following Edward down the stairs.

The others didn't pay us much attention as we called out our goodbyes. I was surprised when Edward grabbed my gloved hand in his as we walked to his car, but the weather was very cold and damp. "Afraid I will slip and fall before we leave for our date?" I teased him, my breath visible in the night. Edward gave me his sexy half-smile. "Maybe a little, but mostly I just can't wait to get my hands on you." I felt the full dazzling effect of his look, and I was glad for the steady presence of his hand.

He still wouldn't tell me where we were driving to and my puzzlement only grew when he pulled into the stadium parking lot a few minutes later. "Edward, what are we doing here?" The parking lot was completely empty other than his Volvo. He didn't answer, but just stepped out of the car and moved around to my side to assist me out as well. He then opened the trunk and pulled out a picnic basket and an armload of blankets. "We are here for our date." He looked at me, smile in place but a slight uncertain look in his eyes. I knew he was waiting for me to say something, so I spoke honestly. "This is a wonderful idea, Edward!" At this point he could have picked anywhere to be and I would love it, as long as I got to be alone with him. He shrugged and gave an embarrassed grin, "I wasn't sure if you would like it, but I figured we owed ourselves some alone time." I offered to carry something, but he gallantly refused. We snuck through our secret entrance and then walked down to the field entrance tunnel.

All the lights in the stadium were off, leaving the moon to be our only light. It was a rare clear night and the moon was almost full. Edward led the way to the direct center of the field and spread out one of the blankets. He took my hand again and helped lower me onto it before kneeling to take items out of the basket. "Alice lent me the basket and gave me a few ideas on what to bring," he admitted. I reminded myself to thank her later as he pulled out thermoses of soup and a loaf of fresh baked bread.

The soup was perfect for this cold night. "Did you make this yourself?" Edward shrugged and grinned at me, putting away our empty containers. "I poured it out of the can and into the pan, if that's what you mean." We both laughed. I was absolutely loving the fact that we were alone together, but I was becoming frustrated at the small distance between us. Edward must have been thinking along the same lines because he pulled out another blanket and scooted next to me. When he laid back I copied him, and he brought the heavy blanket over us. I snuggled up onto his shoulder and stared up at the sky. Seattle was too big and bright of a city to allow a phenomenal view of the night sky, but we could still see a few stars scattered around the moon. Edward played with a strand of my hair that had come loose from my knit cap, and I sighed contently. "Thank you for this Edward…it was a perfect date." I turned my head to look at him and he was already turned towards me. Neither of us hesitated. When our lips pressed together, it was like a tension had been released. I had been waiting to have him kiss me like this for a while and my passion was threatening to overtake me.

_**Jimmy Eat World- "Night Drive"**_

I rolled slightly so that I was above him, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. Our tongues sought each other out and glided together. I was already breathing heavy before he took my bottom lip and sucked on it gently. I ran my fingers up to his hair and gripped it, holding his head still as I moved my lips down his rough jaw. I was pleased to hear his breathing was as unsteady as mine. His hands moved up and down my back over my coat and I cursed the layers of clothing separating us. Edward moved his head to the side to allow me better access to his throat as I ravished it. I knew by now what drove him crazy, and I decided to push my limits tonight. I reached for his ear and ran the tip of my tongue along the shell.

Edward made me gasp as he quickly rolled us over so he was now above me. His body was beside of mine and I ached to have him on top of me. I grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him closer as he kissed me, but he took my hand away gently, stopping long enough to kiss my injured hand over the glove, and then returned to attacking my swollen lips. His hand moved slowly up my arm, over my shoulder and then down to rest just above my rapidly beating heart. After a moment's hesitation, his hand glided over my coat to rest lightly on my breast. I must have made some sort of noise because he pulled back from my lips and removed his hand. "Bella, I'm sorry…"

"Don't stop," I begged in a whisper. "Please Edward."

He searched my face and I knew the desire was evident in my eyes. He groaned softly and returned his lips to mine. Our breathing became mingled and I arched my back slightly, not sure of what I was supposed to do but I knew I wanted Edward to touch me again. He complied and moved his hand back to my breast, applying more pressure this time. I felt my nipples harden in reaction, even though several layers of cloth kept his touch from my skin. I never thought I would be able to be touched there without fear or revulsion, but Edward's touch was pleasant…desirable. It was Edward…I was his.

And I wanted more.

I moved my hands up to my coat buttons. My hands trembled slightly and the gloves made it even more cumbersome work. Edward gently grasped my fingers and pulled away so he could speak. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to." His voice was hoarse, but reassuring. I knew he wouldn't be pressuring me, tonight or ever. I took my gloves off and then set one bare palm against his cheek. He closed his eyes and shuddered slightly at my touch. "I know I don't…but I want to." I felt myself become calmer with my own words, and I returned to undoing the buttons on my coat. Edward didn't take his eyes off my face as I finished my work. His green orbs burned into me, making me feel like we were connected beyond physical contact. When I tried to sit up and remove my coat he stopped me once again. "It's too cold for you to take that off." He silenced any protests I might have voiced by kissing me again. He moved from lips to my jaw, leaving a trail of fire down my neck and across my exposed collarbones. He nudged the edge of my sweater on my chest, nipping at my skin lightly. My hands moved down his back and slithered under his coat. I felt him shudder again as my hands met skin and I could feel the muscles of his back bunch underneath my touch. I was glad for the blanket over us, both for privacy and for warmth.

Edward continued to rain kisses over my body, returning occasionally to ravish my lips and move his tongue against mine. I felt a cool hand slip under my sweater and rest on the heated skin of my stomach. I clutched his back harder and moaned in both desire and frustration. "Edward…."

Edward had reached my ear and he sucked on the lobe for a moment before whispering in my ear. "Bella…" His hand finally moved the last few inches to cover my breast. I felt like someone had set off an electrical current in my body. The shockwave started at the contact of his large hand and ended between my legs. I felt myself becoming almost unbearably aroused, and I poured that emotion into our kiss. I bit lightly on his bottom lip before soothing it with the tip of my tongue. I dug my fingers into the skin of his back and his tongue darted in and out of my mouth. There was a sense of urgency as he tugged down on my bra to delve his fingers underneath. The first brush over my hardened nipple had me arching my back into his touch. I had never felt anything like that in my life. This was so much better than I could have ever dreamed, and I never wanted it to end.

Edward moaned at my enthusiasm and moved the rest of his body over me. I automatically opened my legs to let him settle between them. The pressure between my legs was building and I didn't know why, but I needed him to be as close to me as possible. He gently lowered down, fusing our bodies together. His hand resumed their ministrations on my sensitive flesh. He brushed his fingers over my nipple again…once, twice. Then he took it between his forefinger and thumb and pinched it lightly. I whimpered and my whole body lifted off the ground. Our lower bodies ground against each other and I could feel the evidence of his arousal against the aching area between my legs. The sensation both soothed and intensified my need for him.

Edward moved his hand from my breast and moved it down to grasp my jean clad hip. He gently gripped me and held me steady as he ground his hips into mine again. I couldn't help but to throw my head back and gasp as the feelings rushed over me. The intensity of it became overwhelming and I moved my hands from Edward's back and held them against his chest, not pushing him away but letting him know that I needed a moment. He pulled back from kissing my throat and looked at me with worry. "I'm okay…I'm fine," I managed to gasp out and I gave him a smile to reassure him. Edward leaned forward to press his lips against my forehead. It was a gentle, sweet pressure on my skin that nearly brought me to tears.

When he rolled off of me, he pulled me close to his side and wrapped the blanket tighter around us. We stared up at the sky again, trying to get our heartbeats back to normal. After a few silent moments Edward's fingers stroked over my cool cheek. "Was that okay?" I laughed slightly and gave him an incredulous look. "Was that okay? I must have not been doing something right, because I thought you realized how much I enjoyed that." He smiled down at me, the relief in his eyes fighting with the lingering desire. "You have no idea how wonderful you are." I blushed and tried to hide my face, but his fingers under my chin kept me from doing so. "Just so you know, I thoroughly enjoyed that myself. I loved touching you and we will keep things as slow or as fast as you want. I can wait as long as you need me to."

I leaned over to kiss him lightly. "I hope we don't have to wait too long." I tried to keep my eyes on his even though it was hard for me to talk like that without the embarrassment overtaking me. Edward kissed the tip of my nose and then pulled back. "Your nose is freezing, let's get you home." I didn't want to leave, but I was getting a little cold. Plus, once we went home we could go to bed, and there would be a lot less clothes for us to worry about then.

Edward packed up the basket and we drove back to the house with matching smiles. It had been a night I would never forget.

***********************

When we pulled back up to the house it was close to eleven o'clock, and there was an unfamiliar car parked outside the house. Edward parked on the street behind it. "Whose car is that?" I shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe someone from the football team?" Edward hummed under his breath for a moment and then helped me out of the car. When we got around to the side of the house we heard raised voices. I recognized Alice's voice and groaned when I heard who was talking to her. Edward looked at me with his brows furrowed. "It's Tyler, Alice's ex boyfriend," I told him.

When we reached the kitchen door we saw the tall, lanky form of Tyler outlined in the porch light. Alice was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and her small body was blocking the doorway. "For the last time, Tyler….leave!" Apparently they had been arguing for some time before we got here. "Alice?" I called out from my spot beside Edward. She and Tyler both turned in our direction. I am not sure if Edward was even aware of moving slightly in front of me, blocking me from Tyler's gaze. His voice sounded menacing even to my ears. "Is there a problem here?"

"Yes," Alice spat out at the same time Tyler answered "No." Tyler turned back to Alice. "Come on Alice, you owe me another chance after torching all my stuff." His voice was borderline whiney and I almost rolled my eyes at the same time Alice did. Edward didn't say anything, just turned and gently handed me the picnic basket and blankets. A feeling of dread came over me when I realized he was preparing for some sort of altercation. He took one step onto the porch. "Bella, go around to the front. Alice, close the door and lock it, then let Bella in the front door." I had no intention of leaving him alone with Tyler, but Alice started to do as he told her, pulling the door closed. Tyler swung a hand out and slammed it on the door to keep it from shutting. "Don't walk away from me!" His voice was a desperate and angry growl and Alice's eyes were wide with shock. Edward moved faster than I could follow.

He grabbed Tyler by the back of his jacket and tossed him off the porch. I took a few quick steps out of the way as Edward vaulted over the railing after him. Tyler was on his feet, bringing up his hands to take a swing at Edward. I tried to call out to him, but my voice was trapped in my throat with my pounding heart. Tyler took a few wild swings and Edward effortlessly dodged them. Frustration made his voice high pitched. "This is between me and that _bitch_!" The words barely left his mouth before Edward grabbed him and flung him against the side of the house, holding Tyler so high that his feet didn't touch the ground. Edward's eyes were full of rage and he yelled through his clenched teeth. "Stay the fuck away from my sister!"

I felt my mouth open in shock, and a moment later so did Edward's. He released Tyler, who collapsed on the ground at Edward's feet. Edward seemed to just now realize what he said and he looked to be having a hard time dealing with that outburst. Before Tyler could recover we heard a throat clearing behind us. I swung around and saw the rest of my roommates were there, watching with interest. Jasper had his arms around Alice on the porch. Rosalie was behind Emmett, who was doing his best to hold her back from the fight. Emmett looked over at me. "Bells, come over here with Rose." He turned to his girlfriend. "Baby, take her and Alice and go inside the house." Rosalie opened her mouth to protest, but then she looked at me and nodded. I didn't want to leave, but Rose tugged on my hand impatiently. I looked back at Edward, and he seemed better control of himself at the moment.

Jasper released Alice into our care and the three of us headed inside. We immediately moved to the kitchen window and watched as each of our guys surrounded Tyler and moved him into the shadows of the backyard. When they emerged a few minutes later, Tyler was clutching his stomach and running awkwardly to his car. The squeal of his tires followed him out into the night.

The guys stomped into the house and I wanted nothing more than to run into Edward's arms. My best friend beat me to it though. I think most of the room was as shocked as I was to see Alice launch herself onto Edward, hugging him tightly. Edward stumbled back a step, and then slowly returned her embrace. The look of content on his face made tears sting my eyes and I had to turn and discretely wipe them away. Jasper huffed and moved closer to the hugging pair. "Do you mind? I am her fucking boyfriend, after all." Alice laughed and gave Edward a kiss on the cheek before turning into Jasper's arms. "We know that baby, but Edward was the one that tossed him off the porch to protect me."

Emmett pounded Edward on the back. "I shouldn't condone any bad behavior, but I will totally give you props for kicking that guys ass tonight…and I will do it will a big damn smile on my face!"

Edward chuckled, "Thanks, but if we can keep it our little secret I would be grateful." I was relieved that Edward wouldn't be getting into trouble for fighting with Tyler and I didn't think that weasel had the guts to turn them in. Rosalie folded her arms and pouted over at Emmett. "You know I hate it when you go all caveman on me and make me sit to the side and behave like a good little girl." Emmett apologized by sticking his tongue down her throat. "You know, deep down, you really love my caveman act." He waggled his dark eyebrows down at her. No one was surprised when Rose simply took his hand and led him up the stairs.

Alice sighed and leaned her head against Jasper's chest. "I'm beat, let's go to bed." Jasper crouched down slightly and Alice jumped onto his back with a giggle. She looked over at Edward again. "Thank you, Edward. I appreciate you looking out for me." He looked at her and smiled slightly. "Anytime." I said my goodnights to them and then it was just me and Edward in the kitchen.

Edward looked over at me, giving me a searching glance. "You have been pretty quiet for a while." I could have asked him if he was okay, or I could have asked him about his slip-up calling Alice his sister. I could have told him we would talk about it later up in my room, but I decided all those ideas were crap and I went with what I wanted.

I stalked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, reaching up to fuse his lips to mine. His hands reached for my waist to steady me as we devoured each other. Our lips moved heatedly together, our tongues fighting for dominance. I could feel his breath rasping in and out as fast as mine was and I whimpered in response. Edward's hands moved from my waist to my hair and back down. I raised one leg, trying to crawl up higher on his body. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but Edward knew…

He moved his hands down to cup my rear and suddenly I was sitting on the countertop. Our lips never parted for a second. My legs were spread and he moved between them, pushing himself against me. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his hips and flexed them, holding him even closer. We both moaned at the same time, the sound flowing into each other's mouths as our kisses grew hotter. I clutched the back of his shirt tightly as he leaned me back to nibble on my neck. My hips were rocking slightly and I clawed at him when he mimicked me, rocking his growing hardness against my heated core. His strong, warm hands surrounded me, one holding my back steady and the other moving directly to my aching breast. I gasped and arched my back into his touch, wanting more. Edward growled and sucked on the sensitive skin at the crook of my neck. I bit my lip to keep from screaming, but it didn't really matter.

The kitchen door creaked open and we heard a shocked chocking sound. Edward jerked back from me and I almost collapsed onto the floor. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head and I knew my face was beyond red, both from desire and humiliation. A thousand excuses bounced around in my head, but I knew that the damage was done and there was no getting out of it.

"Oh, sweet Jesus…."

**Yes, I made a cliffie. But hey, at least you got to second base with them! Hate me all you want but this was a chapter that I don't really like to begin with and I hadn't really planned on doing for a while. Life is really busy right now so I am shocked I had time for this little short thing!**

**Music is on my profile. Thanks so all my stalkers (you know who you are)!**

**Hot diggity damn 300 reviews! Yippee!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: some assembly required…..oh wait….**

Chapter 14

_**E**_

Thoughts were rolling through my lust-filled head a million miles an hour. The only things I actually could form were words of panic.

_Shit!_

_Fuck!_

_Damn!_

But I didn't think any of those explicatives would be very useful at this very minute. It was all I could do to concentrate on hiding what was left of my obvious erection from the pissed off blonde in the doorway.

Rosalie had visions of violence floating through her head….that much was obvious. I was coherent enough to be thankful that she hadn't screamed for Emmett, but scared enough to realize that she could do enough damage without him. Bella slid off the counter and adjusted her shirt while her roommate took two steps into the kitchen. I took two steps back. That may have been a tad cowardly, but I knew she wouldn't hurt Bella and I was inching my way to an escape route.

Both girls' faces were bright red, but for very different reasons. Bella had finished smoothing down her hair and was now looking everywhere but at me or Rosalie. The female in question was glaring straight at me. Her fists clenched open and closed a few times before she took another couple of determined steps towards me. Finally, she spoke.

"You are a dead man."

_Shit!_

_Fuck!_

_Damn!_

I was both embarrassed and relieved when Bella rushed over to stand in front of me. "Rosalie Hale, you will not lay a finger on him!" I didn't take my eyes off of the taller girl. She blinked back and forth between us for a long minute. Her gaze slowly transitioned from murdering outrage to cool and calculating. "How long has this been going on?" She looked at me when she asked it, but I knew she only wanted to hear the words from Bella's mouth.

"We've been…dating since fall break." She shuffled her feet and her head ducked to look at her shoes. Rosalie's voice rose in volume and in octave. "_Fall break_? Jesus, Bella! When the fuck were you going to tell the rest of us, or am I the last person to know?" Bella took a tiny step back and it placed her beside of me. I thought she was afraid of Rosalie until I realized she only wanted to hold my hand. Our fingers twined together, mine ice cold and hers slightly damp. Bella's chin came up defiantly. "We were going to tell everyone…eventually. This is still kind of new to us and we weren't ready to tell anyone just yet. And no, you aren't the last to know."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Alice?" Bella nodded. "She hasn't said anything but she knows something is up. She told Jasper."

Instead of anger again, I was surprised to hear laughter spilling from our roommate. We didn't say anything as she chuckled to herself and finally managed to choke out, "Well, obviously Emmett doesn't know yet because you are still here and on the team." She pointed to me as she finished laughing. I narrowed my eyes at her. _Glad to know I could fucking entertain her_. I was still not feeling man enough to say anything out loud.

Bella let go of my hand to reach for Rosalie's. "Rose, you can't tell Emmett. Please."

Rosalie looked down at her incredulously. "Why the hell not? There is a reason Emmett would nail him to the wall. Do you not remember why he got stuck at this university in the first place? Or did he tell you that he was framed for all the shit he was accused of?"

My balls came back. "Now wait a fucking minute…."

Bella interrupted me. "It doesn't matter. That was then and this is now. You can't tell me he has done one thing out of line since he has moved in….right?"

Rosalie clenched her jaw and stared hard at Bella before shifting her eyes at me. "Not until now." She sounded almost reluctant to say the words. Bella pulled on her hand to get her too look at her again. "Rose, I know you guys worry but I am a big girl and I know what I am doing." Bella glanced back to me. She looked worried, but her lips twitched into a soft smile. "I have never felt like this about anyone in my life. Edward is the first person besides you and Alice that I have been able to talk to," she turned back to the blonde, "…about everything." She said the last words pointedly. Rosalie's face softened a little. "Everything?" Bella nodded and her and Rosalie closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths. I felt like I should do the same thing, but I didn't want to make any noise and break her out of her current mood….which was vastly improving.

Rosalie opened her eyes, and there was nothing but resignation on her face now. "Bells, you know you are going to have to tell Emmett eventually, and he will be pissed no matter what you or I say."

"Please don't say anything. We will talk to him after the holidays. We just need a little more time."

I felt like it was safe enough to move now, so I placed my hand on Bella's shoulder and rubbed her through her shirt with my thumb, giving her my support without words. She reached up and covered my hand with one of her own. Rosalie looked at our hands for a long moment, and then rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine! I won't say anything. But you need to tell him…before homecoming." We both nodded in agreement. Hell, I would have agreed to damn near anything at that point as long as it kept her on our side. Bella let go of me to hug her roommate. Rosalie returned the hug, but kept her eyes on me. "Listen Bella, I know that we can all be smothering sometimes, but we just don't want to see you hurt anymore. If you say that Edward is a good guy and he won't hurt you, then I trust your judgment and will try to support this." Bella made a little sniffling sound and pulled away from Rosalie, wiping at her face. "Thanks Rose. You have no idea what that means to me."

Rosalie smiled gently down at Bella before sliding her stern mask back on and glaring at me. "Get one thing straight, Cullen. You hurt her and your balls will be in a jar on my tool shelf, got it?"

"Rosalie, if I ever hurt her…you wouldn't have to come after my balls, I would surrender them to you myself." I looked straight at her to show how serious I was. "Bella is everything to me; I will never hurt her or allow her to be hurt if I can help it."

The tall girl eyed me up and down and then nodded, apparently satisfied. "You guys need to keep your hanky panky out of the communal places until homecoming. If Emmett finds out the way I did…well, we won't be able to hold him back." I believed her.

When she grabbed two bottles of water and walked out of the kitchen, Bella and I let out our pent up breaths, then laughed at each other. I ran my hand through my hair, "Well, that was not as horrible as it was in my nightmares." Bella giggled, "You have nightmares about Rosalie?" I raised my eyebrows incredulously, "Have you _seen_ her when she is pissed? You're damn right I have nightmares."

Bella thought that was hilarious, but I wasn't joking. There were a few variations of dreams where one roommate or another found out about us in the exact fashion we were busted tonight, and most of the dreams involved bloodshed on my behalf.

We crept up the stairs and snuck into her room. On one hand I felt a little better about another person knowing. It was really nerve-wrecking to sneak around four people, now we really only had to worry about one. On the other hand, it was _the _one…the big one. Fuck.

Bella snuggled up against me in the warm covers, and I had a small moment of panic. "Bella, you don't think Rose would really take apart my engine….right?" Bella smothered her laugh into her pillow and I smiled with her. I was fairly certain my Volvo would not be maimed….maybe.

***************************

The next morning was awkward, uncomfortable and tense….for me anyways. Alice and Jasper seemed cheerful and Bella even gave me a smile when I sat down to the table. Rosalie didn't smile, but she didn't glare either. In fact, she seemed to be avoiding my gaze altogether. Maybe she was afraid she would give something away. The only one in a really good mood was Emmett. _You poor grinning, clueless bastard._

Bella had made pancakes for breakfast and I guess in a way it was nice to have everyone together at the table. It made faint memories of family breakfast back at home hover in my head. Not something I was uncomfortable with, but not something I cared to delve into over pancakes either. It was Thursday…and I had bigger shit to worry about.

I cleared my throat after a few minutes of eating silently. Everyone looked over my way with questioning glances, except for Jasper. He knew what I was going to ask and he just gave me a shit-eating grin. _Help me out a little, asshole. _I decided just to bite the bullet, rip the band aid off….get it over with.

"So, Jasper and I are playing at _Volt_ tonight." Okay, so it was more of a statement than a question. Alice, Rosalie and Emmett looked at me with eyebrows raised; no doubt flashing back on my stellar breakdown the last time I played there. But Bella….that beautiful girl just smiled at me like I told her I won the lottery. There was nothing but pride and excitement written all over her face. I would be kissing every inch of that face later…take that to the bank!

"I know its short notice but it would be cool if you all wanted to come check it out." My effort at nonchalance made me want to laugh, but that would ruin all the coolness I was trying to display. Right.

I looked at Jasper and narrowed my eyes at the wince on his face. Yeah I guess that sounded as weird as it sounded in my head. Emmett and Rosalie looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure, we aren't planning on leaving for Christmas break until Saturday anyways." Alice perked up at that. "You are coming with us to Forks, Emmett?" Rosalie answered for him. "If that's okay with you. You know we won't want to stay at my place." Alice clapped and bounced up and down excitedly, which probably made Jasper's day since she was using his lap as a seat. "Jasper just said he would come back with us too!"

I grinned over at him. "Meeting the folks for the first time over Christmas? Brave Whitlock…very brave. And your mom knows that you won't be spending the holidays with her? Fire-for-Effect General!" The whole table erupted in laughter as he calmly flipped me the bird. "Hardy-fucking-har-har asshole, but you remember this shit when you have to chat with your girl's parents."

The whole table got quiet at that. I frowned and felt a muscle in my jaw clench as I saw Bella look down and bite her lip. Alice subtilely elbowed Jasper in the ribs and he looked confused for a second. When the light bulb came on, he glanced over at Bella and his face had guilt all over it. Alice had obviously updated him on Bella's family situation. _Stupid insensitive prick_. Rosalie managed to not look over at Bella, but she stared awfully hard at her empty plate. Emmett was totally unaware of the awkward silence at the table. He leaned forward towards me with a wicked grin. "Hey now, little Eddie has a _girlfriend_?" His voice was teasing and if the situation wasn't as fucked up as a soup sandwich, I might have joshed him back a little or laughed. Right now all I could manage to do was to push my way back from the table and set my dishes in the sink. I was already on edge thinking about my performance tonight, but the stress from keeping our relationship from Emmett was breaking the camel's back. Not to mention the Christmas break conversation made me think about my present to Bella. She said she was staying here for the break and I hoped that her roommates weren't going to make her change her mind. My Christmas present to her depended on her being here on Christmas Eve. I needed to get a hold of myself before I panicked about other shit, like world peace or global warming or whatever….I was two steps from getting on a panic freeway with no exits.

I turned and tried to give them some sort of a smile, but it probably looked funny. "See you all later tonight." I pushed out of the room, hearing Emmett's voice echo after me. "What did I say?"

_**B**_

Volt was not as crowded as it was last time, probably due to most people being out of town for break. We sat at the same table as last time and I tried not to let that feel like a bad omen. When Edward announced at the breakfast table that he was going to play, I was so excited for him. But now in the darkness of the bar I remembered how much emotion had been brought up the last time he played here. I just hoped he was planning on playing something besides the song he wrote for his sister.

I was surprised he didn't say something to me earlier. Alice had mentioned on the way over that Jasper and Edward had been at the club during off hours to practice and that explained why he was gone so much. I wasn't hurt that he didn't tell me, I was just nervous for him and hoped this would be the beginning of a new path for him.

Jasper and Edward had left earlier than the rest of us for the club and so far we hadn't seen either of them. I drummed my fingers against the table anxiously until Rosalie reached over and grabbed them. She gave me an exasperated look and jerked her head towards Emmett, who was listening to a babbling Alice. I gave her a grateful smile and tucked my hands in to my lap. I was relieved on so many levels to have Rosalie on our side. I had felt bad for keeping our relationship from my roommates, but I also knew that having them on our side would come in handy when Hurricane Emmett dropped down on us. I tried not to think too much about it, because then the nervous tapping would start again.

Our drinks had just arrived when the first strums of a guitar echoed in the dark. A soft, southern voice carried out over us and Alice started bouncing in her seat. I smiled and listened to the words, knowing he was singing for Alice.

_**Josh Kelley- "Lover Come Up"**_

"_Thunder. Hard Rain. I'm lonely, I know you're lonely too."_

I started tapping my foot against the barstool to the beat and enjoyed the cheers all around us. The stage was still in darkness but the crowd was already won over.

"_So when you get the nerve just call and give the word 'cause you're really something babe. Hey, hey."_

When the chorus belted out the lights switched on the stage. Jasper was standing at the front microphone, bouncing slightly to the beat while he strummed the guitar. His dirty blonde hair was curling around his face and his dark t-shirt showed off his muscular body. I admired him appreciatively for a moment…after all, I am a woman and there was no denying that boy was fine. But my eyes became locked on his backup singer and base guitar player.

_"Lover, lover, I'm gonna come up…."_

Edward was off to the side of Jasper and I was pleased to see a smile on his face. He strummed the base guitar with confident hands and even swayed with the beat. His mouth was hidden by the microphone as his voice flowed in harmony with Jaspers. It was a catchy, fun song and it was no surprise that almost everyone was dancing in their seats.

_"When I'm touching you, flawless. Undressed. I'm nervous, I know you're nervous too."_

We all cat called and pointed to Alice as Jasper sang down to her. She covered her cheeks with her hands but did not take her eyes off of her man. I don't know if I have ever seen a smile that big before. I turned back to Edward and he was looking right at our table, grinning while Jasper entertained the crowd. I gave him a wink and wasn't sure he saw it…until he gave one right back to me. I bit my lip to try to keep my goofy smile to a minimum.

When the chorus came around again we all sang with them and a few people clapped their hands to the beat.

_"Speak to me woman I got to hear your calling. Sing so I know what you're looking for. I might not give you what you want little darlin' but you better believe, I'm sure, sure gonna give you what you need."_

I had to really listen to pick out Edward's soft voice in the melody, but it was there and it blended perfectly. Both he and Jasper played their instruments flawlessly. If this was as far as Edward got tonight as a performance, then I would still be impressed. You would never know that he was the same guy who choked up on stage a few weeks ago. This confident, bronze-haired guy oozed confidence along with a healthy dose of sex appeal. _No denying that_. He wore a dark long sleeved shirt with the top few buttons undone, revealing a black t-shirt underneath it. His dark jeans hung comfortably on his hips and I looked very much forward to running my hands along that denim later.

I blushed as my thoughts caught up with me. We were slowly becoming more intimate with each other, but lately I had been thinking that maybe we were moving a little _too_ slow. It wasn't that I felt like Edward was holding back all the time…more like I had been holding back all my life and now I needed to let go. The fear had been leaving me day by day since I met Edward, and not just fear of intimacy. I hadn't realized how much more comfortable I was in public places around strangers until Alice pointed it out. She said that I hardly flinched at all when a guy would brush past me. I didn't believe her until someone actually bumped into me. The guy was nice enough to apologize and I smiled and nodded, turning back to my drink before it hit me. I felt comfortable in my own skin for the first time since I was a child. That revelation was euphoric and it opened my mind up to things that I never that would be possible for me.

The song faded out and the bar got to their feet. We whistled and hollered at the top of our lungs as Jasper nodded his thanks. He pointed back to Edward who raised his hand to the cheering crowd. Jasper leaned in towards the microphone. "My good buddy Edward there helped me out with this song. I wrote it for my Alice." He grinned down at her and everyone cheered and whistled for the two lovers. Alice blew him a kiss and I grinned at their affection. Emmett and Rosalie just rolled their eyes. _I guess some people show affection through song, and some showed it through sex._

When the crowd quieted down Jasper spoke again. "We are gonna switch up some things up now and let my man Edward entertain you for a bit." I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I hoped that no one recognized him from last time. I knew he had to be nervous. _Hell, I am nervous for him._

Edward handed the base guitar to a guy I didn't recognize and Jasper picked up another guitar. They started switching some plugs around and I was surprised to see Edward move to the baby grand piano towards the back of the stage. I assumed he would be up front and center with a guitar, but I remember Jasper saying he could play anything he put his hands on. _Okay now that thought went totally down the dirty side of my brain._ I don't know what was coming over me, but I kind of liked it.

Jasper plucked a few strings and nodded to Edward, I assume to let him know they were ready. Edward didn't introduce himself, he didn't say anything at all. He bowed his head for a second and I saw him breathe in and out deeply. I bit my lip again, clenching my hands into fists. I sent up every prayer I could think of to let him be able to do this. Finally, he adjusted the microphone near his face and poised his fingers over the keys. The piano was sideways, allowing me an unobstructed view of his profile. He didn't look anywhere but the keys as the first chords rang out.

_**Lifehouse- "Learn You Inside Out"**_

It was a soft, swaying melody that was joined by soft percussion after a short while. Jasper was off to the side this time with the microphone, preparing to be his backup singer. When Edward sang, there was no hint of nervousness. His angelic voice sent chills down my spine and I was riveted by him. Every cell in my body hung on the words he was singing. He didn't falter once on the keys as he leaned towards the microphone.

_"See my feet on the ground. But it feels like the world's gravity drowned. When I'm with you I'm high."_

It was nothing short of amazing how his voice could start off high and melodic and then transition to sultry and sensual. His voice sounded like it was breathing over my skin, caressing me. He looked up from his microphone and locked eyes with me while singing.

_"Instead of hiding my face, my mind's in your eyes. Can your love embrace, me as I am?"_

I think I smiled, but I wasn't sure. The feeling that rolled inside of me was beyond what smiling could express. The drums echoed the beat of my heart during the chorus and Jasper's guitar and voice joined with Edward and his piano.

"_In the silence you stare at the world. Your eyes are screaming to be heard. I want to learn you inside out."_

I loved to watch him moved with his music, his face changing as he sang into the microphone. It was a beautiful and mesmerizing song, and I knew it had to have been written by Edward. It felt like he was singing from his soul.

"_Time isn't on our side. All we have is now, for the rest of our lives. Let's stay up all night."_

The chorus shifted into the bridge and Edward was moving a little more with the increased edge of the music. His fingers slowed back down as he played a few chords without singing. He looked down at his fingers for a bit before looking back to me when he sang. The chorus came back one more time, but it was followed with more…..more emotion, more power…

"_I see all that you want to be. Look into your soul looking right back at me. I want to learn you inside out."_

I felt heated under the intensity of his gaze, my heart pounding louder than the drums. Jasper played his guitar and swayed to the beat as Edward finished the song. When the last chord was played on the piano, it was totally quiet in the club. The silence was almost louder than that actual music…and then the uproar came. People cheered and yelled and stomped their feet in appreciation. I was on my feet with the rest of the table, holding my hands up high and clapping. I was distracted as I felt a hand nudge my side. I turned and saw Alice holding a hand full of bar napkins, smiling softly at me. I looked at her confused for a second before I realized she was handing them to me because I was crying. The tears had apparently been falling for some time and I wiped them away as quickly as possible. I looked up and saw Edward smiling at the crowd in thanks and then turn to me as he got up. He frowned when he saw me wiping my tears away, but I just grinned up at him and shouted out one more time with crowd. He gave me a crooked smile and he and Jasper walked off the stage.

************************

We all sat around the bar until they kicked us out. Both Edward and Jasper had sat down with us with several slaps on the back, hugs and congratulations…and not all of them were from us. Several strangers came up to them and gave them praise and I was pleased to see Edward's smile stay all night. I was also very happy to have him hold my hand under the table the whole time. We all headed back to the house riding high on one of the best nights of the year.

The girls tried to convince me to go with them back to Forks, but it was more half-hearted than usual. They knew that my desire to stay home had more to do with Edward being there than anything else, and I think that was the only reason they were not physically dragging me with them on break. I didn't know what they planned on telling Emmett, but I was dead set on having some more alone time with Edward.

It was late when we got home and we all said our goodnights and went to our separate rooms. I noticed Alice whispering something in Jasper's ear that had him chasing her up the stairs, taking two at a time. I laughed and shook my head as I greeted Jake and got ready for bed.

Edward tapped on my door and snuck in a short while later. I wasn't lying under the covers; I was sitting on them cross-legged, anxiously waiting for him. As soon as he got close enough I launched myself at him and gave the congratulations that I wanted to give him all along. He grabbed me and laughed quietly against my lips in surprise, but I didn't let that distract me. I pulled on his hair and ran my tongue along his lips, asking for permission. He moaned and opened his mouth, allowing me to touch his tongue with mine. I would never get used to the effect his kisses have on me. We both gasped into each other's mouths, our lips crushing against each other. He moved his hands to my waist and held on as we broke apart for air. He brushed the hair back from my face and smiled down at me. "Not that I am complaining, but what was that for?"

I couldn't help but to hug him, my arms sliding around to hold him to me tightly. He chuckled and the sound reverberated against my ear. His hands stroked my back gently. I turned my head to look up at him. "I am so proud of you. You were wonderful tonight." Edward looked at me with gentle eyes. "I was worried when I saw you crying, I thought that I butchered it up big time." I shook my head. "It was the most beautiful song I have ever heard. You wrote it, didn't you?" It was a question but I posed it like a fact. He smiled sheepishly and nodded. "You really liked it?"

"Edward, I loved it. I was crying because it was so moving, so beautiful."

He cupped my face in his warm hands. "I started writing that during fall break. Bella, I wrote it for you."

I felt my mouth fall open slightly and my eyes widen. "You….you what?"

He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose, my forehead, both cheeks. "I wrote that song for you. You inspired it. That is why it is so beautiful. It's about you."

I felt the tears this time. Edward murmured to me softly and moved to kiss the wetness off my cheeks. I clutched him tightly as the emotions poured over me. I didn't know what to do, how to respond to such an unbelievable gift. I managed to pull back from him enough to capture his lips in mine in a burning kiss. I poured everything I was feeling into that kiss, trying to tell him without words. There was no way I could begin to describe how much I felt for him in that moment. I whispered against his lips. "Thank you." Such inadequate words, but they made Edward smile and kiss me with renewed enthusiasm as we sank onto the bed.

**There you have it, the song that inspired the story. I don't know about you guys but I can close my eyes and totally picture Edward sitting on stage at a piano singing this into a microphone. I think Jason Wade and Robert Pattinson both have very smooth, smoky and sensual voices, don't you agree?**

**No, they are not getting busy yet. It just seemed like a good place to stop. I appreciate your patience and hope that you enjoy this chapter. Life has been and will continue to be crazy, so it may be a week or so until my next update. Happy Easter! **

**The songs are in my profile along with a link to a video that you MUST see! It is a Team Switzerland video and it gives me chills! I watch it almost daily.**

**Next chapter will be some alone time and probably revealing their Christmas gifts to each other…you will never guess what Edward is giving to Bella!**

**Do your thing.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: If owned them there would be no such thing as "fade to black" scenes in Breaking Dawn…..it would be chock full of pillow biting, headboard busting, body bruising goodness.**

**On that note….have a little nookie time with Edward. : ) Be warned…it gets graphic!**

Chapter 15

_**B**_

_**Kenny G- "Silver Bells" and Winter Wonderland"**_

It was two days before Christmas and not a creature was stirring, not even Alice. Everyone had left for Forks that morning after we exchanged gifts. They tried one more time to get me to come with them, and I was pleased to see they included Edward in the invitation too. We both declined, giving them lame excuses that only Emmett bought. He looked between the two of us in a puzzling way, but then left with a parting look at Edward. They must have had some man-talk before, because all Edward did was nod.

Edward and I had not exchanged presents; in fact we didn't even mention that we had gifts for each other. I had never been one for Christmas spirit, but I found myself strangely motivated to bring some holiday cheer into the house. I got out all the ingredients to make sugar cookies and start humming to myself as I mixed the dough. My humming was interrupted by music flowing through the house. Edward had turned on the stereo downstairs and soft, jazz-like Christmas music reached my ears and made me smile. A moment later he stepped into the kitchen, an adorable half-smile on his face.

"Would you like some company?" I nodded and smiled as he sat at the kitchen table, watching me work. I could feel the weight of his gaze on me as I moved. It didn't feel uncomfortable, exactly. It was a steady, heavy heat…full of promise and anticipation. The relief that we felt knowing we had the house to ourselves also opened up a new kind of tension. I was mostly content to have him in the kitchen with me, listening to Christmas music while I baked cookies. But there was a growing part of me that wondered what the night would bring for the both of us. I felt my face heat and I fought for a distraction.

"What do you usually do for Christmas break?" I didn't turn to him when I asked this. I slipped the cookies into the oven and tried to get my hormones under control. _Me…Bella Swan….having lustful thoughts about a guy….who would've thought that would ever happen?_

I could practically hear Edward shrug. "Last year I went to Texas with Jazz. They didn't do much to celebrate, which was fine by me. Before that…."

His pause made me turn to him. His face was pulled down into a frown and he didn't meet my eyes. "My family used to go all out for Christmas; lights, decorations, tons of presents…the whole nine yards." He didn't sound too happy with the memory. I winced inwardly. "Does this bother you?" I gestured towards the baking cookies and the living room, where the music was softly playing. He understood what I meant. He gave me a half smile, not the grin I always loved to see, but I would take it. "It doesn't bother me, Bella. There is nowhere else I would rather be." I bit my lips and ducked my head, an uncontrollable habit he said was adorable to him. He pushed away from the table and reached for my chin, lifting my face to his. I held my hands to my sides, not wanting to get sticky cookie dough on him. He tucked my loose hair behind my ears before nuzzling his face against mine, breathing in my scent. His breath tickled against my ear and sent shockwaves to certain parts of my body.

My hands twitched with the need to touch him, to bring him to my anxious lips. He either sensed my need and decided to tease me, or he really had no idea what effect he had on me because he continued his sweet torture. I felt the stubble brush roughly against my jaw as he moved ever so slowly towards my lips. He stopped before touching them, hovering just a breath away. He moved up to kiss the tip of my nose, then my cheek on the other side. I started squirming as he rubbed the other side of my jaw in that same, slow fashion. His nose bumped my ear and I begged him in a strangled whisper, "Edward…please…"

He ignored me, laying hot kisses where my ear met my jaw. His hands moved down to the sides of my neck and his thumbs rubbed gently on my sensitive skin. His body pushed against mine, trapping my gently against the counter edge. I couldn't take any more. I buried my fingers in his hair and held him still as I crashed my lips to his. We both moaned at the same time, pouring it into each other's gasping mouths. The electric shock was still there, no matter how many times we kissed. And it never failed to render me senseless.

He moved his hands to brace on the counter top behind me, pressing the full length of himself against me. I once again felt the evidence of his arousal, hard and hot against my lower stomach, not quite where I needed it. I was not afraid of him…never afraid of Edward. No matter what our pasts, no matter what demons followed us… when we were together it was just us, Edward and Bella.

I grabbed at his back and shoulders, trying to angle myself and relieve the burning pressure building inside of me. Edward caught onto my movements and grabbed my rear, lifting me on the counter. There was no threat of roommates entering the kitchen and exposing us, so I didn't hold back my cries of pleasure. Edward's tongue pushed hotly against mine and his hands clenched on my hips, pulling me closer. I answered his urgency, pulling myself against him and finally…finally he was where I needed him to be. His hardness pressed between my legs and I could feel his throbbing heat through our layers of jeans. Edward growled and moved his mouth to my neck, nibbling where he knew I liked it the most. I let my head fall back to give him better access and one of his hands moved from my face and tangled in my long hair.

Edward's hips moved, surged against mine and I gasped. The friction between us was building in dizzying heights and I pushed back against him out of instinct. It both relieved the ache and made it worse. I was throbbing, almost painfully…and very aware of the growing wetness between my shaking legs. Edward's kissed traveled down my neck and traced along my collar bones, nipping and licking as I clutched him. When I clenched my legs around his waist he gasped into the scooped neckline of my sweater. "Fuck…."

His hands and mine were tangled as we both reached for the hemline of my sweater. When his hooded eyes met mine, I paused suddenly unsure. I wanted to do this; I wanted to bare myself completely to Edward, inside and out. But old insecurities surfaced, and I bit my lip, trying desperately to hold on to the confidence that desire had temporarily granted me. Edward saw my hesitation, and I saw his. He was practically shaking with restraint as he looked at me carefully, waiting for a signal from me. I didn't move my hands, but I squeezed my legs tighter. His eyes rolled back before closing and he took a shaky breath in and out before opening them again. He gave me a reassuring smile before pulling back. I whimpered at the loss of contact, but then I realized what he was doing. Edward reached up and behind his head, grabbing the neckline of his gray t-shirt and pulled it over his head. I felt my mouth go totally dry at the sight of the exposed skin before me. His torso was nicely muscled and nearly hairless, except for a small trail of dark hair that led from his navel and disappeared into his jeans. I blushed again when I thought how much of a shame it was that the show stopped there. I dragged my gaze back up his lean body, my hands barely able to hold me up on the counter. When I looked back to his perfect face, he had a smug and lustful smile on his lips. I blushed more, but I realized what he had done for me. He took the first step and that made me bolder, bringing back the heart-pounding excitement. I sat upright and resolutely tugged the sweater over my head. Edward watched me carefully, keeping his eyes on my face. I hesitated with my tank top for a moment, then pulled it over my head and threw it on the floor next the sweater. It took everything I had not to cover myself with my hands. I wished desperately that I had worn something a little sexier than my standard white bra, but there was no way I was going to be able to pull it off right this second.

Edward's eyes were still on my face, but he was breathing faster than before. He took one step, then another back between my legs. He slowly reached a hand up, cupping my face and running his thumb over my swollen lips. He raised his eyebrows at me and gave me a hard stare. "You don't have to prove anything to anyone." I smiled slightly at the words and the memory of them. "I know," I whispered to him. I leaned forward to kiss him lightly and he nipped at my lips, licking them with the tip of his tongue. I felt my body start to relax again and I tangled my hands into his hair. He pulled back from me and finally moved his eyes down my body. Where his eyes touched, his fingertips followed…starting first between my collar bones, moving slowly down over my heart. He paused there for a moment and I knew he could feel the rapid beating of my heart against his fingers. He didn't look up at me, but he was very slow and deliberate in his movements, giving me plenty of opportunities to voice any protests I might have….which I had none at this point.

Edward leaned down every so slightly, his breath pouring across my skin and I felt my nipples tighten in response. He moved his fingers and replaced them with his lips. He kissed me over my beating heart, holding himself against me for a long moment. When he looked back up at me, I knew there was nothing on my face but need. His voice was strangled, but serious, "You are so damn beautiful." I couldn't answer him and he didn't seem to need one. He returned his attentions to my chest as I steadied myself with my hands against his shoulders. The shock of having his bare skin under my hands made me shiver delightfully. I could feel his muscles bunch and stretch as he moved. He rained kisses along my skin, over the swells of my breasts. My hands trailed lower, gripping his strong arms and leaning back to give him better access, full permission to have his way with me. I didn't know anything but the burning fire building up in me again. My stomach was tight and fluttering and my chest practically heaved with my breathing. Edward braced one arm behind my back to support me and moved the other to cup my breast. I moaned in pleasure and Edward kneaded me through that pesky scrap of cloth separating us. I began to move my hips again, and he moved forward to meet my call.

If it was even possible, he seemed harder and larger than before. Or maybe I was just that much more sensitive to him. He moved his hips, rocking them against me and the wetness between my legs became obvious. Edward must have felt something, because he looked down to where our jean-clad bodies were joined. I looked too and was almost embarrassed to see that my wetness had soaked to the front of his pants. My embarrassment didn't last though. Edward's arm clenched around my back and pulled me harder against him. "Jesus, Bella…." I ran my fingers up and down his muscled back and he slipped his fingers down my bra, pulling the material until my breast was exposed. I didn't have much time to register the effect of the cool air on my skin before his lips descended.

He was branding me, with his lips, teeth and tongue. I ground myself against him, meeting his thrusts with my own as he manipulated my tender flesh. When his mouth closed over my nipple and sucked gently, I cried out. My voice seemed to echo louder than it should in the small kitchen and Edward pulled back from me. His hips had stilled and I stopped as well. He stared up at me, my body still leaning back on the countertop. His breath moved across my wet skin, causing a whole new shockwave to roll through me. Edward grinned as I moaned. "You're done, Bella."

_What? I was done? That was it?_ "No, I'm not done yet." I tried sitting up and reaching for him and he laughed. "No, the timer went off. You're cookies are going to burn." I blinked at him stupidly for a second before realizing that my cries of pleasure had mixed with the trilling of the egg timer. I laughed along with him and rested my head against his shoulder. He ran his hands up and down my back and over my hair gently. I pulled back and adjusted my bra back to where it should be, and looked up to see Edward gazing at me. The look he had was a mixture of shock and hunger and I felt a little self conscious. "What?" I started to jump off the counter, but he helped, steadying me on trembling legs. He shook his head, like he was coming out of sort of fog. "Edward, are you okay?" I reached up and smoothed a lock of errant hair from his forehead. He took that hand and placed a tender kiss to my palm, licking my fingers slightly. It was only then that I realized the mess I had made.

My hands had left bits of cookie dough and flour stuck in his hair and on his shoulders. I bit my lips and started to giggle. "Sorry about the mess." Edward shook his head. "You should see yourself." He wiped along my cheek and came back with flour on his fingers. I looked down at myself and laughed to see Edward-sized handprints floured on my body. A glance at the counter where I had been sitting showed that we had knocked over the bag of flour in our lust-ridden actions. I wiped a little off my skin, but it was going to take a shower to completely take care of it. I shrugged and pulled on a pair of oven mitts and retrieved the first tray of cookies. They were slightly more brown than I would have liked, but still very delicious looking. I turned around and saw Edward was still looking at me with wide eyes. I hadn't put my shirt back on yet, but I didn't see how that would have this kind of effect on him. I set the cookies down to cool and gave him a questioning look.

After a few hard swallows, he managed to speak. "You don't have any idea…..the way you look right now…." I frowned and shifted nervously. He stopped and shook his head again. "I had this dream….you, in the kitchen, flour all over you…" He stopped and closed his eyes and I fought back a smile. _Edward Cullen? Dreaming about me?_

Edward opened his eyes again and gave me a half-grin. "Do me a favor and stay away from apples until I can get myself under control." I cocked my head to the side, my brows furrowed in confusion. "Apples?" Edward laughed nervously and ran a hand through his sticky hair. "I need to go take a shower….a very long, cold shower." He grinned at me and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll be back down soon," he promised and took one more long look at my flour-covered body. I thought I might have heard him groan, but it was cut off as he stalked resolutely out of the kitchen. It took me a few moments to break out of my daze long enough to start the next batch of cookies.

_Merry Christmas to me._

***********************

That evening found me and Edward curled up together under a warm blanket on the couch. The TV was off, but music still played softly. The snow had started falling a few hours ago and the setting sun gave just enough light for us to watch the flakes falling. I leaned back against his chest, a sigh of contentment coming from me. Edward nuzzled my still-damp hair on the top of my head. "What are you thinking about?" he murmured. I pulled his arms tighter around me. "I am thinking about you." I felt a chuckle rumble through his chest. "Well then I hope that was a happy sigh." I craned my head to turn my face to his. "Oh, most definitely." We smiled into each other's mouths for a sweet kiss that made my toes curl and my chest tight. I turned back around and smiled as the last of the light faded from the sky.

Edward brushed the hair from my shoulder and placed a gentle kiss on the exposed skin. I felt his lips move into a smile as I shivered. "Bella?"

"Hmmm?" My eyes were closed and I leaned my head back on his shoulder.

"What was Christmas like for you? I mean, when you had your mom."

He spoke hesitantly, like he was afraid I would be upset with the question. I patted his hand reassuringly. It didn't hurt to talk about the good times.

"It was our favorite time of year. Mom would take the decorations out of the attic the day after Thanksgiving and would leave them up right until New Years. Most of our decorations were home-made and our tree was this ugly fake plastic thing." I smiled remembering the ornaments that crowded the poor, small tree…making it look twice as bad as it did plain. "We didn't have much, so we usually made our presents to each other. I would make a big dinner and we would watch Christmas movies all day."

Edward had his mouth next to my ear and whispered, "That sounds nice." I nodded, "It really was."

We didn't speak for a few moments, and it took a while for me to build up the courage to ask him something that had been on my mind for a while. I started and stopped a couple of times before Edward whispered again. "Just ask me, Bella."

I turned to look at him while I spoke. "Edward, why don't you talk to your parents anymore?" His green eyes bore into mine for a minute before turning to stare out into the darkness of the window. I took a hint and turned back to the window as well. I guess it made it easier for him to talk about it without me looking directly at him, because he continued in a low, neutral voice.

"When we found out Tanya was sick, I wasn't afraid. I watched my mom cry and my dad hold her and Tanya's hand, but I didn't think much of it. I was sad that my little sister was sick, of course, but I saw Dad fix sick people all the time, why should this be different."

He took a shaky breath and I rubbed my hands across his forearms gently. "I went to college and Tanya started chemotherapy. I was near home, but I was so busy I didn't see my family that often. Football took up most of my free time, and every time I called home Tanya sounded happy, upbeat…so did my parents. So I didn't think much of it.

"It was during my final exam of the fall semester that I realized how sick Tanya really was. One of the questions on my exam had a scenario on it, and it was about a patient with leukemia. We were given the vitals and test results and were supposed to suggest a course of action. I basically wrote down that the patient should be made comfortable and prepare for the worst. It was then…._right then_…that I realized I was basically writing about my sister."

Edward was tensing up around me and I started to turn to embrace him. "No, please. Let me finish." I kept still and waited for him to continue. I heard the pain in his voice and it lanced through me as well.

"I drove home for the first time in months and when I went up to Tanya's room she was leaning over her bed…sick from the chemo. My mother was holding her upright. I don't remember much about that time, but all I could think was _"that's not my sister"_. Mom says I didn't say anything out loud, which I am grateful for.

"All her hair was gone and she had lost so much weight. She was just skin and bones, wrapped up in a cheerful nightgown. There were so many tubes coming out of her. I started bawling like a fucking baby, kneeling on my sister's bedroom floor. When she looked up and saw me there, she just grinned at me and said she had missed me. I had been at school, partying with my friends, playing football and my baby sister had been fucking _dying_."

Edward's voice got choked then and I couldn't wait anymore. I turned in his arms and wrapped myself around him. My arms reached around his back and my head lay next to his. His face was pressed against my shoulder, his arms around me, but he didn't stop talking.

"My parents knew how bad it was, and they didn't tell me. My father was God as far as I was concerned. He cured people, he fixed them. They got to go home to their families, happy and healthy and _living_. Why couldn't he fix her?"

I felt my tears staining his shirt, but I just held him tighter.

"When I saw my father next, I punched him in the face. He didn't try to fight me back, but my mother slapped me. I remember her crying and yelling at me while my father just sat on the floor where he fell, looking at me with so much guilt. I moved back home that night to be close to my sister…and I knew, I fucking knew she was going to die.

"In front of her, we were one big happy family. I joked around with Dad and kissed Mom's cheek, but as soon as she left the room I closed myself off from them. I couldn't get past the fact that they had kept this from me. I had been so disillusioned by my father and his inability to save the most important person in my life."

I spoke through my tear-clogged throat. "That's why you aren't pre-med anymore, right?" He nodded against my shoulder and took a breath before pulling back from me. He didn't look me in the eyes, and that plus the tear stains on his cheeks made me bite my lip to keep from crying out. I wiped the wetness away the best I could with my hands. I took comfort when he kissed my fingers gently, holding my hands in his.

"When she died, I went to that dark place. School started back up but I was not the same person I used to be." He looked at me then. "Bella, I used to be the 'golden child', the kid every parent wants. I got good grades, I was the star quarterback riding on a full scholarship. Now….now I am broken." I shook my head to protest. "You aren't broken, Edward. You were lost and grieving, but you aren't broken." He put his finger on my lips. "Yes, I am broken, and I broke my parents as well. It's my fault we don't talk now." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I got mixed into some bad shit; some of it was my fault and some of it I just went along with because it wasn't anything I would usually do. When I got expelled from school, I went back home one last time. My parents started lecturing me and talking about getting me into some sort of program, but I lost it. I started screaming at how it was all their fault and that I was just as dead as Tanya was."

I winced when I heard this and he nodded at my reaction. "Yeah, that was what broke us apart. They kicked me out and I never looked back. I lived with a few friends here and there until I got a call from Coach Meyers."

I placed my hands behind his neck, locking them in his hair and tried to soothe him with my touches. "Edward, your parents should have told you about Tanya." I stopped, hesitated. Edward nodded at me. "But?"

It was my turn to sigh. "But maybe, do you think they were just trying to protect you? There was nothing you could have done for her, you know that, right?"

Edward gave me a smile, but it was a sad one. "My mom told me they were trying to protect me, to give me as normal a life as possible. I didn't care. I was still so angry I didn't want to believe her."

I kept rubbing his neck and scalp and I felt his muscles slowly unclench. "Do you miss them?" He closed his eyes and leaned back against my touch. "Yeah, I really do. I couldn't see past my anger for the longest time, but lately I have been missing them a hell of a lot." His deep green eyes opened to bore into mine. "I'm broken, Bella. I need you to understand that. I am not a whole person yet, but I am getting there." He reached back for my hands and brought them to his mouth, rubbing his lips back and forth across my knuckles. "I'm broken, but I feel like I am healing…and that's because of you. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am becoming something…._someone_ better. You make me want to be whole again."

I turned my palms to cup his cheeks. I had to lean up on my knees to reach him and kiss his forehead. My lips touched each of his drying cheeks, feeling the flutter of his eyelids against my skin. I brushed his lips with mine, a gesture of comfort and not of heat. I had seen the most raw part of him, and he put so much stock in my ability to heal him, but he had no idea the only reason I was here with him was a result of how he healed _me_.

Edward spoke against my lips. "The things you do to me….every time you touch me, kiss me…I feel like I am not in that dark place anymore."

I kissed him again gently. "Edward, this…" I kissed his lips, "…and this…" I kissed his neck. I bent to press my lips against his heart through his t-shirt. "…this…" I sat back up, reaching for his hand and kissing his knuckles before laying his palm against my own chest, over my heart. "All of this…this is only because of you. You are the only reason any of this is possible. Someone broken couldn't have done that, only you….this is what you have done for me." I looked at him unblinking, trying to tell him what words were failing to do. I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure…yet. I needed….I needed….

I closed the distance between us, taking his lips in mine. His hands reached around my back to pull me closer and deepen the kiss. I met his tongue with mine and we nipped at each other, soothing the bites with gentle caresses. I felt a warmth come over me, the confidence that only Edward could give me. I pulled back from him again, giving him my most direct look, no hesitation, no flinching.

"I'm in love with you, Edward."

I felt him stop breathing for a second…then two…and I started to get a little worried. "Breath, Edward."

He exhaled loudly and blinked a few times. I started to squirm under his unreadable gaze. "Say something, please."

"I know."

_Well, that's not quite what I expected_.

"You know what?" My confusion was battling with embarrassment, all the confidence leaking out of me. Edward gave me a small smile. "I know you love me."

I started to move away from him, but his arms just tightened around me. "How did you know that?" I couldn't look at him, but I was apparently not going anywhere so I might as well get the whole embarrassing experience, right?

Edward kissed my forehead. "You talk in your sleep."

I looked back up at him and he still had his half-smile in place. "I….told you I loved you…in my sleep?" My voice had a squeaky edge to it. Edward nodded and traced my jaw with his fingers, tucking them under my chin so I had to bring my face up to his. He leaned in and proceeded to kiss the breath out of me…literally. I felt the world spinning around me and when Edward pulled back to let us breathe, I was mildly surprised to see I was now on my back on the couch, and his was lying on top of me. He allowed us a few breaths before returning to devour my lips, taking my lower one into his mouth and sucking gently, running his tongue along my top one. His hands didn't stay in one place, they moved from my hips, up to my hair and everywhere in between. I was squirming underneath him, quickly becoming distracted, thrown into a haze of desire. I clutched at his hair, his back…boldly moving my hands to settle over his rear…_oh my_.

Edward growled and moved his kisses from my lips to my jaw, kissing a line up to my ear. I shivered as his breath moved over my sensitive flesh, so absorbed in my passionate feelings that his words shocked me.

"You don't know how long I have loved you."

I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back against the couch and swallowed reflexively. The relief overwhelmed me and I felt tears fighting to be released. Edward's hand trailed over my hair uncertainly. "Bella?"

I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. I had no doubt his words were true. People could lie with their mouth, but not with their eyes. Edward's eyes had love pouring through them, bathing me in the overwhelming emotion. How had I not seen that before? I moved my fingers over his face, tracing his features as if I had never seen them before. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality." Edward moved his hand to hold mine against his face. "I'm here, Bella. _We_ are here…_we_ are real."

When we kissed again, it was soft, gentle….barely a brush of the lips. But the emotions behind them were so much more, and I knew that tonight I wanted all that kiss promised.

I moved out from under Edward and managed to get to my feet. He looked up at me with curious eyes, until I held out my hand. He wrapped his warm fingers around mine and stood lithely. I led the way up the stairs.

****************

_**The Spill Canvas- "Under the Covers"**_

Edward stared down at me in the dark, not touching me yet. I met his eyes bravely, determination keeping me calm. I lifted one shaky hand and placed it on his chest. His heart beat as fast and as hard as mine did, and I took comfort in that. My hand moved down the soft shirt, stopping at the hem. He still didn't reach out to touch me, letting me control this night. I tugged up on the shirt and he helped me draw it over his head and toss it to the floor, forgotten and not missed. I stared unabashedly at his chest, placing my hand back on him, this time flesh against flesh. I explored his body, moving my hand across the firm muscles, running my fingers down the middle of his chest, down to his firm stomach. I could feel the muscles trembling under my touch and I looked up to see his face. His lips were parted slightly, his eyes hooded with lust and full of encouragement. I bit my lip and looked back to my exploring hand. My fingers dipped around his navel and tickled the hair that trailed down underneath it. I was fixated on the grooves next to his hips and I desperately wanted to continue that line of flesh.

I ran one finger along the top of his low-slung jeans and heard him hiss in response. One of his hands finally came up to run over my hair, and then fell back to his side. I saw that his fists were clenched tightly and I appreciated the effort he was making to help me feel more comfortable. I felt my mouth dry up and my heart speed up more as I used both hands to gently unbutton his jeans. I looked back up at him and his lips crashed down on mine with a groan. It took me a moment to unclench my hands from his button and move to his zipper. Edward kept his hands to his sides, but worked magic with just his lips. I felt the warmth overtake me again as he thrust his hips against my hands once, as if he couldn't help it. I felt his hardness straining against the denim that encased him, and I gasped into Edward's mouth. I carefully pulled down on his zipper, slow enough to make it torture for us both.

When his pants were undone I pushed down on the material and it fell into a heap around his ankles. I couldn't bring myself to touch him again, not yet. Instead, I reached up and wrapped my hands around his neck, deepening the kiss and pressing my body against him. Edward finally moved his hands to me, wrapping them around my body and pulling me close. I felt his hard length trapped between us, and it made the wetness between my legs return in response. Our bodies spoke to each other, guiding us towards what we both wanted most.

Edward gripped my shirt and pulled it over my head, breaking our kiss only long enough to remove the offending material, and then we were locked together again. He ran his large hands down the line of my back, making me arch against him even more. His hands rested at my waist for a bit while he moved his lips to my ear. When he sucked on the lobe, I felt my knees start to shake and buckle. Edward bent slightly and picked me up into his arms. He stepped out of his pants and moved to my bed, laying me down gently. He kept his eyes on mine as he lay on his side next to me. I closed my eyes as he ran a hand down the center of my chest and stopped at the top of my pants. "If you want to stop, you have to tell me. Promise, Bella….promise to tell me." He whispered to me and waited for me to open my eyes. I licked my lips and swallowed. "I promise."

He smiled gently and slid his hand under my back, lifting me slightly off the mattress. He fumbled with the clasp of my bra for a second and the anticipation made me shiver and squirm. The clasp released and he laid me back down. I gave him a smile and he removed my bra, laying it gently to the side. I grabbed his hair as he kissed me again, and then moved down the line center of my body. He kissed his way between my breast and I ached with the desire of his touch. "Edward, please…."

He knew what I was asking for. I whimpered as a hand cupped one breast, running his fingers lightly over my nipple. The other breast was not left out…his mouth wasted no time finding my hard point. I arched underneath him as his fingers and tongue brought me pleasure that I never knew existed. My fingers twisted in his hair and the moan from his mouth in response caused me to cry out. Edward switched over to the other breast, loving it with his mouth as thoroughly as the first. I moved my hands to his back, digging my fingers into his bare skin. He hovered above me, not touching me except for his mouth and hand and I writhed with frustration. My breath came in panting gasps as he finally released my swollen nipples and moved further down my body. I felt my stomach tighten as his kissed it reverently, running his tongue around my naval and lower, to nibble on each of my hip bones. It was as ticklish as it was erotic and I wriggled underneath his attention. He looked up my body to smile at me.

When he leaned back to kneel next to me, I got my first full look of him. He was perfect in every single way, flawless…beautiful. His muscles moved underneath his pale skin, made even more pale with the contrast of his black boxers. I felt a flush burn its way up my neck and face when I saw the evidence of his arousal, making a sizeable tent in the silky material. I managed to tear my gaze away and move to his legs. They were as tight and as muscular as the rest of him, but my view was blocked when he reached for me again.

Edward's hands reached for my pants, undoing the button and gently lowering the zipper. Each touch made the heat between my legs throb almost painfully. Any shyness I had was being pushed back with wave after wave of desire. This was how it was supposed to be between a man and a woman….this is how love was supposed to be.

I lifted my hips to help him pull the jeans off of me. My underwear was nothing special, plain black bikini briefs, but Edward stared at them like it was the most elaborate lingerie created. He reached a hand out to touch me, but stopped and looked at my face. "Bella?" Lust made his voice thick and low. I nodded at his request, and kept my eyes bravely on him as his peeled the cotton from my hips. I blushed at the wetness that clung to them, certain that Edward noticed it as well. He moved his hands from my feet, up my legs and then resting at me hips. My breathing was becoming erratic and it was becoming a Herculean effort to not close my eyes or turn away. Edward looked up at me, lying on his side again to put his face near mine. "Are you okay?" I nodded, but didn't say anything. "Do you want to stop?" I shook my head in the negative, again, not speaking.

Edward cupped my face with his warm hand, his thumb soothing me. "Bella, if you are scared you need to tell me." I blinked up at him, scared…but only scared of him pulling away. "I want to keep going, Edward….really." I kept my voice steady and met his eyes, showing him how serious I was. He pursed his lips and I was afraid that I had ruined our night. He thought for a second and then regarded me again. "What if…you touched me first? Would that be better?"

I swallowed, my throat running dry all of the sudden. My heart was thumping loudly, but the thought of touching Edward had turned the direction of my feelings. "I'm not sure, but I would like to try," I answered honestly. He smiled down at me and gave me a gentle kiss. I felt him shift and when he turned back to me, his body pressed against me, warm and completely bare. I gasped and the warmth returned again. I was very much aware that both of us were now completely naked, and the excitement overrode my insecurities. I could feel Edward's arousal against my stomach, thick, heavy and hot. I wanted to know him, know his body. My curiosity made me brave, and I looked up at Edward. "Tell me what to do…tell me what you like." I wanted to know that I had given him as much pleasure as he has given me. Edward didn't smile, but his face softened and he nibbled on the corner of my lips. "Put your hand over mine," his whispered against me. I did as he asked and he moved our hands down the center of his body. He hesitated, looking at me for any signs of fear. I kissed him reassuringly and he moved our hands over the heat of him.

I couldn't help but gasp at the sensation. I could feel the shape, the heat through Edward's hand. My fingers rested over his as he moved slowly up and down his length. Our hands brushed against my bare stomach occasionally and also over the fine hair surrounding his hardness. After a few moments, Edward stopped our hands. "Touch me Bella, please." I couldn't deny him. I moved my hand from the top of his and reached for his arousal. I felt my mouth open involuntarily as I touched him with my own hands for the first time. His skin was smooth, silky. I cold feel him throbbing in time with his heartbeat and when he twitched under my touch, a shock was sent straight between my legs.

I wrapped my fingers around him as he had done before, applying gentle pressure. Edward captured my lips in another kiss, smothering his moans against my mouth. It was all the encouragement I needed. I started running my hand up and down his length, stopping the brush against the thickness at the top, marveling at the wetness that appeared. The more I moved my hand, the more Edward's hips moved. He thrust against my hand, again and again, matching the movements with his tongue in my mouth. I moaned as well, his passion evident and I rode it with him. The wetness between my legs was increasingly, smearing my thighs as I writhed against him. I moved my lips to his neck and pulled his flesh between my teeth. He growled and gripped my hips tightly. I pulled back to look at his face. His eyes were shut tight and his jaw was clenched. "Am I hurting you?" I asked concerned. Edward's eyes shot open and he gasped as he spoke. "God, no. It feels good…so fucking good." He thrust against my hands again, and I gladly resumed my ministrations.

My skin felt overly sensitive, so I was very aware of when Edward's hands moved from my hips. His fingers trailed down my upper thighs, and back up…stopping just below where I needed him to touch the most. I felt myself opening up to him instinctively. "Edward….touch me…please," I panted into his neck. His length seemed to harden even further with my words, and more wetness appeared at the head, my fingers spreading it around to aid my movements. Part of it was instinct, part of it was locker-room talk, but all I knew was that Edward liked me touching him…and I was ready for him to touch me.

I trembled as his fingers brushed against my curls, and Edward stopped long enough to look at my eyes again. "Remember your promise…"

I nodded and reached up with my free hand to drag him down to my lips again. His fingers sifted through my curls and then lower, towards the throbbing that ached through me. His long fingers cupped my wet flesh and I moaned loudly. Edward twitched under my hand and his voice was a husky whisper. "I love you…so much Bella…"

I kissed him and whispered back to him. "I love you, Edward." My whisper turned into another moan as he moved one long finger in between my wet folds, running the length of it up and down me. I opened my legs wider, grinding my hips up to him. My head was thrown back against the pillows and his mouth moved to my exposed neck. _Yes… _this is what I needed, what I was missing all this time. Edward knew me, inside and out and he gave my body and heart exactly what they wanted.

Edward's long finger stopped at the bundle of nerves that throbbed under the pressure of his hand. He ran his finger around it in agonizing circles, not quite touching it. My hips bucked and I almost sobbed with need. Edward's voice somehow reached my ears. "Bella, please…don't stop…"

I hadn't realized that my hand was frozen on Edward's throbbing length, so lost in my desire. I continued to pump him, more insistent now. He responded in kind, finally closing his finger over my sensitive flesh. I cried out his name as he rubbed gently before moving his fingers lower. I felt him at my entrance, his fingertips moving in slow circles. I lifted my hips and he slid one fingertip inside. I concentrated hard on keep my hand moving against him and not to get lost in the sensations he was invoking in me. Edward moved his hips and pressed himself against my stomach, my hand brushing against the heavy sacs beneath him. He groaned with the contact and I knew it was one of pleasure. I turned my attention to the exploration of this new flesh, running my fingers gently over it.

"Bella...Bella…" he chanted over and over. His finger moved in and out of me, going deeper each time. I thought nothing could feel as good…until he used his thumb to rub against my clit while pumping in and out of me. I cried out again, a pressure building up inside me trying to claw its way out. I could barely breathe, my gasps being echoed by Edward. I cupped him gently and he thrust hard and insistent against my stomach. His finger moved deep inside me, touching something that was quickly becoming the key to my unraveling. I wrapped my fingers around his length again and pumped him in time with the fingers moving inside me. The throbbing was almost unbearable, spreading up my spine and making me arch against him. Edward moved his head down to capture a waiting nipple into his hot mouth….and that was my undoing.

I felt my legs shake and spasm as my body clenched around his finger, explosions resonating from the aching flesh under his thumb. I sobbed wordlessly squeezing him spasmodically and rendering a harsh cry from his lips. He released my nipple and buried his face in between my breasts and cried out again and again, thrusting against me until I felt him twitch in my grasp. I was still writhing when he spilled himself against me, the wetness hot against my stomach.

We lay there, panting against each other. His finger was still deep inside me and my fingers were still wrapped around him. Each time he twitched beneath my palm I felt my body tighten around his finger. Edward groaned and gently removed his finger from me and I moaned at the loss. He pushed himself up to meet me face. His lips brushed gently against mine, once…twice…and then moved to my forehead. I was relieved to see a smile on his face as he pulled back, and I am sure mine looked just as satisfied.

"Edward…that was…" I couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence at the moment, but he knew.

"That was fucking amazing….you have no idea."

I giggled at that. "Oh, I think I have some idea." He gave me a cocky smile, full of male pride. "You liked that?" I nodded and grinned up at him. "I want to do that again."

My words were cut off by a yawn that snuck up on me. Edward chuckled and kissed me lightly. "Sleep now…fool around later." I groaned in protest, but the sleepiness was coming over me like a warm blanket. Edward got up from the bed and walked from the room, naked as the day he was born. I couldn't help but gawk at him as he walked back in the room, a washcloth in his hand. He sat on the bed and cleaned me gently and I started to think that maybe I wasn't sleepy anymore.

Edward lay down next to me and pulled the blanket up over us. I snuggled into his chest and felt every muscle in my body relax against him. He buried his face into my hair, his naked skin warming me all over. I couldn't help but run my hands up and down the line of his back, needing to touch him. I hoped he realized that he has created a monster.

Edward pulled me close and the intimacy of our naked bodies touching was lost in utter contentment. Sleep pulled at me, but I heard Edward whisper that he loved me. I hoped he heard me whisper it back.

**Phew…..that is the longest chapter EVER! You're welcome! : P**

**And on that note I would really appreciate your feedback, because I had never written smut of ANY kind ever in my life. **

**So now you know why Darkward has shunned his parents. He knows that his anger is all him, but how else is a person supposed to react to that kind of situation?**

**I am really excited about where this story is going. I hope to post at least one more chapter this week and then I start back to work. I will be an in-home nanny…so I will either have a lot of time to update or very little time….we'll have to see!**

**Songs in the profile as usual…..do your thing.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own the idea, not the characters…so if someone wants to publish this and make me rich just let me know!**

**Get out the tissue folks…I cried writing it.**

**Songs for this chapter: **

"**Orchard of Mines" Globus**

"**Breathing" by Lifehouse (fits towards the end of the chapter)**

**Chapter 16**

_**E**_

Christmas came about slowly, in filtered stages. The first thing I was aware of was the warm body curled into mine. I was on my side and I could feel the line of Bella's back pressed tight into my chest. There was absolutely nothing separating our skin and already I was smiling. Without opening my eyes, I leaned down and nuzzled into the soft spill of her hair, breathing deeply. My arms had stayed wrapped around her body, one under her head and wrapped over her chest and one firmly attached to her hips. My mind was only half-awake…but my cock was already at full attention.

The last two nights were more mind-blowing that I could have ever anticipated. I have had great sex before, but this was different. We had done nothing more than heavy petting and it was so far beyond any sexual experience I have ever had before. The way Bella had responded to my touches drove me wild. Remembering her whimpers as her tight walls clamped around my finger had my dick twitching against her naked backside. Her hesitation with touching me was slowly fading, but I knew that it was too soon to give into the urge to move my hips a little lower and bury myself into that tightness.

During the day we could hardly keep our hands off each other. We were already pretty bad, but now it was an almost constant need….for me at least. There was always some part of me touching her; a hand on her waist, her feet propped up in my lap, our hands intertwined as we watched lame Christmas movies. I couldn't imagine _not _touching her and I knew we needed to tell Emmett soon. We needed to get this shit over with, one way or another. The belated homecoming game was the second weekend after Christmas, so we had to weeks to figure out how we were going to tell him.

Bella stirred in my arms and I slowly opened my eyes. I didn't want to miss my favorite part of the day. Her head moved a little bit, rubbing my arm sleepily. Then she took a couple of deep breaths, little sighs that had my smile turning into a grin. With her eyes still closed, she slowly stretched cat-like…arching her back and moving her whole body against me. My hand flexed on her hip and I leaned my head down to reach her shoulder. I kept my eyes on her face as I placed slow, warm kisses on that cream-colored skin. Her red lips turned up into a smile and her eyelids fluttered. A few more kisses and her eyes opened. There…my favorite part of the day; her brown eyes opening for the first time and immediately locking onto me.

I claimed her lips in mine and couldn't help but press her hips more firmly into mine. I felt a tremor move through her and I had to break away from the kiss…I was smiling too much. Her cheeks were tinged pink and I nibbled along the color. _She is so damn adorable. _

"Merry Christmas, beautiful," I whispered into her ear. Bella shifted in my arms so that she could wrap hers around my neck. She looked at me for a moment before planting a sweet kiss on my mouth. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

_It sure as hell was._

"I want to cook you breakfast this morning," I told her firmly. She cooked for me all the time and today I wanted to do something for her. I was worried about how she was going to react to the Christmas present I had gotten her, and I was hoping food would fortify her some. _God, I hope I am doing the right thing._

Bella gave me skeptical look. "You aren't going to just pour a couple bowls of cereal and call it a day, are you?" Her voice was teasing and I retaliated immediately. I attacked her ribs with my fingers and fucking rolled in the joy of her laughter. One awesome side-effect of our tickle fight? She had thrashed so much the covers were now down to her waist. I stopped in my torture to rise up on my arms and look down at her glorious body. I saw the flush on her skin follow the path of my eyes. I was enthralled with the fact that her blush went all the way down her chest. She squirmed under my gaze and I tore my eyes away from her breasts to give her a heated look. "Don't for a second ever think that you are anything less than stunning." There was no smiling now; I was dead-fucking serious. She was the most beautiful thing in my life.

Bella turned her face to the side and gave me a misty-eyed look. She didn't get complimented nearly enough in my opinion….something I intended on remedying immediately. I leaned down and planted a kiss directly between her breasts and felt her heart speed up under my lips. Her hands locked themselves in my already messy hair. I planted a trail of kisses from her heart over to one breast, taking little nips here and there just to get her to whimper. I loved that sound.

Bella clenched her fingers tighter and I growled before taking a hard nipple deep into my mouth. She cried out and arched underneath me, brushing her hip against my throbbing erection. I couldn't help myself. I felt like an inexperienced teenager, rubbing against her skin trying to relieve the ever-present ache. I gave a brief glance over at the bed-side table, out of habit mostly. I assumed she wasn't on birth-control and I automatically think that all bed-side tables have condoms in them. The thought of rubbers flew out of my mind when I saw the time. It was almost noon already.

"Fuck." I bit the explicative out between gritted teeth. Bella stopped writhing underneath me, sensing my change of mood. "What? What is it?"

I gave her a tight smile. "It's a little later than I thought it was." She frowned and glanced at the clock. "So? It's not like we have to be anywhere today."

I tried to think of something smooth to say. I didn't want to ruin her surprise, but the longer I pondered on an answer, the more insecure looking she got. She probably thought I was just trying to get out of bed and away from her. I kissed that doubt right away.

After I let her come up for air I just went for the truth, fuck the surprise.

"I have a present for you…and it's supposed to get here in a few hours." I felt my pulse kick up again at the thought. There were several ways this day could turn out, and I sincerely hoped that this wasn't the only time I would see her happy and content all day.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me. "You never mentioned you were getting me a present." I leaned back on my side, reluctantly pulling myself away from her body before I decided 'to hell with Christmas' and jumping on her again. I shrugged at her statement, "That would ruin the surprise, now wouldn't it?"

"And it's being delivered…on Christmas day?"

Again, I shrugged and tried not to give anything away on my face. "I know a guy….special request and all that."

She gave me one more suspicious look, and then bit her lip. I admired the blush coming back before she spoke. "Well, in that case, I guess I could go ahead and give you your present now."

_Welcome back, raging hard-on_. My mind took a nose dive into the gutter and imagined all the different ways Bella's naked body could be wrapped up in a bow. I think I contained the drool…most of it anyways. Apparently I did a shitty job of keeping my dirty thoughts to myself because Bella giggled at me before scooting to the edge of the bed. She reached down to grab a t-shirt off the floor and I realized that she actually had a present for me. The thought made me frown. "You didn't have to get me anything." I didn't want her breaking the bank of all her hard-earned scholarship money to give me anything. I couldn't stay mad when she smiled at me like that though, and when she turned to do so I saw she was wearing my t-shirt. It was huge on her and came to about mid-thigh…and it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. There was nothing better than seeing Bella in one of my shirts. It was like she had hung a sign around her neck saying 'Property of Edward Cullen'. _Oh yeah, I loved that shit._

That sexy body moved over to her closet and I pushed myself up in the bed. I figured if she was going to give me a present I might as well be decent enough of a human being to put on something. I stepped into my boxers, pulling the material carefully up over my slightly calmed morning wood and turned just in time to see Bella take my present out of the closet. I felt my eyes widen and my pulse skyrocket.

There stood my sexy Bella, all decked out in my t-shirt with bed-head and a hesitant smile on those lovely lips….holding an acoustic guitar with a big red bow wrapped around it.

My mouth fell open as she walked over to me. She bit her lip and gave me a shy look. I took one small step to meet her, reaching a hand out but not actually touching the guitar yet. Bella cleared her throat nervously.

"Its not brand new or anything, but the guy said it was a decent brand. He played it a little and it sounded okay to me, but I am not a musician or anything so if it's not what you want or if it sounds like crap I can get…."

"Bella," I choked her name out. My throat was tight with what I was afraid were tears. I finally reached out to take the guitar from her, holding it reverently in my hands. I stroked the polished wood of the arm, ran my fingers lightly over the frets under the heavy strings. I looked back at Bella's face and had a hard time seeing her through the mistiness in my eyes. I blinked a few times to hold back tears before reaching a hand out to cup her cheek. She closed her eyes and smiled, leaning slightly into my hand. Bella had given me a guitar…and I couldn't wrap my mind around the emotions that came with that gift. It was so much more than guitar. She knew how I felt about music and what happened to the last guitar I had owned. She saw me play and somehow knew I was ready for this. This gift showed how much she really cared for me, more than I ever deserved. She had told me she loved me with words, but the full force of the meaning behind those words came crashing over me in overwhelming waves.

I held the guitar out to the side so I could claim her lips. I kissed her deep and hot, telling her with my lips how much I was feeling. That wasn't enough. I pulled back, my hand still on her face. "I love you, Bella Swan. I love you more than my own life…I have always and will always love you."

Bella's eyes were the ones that filled this time. I wiped her tear away as she smiled and leaned back to press her lips to mine again. Her hands slid up my bare chest and settled on my shoulders. I kissed her, the greatest present anyone had ever given me in one hand, and the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my other hand.

Bella whispered against my throbbing lips. "I am so very much in love with you, Edward. Merry Christmas."

We smiled at each other for a long moment, foreheads pressed together and eyes locked. Finally, I pulled back to further inspect my gift. I sat on the edge of the bed and carefully removed the red bow. The instrument curved to my body perfectly. The front of it had a few small scratches and dents and I loved every small imperfection. This guitar was one of a kind from the most important thing in my life. I strummed my fingers over the strings, made a few adjustments to the tuning, then played a few chords in earnest. It played beautifully and I smiled up at Bella. "It's perfect, thank you." Her smile lit up the dim room and she sat down next to me to watch me play.

I played several songs for her, some she had heard before and a few chords of the one I was writing for her next. She leaned her head against me as I played for over an hour. I was reluctant to ever put it down, but the clock reminded me that I needed to get a move on.

Breakfast was out of the question, so I made us sub sandwiches and soup for lunch. I wanted to go all out, but Bella said she was making a big dinner and didn't want us to get too full just yet. I held onto the euphoric feeling from this morning as much as I could. I knew she was watching me glance at the clock ever ten damn minutes, but I couldn't help it. This was important. I was filled with all kinds of doubt. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…maybe I should just call the whole thing off….

**Globus – "Orchard of Mines"**

The sound of a car's brakes snapped my head up. _Too late now._ Bella heard it as well. She gave me a hesitant smile, "They even delivered in the snow?" I gave a nervous laugh. I half-wished it had snowed more than it did, postponing this and giving me a chance to re-think it for the hundredth time.

I told her to wait in the living room as I went to door. I opened it just in time to see the dark-haired guy step out of his car and walk up to the porch. He smiled at me, and it was a smile a lot like Emmett's, warm and genuinely friendly. He held out a hand to me, "Edward I presume?" I nodded and shook his large hand. He was as tall as I was, but with a quiet demeanor. I couldn't help but notice the faint scar near his hairline. It stood out in stark contrast on his dark skin. I stepped aside, gesturing for him to enter. "Please, come in. Thanks for coming up here today." He nodded and stepped into the hallway and waited for me to close the door before speaking. "I can't tell you how much it means to me to be here. I really appreciate…."

His words were cut off as Bella came in from the living room. She looked first to me, smile still in place. She moved her eyes to the newcomer and I held my breath. She gave him a polite smile, but then her smile started to fade. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she looked at him carefully. I saw the moment when recognition hit. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. She gasped once, hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock. I felt my heart rip up as the tears started to fall from both of their eyes as they stared at each other. Bella lowered her hands and whispered, "Seth?"

Seth gave her a trembling smile. "Hey there, Bells."

Bella's knees started shaking and she sobbed once before stumbling forward, arms outstretched. Seth met her in a bone-crushing hug. Bella's arms wrapped around his neck and he had his around her back. When her legs finally gave out they both sank to the floor onto their knees. Their heads were tucked into each other's necks and all I could hear was Bella's loud sobs. Seth ran a hand over her hair, trying to soothe her. "Shhh, Bella its okay…please don't cry…."

I wanted more than anything to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I knew this moment was not about me. I quietly stepped out of the hallway and headed up the stairs to give them some privacy. I hoped that this was something that Bella would want and that I wasn't just reopening old wounds. It was hard to tell at this point. I had planned this as sort of a healing thing for her. I knew how much Seth had meant to her and I would be forever grateful to him for saving her so long ago. There were a lot of emotions in the house today, and not all of them were coming from the pair downstairs.

I didn't shut my door completely, just in case Bella called for me. There weren't a lot of coherent thoughts running through my head in that moment, just emotions…feelings. I slumped onto my bed and reached for my cell phone on the bed-side table. I didn't have to look at the numbers as I dialed from memory. My hands become slick with sweat and shaky as I pressed the phone to my ear, the line ringing almost too loudly. After only two rings, the phone was picked up. "Hello?"

"Mom," my voice was choked again for the second time that day. I wasn't even sure she heard me at first, but then her tear-filled voice carried across the line.

"Edward? Oh my God, please…don't hang up. Edward? Are you there?" Her voice was cracking and I knew she was crying. My own eyes filled with over a year of pent-up emotion. I rubbed my hand through my hair and over my face. "I'm here, Mom. Please don't cry." I echoed the words spoken to Bella and like her, my mother sobbed even louder. I waited and cried right along with her. There was so much I wanted to say; I wanted to apologize, I wanted to know why she didn't tell me about Tanya….

I wanted her…I missed my mother so badly in that moment I could have screamed.

She finally managed to calm down enough to speak between sniffles. "Oh, baby…I miss you so much." I took a shaky breath in. "I miss you too, Mom...so much."

"Are you okay? Are you still in Seattle?"

That surprised me. "How did you know I was in Seattle?" She laughed through her tears. "Silly Edward, we watch all of your football games….record them actually, and watch them over and over. Oh sweetheart, you have been wonderful!"

I knew that the press was all about reporting on the former quarterback who turned bad…but it was nice to know that the games put on a good show. "I'm okay Mom. I am great, actually. I got a scholarship and have kept my grades up. I live with the best roommates and…" I stopped before I could tell her about Bella. Did I want to open that can of worms right now?

But my mother could sense the direction of the conversation. Her voice became slightly teasing, a shadowed reminder of how we used to be. "And? Is there someone special in your life?" _ How did mothers know that shit?_

I felt myself smile slightly and I wished she was there to see it. "Yeah, there is someone very special." That did not even begin to cover what Bella was, but it would do for now.

"Oh Edward, I want to hear all about her and what you have been doing."

I sniffed back the lingering tears. "Are you doing alright Mom?"

"I am better now, baby." I felt a sharp pang of guilt. I wished I could take back so much of the past year.

"Mom…I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done those things and said what I said to you….or to Dad." My mother's soothing voice washed over me. "Its okay, none of that matters now. All that matters is that you are safe and happy."

"Yeah, yeah I really am." I couldn't help but grin then. "I am playing music, Mom. I am writing again."

I heard her suck in a breath and the tears were back in her voice. "You're composing again? Sweetheart, you have no idea how happy that makes me. That alone tells me how much better you are doing." I heard someone speak in the background and my mom hesitated. "Edward? Your father wants to talk to you some, if that's okay?"

I paused, frozen stiff. I wasn't totally prepared for this. Honestly, if he had been the one who picked up I probably would have hung up and called later…maybe. I couldn't stay mad at my mom, but he was a different story. My father was my hero, and he fell down from that when he couldn't save my sister…irrational as that may be.

I realized that Mom was waiting for an answer from me and I could practically hear the hope radiating from her. I sighed, "Yeah, put him on."

There was a shuffling sound, then my father's voice hit me like a ton of bricks. "Son."

There was so much relief in his voice, not a hint of anger. He had always been the calm, reasonable one and that kept me from hanging up the phone.

"Hey," I managed to blurt out something finally. There was a long pause while we both tried to figure out what to say. I let him do the talking. "Edward, you are really okay?" He was trying to figure out whether I was sugar-coating it for Mom or not. I kept my breathing calm.

"Yeah, I am doing good. How about you?" Years of manners made me ask the question…I was running on autopilot.

"We are okay, son." I heard him inhale deeply and I tensed, waiting for him to get to the point, direct as always. "Edward, there are things you need to know, about…Tanya, and why we did what we did."

"Dad, not now," I interrupted him. "Not today…please." I couldn't talk to him about her just yet. I was ripped open and raw right now. I couldn't handle much else. I needed to get off the phone and recover for a bit before we headed down that road.

"I have to go Dad. I just wanted to call and talk to you and Mom for a bit."

"Will you call again? Soon?"

I nodded, promising myself as much as I was promising him. "I will, soon. I promise. Take care of Mom."

"I will. You take care too, son. And…Merry Christmas." My father's voice broke and I felt a new wave of emotion rip through me. I had only seen my father cry twice, once when Tanya left us and again at her funeral. I spoke before I couldn't anymore, "Merry Christmas, Dad. Bye." I closed my phone before he could answer and lay back on my bed. I pressed my hands over my eyes, trying to hold back my emotions. I felt exhausted, drained. But I also felt like something had loosened around my heart, like I was tensing a muscle for the past year and it suddenly loosened. Even breathing felt a little easier. I knew it wasn't something hokey like the spirit of the holidays or some shit that made me take this leap. All credit went to the small girl downstairs who held my healing heart.

***********************

After washing my face and making sure none of my extreme emotional meltdown lingered on my face, I headed downstairs. I have to say I was relieved to see that Seth and Bella were no longer on the hallway floor and I followed their voices to the living room. Bella was sitting on the couch next to Seth, turned slightly so that she was facing him. She was holding his hand tightly in hers and I was proud of myself for not going all macho-man and having a jealous temper tantrum in front of our guest.

Bella looked up at me when I walked into the room and I was glad to see that no fresh tears were evident on her face. Her eyes were swollen and slightly bloodshot and it made my chest hurt. I couldn't stand to see her cry, no matter what the reason. But she smiled at me and it was a smile that trumped all the others. Her whole face lit up and she stood as I approached. She let go of Seth's hand and ran over into my arms this time. I held her close to me as she squeezed me tightly, her cheek pressed against my chest. I rested my face against the top of her head and looked over at Seth on the couch. The look on his face was so full of raw emotion I almost had to look away. His eyes showed nothing but relief and gratitude and his smile let me know that he was pleased at Bella's show of affection.

Bella finally pulled back and looked up at me. I wiped at the few tears that had escaped her deep brown eyes. "Edward, how did you do this?"

I led her over to the couch, setting her between myself and Seth. "Jasper has some less-than-honest computer hacking skills, so between the two of us we managed to track down who Seth went to live with after he left Forks. His foster parents were happy to pass along the message that I was looking for him and he agreed to come down here the moment I said your name. I flew him down from Portland, but he rented a car from the airport so that I wouldn't have to ruin the surprise." Bella was looking back and forth between the two of us, and I felt myself smile at her obvious delight.

"I can't believe you actually did that."

I shrugged and squeezed her hand. "I really didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. I about had a friggen panic attack today, thinking you were really going to get upset." She did get upset, but at least it was happy tears….thank God.

Bella reached up and placed her small hand against my cheek. She didn't have to tell me she loved me, because I saw it through her eyes. "Thank you, so much Edward. This was the best Christmas present you could have given me." I reached up and took her hand in mine, turning it to kiss her palm, ignoring the smiling guy on the couch behind her. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

Bella leaned back and held my hand as well as Seth's. I was thrilled to see them settle into a comfortable place. I looked at Seth and he met my eyes over Bella's head. He mouthed 'thank you' and I knew he was thanking me for more than getting him down here. I nodded at him, mouthing my thanks to him as well.

Bella made a wonderful dinner that night and the evening was filled with laughter. Seth and I watched Bella move around the kitchen as they caught up on each other's lives. Seth had just graduated from college and was starting a job for the state as a social worker. I knew he was influenced by his past to take that particular career choice, and it got me thinking about my own future. I had thought more and more about switching my major back to pre-med, and hearing Seth talk excitedly about his field of work made me want to follow his example. We are all influenced by our pasts, but I needed to make sure my past didn't ruin my chances for the future I wanted.

**Lifehouse- "Breathing"**

The evening carried on late and Bella wasn't the only one yawning frequently. I told Seth he could use my room tonight and he gave me a hard look when I explained I would be sleeping in Bella's room. I winced…looks like I am going to have to muster up to another brother-figure in Bella's life. Seth was a lot more discreet than Emmett and didn't comment on our sleeping arrangements….yet.

Bella and I were settling into bed, fully clothed. That was okay…I think we were both too tired to do anything, even if Seth wasn't sleeping right across the hall. It had been a draining day for both of us. Bella yawned and snuggled into my chest. "I wish he didn't have to leave tomorrow."

I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back soothingly. "I know, love. I hoped he could stay too, but he has to get ready for his new job." I felt her nod against my chest. "I am so proud of him…he is exactly how I hoped he would be. Did you know he has a girlfriend?"

I smiled, "No I didn't know that. Are they serious?"

"He is planning on proposing soon. I can't believe it."

Good for him. He was a step or two ahead of me…but I was going to get there. If this small girl kept pulling at my heart as much as she has been, it was going to be sooner rather than later. That got me thinking about family.

"Bella…" I paused, then decided just to spit it out, "I called my parents today."

She raised her head up and looked at me in surprise. "You did? Are you okay?"

I knew she wouldn't ask for details, but there is nothing I wouldn't share with her. I gave her a summary of how the conversation went. "I will try to call them again…maybe before New Years."

Bella reached up and smoothed my hair from my forehead in a gentle motion. "I am so happy for you, Edward. I know how much you miss your family."

She knew all sorts of things about me without me having to say a word, and that made me love her even more. I gave her a soft kiss before tucking her head back onto my shoulder. "Sleep, Bella. I love you."

"I love you too."

I played with her hair until I felt her body relax into sleep. As tired as I was, I didn't fall asleep for a long while. I was content enough to listen to her breathe, feeling her heart beat against mine. She was my Christmas…and I was determined to be her happy ever after.

**Song on my profile, reviews would be spantacular!**

**Tell me what you thought of their Christmas presents to each other.**


	17. Chapter 17

**First of all, I owe you guys a HUGE apology!**

**I meant to do this the last chapter but I was so excited about posting I forgot! **

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS!**

**I am usually known for replying to all of them, but there was SO many that I had a choice of whether to reply to all of them or to get on the next chapter…and I figured ya'll wanted the chapter more. But know I read ALL of the reviews…the good, the bad and the ugly. **

**Also, it looks like I will be struggling for time to write, at least in the near future…but I will do what I can I promise you!**

**I am also very honored to have this story a part of a community…my first one!**

"**Unsung Heroes: A Collection of Overlooked and Underread Stories"**

**I totally appreciate that and every shout out that you guys give this story.**

**I am thinking I will not do Seth's visit through BPOV one: because I hate scene re-writes and two: I don't even think I could capture the emotions that someone would feel in that situation, so I don't want to butcher it.**

**On with it!**

**Disclaimer: Publish this so I can make money, because I don't own twilight and I am broke.**

**Chapter 17**

_**E**_

It wasn't unusual that I was up first, but to get out of bed without Bella when I didn't have to sneak out was a new one for me. It was still a little early, but I heard noises from the kitchen that let me know that Seth was up and about, and I knew we had a few things to talk about before Bella woke. I kissed my angel on top of her head and carefully extracted myself from the warmth of her arms and tiptoed with Jake own the stairs.

I let Jake out before stepping into the kitchen. Seth was sitting at the table, having found the cereal and bowls already. I nodded at him and he returned it while I poured myself a bowl. We ate in silence for a few minutes. I knew he had a few questions and I was afraid that it would turn into a fucking interrogation. I didn't let it ruffle my feathers. I knew he was just looking out for someone he considered his sister.

Besides, he was not nearly as scary as Emmett.

Seth finished his cereal and looked at me with a smile, but serious eyes.

"You already know what I am going to say, don't you?"

I swallowed and gave a half-shrug. "I have a pretty good idea." He smirked at me. "Well then, I won't beat around the bush. Are you sleeping with her?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You know I slept with her last night."

"You know what I mean."

I did, but I always became an asshole when I was being questioned. "No, we aren't….sleeping together." If I was a lesser man, I would be blushing. It wasn't my style.

"But you want to." It wasn't a question, but I answered him like it was.

I ran a hand through my hair. "If we get to that point then of course I do. But I am not going to rush her into anything. We do things her speed only."

Seth shook his head and his look softened. "Ten years ago I would have told you there was no way she would ever want that. I would have sworn that she would be closed off forever. The things she went through….she would cry when any guy tried to touch her." He took a shuddering breath in and released it. I clenched my jaw. It was painful enough for me to imagine, but Seth was there front and center to see her nightmares.

The young man looked at me and I had to meet his eyes. If he was going to show that much emotion to me, the least I could do was acknowledge it. "She's different now. I still see a little pain in her, but it goes away when she is around you. She told me that you brought her out of her shell. You will never know how grateful I am for the look in her eyes when you touch her. The last memory I have was her being dragged out of my hospital room and the Bella I saw yesterday is not the same girl."

I stayed silent during his speech, letting him get everything off his chest. When he was done I pushed my bowl aside and leaned a little towards him. I wanted to show him I was as serious as I could be.

"Seth, you need to know that Bella is the most important thing in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her and there is no way I would knowingly hurt her. I will always look out for her, but there is something that I was unable to do. I couldn't protect her when she needed it the most, but you did." I gestured towards the scar along his hairline. "I am guessing you got that from the night you saved her?" He nodded and I continued. "You are the one bright part of her life during that hellish time. She has always thought of you as her hero, and it is I who will be forever grateful to you."

Seth and looked hard at each other. We were men, we didn't want to cry, so we settled for a firm handshake that turned into a man-hug.

We were starting to pull away when we heard a throat clearing. I turned and grinned at Bella standing in the entryway, her hair gloriously rumpled and her smile blinding. She shook her head at us. "Nothing like seeing your two favorite men all over each other first thing in the morning." Seth and I laughed, a relieved sound after all the emotional shit we just dealt with a moment ago.

Bella insisted that I stay with her and Seth as they continued talking in the living room. Seth's flight was later this afternoon and while I wished for Bella's sake that he could stay longer, I am selfish enough to admit that I wanted her alone for the very little time we had left. Bella was shy about telling him about her dancing, but I was like a proud parent, praising her talent. He asked if I could record a routine for him sometime so he could see it for himself. He found it hard to believe that someone as notoriously clumsy as Bella could be on a college dance team. Her blush lit up my world.

Eventually, it was time for Seth to drive to the airport. I offered to follow him there so Bella could see him off, but he insisted that she stay. "It won't be any easier to say goodbye there than here." Bella looked up at him with a watery smile and Seth tried his best to wipe those tears away. "Its okay, Bells. I will come back before you know it and you know you can come up and see me whenever you want. I just got you back, there is no way I am disappearing again." He pulled her into his arms and she squeezed him back. I stepped back away from the doorway, trying to give them a little privacy. Bella pulled back from his embrace and craned her neck to look at him again.

"You are going to do great. You will be able to help so many people like us. I am so proud of you." Seth's smile was wide, but I couldn't help but notice the shine in them. He pressed his lips to Bella's forehead and pulled himself away. He turned to me with his hand outstretched. I clasped it and he yanked me into a hug. I laughed lightly and returned it. Seth whispered so Bella couldn't hear him. "Take care of her."

"I will…I promise," I whispered back.

Seth gave us one more smile before stepping outside into the overcast day. I stepped up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist as we watched him drive away. I felt her let out a big sigh and then she turned in my arms. Her tears were drying and she looked peacefully up at me. There was something different about her, something in the way she held herself. She seemed like she was lighter, like she had shrugged off a heavy coat for the first time. She reached up on her tiptoes to kiss me. My arms tightened reflexively around her, holding her closely. She kept her face close to mine as she spoke. "Thank you, Edward. I don't think I have ever been this happy."

I smiled into her lips. "I'm glad, love." I gave her an eyebrow waggle and a lecherous grin. "Exactly how happy are you?" She gave me a throaty laugh and held my hand as she led me up the stairs.

_**B**_

Edward and I ran up the stairs like a couple of kids, but when we got undressed and under the covers, we slowed down quite a bit. Edward leaned up on his elbow and just looked down at me. He smiled softly and ran his fingers through my hair over and over and I felt my eyes go half-mast in relaxation. Our bodies were pressed together tightly and I could feel the evidence of his arousal thick against my hip. I had expected to fall in to his arms, hot and heavy, but he seemed intent on just gazing down at me for a while. I stroked the stubble along his jaw and felt shivers run down my spine at the texture. I learned that kissing him before he shaved could irritate my skin, but I couldn't deny that I really enjoyed the feeling. Or maybe I liked it better right after he shaved, smooth and soft. Hell, I couldn't choose.

When he didn't say anything, I decided to be the one to break the spell.

"What are you thinking about?"

He leaned down to kiss me on my forehead before answering. "I am thinking about you." I raised my eyebrows up at him in question. He elaborated, "I don't know if you realize how amazing you are." He stopped me from looking away with his gentle fingertips. "You are so strong and so incredibly brave. I am glad Seth's visit was nice for you and not just a painful reminder of your past. Other people would be bitter, angry or scared to even try to step out of their room, but not you."

I swallowed thickly, trying not to let any more tears fall. I had cried enough to last me a while, although the emotional release had felt good. Edward's face got thoughtful and his brows furrowed. He wasn't looking directly at me, and I could tell he was thinking of something else. I traced my finger along his lips to capture his attention. "What's wrong?"

He sighed and rolled onto his back, one arm still around me and one bent under his head. When he talked, he spoke to the ceiling. "_I_ am angry…_I_ am bitter." His words were tinged with darkness, a lot like the way he used to talk when he first moved here. I scooted closer to him and placed my head on his shoulder. He didn't look at me, but his arm moved to support me better. I kissed the pale skin of his shoulder while looking at his profile.

"You are not so bitter anymore. You seem happier to me. You laugh more and you smile almost all the time. You don't get angry with me." He turned his head to face me with a soft look. "Not you…never you."

I traced idle patterns on his bare chest. "Did you know that since the night we first kissed I haven't had a single nightmare?" He blinked but didn't answer. I moved my wandering hand up to neck, feeling his pulse against my palm. "I wasn't always this way, Edward. I have been stuck inside myself for so long. Alice, Rose and I are close, but I know it hurts them to seem me upset, so I pushed everything down so it won't show. I protected myself from feeling, but that meant I didn't feel anything. I may not have felt very angry or bitter, but I also didn't feel very happy."

I had to stretch to reach up to his lips, and the movement made him groaned against my lips. My smile was uncontainable. "Seth and I talked a lot about how we have changed. He told me he changed when he moved in with his foster parents and their other children. I told him I changed when I met you. If I am half the person that you think I am, it's because of you."

Edward gave me a small smile and moved his lips to my jaw. I closed my eyes and leaned back; giving him all the room he needed to move down my neck. He took the hint, speaking between kisses. "It works both ways, Bella." He nipped at my skin lightly and I gasped and jerked against him. He steadied me with his hands on my hips. "I still have the anger inside me, but its not who I am anymore." He had reached my collar bones and he took his time running his lips feather light along the bones. Who knew that area could be so pleasurable?

"If I seem happier it's because I _am_ happier." He tugged the sheet down slightly to expose my breasts and I shivered at the coolness of the room hitting my bare flesh, my nipples tightening expectantly. "I haven't been this happy in a long time." He placed one large kiss over my heart and then dragged his tongue underneath one breast. I curled my fingers in his hair, fighting to overcome my modesty of having him see my body in full light. "I am not completely healed yet, but I am getting there." He hovered over my nipple and I could feel his warm breath teasing me.

"Edward….please…"

I looked down to catch him smirking at me. "You are the reason Bella, my reason for everything." He kept his eyes on me and finally…finally covered me with his mouth. I arched my back, trying to draw him closer to me. His hands snuck underneath my back, holding me up to his mouth, drinking me in like a man dying of thirst. The ache between my legs had already started before he switched breasts. He didn't tease this time; he went right for my waiting bud. He rocked his lower body against me and I responded in kind, already anticipating what was to come.

He released me, both with his mouth and his arms. I almost hissed as he touched my legs, running his fingertips along my trembling skin….and then I almost sobbed when he moved past the place I needed him the most and moved to rest his hands on my hips. I wasn't sure if he was deliberately teasing me or if he was going slow to make sure I was okay with everything, but I decided to show him that I was more than okay….or to give him some motivation to quit teasing. I blindly moved my hand from out of his hair down his chest. I didn't pause to admire his tight flesh or the bunching muscles…I didn't stop until my hand brushed against the tip of him.

Edward's eyes closed and he moaned as I bravely explored him. He was hard and hot and just a little wet. I played with that wetness, fascinated by it. I used my thumb to spread it around his round head, rewetting my fingers with almost every pass. He started moving his hips again, thrusting lightly into my fingers. I wrapped around him and his head dropped to rest on my breasts. His breathing was labored and I was thrilled to evoke such a response in him. I loved to know that he could be affected as much as I could.

When I started moving my hand up and down in rhythm with his thrusts, he moved away from me. He raised his head up to look at me with a sexy half-grin. When he spoke, his voice was thick and husky. "I am about to lose what little self-control I have left." My lips parted. I wanted to tell him to forget his self-control. I wanted to give myself to him, but I couldn't say anything. I felt him kiss down the middle of my body and I knew where he was going. The familiar tightness in my chest reappeared and I tried to fight it down. I must have tensed up because Edward's hands were suddenly kneading me gently. "Bella, open your eyes…please, love." I hadn't realized I had closed them. He was looking up at me with a serious face. "We can stop anytime." His hands were comforting, but they were also distracting. _What was I supposed to nervous about again?_

"Don't stop," I begged him a breathy whisper. He stared up at me for another few heartbeats before bringing his lips back to my stomach. It was very erotic to see him lavish his attention with his lips while keeping his eyes locked on mine. I couldn't look away now even I wanted to.

Edward's stubble scraped sensuously along me, lower to the indents of my hips. He nibbled lightly and a giggle escaped me as I squirmed. His smiled into the crook where my leg met my hip. My heart was absolutely pounding; I was sure that he could hear it, that the whole neighborhood could hear it. He kissed along my thigh, urging my legs open with the gentlest of touches. I felt totally exposed, but unafraid as he breathed over my aching flesh. "Edward…" I wasn't sure if I was telling him to stop or to hurry up, but he reached out with his tongue and all thoughts left my already addled mind.

He licked at me delicately, giving me time to adjust to the feeling. Every flick of his tongue shot sparks down my spine and tightened my stomach. I desperately wanted to grab a hold of him, but I settled for clenching my fingers in the sheets. I watched him through a fog. His deep green eyes watched me and I saw them tighten in a smile. His head bowed down lower so all I could see was his bronze mop of hair nestled between the whiteness of my thighs. _Absolutely beautiful._

"No love, you are what is beautiful." His words were muffled and his lips were pressed against my heat when he talked. Vibrations ran up and down the length of me. I hadn't even realized I had spoken those words out loud.

Strong fingers spread me open wider and I had just a second to wonder what was next. Edward's warm tongue circled my entrance and then dove directly into it. My thighs tried to tighten around him. I was no longer in control of my actions; the sounds coming from me seemed foreign. I didn't recognize that whimpering voice, surely that could not be me that is calling Edward's name over and over?

Edward took his time exploring. He paid special attention to the area around my throbbing bud, but not directly touching it. When he ran his tongue up and down along the sides of that small nub, I became wetter and very close to losing my own control. Edward rubbed a finger on the outside of me before slipping it deep inside. I tried to push my hips down to encourage him to do more, tell him that I liked that…. a lot. I saw green again as he looked back up to me. "You are so wet Bella." I felt my face and chest heat up with those words. He stopped his movements inside of me, holding his hand still against my mound. "Don't be embarrassed about it. It is the sexiest thing to know I did this to you. It shows that you want me just as much as I want you."

I nodded woodenly, "I do….oh God I do."

Edward looked fierce at my obvious enthusiasm. "Soon," he growled, and then his fingers started back in earnest. I was not prepared for the extra sensation of him pulling my clit between his lips while his finger inside me was joined by another. I cried out…loudly. "Edward…Edward I'm close…." He sucked on my swelling nub, pumping his fingers in and out, once…twice more…and then I was gone.

I remember screaming his name at some point while my hands reached for his arms. The pleasure felt like it was breaking through every surface of my body. Appendages went numb, my thighs were quaking uncontrollably and then all sight and sound faded to a dark grey. The grey was nice. It was warm and soft and made me tingle in all the right places. I could float in that grey for a long time.

Suddenly, Edward was above me, patting my face lightly. I squinted as he came into focus. His eyes were wide with worry and I felt a little confused. Did something happen? Did something go wrong?

He was speaking to me, but his voice sounded muffled, like he was trying to speak to me through a thick wall. I settled for blinking up at him because anything else would have required energy that I did not have at that point. Edward's worried look didn't fade when I didn't respond beyond opening my eyes. He shifted to prop me up, his arms supporting me in the reclined position. He kept one had free to stroke my face and keep me focused. Finally, the sound wall started to crumble and I was able to hear most of what he was saying. "…..say something sweetheart. Bella, can you hear me? Blink twice if you can hear me." His voice was rough and full of concern. I did as he asked and blinked twice. He let out a small breath, reaching to hold my limp hand. I squeezed his fingers and he kissed my knuckles. "Baby, are you okay?"

It took me a few tries but I finally swallowed and licked my lips. "I am _beyond_ great. Thank you."

"Thank you?" Edward moaned and leaned his forehead against mine. I removed my hand from his grasp so I could play with his hair. He was touching me all over with his hands, running up and down my naked body. This didn't seem sensual as much as comforting. I felt a little more myself enough to ask, "What's wrong?"

Edward pulled back a little to look in my eyes, which I am sure were still slightly unfocused, hell…maybe dilated. "Bella, you scared the shit out of me. You pretty much passed out and I couldn't wake you up for a full minute."

I looked at him disbelieving. "No, I only just closed my eyes and then you were right there a second later."

Edward let out a relieved laugh, shaking his head. "I thought I might have killed you and I really didn't want to explain to Emmett how you died."

I managed to smack his arm lightly and of course blush bright red. I couldn't believe that I passed out after having an orgasm…well, it wasn't just _any_ orgasm. "Edward that was…..it was so incredible. I felt like I had an out-of-body experience or something. Everything felt so good, so very good."

He smoothed my probably completely mussed hair, smiling smugly. I rolled my eyes and rolled on my side to press myself against him. My whole body felt loose, boneless, but when his thick, long heat throbbed against my stomach I was suddenly reenergized. I didn't bother touching his chest like last time; I slid my hand under the sheets and cupped him gently. He breathed heavy against my face. "Bella, you don't have to…"

"I want to." I met his gaze as bravely as possible. "I….I think I have a pretty good idea…what to do." I stammered, and it just added to the color already burning on my face and neck. "But can you let me know what you like, or if I am doing it wrong?"

Edward's throat bobbed as he swallowed a few times. He managed to nod as I ran my fingers over him with increasing pressure. I pulled the sheet off both of us. Memories of locker-room talk floated around in my head. I have heard girls talk about going down on a guy several times. I sincerely hoped they weren't exaggerating anything. My hands felt a little shaky, so I tried to move them in a way to hide my nervousness. Edward rolled over onto his back and watched me from his propped up position on the pillows. His hands were kept carefully at his sides, fisted in the sheets and allowing me to move at my own pace.

I kissed his chest, because I wanted to for a long time now. Edward's chest fascinated me. I loved to watch him move and see those muscles clench underneath his smooth skin. He had a quarterback's body; all arms, shoulder and chest. I made a trail down the center of his body. The only hair he had on his torso started at his belly button. It was darker than his bronze locks on his head, but as I studied that trail my breath made his hands bunch into tighter fists. I glanced back up at him and smiled to see his eyes had finally slid closed. I felt braver now and I finally looked down to the part of him that caused my heart to trip erratically.

His hardness laid nestled in a small thatch of thick, dark hair. I tried not to stare too long, but I couldn't quite tear my gaze away. I had seen pictures, of course, but the only time a man has been completely naked in front of me was during the darkest time in my life. I had refused to look at them then, but even now I felt the familiar curl of panic. I swallowed and battled to keep calm and took another long look. The head was an angry color of red and was already glistening with sheen of wetness. I looked at my fingers around the length and I was suddenly clearheaded. What was so scary about this? His flesh was soft, softer than my own skin. He was hard, but the throbbing underneath my fingertips made the flesh come to life. The more I touched it, the harder and wetter it got. I was pleasantly surprised to feel my own wetness increase in response. This is the response I should be having to a naked man…the man I love.

"Bella?" Edward's whisper broke through my revelation. I didn't look back up at him. I felt one of his hands come up to rest on my bare back as I placed my first kiss on the most intimate part of him. His hips rose up slightly and his hand twitched on my back. "God…" I had a smug smile of my own listening to the strain in his voice. I kissed the red, warm head again…letting my tongue slip out to take a small taste. It was not all unlike the taste of his mouth after he went down on me, not the least bit repulsive. You hear some girls complain about the taste and whether to spit or swallow. I wasn't sure about that last part, but I sure didn't mind the taste. In the words of Alice, I channeled my inner sex-goddess and parted my lips to let his head slide in. His legs moved, writhed against the sheets. His hand dove into my hair, not pushing me but rubbing my scalp reassuringly. I pulled more of his length in. I wondered if it was normal to like this as much as I do the first time.

When I had taken as much in as felt comfortable, I started to pull back off. I got to the end of him and started slowly back down. Edward moaned again and again, "Yes…yes Bella..."

It felt natural as I kept going, increasing speed and trying different things with my tongue. I figured out really quick what made him moan louder, but he didn't point out anything that he didn't like. I was encouraged by the mindless noises he was making, and I was almost startled to hear him utter urgently, "Bella…move."

I didn't move, but I did move my eyes up to his face. I don't think it helped him any. His eyes were a glowing green and his mouth opened in a gasp when he locked gazes with me. "Fuck…Bella move, please…now…."

I listened and release him from my mouth and a second later he was groaning loudly, his body arching off the bed. His hardness pulsed and released onto his stomach. I felt my body jolt in response, my lust skyrocketing. That was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

Edward's head was thrown back and he was breathing like he just ran off the field. I crawled up his body, watching his face as he came back to me. He didn't open his eyes right away; his arms snaked around me first, tucking me into his side. I felt his heart pounding from his chest into mine. His lips pressed down to the top of my head.

"Are you sure you haven't done that before?" I could hear the smile in his voice and I felt one form on my own lips. I angled my head up so I could see his sleepy face. "Are you just saying that to boost my ego?"

Edward didn't stop smiling as he kissed my lips. "Hell no." Our lips molded together, and it was full of heat and promises of what was to come. Edward would have to make the first move when we finally made love, but I knew I was ready. My fear was not gone, but it felt normal, like the fear every girl has thinking about being with someone you love for the first time. I liked this fear.

I snuggled into the embrace of someone who has made me feel whole for the first time in a long time. I had revisited my past, and clung tightly to my future.

**God, I hope this chapter doesn't suck too bad, I have been working on it for days at any spare moment I have. **

**Pimping out my new favorite story: Vampire in the Basement. Its in my favorites and I am DYING for an update….its THAT good.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I guess the last chapter wasn't very popular. I only got like 10 reviews. Oh well. Hopefully this one will be better. **

**Thanks to those of you that did review! I am trying to respond to all of them but if I didn't get to you then TTTTHHHHHHAAAANNNKKK YOU!**

**Get your songs ready for this chapter…and see the lyrics at the bottom. Trust me….**

"**Beautiful" Smashing Pumpkins**

"**This is for Keeps" The Spill Canvas**

**Disclaimer: All bow down to Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 18**

_**E**_

My time was up. It was the day of New Year's Eve and I had procrastinated long enough. I had plans for tonight with Bella and I wanted all my emotional shit to be over with before then. My parents were expecting my phone call and I had promised myself and Bella that I would call them before tomorrow. She had not pressured me at all, hadn't even mentioned them unless I did. I knew she was supporting me without hovering, and I really appreciated that.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring down at my cell phone in my hand. Bella had peeked in a few minutes ago. She must have seen something in my expression, because she gave some excuse about laying out stuff for lunch and stumbled down the stairs into the kitchen. Now was a good a time as any, and I knew that putting it off a few more hours wouldn't make it any easier, but dammit I was scared out of my mind. I knew that my father would want to talk about Tanya and what happened last year, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that, so I settled for _scared shitless_.

My fingers felt numb as I dialed the familiar numbers. I was still pumping myself up for the conversation ahead when the line was suddenly picked up. "Edward?" My father was the one who answered this time. I guess they had been waiting for my call as much as I have been dreading it.

"Yeah, it's me." I think my voice might have sounded just a tad sullen, but oh damn well. There was another one of those awkward pauses as we both tried to find a place to start. I figured this call was more about me listening than talking, so I let him start.

"Edward…son…I am just going to dive right in. There are things you need to know, that you should have been told right after the funeral."

And there you have it…the band-aid is going to be ripped off.

"Alright, let's hear it."

I heard the sound of the door closing across the other line. I had a feeling that he was in his study and didn't want my mother to overhear him.

"The day I found out your sister had cancer, I felt like I had already lost her. Your mother knew that she was seriously ill, but she always had hope that a miracle would happen. I knew that there was next to no hope for her and I started grieving on my own. By the time she finally passed, I had moved on from grieving for Tanya, to grieving for you."

I wanted to yell and scream into that phone so fucking badly. He _knew_ how sick she was, but he let me go on thinking I had all the time in the world with her. My anger choked me, kept me from saying anything and allowing my father to continue.

"You think we didn't know how you felt, but we did. Your mother and I wanted to protect you of course, but we quickly realized that you needed to know how serious the situation was. We were going to tell you earlier that semester, we planned on asking you to move back home for a while, but Tanya made us promise not to say anything to you."

I was floored….absolutely stunned. I didn't see that coming.

"What the hell do you mean?"

My father sighed. "Tanya told us she wanted you to continue with your medical studies and with football. She didn't want you stopping the life you had worked so hard on."

I pressed my hand against my forehead. All this time of building up my anger and it had been unjustified. I felt frustrated, guilty.

"You still should have told me," I managed to grind out.

"If I had to do things over again, I am not sure if I would tell you or not. I agree that you should have known much sooner, but what were we supposed to do Edward? Your sister…your _dying_ sister made us promise not to tell you how sick she was."

I felt my eyes burning again in indignation. I had prepared myself to make them work for my forgiveness. I had played myself as the victim for so long, and now I had no where for that anger to go. I knew I had some things to make up for, but now there was no excuse for me to block the path between us anymore.

"There are things I have done Dad….things that I am not proud of."

"Its okay, son. We all have things that we regret doing…."

"No, I am not just talking about the trouble I got in, but you need to know that all the rumors aren't true. I am talking about the way I treated you and Mom. I was so deep in my own hell that I didn't think about what you guys were dealing with. I have done a lot of thinking over the past few months and some people in my life have shown me how selfish I have been."

I paused, but he didn't interrupt. "You guys lost a daughter, and I was so angry for not knowing how sick she was, but I was also angry because I had depended on you to save her."

I heard some sort of strangled sound on the other end of the line and I felt a pang of guilt hit me sharp and deep.

"I had learned enough in school to know that there was nothing anyone could have done for Tanya, but you were my hero, Dad. You made everything better, and it was unfair of me to put that on you." I let a small sob escape so I could finally say what I should have said so long ago. "I'm so sorry, Dad."

It was not surprising to hear my mother's voice over the line. "Oh, Edward. We are so sorry too. We should have handled things differently."

"Esme, how long have you been on the other line?" My father's admonishment was half-hearted. I could practically hear the smile in his sigh. "You might as well come up and I will put the phone on speaker." A click or two later and both my parents were able to hear me.

"I was such an ass to you guys. I don't blame you for cutting me off and kicking me out."

"Edward, there are a lot things I did that I regret, but kicking you out is at the top of the list. We should have supported you more, been there for you."

My mother cut in. "We didn't cut you off, sweetie."

I frowned. "What are you talking about? I am living off my scholarship right now, and that's a hell of a lot more than I deserve."

"Language, young man." My frown turned into a grin. God, it was good to hear her scold me again. "Did you ever look into where that scholarship came from?"

"I assumed the athletic department." My brown furrowed in confusion.

"Part of it did, but not enough to support you the whole semester. Your father and I made some anonymous contributions towards your scholarship."

I shook my head. "So you knew I had been accepted to Seattle this entire time?"

I heard my father move closer to the phone. "We have been keeping an eye on you the best we could, but we didn't want to interfere. We weren't sure how you would react if you knew we were behind the scholarship."

"Edward," Mom cut in, "you need to know that you got the position on Seattle's football team all on your own. We had no influence on them contacting you."

Well, good to know I actually had _some_ clout.

"I wasn't going to take the offer, but the scholarship seemed too good to be true,' I laughed a little, "I guess it was."

"Are you mad about that?" My mother's voice was hesitant, and I wish I was there so I could put an arm around her.

"No Mom, I'm not mad."

"You mother says you are composing music again?"

My eyes flashed over to the guitar that Bella had given me for Christmas and my mind drifted over the music I was writing currently. I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I am playing a little and writing a few songs."

I heard my father give some sort of warning to my mother, but she shushed him. "These changes in you, Edward, are something that I have been praying for this past year. You sound happy, and I was wondering who I have to thank for influencing you so much."

I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair. Here we go, back to "Mom" mode already. "Well, I have a lot of great friends here. Jasper has been great, of course. Emmett, the teammate I moved in with, he laid down the law and made sure I stayed in line. He is a good buddy."

I hesitated next, not sure how cool my parents would be with me living in a house of with mostly females. _Fuck it._

"His girlfriend is on the dance team along with the two other girls living here. They have all accepted me in their own way."

"Girls?" Here we go. I could practically see the incredulous look on her face. "You live with three girls?"

"Uh, yeah. Like I said, one is Emmett's girlfriend, and another is actually dating Jasper." I waited for it.

"What about the other girl?"

I glanced up at a movement in the doorway and saw the girl in question. She was smiling softly at me and I returned it. She had a plate in her hand with a sandwich and some pasta salad. When I waved her in she tiptoed over to my side and set the plate on my lap. When she started to turn and walk away I reached out and snatched her hand, pulling her down to sit next to me.

"Bella. Her name is Bella." I smiled at her while I talked and my heart felt like it was going to friggen burst when she smiled back. My mom made a knowing hum.

"Is this the young lady that has had so much influence over my son?" Her voice was inquisitive but teasing. She already knew the answer.

I squeezed Bella's hand and let go to put my arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, she is the reason for everything." I looked honestly into those big brown eyes that had me bewitched. "I love her."

I heard the phone drop, clattering on a wooden floor. "Mom?" I heard my father's voice next. "Edward, your mother is very happy to hear this news…speechless in fact." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes. I could just imagine shock on her face. I had never admitted to loving anyone before, simply because I had never loved a girl until I met Bella.

"We would very much like to meet this young lady of yours. How do you feel about a visit, son?"

I tensed and Bella snuggled in closer to me. I leaned in and smelled the intoxicating scent of her hair. I calmed down quite a bit. "Dad, I don't….I would like that, eventually. But maybe…"

"It's too soon." I think he meant it as a question, but I didn't know how to answer without sounding like a total dick. "Its okay Edward, we will take this one step at a time. How about a phone call every now and then?" I readily agreed and gave him the number to my cell. I heard Mom's voice ask something in the background. "Edward, your mother wants to know if she can talk to Bella, but I sure you have other plans for this holiday?"

I laughed, "Yeah, thanks for that, Dad. Tell her I will talk to Bella about that."

I said my goodbyes to both of them and shut the phone. Bella lifted her head off my shoulder to look up at me. She looked at me searchingly and I gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm okay. It went pretty well."

Bella kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'm glad, really. You sound happy."

"We resolved some issues, and I did a bit of groveling for my behavior towards them. I am not saying I am ready for family game night or anything, but it's a start." I started to grin. "Mom wants to talk to you."

Bella's face burned bright and her eyes widened. When she sputtered trying to say something, I laughed and kissed her. "Don't worry, I won't throw you to the wolves….yet."

*****************************

"_**Beautiful"- Smashing Pumpkins.**_

My steps were light as I moved down the hallway towards Bella's room. I grinned, thinking about what went on the last time I was in her room with her. She was opening up to me more and more every time we touched, and it was fucking fantastic.

I had a fairly extensive record as far as sexual experience; mostly during the time of my life I was doing anything to take away the pain. I had girls who knew tricks I couldn't begin to describe and I had girls who were literally professionals. But having Bella's mouth on me was above and beyond any experience in my life. It wasn't so much her technique or skill, but believe me there was nothing wrong with _that_ department, it was more….emotional than that. She put herself out there for me, put herself in a highly stressful situation just to please me. It made me feel like the luckiest damn guy alive. I wanted her…very badly, but I needed to know she was ready for the next step. She had to tell me before I went any farther than we have. If that point wasn't anytime in the near future, then that was fine by me. I was enjoying myself…immensely.

I checked to make sure my shirt was straight. I had chosen a black button-down shirt with dark jeans, because my girlfriend told me she likes this outfit on me. I thought about trying to smooth my hair down again, but I knew that was a losing battle. Finally, I took a deep breath and wrapped my knuckles gently on her door.

Jake gave his customary soft "woof" and the door opened. The vision before me left my heart flipping wildly in my chest and my stomach drop somewhere around my feet. Bella's hair was straight, almost impossibly so. I could see the shine of her long longs reflecting the lamp light in her room. The ends of her hair curled against her body, bouncing around her upper arms and chest. The hair covered some of her bare shoulders, but enough of her top was revealed to my hungry eyes.

She was wearing a black dress. No… it was a top and skirt. The top was fairly modestly cut and but her shoulders were almost bare. Her skirt fell past her knees on one side and came halfway up her thigh on the other side. The material had a ruffled pattern along the edges and it swirled gently around her as she shifted nervously from foot to foot. Oh…and let's not forget those feet were incased in the sexiest pair of shoes…

I finally managed to drag my gaze back up to her face. She wore the barest hint of makeup, something with her eyes that made them seem smokier, darker.

"You look…." I searched my quickly failing vocabulary for words that accurately portrayed how good she looked in that moment. There were none.

"You are beautiful…everything about you is beautiful."

My compliments have been coming more frequently, so she blushed but didn't break away from my eyes. Her smile made the lights dim in comparison, and I returned one of my own as I held out my arm. She interlocked her arm with mine and we walked down the hallway together. She leaned in towards me, "You know, you look very handsome yourself, Mr. Cullen." I rewarded her with a kiss on her forehead and we entered the kitchen.

I had set the table with a single candle in the center, the food already dished out ready to eat. Bella laughed happily. "Lasagna? This seems a little familiar."

I shrugged. "Hey, it's the one thing I can make pretty well. I wanted to recreate one of the most important nights to me. I thought maybe we should keep it indoors though." She glanced out at the frost covered window and readily agreed with me. I pulled out her chair and made sure she was comfortable before sitting next to her. I didn't care if it was proper etiquette or some shit to sit across from her. I wasn't having that…I was sticking as close to her as possible. We took a few bites before saying anything.

"I had to call Alice to instruct me on the hair and makeup. She was wondering what our 'date' was all about. There will be an inquisition when they get back tomorrow." Bella was smirking at me while she talked.

"Do you think that we should let the cat out of the bag?" I took a sip of my drink, trying to seem casual about the whole idea, even though the thought of dealing with an angry Emmett made my whole body tense.

Bella chewed on her bottom lip, thinking in that sexy way of hers. "I guess we should. I don't know how much longer we can keep us a secret."

I dropped my fork to grasp her free hand. "I can't wait to take you out on the town, to hold you in my arms while we watch movies with everyone on Saturday nights, to be able to have you wake up in my arms every morning." I brought her hand up to my lips, and I was delighted to feel the tremor run down her arm.

We finished up dinner and stacked our dishes in the sink. I turned away from the counter to pull her into my arms. "So, is there anything special you like to do on New Year's Eve?" I rocked us back and forth, closing my eyes and hoping my body wasn't giving away the evidence of my desire. I didn't want to carry the evening back to the bedroom…not just yet anyways.

Bella shrugged in my embrace. "Honestly, I am usually asleep by nine. I don't think I have ever actually stayed up until midnight." I pulled back from her and grinned. "In that case, you must experience Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." I held her hand and moved us into the living room and switched on the large flat screen.

It may not have been the most romantic of my ideas, but Bella smiled and laughed with me for hours. We watched live music performances and she gasped at the video of the crowds gathered in Time Square. "I can't believe how many people are out there in the cold, just to see some ball drop." I pulled her closer and she snuggled into my side.

"Its tradition. People have been gathering in Time Square for years. There is this whole…atmosphere. It's really indescribable."

She looked up at me with a half-smile, "I am guessing you have been there before?"

I smiled, feeling a little sheepish. "Yeah, me and Jazz told our parents we were staying at each other's house and snuck up to New York for the weekend when we were seventeen. We got busted when the credit card bills came the next week." I glowed under her laughter and we turned back to the show.

I thought Bella would get tired staying up so late, but she seemed very interested in watching the building excitement on the television. When it was just a couple minutes before midnight, I stood and reached my hand out for Bella. She pouted up at me. "We are going to miss the ball dropping." I laughed…she was hooked.

"We aren't going far. In fact, we aren't leaving this room." I pulled her up from the couch and led her over to the windows on the French doors. I let her stand in front of me and I wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder. I tilted my head and whispered in her ear, "You aren't the only one who talked to Alice today. Look…"

I pointed at the sky over the tree line. While the night wasn't perfectly clear, it was clear enough to see the color splashing across the sky. Bella gasped and I smiled into her skin, more than content to focus on her rather than on the fireworks. "Alice told me that we would be able to see the fireworks from the backyard windows."

We stood there for a few minutes, Bella leaning her head back and watching the sky and me rubbing my lips and nose against her soft skin. Her hands tightened on my arms every now and then when I would hit a particularly sensitive spot. I mentally recorded those spots for future exploration. I heard the countdown begin in the background and I shifted so Bella could see the ball drop. I rubbed my face against the side of her head and felt her smile. "Let's go there someday. Let's go to Time Square to see the ball drop." I kissed her temple. "Anything you want. We can fly out there next year…"

"No," she interrupted. "Let's take a train or something. I am not big on flying."

She turned around in my arms with only seconds until midnight. I smirked down at her. "You are going to miss the ball dropping." She wrapped her small bare arms around my neck. "I don't care." Three, two, one…

I felt shaky as I met her halfway for the first kiss of our new year. Cheers came from the television and fireworks boomed in the distance, but all I knew was the girl in my arms. I cradled the back of her head to deepen the kiss, my blood on fire. Her lips were so soft, so warm. Her tongue darted boldly out to meet mine and I crushed her body against me. I didn't care if my body showed how much I wanted her…I wanted her to know what she did to me.

Bella whimpered against my lips and I tore my mouth away from hers so we could breathe. Her gasps were coming as harshly as mine and her eyes were open windows to the emotions held inside her. I nearly came to my knees at the love I saw there.

I bent down to scoop her up in my arms, not bothering to turn off the television as I headed for the stairs. I somehow managed to make it to her room without breaking my eyes away from her. Her hands were playing with the hair at the back of my head and she absently told Jake to take a hike. I closed the door behind the mutt and walked over to stand by her bed.

_**The Spill Canvas- "This is for Keeps"**_

Words failed me, so I just looked over her beautiful face as I gently laid her on the bed. I didn't even blink as I lay down next to her, not quite touching her yet. Something was happening; it felt different than all the other nights I had laid in this same bed with her. There was a tension, electricity that hadn't been there before. I reached out my hand and trailed my fingers lightly over the skin on her arm, fascinated by the tingling that resulted from it. I could tell I wasn't the only one who felt it. Bella shifted under my touch, her breathing becoming more erratic. I moved my hand to cup her face. "Are you alright?" My whisper was barely audible to my own ears, but it could be the pounding of my heart that had taken over my hearing abilities.

Bella gave me a serene smile and put her hand over mine, holding it to her cheek. "I'm perfect, this night is perfect." She gave me a deep look and my breath caught.

"Bella, do you mean…" I had to be sure, I had to know my own hormones weren't doing all the thinking tonight. She nodded under my hand and whispered, "Yes Edward, I love you and I want to make love with you…tonight." She leaned up to kiss my stunned mouth and I happily responded. My body felt like it was on fire from the inside, like there was a glowing torch in the middle of my chest and it was bursting out through my skin. I kissed her like it was the first time. It felt like we were exploring each other all over again, our hands touching each other searchingly. I felt her hands tug at my shirt, trying to get my buttons undone but my own hands were in the way, reaching around for the zipper on the back of her skirt. I sat up long enough to pull my shirt off and she did the same, leaving me with the air knocked out of my lungs at her matching black lingerie.

I didn't giver her time to do anything about the skirt. I gently laid her back and began worshipping the skin around the black material. Her back arched under my touch, bringing her pale flesh closer to my eager lips. I skimmed across the tops of her breasts, whispering touches against her skin. She shuddered and I kissed my way up to the straps, sliding them down slowly. I lifted her up and unclasped her bra, peeling the material slowly away. I wanted to thrill of anticipation, but the sight of her chest finally bare to me was almost catastrophic. I let out some sort of sound, a moan maybe. Her nipples were already hard, whether from desire or from the chill in the room it didn't matter to me. I nuzzled the hard tips with my nose until her fingers finally clenched into my hair. I felt her tugging me closer, writhing underneath me.

When I finally opened my mouth and closed my lips over her nipple, she moved her hands to my back, digging her nails in and making such sweet pain. I nibbled on her pebbled flesh, using my teeth, lips and tongue to the fullest extent. Everything I did to one breast, I made sure to duplicate on the other. Her hands flexed on my skin and she tried to pull me closer to her. I shifted until I was no longer beside her, but settled between her legs. Her skirt rode up and she wrapped her legs around my hips. I lowered my body down to meet hers and we both moaned loudly at the contact. I threw my head back and clenched my teeth from screaming as I felt the heat of her through layers of silk and denim. She was so hot…so soft. I couldn't help but press my throbbing erection against her, shifting so my encased length rubbed up against her heat.

Bella whimpered and met my thrust. Her arousal was evident as she rubbed herself against me, so I did it again. I nearly lost it when her hands moved down to urge my hips closer and she begged me in a desperate whisper, "Please….."

I reared up and began unbuttoning my pants, looking for any hint of fear on her face. I only saw burning desire as she watched my movements, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. I fumbled with the zipper and somehow managed to pull my pants and boxers off without incident. I didn't move back into her arms just yet.

I reached up and hooked my fingers into her already undone skirt, sliding them down her long legs and revealing the sexiest thing a woman could wear. Her panties were boy-short style, but pretty much all silk and lace. I sat back on my heels and just drank the sight in. Bella was lying stretched out before me, her breasts moving as she panted. Her hands were at her sides but turned towards me in invitation. Her face was flushed with desire and her eyes were sparkling. Red lips and slightly mussed hair completed the package….and I was at a complete loss as to express how I felt, knowing she was mine.

I tossed her skirt to the side and moved back between her legs but leaving enough room for me to play with the edges of the lace. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers while whispering, "I love you."

Bella opened those plump red lips to respond, but whatever she would have said was cut off as I slipped a finger underneath the edge of her panties to run down the center of that delicious heat. She was wet, so very wet for me already. I laid my forehead onto her shoulder and tried to not blow my load before we even got started. I pulled the lace to the side, making easier access for my explorations. I found her clit with my index finger and she shuddered almost violently as I circled it with the tip of my finger. I replaced my finger with the pad of my thumb and continued to build her desire as my fingers sought her entrance. I had no trouble at all slipping a finger inside and I moaned along with her. She was so small, so tight. I could hardly handle having my finger inside of her; I didn't know how I would last when I was buried inside all that tight heat.

I smiled when she whimpered as I pulled my finger out. I nibbled along her collar bones and slid the panties off of her. Her legs parted eagerly for me and I returned my fingers to where she so obviously wanted them to be. I was very aware of her fingers traveling down the front of my body and reaching for my throbbing erection. I knew it was not a good idea to let her stir me up any hotter than I already was, but I was too far gone to protest. I joined my second finger inside her with the first as her own fingers closed around me. I pushed myself against her hand, gritting my teeth at the pleasure that raced up and down my body.

I tried to distract myself by kissing every inch of her neck and shoulders. Her hand slowed and mine sped up, stretching her, helping her prepare for me. When she couldn't lay still anymore, her hands left my throbbing flesh and clutched my shoulders. I almost laughed in relief. I absolutely loved the feeling of her small little hands wrapped around me, but I had plans for tonight.

When my kisses reached her lips she kissed me desperately, pulling my bottom lip into her mouth. My thumb pressed harder against her wetness and she released my lip with a cry. Her head was tossed back on the pillows and her hair flowed around her like dark silk. I watched with utter satisfaction as the rapture flowed through her. Her legs clenched and unclenched around my hand as her body squeezed my fingers tight. I kept my hand still, waiting for the tremors in her body to fade before I removed them slowly.

I moved between Bella's shaky legs and rested my body lightly against her. There was nothing between her heat and mine and the sensation left me gasping. My heavy erection nestled against her folds and rested against her hip. I didn't know how I was able to control my raging desire in that moment. I wanted nothing more than to plunge myself hard and deep inside her. I rested my forehead against hers, our skin slightly damp already. My eyes met hers directly and I waited until the pleasure induced haze left them before asking her one more time, "Bella, you have to be completely sure. We can wait as long as you want; we don't have to do anything else right now."

Bella answered me first by wrapping her legs around my naked waist and lifting her hips. Her wetness slid down my length and I growled….I fucking growled.

"If you want me Edward, I am yours." Her lips were so close that I could feel them move against mine as she talked in an airy voice.

I closed that small distance between us, returning her rocking movements and putting more pressure against where I knew it would feel the best for her. She was so wet, so ready…

"I have wanted you since the moment I met you." I pulled back from her body, leaving us both wanting. "I'll be right back." I started to get off the bed to head for my room, where I knew a few condoms lay waiting. Bella grabbed my hand.

"Wait…" She twisted her body to reach for her nightstand drawer, and I took a moment to lust after the beautiful curve of her ass. She turned back to me, foil package clutched in trembling fingers. I raised my eyebrows; I didn't figure her for a girl who had condoms handy. She gave me a shy smile. "I stole them from Alice's room a few days ago."

I grinned at her, still throbbing with need. I crawled over to her and reached for the package. "So, you have been thinking about this for a little while?" Her blush delighted me and I rescued her from embarrassment. "That's okay, I am sure I have been thinking about it a lot more than you have…maybe more than is healthy."

Bella smiled at me and bit her lip, watching me unroll the condom on my aching flesh. If she showed any sign of fear at all, I was putting a stop to the whole idea, but I sincerely hoped that wouldn't happen….for both our sakes.

I settled myself between her legs again, a little lower this time. I poised my tip at the center of her wet heat, but I didn't push in just yet. The urge to do so left me shaking, but I wanted this to be as comfortable as possible for her. Her body was tense but her eyes were hooded with lust. I molded my mouth to hers, nibbling on her swollen lips until she became loose again. I put the barest of pressures against her and swallowed the moan that came from her.

I had to tell her…

"I love you Bella." I moved my lips to her ear and took the lobe between my lips. When she whispered her love back to me I covered her lips with mine again and started to gently push into her.

I felt my tip barely slip in. She was so tight and I had to take my sweet time with the whole process. Her legs tightened around my hips and I rocked forward a little more. At the same time I felt her tense against me I came to a barrier in her body.

I closed my eyes and felt the emotions roll over me in a tidal wave. She was a virgin….she hadn't been fully violated when she was younger. I rested my forehead against her chest to I could hear her heartbeat and I cried, just fucking cried. I managed to keep it silent, but the tears came anyways.

Bella hands moved from my back to rest against the back of my head. "Edward?"

I couldn't move just yet. "Its okay sweetheart, I just need a moment to calm down." The words came out fairly reassuring I think, but I had to swallow the tears down to do so. I took a moment to send up thanks to any and every deity I could think of that Bella was spared. God…. I was so damn grateful, more so than I had ever been in my entire life. If she hadn't been a virgin, my feelings would have not changed a bit, but I was grateful for her.

I moved up to kiss her again, hoping the dark would hide the trail of wetness on my face. Pulling myself more up on my elbows, I inched into her warm body. When I broke through her barrier she cried out against my lips. I pulled back from her face and stopped moving. "Its okay, the hard part is over. Are you alright?"

Bella shifted her hips after a moment and I groaned as she pulled me further inside her. Her walls were clamped down on me, pulsating in time with the rapid beating of her heart. "I think so….can we keep going?" I smiled at her eager whisper and gave my girl what she wanted.

I somehow managed to hold it together enough to take my time filling her up. Finally, I was completely inside her and I had to grip the pillow by her head tightly. It was so much better than I could have ever imagined. I shifted and pulled myself almost all the way out of her, her body still slick enough to make it an easy move for me. Bella's legs fell open more and more with every inch I put back into her. When the whimpers started I began to thrust a little faster, still watching for any signs of distress. Her face was slack with pleasure, her eyes closed and lips open. I kissed along her cheek and leaned on one arm so the other could play with her breasts. Her hips began to move with mine, finding the rhythm and matching it. I moved my hand down to where we were joined and found the little piece of flesh that always gave her such pleasure. I manipulated it with my fingers, thoroughly enjoying that finger nails that trailed over my back. I could tell she wasn't anywhere close to coming, especially with this being her first time, but I was almost there. My thrusts were getting harder to control in an even rhythm and all I could think about was how tight and warm and wet she was around me. My breathing was as harsh and fast as hers. I was throbbing almost painfully and when the first stirrings of my orgasm started I told her I loved her.

When I came it felt like I had let go of the cliff I had been hanging onto. My whole body jerked against her and I buried myself as deep as I could. I let my head fall to her shoulder as I rode out wave after wave of extreme pleasure, feeling sparks fall along my skin. Bella's hands were holding me close and I was afraid I was crushing her but she didn't seem to want to let me go. We lay like that for several minutes trying to get our breathing under control. Hell, I was just trying to work up enough energy to roll over at that point.

When my neck muscles started to cooperate I pulled my head up to look down at her. I was very fucking pleased to see the smile on her lips. She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead and her hair was damp against her temples. I kissed her lips and she returned to gesture enthusiastically. I gently pulled myself out of her body and we both groaned at the loss.

After a moment I managed to get up to dispose of the condom and go to the bathroom to grab a damp cloth. Bella hadn't moved from her spot at all and her eyes told me she was pretty tired.

_Yep, I did that._

I gave her a smile and gently cleaned up the small amount of blood on her thighs. It was another reminder of how special the night was for us. I felt like it was my first time too, like all sex before this was nothing compared to the real thing. This was how it should be with the woman I love….with Bella.

I pulled the sheets over our naked bodies and when she reached for me I pulled her into my arms. Her body was limp and I chuckled as she snuggled into me. She wrapped one leg over mine and I played with her long hair as we became more and more relaxed. We didn't talk about what happened; we both simply basked in the afterglow. There was no need to take it apart and analyze it. Bella was happy, so I was happy. I was holding the person that made my life worth living and she just gave me the most special gift she could have ever given me. Whatever happened next, we would always have this one, perfect night.

I kissed the top of her head, feeling her breathing steady as she started to fall asleep. She mumbled against my chest after kissing it lightly, "Happy New Year, Edward." I closed my eyes, wrappings my arms around her as much as I could.

"Happy New Year, Bella."

_**The Spill Canvas "This is for Keeps"**_

_The streets are dark, my pulse is flat-lined as I'm running to you._

_You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do._

_The air is thick with tension much like when we are together._

_My fangs are aching as I'm pondering about you and I, forever._

_As I round your corner, I am nervous that you won't be my lover._

_I knock three times and hope my pale complexion won't blow my cover._

_You answer the door with your innocent face._

_Would you like to leave this human race, tonight?_

_Eternity will never be enough for me,_

_And eternally will live our infallible love._

_My brain is pumping an unusual secretion of lust._

_Your eyes are softer now _

_And your chin, it drips a bloody color of rust_

_I am raising up the stakes of this round,_

_I am playing for keeps._

_Oh, would you like to leave this human race, tonight?_

_Eternity will never be enough for me,_

_And eternally will live our infallible love._

_Follow me into the sea._

_We'll drown together and immortalize you and me._

_We'll leave behind this empty town._

_We're both better than this, it's not worth being down._

_Eternity will never be enough for me,_

_And eternally will live our infallible love._

**Okay, I know a lot of you have heard this song before but tell me it doesn't give you chills! It's PERFECT! I about melted when I heard it the first time and when I looked up the lyrics I was like OH SNAP!!!**

**Okay, review time people please please PLEASE tell me what you thought of their first time. Did it suck? Did it make you hot? Did it make you swear off sex for the rest of your life because it was that bad????**

**As always, songs are in my profile. Please give me feedback!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to the last chapter! I guess you guys liked the lemonade : )**

**I appreciate your patience with this story.**

**This chapter is a little shorter than I planned on it being, but I couldn't find a decent place to stop it at. The next chapter will have more football and more dancing…as well as something you have been waiting for!**

**Disclaimer: I own the naughty thoughts…and that's about it.**

**Songs: The Spill Canvas "So Much"**

**Athenaeum "No One"**

**Chapter 19**

_**B**_

_**The Spill Canvas "So Much"**_

I woke up with my naked, sated body pressed against a very awake and aroused Edward. I didn't open my eyes at first; I just snuggled deeper into his embrace and felt his arms tighten around me. This was not the first time we had woken up sans clothing, but it was definitely different.

Last night felt like a dream and the low light that filtered into the bedroom made it seem like I was still in it. If it wasn't for the dull ache of my thighs when I stretched I could seriously write last night off as the best fantasy of my life. The whole experience was not at all like I expected. I have heard gossip and stories from my girlfriends of course, but I figured a person like me would not find sex enjoyable at all. While I desperately wanted Edward last night, I had talked myself into the fact that I would be enduring the whole thing instead of enjoying it. I felt like I was going into it mostly for Edward's sake, but now I felt selfish soaking up all the enjoyment.

There had been pain, of course. I knew there would be. What I didn't know was how much pleasure there would be. Edward had brought me with his talented fingers and I had definitely felt the stirrings resurface before he had found his own release. I immediately began imagining what it would feel like to have his hardness inside of me when I did find that pleasure, finding it together with him. Just thinking about it now had me circling his lower stomach with my fingers. I smiled when I heard his soft groan rumble through his chest and against my ear.

"Good morning to you too," he said with a smile in his tone. I grinned up at him and fell in love all over again at the sight of his bronze hair sticking up in every direction. He had shaved last night before our dinner, but the morning light revealed the beginnings of stubble on his strong jaw.

"It is, isn't it?" I kiss his chest, dangerously near his nipple and he jumped slightly. I felt a hand tangle itself in my hair…that was probably sticking up even more than his was.

_Me…Bella Swan…with sex hair!_

Edward's heart sounded louder against my ear as my fingers walked lower over his skin, playing with the course hair they encountered.

"Bella, we don't have to do anything if you are too sore."

I kissed his chest again and then lower, pushing the sheets down as my mouth traveled over his rapidly heating skin. I flicked my eyes back up at him as my tongue dipped into his navel. He looked like he was having a very hard time focusing and not protesting my advances too much. "I want to try, please." I hoped my voice didn't sound as desperate as I felt.

Edward smirked at me. "You don't have to ask me twice." He released his hand from my hair and I zeroed in on my prize. He was hard, hot and ready for me. I thought the best part was first contact; that moment when my lips surrounded the very tip of him and I felt his member jump in response. _Amazing._

I immediately performed the way I knew would drive him crazy. I have only gone down on him a few times, but I am a quick learner. Edward loved it when I wrapped my hand around his base and lowered my mouth down to meet my fist. His hips bucked every time and I repeated this motion enough that it wasn't long before he was grabbing at me again. "Stop…God you are driving me crazy!"

I lifted off of him with a confident grin. I don't know if he realized how much I enjoy giving him pleasure. It wasn't long before he found out. He dragged me up to lie beside of him. He moved right past my lips and growled as he clamped down on my hard nipple. Arching my back just gave him better access to the rest of my body. His fingers delved between my legs and slipped over me. He released my breast and looked up at me with lust making his green eyes burn bright. "You are soaking wet already."

I nodded at him, unable to form words to tell him that pleasuring him did the same thing to me in return. I felt a little tender at his first touches, but soon I was writhing as he worked me. His fingers dove deep inside me and he moved them in such a way that had my back tensing up in reaction. His thumb circled my clit and I felt myself clamping down around him hard. I reached for him. "Edward, wait… I want you inside of me."

Edward knew what I meant. His look was almost wild as he crawled up my body and crashed his lips with mine. His hardness rested just outside of my opening, teasing me until I whimpered with need. I tried thrusting my hips up to bring him in, but he moved so that instead he rubbed my wet folds and aching clit. He pushed against me again and again and I felt the tremors start. "Edward!" I sobbed his name in frustration and he finally relented. He pulled back long enough to pull on a condom and finally settled his full weight between my legs. When he slid inside I moaned, but it wasn't entirely in pleasure.

Despite how quiet I tried to be, Edward froze in mid-stroke. He moved the hair back from my face and looked at me in concern. "Too sore?"

I bit my lip and evaluated the pain. "It's not so bad. I think it's more my thighs than anything."

Edward slowly pulled back and out of me. I reached for him, protesting and trying to think of a way to tell him that my need was far greater than my discomfort. He lay on his back and pulled me astride him so suddenly I squealed in surprise. I sat on his lower stomach, a leg on either side of him and my hands planted on his chest to steady myself. Edward smiled up at me. "Is this better?"

I blinked at him a few times before considering his question. The pressure on my thighs was not as great and the soreness was much more manageable. The mechanics of this position seemed fairly simple, but I burned bright red thinking about how to ask him what to do next.

"Much better, but….how….what do I do?" I stammered and felt the blush burn across my cheeks and down my neck. Edward smiled up at me and pulled one of my hands up to kiss the knuckles. His hands then moved down to my hips and he slid me further down his body. I closed my eyes and sighed as I felt his erection rub against my aching flesh. Edward must have felt it as well because his voice was a harsh whisper. "Lift up a little for me, sweetheart." I shifted to take more of my weight on my knees and I felt his hand slide between my legs. The tip of his heat prodded until it rested against my waiting opening. I pretty much knew what was coming next, but Edward still guided me with his words and his hands. "Slide down on me. Go as slow as you want." His breathing was coming faster and mine sped up in reaction to his obvious desire.

I shifted down just a little and felt the head of him slid inside me. The soreness was not nearly as bad this way and my insides quivered in excitement. Inch by inch, I lowered myself until I was finally seated all the way and he was full and throbbing inside me. Edward and I both groaned and our hands moved. Mine reached for his muscled arms and his moved from my hips to my knees and back. "Bella…." My name was nothing more than a moan and it made me shake. His mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to tell me what to do, but when words failed him he gripped my hips and lifted me slightly. The sensation of him sliding out of me was almost as good as when I dropped back down. After a few times of him guiding me, I caught on and found my own rhythm. I leaned forward slightly and our hands locked together by his head. It felt exhilarating to set the pace of our lovemaking. It wasn't long before I felt the tightening in my stomach again.

Edward let go of my hands and reached for my breasts. He palmed both of them at the same time, applying maddening pressure and flicking the ends with his thumbs. I closed my eyes and pushed myself into my hands. Edward's hands worked harder and faster and I felt his hips rising to meet mine. "Bella, love…look at me." My eyes shot open to meet his. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were full of lust. "How does it feel?"

I rocked against him, "Good….so good…" How he could form a coherent sentence at a time like this, I will never know. He reached up to cup my face briefly before sliding his hand down my body. His hand splayed across my lower stomach and his thumb reached down to where we were joined. He quickly found the bundle of nerves that was already pulsating in time with my heart. "I'm close, Bella….so close…"

Having his thumb work on me in frantic circles and hearing the control slipping in his voice threw me forcefully over the edge. I gripped his arms tightly and bucked wildly on him. I vaguely thought I should be embarrassed at my exuberant reaction, but I was too busy having the greatest pleasure of my life. The feel of his hardness inside me as I came was beyond all of my wildest dreams. Edward was crying out my name and pushing as deep into me as he could. I was so tight around him that I felt him pulsating as he came, and that just extended my pleasure. I rocked against him unevenly a few times before finally collapsing in a sweaty heap on my amazing boyfriend.

He was holding me very tight to his chest and I was shaking with the force of our combined heartbeats. It was several minutes before we could move from each other, but when Edward finally softened and slipped out of me he gently rolled me to the side so he could dispose of the condom. He wasted no time in turning back to me and growling as he gripped me tight. I giggled and wrapped my own arms around his waist. "That was….amazing!" I sighed and decided then and there that no one in the world had better sex than us. It just wasn't possible. Edward kissed the top of my sweaty head.

"You haven't seen nothin' yet." His voice was laden with humor and promise. I leaned up on my arm and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Oh yeah? You think you can top that?"

Edward looked at me with a lecherous grin. "Let me introduce you to the buddy-system shower."

I vowed to myself to never take a shower alone again.

*************************

_**Athenaeum- "No One"**_

There was little time left to ourselves by the time we finally emerged from my bedroom. I had to admit that I was walking just a little tenderly today and sitting down on the couch abruptly was not a good move. I laughed when Edward looked at with concern and amusement. "I hope Alice doesn't have any plans for dance practice today."

Edward pulled me close and wrapped an arm around me. I snuggled against him as we flipped through the channels on the television. He pressed his lips against my ear.

"Just tell Alice that you are too sore from banging your boyfriend all night and to leave you the hell alone."

I snorted and shook my head, just imagining the look on their face if I said that. I knew I would have to tell them eventually, if Alice didn't figure me out the moment they walked in the door.

Edward played with my hair absently and we didn't speak for several minutes. My thoughts were somewhere else…basically back in the bedroom…so Edward's voice was almost startling when he broke the silence.

"Do you have any regrets?" He spoke softly, but I heard the depth in those words. I knew he was worried about how I would feel when we finally made love, and I guess the actions I took before, during and after our shower may not have been enough proof. I made sure to meet his eyes before I spoke.

"Edward, last night was the best night of my life. I wouldn't change a thing and I have absolutely no regrets." I leaned up to kiss him softly. "I love you."

Edward nuzzled me with his nose. "I love you too."

Our quiet afternoon together finally ended when we heard the sound of a car pulling up and the clomp of steps on the side porch. I looked up at Edward. "So, should we just dive right in and see what happens?" He knew what I was referring to and he took in a deep breath and gave me a reassuring smile. "What the hell…I'm breaking all the rules as it is." So we didn't move from each other. He left his arm around me and I kept my head on his shoulder.

I heard the kitchen door open and close and soft footsteps accompanied Rosalie's voice. "Helllloooooo! Anyone home?"

"In here," I called out to them, still not moving from my comfortable spot next to Edward. My roommates strolled into the living room, bags in hand. "Hey guys. How was break?" When I smiled up at them I was met with winces and slightly pained looks. "What?" Edward looked up at them as well. Alice dropped her bags and propped herself against the arm of the couch. "Not that I am not thrilled to see you guys come out of the closet, but you may want to keep it on the down-low a little longer."

I narrowed my eyes at them. "I thought you both said we needed to tell Emmett and soon." Edward had already moved his arm from around me and I frowned in response. _What the hell?_

Rosalie dropped her bags a little less gracefully than Alice and sighed. "Emmett is not in the best mood. Actually, he is in a damn rotten mood." She turned to glance at the kitchen and then back at us. "The Jeep broke down a few miles out of town and we had to get it towed back here. It doesn't look good and that was after a long and angry phone conversation with his mother."

I moaned and leaned my head back against the couch. _Why? Out of all days for this to happen…._

I didn't argue when Edward scooted over to the end of the couch. I resisted the urge to scream in frustration as Emmett and Jasper walked in the house. Well, Jasper walked in…Emmett stormed in.

"_Goddamn, mother fucking, cock sucking, son of a bitch!"_

Rosalie winced. "Did we mention that the only towing company open today charged double?"

_Perfect._

A second later we saw a sulking Emmett stomp into the living room. Jasper quietly moved around him, giving me a smile and Edward a slap on the shoulder before sitting next to Alice. Emmett stood in front of us with narrowed eyes, face flushed with anger. I think I might have heard Edward swallow nervously. I tried giving Emmett a smile. "Hi Emmett! I missed you."

Abruptly, he dropped his bags and leaned down to plant a hard kiss on top of my head. "Missed you too, Bells." He pulled back and glared at Edward. "Did anything happen while we were gone that I need to know about?"

I felt a flush starting up my neck and I fought like crazy to keep it under control. Luckily, Emmett wasn't looking anywhere at me, but instead at my nervous boyfriend. Edward didn't even glance at me; he just glared right back at Emmett and firmly lied.

"Nope."

Emmett nodded once. "Good," and with that he snatched up his and Rosalie's bags and stomped up the stairs.

The rest of us looked around at each other with wide eyes. Rosalie rolled her eyes and flopped down next to me. "I am going to give him a while to calm down. Just FYI Edward, he will probably want to drag your ass out for a run later on."

Edward raised his brows. "There is still snow on the ground." When Rosalie just looked at him, he sighed and shrugged. "Great."

I folded my arms and pouted. "It figures the one day I have the guts to tell Emmett about my boyfriend he is all nuclear angry."

Alice reached over from her perch on Jasper's lap and patted my arm. "Its okay, Bella. Let's just keep it to ourselves for a little while longer. I am sure things will be back to normal by homecoming." Edward reached over and took my hand. I smiled at him and he gave me a half smile in return. It was still nice to have most of our friends know about us and to be able to act _almost_ like a normal couple in front of them.

"Speaking of homecoming," Alice began, "are we planning on doing a little practice today?"

I glanced over at Edward, biting my lip. _I knew it!_ "Can't we wait until after classes tomorrow?"

Rosalie grabbed my free hand and dragged me to my feet. "You know the dancing will relax you, Bella. Besides, we will be too beat from our first day of classes to do anything but a half-ass practice tomorrow."

Edward looked up at me with pity and tried one more time to get me out of working my sore body. "I was planning on sneaking out with Bella for a bit, if that's okay." Alice jumped off Jasper and grabbed my other hand. "Don't worry, lover boy. We will have your woman back to you before you know it."

Edward looked like he was about to snatch me away from my roommates and run off with me, so I gave him a reassuring smile before letting my girls drag me off to the workout room. I saw Jasper and Edward turn to watch us leave and as I rounded the corner I heard Jasper punch Edward on the arm and say, "Ain't love grand?"

******************************

A hot shower helped with some of the aching, but there were just certain places that a shower couldn't help. And yes, showering alone sucked.

I didn't bother to do more than flop face-down on my bed, wrapped in just my towel. My hair was cold against my bare back, but I couldn't summon the energy to move and do something about it. My friends were evil and they didn't even know it. _Or did they?_

One could argue that they deliberately tried to get the truth out of me by torture. I mean _come on!_ It's not like I got a lot of rest last night to begin with but top that with bruised girly parts and I spent the whole afternoon trying not to wince or cry.

_Evil…evil girls._

If they had a clue about why I was less than enthused to be dancing, they never mentioned it. I deliberately didn't look directly at Alice if I could avoid it. She could read me like a book. I had trudged up the stairs declining their offer to share the pizza they had ordered and bid them a weary goodnight. I was absolutely dreading starting back to classes tomorrow.

I had just started to go into a post-dance/lack-of-sleep-due-to-amazing-sex coma when there was a soft knock at my door. When Jake didn't bark in reaction, I realized that I had probably locked him out of my room. I was contemplating whether to play asleep and ignore the knocking or to get up and throw on some clothes before I told them to go to hell.

The decision was taken away from me when the door creaked open. I managed to roll over and hold the towel against my chest as Edward slipped through the door, pizza box in hand and Jake by his side. He gave me a small smile. "Delivery."

I grinned up at him but whispered my concern, "What about Emmett?"

Edward waved my concern off. "Emmett decided to have a few drinks and fall asleep while playing some violent game on Xbox. We are in the clear."

I loved it when Edward went all stealthy.

He sat next to me on the bed and I propped myself up against the headboard. He opened the box and my stomach growled at the cheesy smell that greeted me. I moaned in appreciation and started scarfing down a slice. Edward chuckled and snagged a piece for himself. "I thought you might be a little hungry. How are you feeling?"

I rolled my eyes and swallowed. "They are brutal girls and right now I wish bad things upon them." Edward chuckled again but rubbed his free hand along my back. "I'm sorry, love. I wish I could have rescued you."

"They will find out soon enough, but I am thinking today was not a good day for revealing anything to anyone," I sighed, feeling more tired now that I had warm food in my stomach. Edward saw my yawn…though I seriously wasn't trying to hide it. He closed the pizza box and set it on my desk, careful not to set it on the journal I was currently writing in. I watched him with hooded eyes as he pulled his shirt over his head and locked the door before coming back to the bed.

Edward tenderly took me into his arms, pulling back the covers before setting me back down. He took the towel from my body and wrapped me in the sheets. He shifted to sit behind me and used the towel to soak up the water in my hair. I closed my eyes and leaned back, becoming totally boneless under his ministrations. It was no surprise that the feeling of his chest pressed against my back made shivers of pleasure travel down my body, but Edward mistook that for a genuine chill. He moved to my side and gently lay me down into his warm embrace. I cursed Alice and Rosalie again, wishing I had enough energy to do the things to him that I have fantasized about all afternoon.

Edward stroked my naked back and I carefully laid my thigh across his legs. I felt the brush of his arousal and immediately felt bad for leaving him in need. Edward continued to touch me soothingly and kissed me gently, whispering, "I love you….sleep well." I promised myself I would make it up to him later.


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry it's been so long. RL and all that. Turns out that being a Nanny is okay, except when I want to get on my laptop. Then the kid wants to bang on the screen and stuff. Great. I really appreciate all the reviews and patience. I hope this chapter lives up to all you guys hoped for.**

**Song for this chapter: "Now That You Got It" Gwen Stefani**

**Disclaimer: I love Stephenie for bringing this obsession to me.**

**This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal. She was one heck of a writer.**

Chapter 20

_**E**_

So we waited……and waited.

Yeah, Emmett's bad mood lasted for fucking weeks.

Just when we thought it might be okay to approach him, he would snap at someone…usually me. The guy was seriously freaking me out by the second week. One evening, I had been down in the kitchen getting a couple of bottles of water for me and Bella. Over the past couple of weeks, we had gotten very good at staying quiet. While it was nice adding the extra spice of possibly getting caught, I felt like neither one of us were enjoying ourselves to the fullest. We needed to have an evening alone so we could let out all the passion we were holding back. The thought of such an evening had me grinning like a fucking idiot at the open refrigerator, forgetting what the hell I was supposed to be getting from it.

Emmet's loud "inside" voice scared the shit out of me and made me bang my head on the door of the refrigerator.

"What the hell is up with you?" Emmett looked at me with big brows furrowed, arms crossed. I rubbed my aching head and hastily reached for the water bottles.

"Excuse me?" I bit back at him. Emmett walked over to me and pointed a big finger at my face. "You're different."

"Different?" I was genuinely confused. _What the fuck is this guy talking about? Maybe he is sleepwalking._

"Yeah…different." He gestured vaguely at my face. "You're all smiley and shit lately. What the fuck is up with that?"

If I thought I wouldn't get punched, I would have laughed. I didn't know how else to act. He finally knew something was going on. The fucked up part was that he had no clue what that thing was, but he was pissed anyways. _Great_.

"What? I can't be fucking happy now?" I was pretty sure that hostility wasn't the way to go, but basically it was all I knew. "The team is great, I am managing to keep my shit together and Rosalie hasn't dismantled my car. What the hell shouldn't I be happy about?"

Emmett stared me down with narrowed eyes and I barely managed to not squirm. I felt like I was back in a damn interrogation room. Finally he decided he was satisfied with my answer…either that or he just decided that Rosalie in his bedroom was far more interesting than me in the kitchen. He turned away and stalked towards the door. I had just decided to breathe out a silent sigh in relief when he swung back to me.

"Why do you have two water bottles?"

_Shit!_ I looked from the water bottles in my hand and then back up to him.

"I'm fucking thirsty, alright?"

Emmett shook his head and stormed out. He knew something was up and if the homecoming game this weekend wasn't enough of a distraction, then Bella and I were two seconds from being exposed.

************************

With the last dance-stealing fiasco, the girls had not revealed the next routine to anyone, including the team. All of their practices had been done indoors away from peeping eyes. While Rosalie had every intention of retaliation against the cheerleaders (which may have included violence) Alice and Bella decided that sinking down to their level would be pointless. Without dance routines to steal, the cheerleaders would embarrass themselves enough in front of the stadium during halftime.

The dance team was saving their routine for the pep-rally tonight and I was okay with that. The less I saw of her moving her body in any sort of sensual way, the less likely I will blow our cover. Earlier in the day, Bella and I talked about Emmett's suspicious behavior. We both thought that telling him before the game was not a good idea at this point, but Bella grimaced at me.

"He will probably know by tonight at the pep-rally."

I stopped in mid-motion of pulling my jersey on. "Why do you say that?"

"Let's just say it will be pretty obvious."

I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about, but I was pretty sure I could pretend to be indifferent. _Unless_….if she broke out with sexy-ass moves or some shit like that, I would probably lose my mind and not care who saw me. I needed to make sure I focused on my facial expressions tonight…maybe not even stand near Emmett at all.

So here I was, standing next to Emmett right before the pep-rally. No matter what I did, he kept popping back up next to me. Sometimes he would be grinning and slapping me on the back and sometimes I would catch him scrutinizing me. He was sticking to me like glue. I kept focusing on keeping my expression neutral. _ No matter what Bella does, don't flip out._

We were standing in the student center building, waiting for the announcement for us to storm out into the courtyard. The yard was set up with a bonfire, sound system, lights and a portable stage. The team would be announced and afterwards the girls would dance their routine. All Emmett, Jasper and I knew was that they had something "special" planned for their costumes. That did not sound reassuring to my new-found self control.

Finally, we heard our cue and for the first time, I led the team out. I was content to come out last like the rest of our events, but the guys all insisted that I lead them out. Well, almost all the guys. Newton had been silent since I took over the team. He was always at the practices and games but he sulked so much it was almost embarrassing. The few guys who had his back before seemed to realize that his time in the spotlight was over. I couldn't have asked for a better group of guys. When I trotted out into the cheering group of students, I was never prouder to be part of a team. I couldn't help but grin as the people piled into the small quad started chanting my name.

_Never bet against Alice._

Emmett was right behind me, saying goofy shit like "You're too kind" or "I love you guys". I realized that this is the first time that he and the rest of the guys had actually been surrounded by cheering fans. The Huskies had a winning season worth writing home about.

Once the introductions were over we piled around the bonfire to wait for the cheerleaders. They did a few cheers and some people even cheered along, but most people looked away as if in pain. Yeah, they were _that_ bad. Right when their routine was done I felt someone shove me from behind. "Hey man, you know anything about this top-secret dance routine?" Jasper shoved in between me and Emmett, who greeted him with a punch to the arm. I shook my head, "Not a damn thing."

The fire kept my back warm as we stood shoulder to shoulder with the other students. Some of them tried talking to us, but all the attention was brought to the stage as the lights changed. I clenched my hands into fists and reminded myself not to react to whatever I was about to see.

All the lights switched to red and the stage was illuminated. The girls were staggered in three rows facing the front. All of them wore mischievous smiles and the crowd was cheering wildly. When I saw their costumes, I knew why. I bit the inside of my mouth to keep my jaw from hanging wide open. Emmett didn't even bother hiding his shock. His hands came up to rest on top of his head and he made some sort of crazy-ass gasping noise. Jasper took a staggering step forward before reaching out to steady himself with my shoulder…or maybe he was holding _me_ back from running up to the stage.

I quickly found Bella and I let my eyes take a trip up and down her body. Her legs were encased in skin-tight black work-out pants that stopped very low on her hips. From her hips on up it was a glorious stretch of pale skin. Her top was a dark blue jersey…the exact type of jersey that I was currently wearing. Only this particular jersey was cut so that the bottom of her black cropped shirt hung out. The black sleeves hugged her arms and complimented the darkness of her hair. _Goddamn….that hair._ Her long locks were in curls flowing around her shoulders. When I reached her face, I was pleasantly surprised at her expression. She was posed with her arms slightly outstretched and she was looking directly at me. Her smoky eyes bored into my dumbfounded ones. Seeing her dressed in a football jersey….that was the fucking sexiest thing I had ever seen. But there was something different about her expression. I smiled at her and she grinned….a no-shit grin. This was the first time I had seen an actual smile on her face as she stood in front of a crowd. Gone was the distant fake smile and she wasn't looking over the crowd, she was looking at them head-on. I didn't know what made her suddenly get over her fears, but I was so fucking proud of her.

_**Gwen Stefani: "Now That You Got It"**_

The music started and all the dancers immediately dropped to a crouch and slapped the floor of the stage before bouncing back up. Their feet stomped to the beat from side to side, and then they angled their bodies with their arms moving above their heads. That caused their shirts to ride up higher and I know I wasn't the only one who groaned in response. Jasper's grip on my shoulder tightened almost painfully and Emmett took a few steps towards the stage with his hand outstretched. I could understand why…Rosalie filled out her jersey more than any other girl there.

Bella had me in her spell as she clapped her hands and swayed her hips. Each of the lines took turns putting their arms over their heads and swinging around in quick circles, turning their hips out with the beat. There were words on the back of their shirts, but most of them had their hair down and moved too fast for me to make them out. To be perfectly fucking honest…I couldn't tear my eyes away from Bella's form long enough to read anything.

_"Now that I'm your baby, the things you promised me now I want."_

The girls smiled and crouched down again, coming back up with their backs bowed in a move that had every male their whistling and yelling. Emmett had moved up close to the portable stage they were dancing on, so Jasper and I mutely followed him. I don't think any of us were really aware of our actions at that point. I had to glare at a couple of eager fuckers that seemed to be staring just a little too hard at the girl I worshipped. By the time we stood next to Emmett again the song was winding down and the girls performed some elaborate hip-hip type of steps. Bella's smile was firmly in place and she scanned the crowd until the found me again. When the song slowed down for a moment, the girls did a very slow spin, letting us get a good look at the names on the back of their jerseys.

It was no surprise that Rosalie had "McCarty" on the back of her shirt. In fact, it looked like she could have taken one of Emmett's jerseys and cut it up to create the world's most seductive outfit. Jasper let out some sort of southern swear word and grinned up at his girlfriend. Alice had put "Whitlock" on the back of her jersey. The other dancers had names on their jerseys, most of them of other guys on the team. But my eyes had frozen on the name patch on the back of Bella's jersey.

Her hair was over one shoulder, allowing a clear view of the "Cullen" patch on the back of her shirt. When she turned back and looked over her shoulder at me, I am sure all my desire for her was burning in my eyes. I fucking loved that she wore my jersey. I had one moment of jubilation. _Back off, assholes! That's MY girl!_

That one tiny moment turned into _oh….shit!_

Emmett had turned to face me, and I knew he had not missed my name on the back of Bella's jersey or the way I was looking at her. Jasper glanced at me and then to Emmett, his eyes going wide with realization. "Emmett, buddy…." Jasper tried speaking in a calming manner, but the damage was done. Emmett ignored him and reached out for me, grabbing the neck of my jersey and dragging me back towards the student center.

**********************************

Emmett wasted no time in pulling me through the student center and out into the parking lot up front. I could have put up a fight, but I just let myself be taken by him. I had been expecting this for a while now and resigned myself to some sort of beat down. I knew Jasper was right behind us but I was surprised to hear Bella's voice cut through the dark parking lot.

"Emmett McCarty! Let him go, right now!"

Emmett didn't even slow down. We got to a secluded area away from streetlights and onlookers. When he finally stopped I didn't turn to see who else had followed us.

"Bella, go back to the rally." I looked at Emmett as I spoke. His anger flowed off him in waves. I could feel his hand shaking as it gripped my shirt tightly. I felt Bella moved up beside me.

"No I will _not_ go back to the rally and Emmett is _not_ going to hurt you." Her voice was stern, but Emmett was too far gone to be swayed by a scolding.

"I knew it…I fucking _knew _it!" He spoke through clenched teeth. Jasper's voice came at me from over my shoulder.

"Calm down Emmett." But Barbara Walters wasn't having any luck tonight.

"Shut the hell up, Jasper and stay out of it!" Emmett didn't take his eyes off me. "You knew the rules. You knew what would happen if you messed with Bella."

"He didn't _mess_ with me! It's not like that!" Bella reached out and tugged on Emmett's arm. I spared a glance at her. "Please Bella, stay back." I didn't want her to get in the way of whatever was going down between me and Emmett. Of course she ignored me.

Alice and Rosalie had joined our little group. Rosalie tapped Emmett's shoulder….hard. "You need to back off, Emmett!" Alice had her arms folded and glared at Emmett disapprovingly. I took a second to be thankful that everyone was on my side for once. Emmett looked at Rosalie, then to the rest of the group. He shook his head and snorted.

"How long?" He looked at me as he spoke, but it was Bella who answered him.

"Since fall break." Her voice was less forceful and she took a step away from Emmett and closer to me. I ached to wrap my arms around her, but I didn't dare to even look at her right now. Emmett turned his glare to Rosalie.

"And you all knew this entire time?" His tone was accusatory. Rosalie didn't cower down, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Pretty much."

I felt his grip on my shirt tighten. "Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me?" His voice boomed across the mostly empty parking lot. Alice had moved next to Jasper so her voice carried over my shoulder. "Because we knew you would take it _so_ well." I wanted to laugh at the sarcastic tone in her voice, but I was really trying to avoid a beat-down.

Emmett released my jersey with a shove and I stumbled back a little. His hands were clenched into fists at his side and I was tensed, ready for him to swing out any second now. I flinched when he raised a hand to point at me.

"You are out, Cullen. You are out of the house and off of the team."

Alice and Rose shrieked Emmett's name at the same time and Jasper stepped up beside me saying, "You can't do that!" Bella's voice cut through all of them.

"Stop it, Emmett! I love him!"

The parking lot suddenly became silent. I had told Jasper that I was in love with Bella, but I don't think Bella had told Alice or Rose yet, judging by the surprise on their faces. Emmett looked down hard at Bella, who had her face bravely upturned to him. She reached back blindly with her right hand towards me and I took a chance and grasped it with my own. She squeezed it tightly. "I love him, and if you kick him off the team and out of the house then I will go with him." Emmett's face started turning red and so I stepped up beside Bella, speaking for the first time.

"You need to know something, Emmett. I love Bella more than my own life and I would never do anything to hurt her. I made you that promise and I will keep it, but we will be together no matter what you do. We waited to tell you last because your opinion means the most…to both of us." When he didn't try to reach out and strangle me, I felt brave enough to put an arm around Bella's waist. She turned towards me and I felt how cold her exposed skin was. I narrowed my eyes down at her and pulled back to take my jersey off. I took off my long sleeved shirt underneath it and pulled my jersey back on. I was freezing without the undershirt, but ignored that fact as I pulled the thicker shirt over Bella's head. She put her arms through the sleeves and it was big enough to fall well below her waist. She smiled gratefully up at me and moved into my side again, sharing her warmth. When I looked back up to Emmett, I blinked at the expression on his face. It was a total change from the anger he had been expressing all this time. Now he looked in wonder at Bella, pressed in tight to my side with my arm wrapped protectively around her. I realized he was seeing her have physical contact with a man for the first time since he met her.

Emmett rubbed his face with his hands and he let out a deep sigh, his breath coming out in clouds in the cold night. He cocked his head to the side and smiled ruefully at Bella. "You really do love him, don't you?"

She nodded up at her surrogate brother. He leaned his head back and I saw the tension draining from his body. When he looked at me again, he wasn't smiling, but he wasn't angry either.

"You know the deal, if you hurt her I will hurt you. That doesn't change just because you two are together now." I nodded solemnly at him. "I would die before hurting her."

I was surprised to see Emmett's outstretched hand and it took me a moment to clasp it. He shook my hand in a firm grip, telling me that he accepted me without actually saying it. After giving me one last hard look, he turned to Bella.

"I only want you to be happy, Bells." Bella let go of me to reach up and wrap her arms around Emmett's neck. I heard her mumble into his neck, "I am very happy. I don't think I have ever been this happy before."

When they released each other, Rosalie flew into Emmett's arms and peppered him with kisses. Jasper sighed with relief behind me. "Thank God that's over." Alice's voice carried a certain smugness, "I knew everything would work out fine." I turned to look at her.

"How about telling me that next time so I don't have an ulcer worrying about it."

Alice laughed and hugged me. I returned the embrace with a smile. She pulled back to smile at me. "Now where would be the fun in that?"

We decided to skip the rest of the pep-rally and headed back home. I think we all had enough excitement for one day, and tomorrow was going to be big. Bella and I agreed that while we didn't have to hide our relationship anymore, we didn't need to flaunt the fact we were sleeping together. I slipped in after everyone was in their rooms just like before. Bella pulled me down to kiss me and I fingered the edge of the jersey short she still wore. I groaned and pulled back from her.

"You have no idea what I want to do to you right now. Let's keep the shirt put away until I can calm down a little. I don't trust myself not to wake the entire house if you wear it for one second longer." I smiled when I said this, but inside I was cursing the fact that her room was right next to Emmett and Rosalie's. Bella smirked up at me, but switched her jersey for a plain t-shirt. "So you liked the costume?"

I crawled in beside her, getting myself ready for a night of celibacy. We both had agreed to wait until after the game tomorrow to "wear ourselves out". I yanked her down beside me and grinned at her giggle. "Are you guys wearing them for half-time tomorrow?" She nodded against my chest. I tilted her face up to mine and spoke against her lips. "Leave the costume on after the game and I will show you how much I fucking like it."

Holding Bella in my arms that night was the best feeling in the world. I had my girl, and everyone knew about us and I wasn't beaten to death. I was once again cheered for by the fans and I was pumped up for the game tomorrow night. I was pretty sure my life couldn't get any better than it was right in that moment.

I should have known it wouldn't last for long.

**Okay it was a short as hell chapter but I have been working on this for days already. I was going to include the football game in this chapter but we will pick up then at the next chapter.**

**What did you think of Emmett's reaction? Cheesy? Realistic? Lemme know.**

**Check out my profile for songs and links to some dance routines.**

**Thanks for sticking with me!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Songs: P.O.D "Here Comes the Boom"**

**Josh Kelley "Tidal Wave"**

***lemon alert***

**Disclaimer: It owns me.**

**­­­­­­­­**_**E**_

I could hear the thumping of the intro music pouring through the emptying locker room. The team was filing out to be announced onto the field but I was being detained by the offense coaches. They were throwing some last minute drills at me, hoping that we could mix it up a little if the opposing team caught on to our maneuvers. I nodded at them and memorized the details on the board in front of me. I heard the locker room door slam open and coach Meyers stomped in.

"What in the burning hell are you still doing in here Cullen? You don't even have your damn shoes on!" His southern accent sort of took the fire out of his words and I barely managed not to grin at his outburst. "Sorry Coach, I'm coming out right now." I nodded at the other coach and trotted over to my locker to retrieve my shoes.

"Well hurry your ass up. The whole stadium is waiting for you." He left after that last bark and I barely heard him. I tossed my gear around the locker, searching for my shoes.

_Where the fuck are they?_

For a moment I panicked, thinking I left them at the house or some shit. That would figure. Not that they don't have spare shoes laying around everywhere, but the last thing I wanted to do was work in shoes that weren't broken in. I scanned the locker room and spotted a pair of cleats under one of the benches. _Bingo._

I snatched them up and hopped along as I pulled them on and walked at the same time. Sprinting down the hallway, I started hearing my name being chanted, echoing along the concrete tunnel. I grinned and broke out into the blaring stadium lights just as my name was announced.

_**P.O.D. "Here Comes the Boom"**_

I held my helmet up and smiled at the stands, heading over to the rest of the starting team warming up on the field. We were already warmed up, but the crowd loved to see us go through the routine. It showed unity and pumped up the atmosphere. Before I pulled my helmet on I turned and looked back at the tunnel for my girl. She didn't disappoint. My whole chest swelled almost painfully to see her standing with Alice and Rosalie waving at me. Bella was wearing that fucking fantastic jersey outfit again and it took all I had to not fantasize about all the things I had planned for her later tonight.

_Head in the game Eddie….head in the game_.

I waved back at them and now…_now_ I was ready to play some football.

*******************

I was hit from behind and went down hard, the wind completely knocked out of me. The ball moved dangerously near the tips of my fingers before I tucked it into close to my body, away from the reaching hands of the defensive player who grabbed for it. When I could catch my breath, I uttered a few choice words, mostly to myself. The tension between the teams was high enough without me having to add fuel to the fire. I felt a couple of guys come up to help haul me to my feet and pat me on the back. I didn't get too angry about the sack. Our team was up…by a lot. I almost felt bad about pounding them into the ground with touchdown after touchdown, but hell…it made my statistics better and it kept the crowd on their feet. So I kept it up.

The girls had danced during halftime, but Emmett and I had wisely decided to skip the show. I know his nights were not as restrained as mine was, but we needed to keep our focus. No reason to screw up now and let the other team catch up. Now all the dancers were standing on the sidelines, moving with the beat of the band's tunes between plays. I stole a glance at Bella as I sat on the bench and the defensive line moved on field. I was relieved to see the smile on her face was big and relaxed as she spun and kicked for the cheering fans. I didn't mention anything about her new attitude last night because I didn't want to make her feel self-conscious again. I wonder if Alice or Rosalie noticed the change in her.

The defense shut down the other team's advances without them getting anywhere near the goal line. I took one more glance at the playbook and pulled my helmet on. Emmett gave me a nod as we passed. It wasn't a slap on the back or high-five, but it was more than I thought it would be this soon after finding out Bella and I are together. Of course, he didn't yet know that I was sleeping with her. I would be lucky to get a nod then.

I trotted to the thirty yard line and moved into place. Looking up and down the line, I waved a signal at the tight ends and flexed my fingers. I crouched down and called down the play and the ball sailed smoothly into my hands. I took five or six steps back and looked for my chosen receiver. He was wide open and looking back in my direction. I leaned back and then brought my weight forward for the pass. The ball just left my fingers when my ankle rolled and caused me to stumble and fall onto the field just as a defensive player rushed in my direction. Pain shot through my ankle and I pulled my knee up to my chest as I lay on the field, groaning in frustration and discomfort.

The officials whistled for a pause in the game and I was surrounded by players and coaches. I wasn't hurt bad, but I knew I was not going to be playing again right away. I was trying my best to reassure them that I could walk. It was damn embarrassing to be sitting in the middle of the field as the whole friggen stadium watched on. After a lot of poking and prodding I was hauled to my feet. A trainer and physical therapist each threw an arm around their shoulders and helped me limp off field. I gave a thumbs-up to the fans as they clapped for me.

Emmett was among the people hovering around my bench as the physical therapist evaluated my foot. I winced as I rotated it one way and then another, but it wasn't unbearable. I looked up at Coach Meyers.

"Coach, I can still play."

The old man regarded me for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't need to risk you screwing up your ankle permanently. You will sit the rest of the game out and Newton will take over." The whole team groaned at his announcement. The coach himself really didn't look too pleased. I was fucking pissed. I worked to hard too let that little shit take us down now. Coach Meyers moved over to me as the offensive line prepared to take the field. I gripped the edge of the bench to stay seated as I saw the smug look on Newton's face. A firm hand on my shoulder helped keep me grounded.

"Don't worry son. You got us so far ahead he shouldn't be able to do too much damage."

I hoped to hell he was right. The last thing we needed was to lose a homecoming game after such a great winning streak.

Emmett plopped down next to me as the trainer finished packing the ice around my ankle. He held out my left shoe towards me, face set in a serious way.

"Hey man, you need to check your equipment out before putting it on. Your laces were jacked up and they came apart."

I narrowed my eyes at the shoe. "They broke? They are brand new! I should sue the fucking company that made it…"

"No dude," he interrupted. "The lace wasn't torn, it was cut."

"What?" I grabbed the shoe and looked at the broken lace. The edges of the two ends were almost completely smooth, except for one small bunch of strands. I fingered the laces. "Mother fucker." I leaned over to look at my other shoe and sure as shit, the laces on that one had also been messed with. I pointed to it.

"Both my damn shoes have been fucked with. They look like they were cut and hanging by just a thread."

"Just enough to snap in the middle of some action," Emmett finished my train of thought.

I didn't have to think too long and hard about possible suspects. I glared out at the replacement quarterback fumbling around on the field. "Newton," I growled his name. I was going to kick his ass.

Emmett rubbed his neck and shook his head. "I don't know man. I don't think he has the balls to do something like this."

"Who the hell else could it have been?"

Emmett shrugged. "It probably _was_ him, but the question is…are you going to Coach with this?" I thought about it for a moment and then snorted. "Doubt it. I don't have a track record that makes me trustworthy. Newton has a fucking squeaky clean record, so if it comes down to a judgment of character I would be on the losing end of that shit."

Emmett agreed with me. "It sucks man, but you can't fuck him up either. You will get the boot if you even spit at him." He and I both winced as Newton threw an interception pass…again. "Hell, maybe you don't need to fuck him up. The crowd may take him out if he keeps this shit up." I tried to be mollified by the jeers and protests of the Husky fans at my replacement, but I was just as angry and frustrated as they were.

One thing was for certain. Newton had just gone from a minor nuisance to an all-out pain in my ass.

***************************

I didn't need to lean on Emmett when we walked up the steps to the house. My ankle was still tender, but the physical therapists thought I would be alright without crutches. If they would have given me some, I would have thrown them out the car window. We still won the game…barely. Newton had basically let the other team score all they wanted in interceptions and fumbles, but we were far ahead enough before I left the game that we managed to squeak by. If Newton tried to get back into the game because of the glory, he didn't get it today. The crowd yelled obscenities as he strode off the field and everyone in the locker room had given him the cold shoulder. I got a little tickled as he stomped out of the room before the coaches had even finished talking.

When we walked into the door I was nearly knocked over by a small brunette blur. I caught myself with a hand against the refrigerator and chuckled down at the girl with her arms clutched around my waist. "Alice…I need to breathe."

Alice released her grip on me and stepped back, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just so worried when you got hurt. Are you okay? Will you play the next game? Do you need anything?" When she stopped enough to catch her breath Jasper came up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Sweetie, I think that's something his girlfriend should be asking him." He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes before searching for said girlfriend. Bella moved around Alice and Jasper and looked up at me with worried eyes. I gave her a smile and placed my arms around her bare waist. She still had her jersey costume on. _Good girl._ My smile probably looked more like a leer at that point.

Bella reached up to cup my cheek and I kissed her palm automatically. "Are you okay?" she asked me. I reached up and ran my fingers over her forehead, cheeks and lips. She closed her eyes in response and the worry lines on her face smoothed out.

"I'm fine, just a little sore but nothing that won't be fixed by the next game. I wanted to get back in and keep going but it was Coach's choice to sit me out." I heard Rosalie scoff from her spot next to Emmett. "That was a stellar move." I smirked at her in agreement then returned my attention to Bella. She was still looking at me in concern so I reached down and wrapped my arms around her waist, hauling her off her feet and up against my chest. Her breathing hitched and she blinked at me with startled eyes. I grinned at her and when her cheeks started to burn I pressed my lips to hers. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she responded eagerly to the kiss.

I had just gotten into the completely happy place in my mind when I heard a throat clearing. It felt so good to not have to hide our relationship, but maybe I overstepped my lines of freedom just a little. I pulled back and let Bella slowly slide down to place her feet back on the floor. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning out loud at the incredibly friction of our bodies rubbing together. Bella seemed just as affected as I was, looking at me with hooded eyes. I was so ready to get upstairs.

Someone cleared their throat…again…and I glared at Emmett. He had his arms crossed and was ignoring all the angry looks from the females in the room.

"So Rosalie and I are heading out for a night on the town and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon." He reached around Rosalie's waist and tugged her forcefully against his side. His face broke out into his customary grin. "I feel the need to celebrate!" Rosalie rolled her eyes but a delicate flush appeared on her cheeks. I was just glad to see Emmett in a good mood again, especially when Alice piped up.

"Yeah, I am going to spend the night at Jasper's tonight."

Emmett frowned and looked at me and Bella. I raised my hands towards him.

"Don't look at us; we plan on staying in tonight." Okay, maybe that was a little smart-ass of me, but I was tired of holding back. Emmett was not amused, but Rosalie started pushing him towards the stairs. "Come on lover…we need to get our overnight bags and head out." They had almost gotten through the doorway when he turned back to face me.

"Maybe you should take it easy tonight, man." I stared at him….Bella stared at him…even Alice and Jasper looked a little uncomfortable. Rosalie smacked him on the arm and gave him a dirty look. He blinked down at her, "What?" After a moment the light bulb went on. "Shit, I meant take it easy with your ankle. Jesus!" I won't lie; his cheeks turned a little pink. Not as pink as Bella's, but it was there all the same.

After everyone left, I grabbed a couple of waters out of the fridge and shut off all the lights. I winced a little walking up the stairs, but the pain was barely there otherwise. I was really lucky I didn't fuck up my ankle any worse than it was. Emmett and I agreed not to tell any of the girls about what happened. I didn't want to upset Bella and God knows what crazy shit Alice and Rosalie would cook up in revenge. I would have told Jasper, but honestly he would have blabbed it to Alice without even meaning to. The guy was whipped…but I wasn't one to be pointing fingers.

I gently pushed open Bella's door, but the room was empty except for a snoring Jake. I leaned back to look at the bathroom. Lights off…empty. I narrowed my eyes in confusion for a moment and then I heard the music start.

_**Josh Kelley "Tidal Wave"**_

There was a soft light coming from underneath my door. It wasn't fully closed and it opened quietly when I pushed on it. I felt my heart trip as my bed came into view.

Bella was laying back on top of the covers, propped up on her elbows. Her jersey shirt rose up high, exposing a lot of her mid-section to my hungry eyes. The only light in the room was a small desk lamp and the music was at a soft level. Alice must have attacked her hair again because it fell in long dark curls around her shoulders and on the bed behind her. The soft smile on her face was innocence wrapped in seduction. I was by the bedside before I even realized I had taken a step.

Bella moved over to make room for me and patted the bed. "You need to get off that foot, Mr. Cullen." I stretched out beside her, turned on my side so I could drink in every inch of her. I smirked up into her dark eyes. "Should I call you Dr. Swan now?" She grinned at me, "Maybe another night." _Oh…hell yes._

I watched her move down to my feet, her small fingers going to work on my shoe laces. She was so very gentle with my injured ankle. I almost laughed at the intense concentration she was giving her task. I should have told her that it didn't really even hurt anymore, but I bit my cheek and let her continue to pamper me.

When both of my shoes and socks were tossed to the floor, she propped my foot in her lap. Before I could protest she began to rub small circles into the arch of my foot. I moaned and let my head fall back. Her fingers worked magic on my muscles as they moved around to the ball and heel and finally around the slightly swollen ankle. I probably could have fallen asleep if it had been anyone else, but since it was Bella's small hands working on my bare skin I was quickly becoming achingly hard. All she was doing was touching my foot, and yet it still sent shockwaves up my entire body.

When she stopped I lifted my head to look at her and caught her flexing her fingers before she could hide it. I sat up and reached for her hands and brought them to my lips, kissing each finger and rubbing them gently with mine.

"Thank you," I murmured against her knuckles. She flushed and smiled, looking at me through her dark lashes. "Does your ankle feel better?"

"Much." She didn't need to know that it wasn't feeling too bad to start with.

I moved my kisses up her arm, keeping my eyes on hers the entire time. The closer I got to her shoulder the faster her breathing became. I bit lightly through the jersey material, marking her through the shirt. When I reached the bare skin of her neck, I kissed her lightly and growled in her ear, "I know I've said it before, but having my name on your jersey is the sexiest thing I have ever seen."

When Bella spoke, it came out breathless. "You…you aren't mad that I surprised you with it….at the pep-rally?" I pulled back and smiled to see her eyes shut and her lips parted. I moved until my mouth was pressed against hers, "You can surprise me like that any time you want. I love your surprises." Then I slipped my tongue past her lips. She whimpered and grabbed at me with shaky hands, clutching me desperately as she deepened my teasing kiss. I delved my hands into that riot of curls and held her tight to me. When I felt her start rocking against me I yanked back. Her lips were swollen and red and her eyes were almost closed. I felt my breath coming in pants and something inside me snapped. I grabbed her shoulders and quickly pushed her on the bed. Bella gasped and put her hands out to the sides to steady herself. I took that opportunity to circle her wrists with my hands, pressing them into the bed and trapping them at her sides.

I loomed over her, looking at her possessively, burning my mind with the image of her on my bed with my jersey on. As much as I loved that shirt on her, I wanted it off even more. I kept a hold of her hands as I lowered myself down until I was eye-level with her belly button. _How the hell can a belly-button be so damn sexy?_ When I dipped the tip of my tongue into it, she gasped and arched up to my mouth. I looked up at her and she was biting her lip, watching me. I kept my gaze locked on hers as I gave her exposed stomach open-mouthed kisses, tasting her flesh. Her muscles quivered underneath my attack. I reached the edge of her undershirt which stopped not far beneath her breasts. Her chest was rising up and down with her heavy breathing. The sight was too much to resist. I moved up and covered one of her peaks with my mouth, sucking and nipping her through the jersey. Her gasps turned into whimpers and I felt her hands pulled against mine. I released her but before she could reach for me I pushed my hands under both layers of shirts and started to pull them over her. She sat up enough to help me take them off as well as her black lace bra. I took a second to wish I could spend more time with that particular article of clothing, but then I wondered whether her panties matched.

Bella lay back down and I moved to pull down her track pants. Yes, the panties matched and I fucking moaned at the sight of her in nothing but black lace. I saw the blush creeping up her chest and neck and I knew it took a lot for her not to cover herself as I blatantly stared at her. Fair is fair. I stood up next to the bed and shed my clothes probably quicker than was sexy, but I was too impatient tonight. When I kneeled back onto the bed Bella automatically opened her legs for me. I lay over her like I was made to fit the curves of her body. Almost every inch of our bodies were touching and all the feelings were centered on my cock pressed against her wet, lacy panties. I could feel her heat against me and I throbbed almost painfully. Bella squirmed underneath me and it caused her to rub against my arousal in a torturous way. I groaned and tried to distract myself by bending my head and latching onto a hard nipple. She was so aroused…so ready for me. I could feel her wetness soaking through the lace and I thrust against her instinctively. I moved so that my tip was pressed against the fabric at her entrance and then I rocked my pelvis forward. If not for her sexy panties, I would have thrust into her. Bella cried out and bit down on my shoulder and I hissed, not in pain but pleasure. Her hands fluttered over my back and shoulders and her hips moved against me frantically. I pushed against her again and again, my wetness combining with her own. When her breathing became erratic I reached down and searched for her clit through her panties. I rubbed tight circles on her throbbing nub and nibbled on the shell of her ear. "Let it out, Bella. We are alone…come for me." Whether it was the extra friction or the words that I spoke, she was sent over the edge almost before I was done speaking.

She shrieked and sobbed and dug her fingers into my back as she came. I felt her legs shaking against my sides as she rode down from her high and lay back weakly on my bed. _I made her come…on MY bed. _My long-time fantasy just came true.

I kissed trails along her collar bones as she calmed down. At the same time, we both reached for her soaked panties, desperately pulling them down her legs. I leaned over and reached for the night stand but her hands tugged on my arm.

"No, we don't have to worry about that."

I looked down at her, confused. "What? Are you sure?" She bit her lip and flushed, glancing away for a second. "I actually have been on the pill for a month, but the doctor recommended using a condom for a few weeks until the birth control had time to kick in."

I blinked stupidly down at her. _Sex with Bella…no condom….oh Sweet Jesus._

When my lust-addled brain kicked in I smiled stupidly down at her. "As long as you are sure…"

"I'm sure…very sure." She told me, cupping my face in her hands and bringing me down to her lips. I showed her how appreciative I was at the news and eagerly returned her kiss. One of her hands left my face and wrapped around my throbbing cock. I moaned into her mouth and thrust into her hand, still wet from our combined arousal. When she spoke she didn't take her lips off mine. "I want you…now."

I didn't have to be told twice. I moved down just a little until I felt my tip at her entrance again. Her body was burning hot against my arousal, so much different from when we used the condom. I wonder if it felt differently for her. I was prepared to go slow and savor the feeling of sliding inch by inch into her, but Bella wasn't having any of that. She wrapped her legs around my waist and lifted her hips up, pulling me deep inside that wonderful heat. I cursed…I moaned…I probably whimpered a little. I heard soft sounds of pleasure coming from the angel below me and I couldn't hold still any longer.

The feeling of sliding in and out of her with my bare flesh was incredible. At that moment, I hoped I never saw a condom again. She felt hotter, wetter, tighter. She met each of my thrusts and squeezed my waist with her legs. My lips never left hers. I nibbled on her swollen bottom lip and sucked on it as her tongue ran over my top lip. When I latched my mouth over hers, she thrust her tongue inside my mouth with the same rhythm as I was moving inside her body. I growled and reached down with one hand to cup her bottom, pulling her hard against me with each thrust. Bella cried out against my lips and bit down on my lower lip. I growled again and pounded in her, harder and harder. I pulled back and moved to her neck. She tilted her head to the side and I sucked on her sensitive skin. The harder I thrust, the louder she got. The louder she got, the closer I got to coming. The more I thought about coming, the more I realized I would be coming inside her with no condom. That threw me over the edge.

I lay my head on her chest. "Fuck…Bella, I'm going to come." I could hardly breathe at that point and Bella didn't answer me. I started to reach for her clit again but all the sudden she cried out and rocked unevenly against me. Her shouts echoed in my small room and her whole body shook beneath me. I felt her walls clench around me and pumping me like a fist. I shouted loudly against her skin and thrust into her a couple more times, burying myself as deep as I could. I felt my whole body tighten as I poured myself into her. Bella was still writhing against me as I twitched and spasmed inside her. I had never felt anything like it. For one second, I thought this is what death must feel like. The body shuts down and your mind fades to black. If that was death, then heaven was coming alive in the arms of my angel. I had my face pressed to her breasts, panting as heavily as she was. I'm sure I was too heavy for her, but she had her hands against my back, pressing me close to her shaking body. I was still inside her, twitching and throbbing. Every now and then, Bella would make small thrusting movements, extending my pleasure for several minutes.

When I could summon up enough energy to move, I pulled myself up onto my elbows to look down on her. Bella's eyes were closed and her face was smooth and relaxed. I kissed each of her eyelids and watched as her lips curved into a satisfied smile. I nuzzled her cheek. "Did I hurt you? I wasn't too rough was I?" I was so afraid of losing control with her, of overstepping her line of comfort.

Bella's eyes shot open and her smile turned into a lazy grin. "No…was _I_ too rough?" I chuckled and gave her a soft kiss. "I think I will survive."

Somehow I rolled off of her, only moaning a little when I had to pull out of her. I should go get something to clean her up after all that mess, but that would have to wait until I got feeling back in my legs. I looked at our hands as our fingers intertwined; my large hand swamping her small, delicate one. Her voice cut through the silence.

"Will you really be able to play in the next game?"

I turned my head to look at her and smiled reassuringly. "Yeah, don't worry. The next game is not for a couple of weeks and the coaches say I should be good as new by then."

Bella wrinkled her nose. "Good, because your replacement sucks." I laughed at her understatement. My mind started wandering, thinking about the upcoming game. "Are you girls coming with us to the next game?" Bella shook her head.

"The cheerleaders are supposed to have the next away game, so the dance team has to stay behind."

I was depressed by that thought, for more than one reason. It was bad enough being away from Bella and not getting to see my favorite half-time show, but to put up with the Cheerleaders embarrassing the shit out of us on someone else's turf just plain sucks.

"I wish we could come with you," Bella said, playing with a strand of my hair. I knew that none of them could afford to travel so soon after the holidays.

"It's only for a couple of nights." I thought about the date of the game in my head. "When we get back, would you like to go to Volt again with me?"

Bella slowly smiled. "Are you going to play?" I nodded and she looked at me with excitement. "What song are you going to play?"

I shook my head and ran a finger along her jaw. "It's a surprise."

Although the pout she gave me was almost irresistible, I managed to keep my lips sealed…figuratively. I _literally_ leaned over to run my tongue over that pouting lower lip of hers, causing her to turn over towards me and move her hands to clutch the hair on the back of my head. I smiled into her lips, her eagerness becoming contagious. This night was exactly what we needed and I made a mental note to thank the other girls for setting this up for us. Hearing Bella yell in utter pleasure made my whole body burn.

I was pleased that Bella was becoming more outgoing and comfortable with her sexuality, but if she ever knew what power she had over me….I would be in serious trouble.

**So I finally got something down…I know it's been forever. Just FYI, I stay up super late after work to get as much written as possible before I fall asleep.** **I am seriously trying my best to stay motivated with this story because there is some cool drama coming up, but it's getting hard. I will finish this story no matter what, but just please be patient and give me encouragement and I will update ASAP I promise!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay so there was very little response from the last chapter so I guess it was as crappy as I kinda thought it was. Hopefully this one is better!**

**Watch the Jesse James video (link on my profile). She is wearing an outfit I pictured for the girls routine for Emmett's birthday. Remember that one?**

**Oh, and if you heard screaming Sunday night echoing across NC….ummm, yeah that was me. I think my computer might blow up if I can't stop replaying the trailer!**

**Disclaimer: I own very little….including time to write.**

_**Chapter 22**_

_**Jesse James- "Wanted"**_

_**B**_

I sighed as the warmth of my hot chocolate slid down my throat. My feet were propped up on the coffee table, covered in bright fuzzy socks and my favorite blanket was wrapped around me. The only thing that was missing was Edward's arms. He and Emmett had been gone for two days and wouldn't be back until tomorrow afternoon. They were only allowed a few moments to talk to us, but we watched the game on ESPN. Edward's ankle was healed and he played beautifully. The cheerleaders were so awful we changed the channel during half time.

Even though my life felt noticeably empty, I was having a wonderful time. Don't get me wrong; I miss him like crazy, but I have the world's best friends. Rose and Alice were on either side of me decked out in silly pajamas, snuggling close and sniffling quietly. We were watching the Notebook….again. Any time we had a girls' movie night, we busted out the good ol' tearjerkers. Before I met Edward, I would sniffle along with them and feel the bitter-sweetness that you were supposed to feel with the story, but now I was almost outright bawling.

Alice handed me yet another tissue and I swiped at me eyes before taking another sip of cocoa. Rose turned her head to me as the movie ended. I tried not to laugh at the freaky green face mask she had pasted on her skin. "Jeez Bella, you'd think you have never seen this movie before." I laughed through my girly tears and shrugged. "I guess in a way, I am seeing it for the first time." I blushed as I looked between my friends. "You are going to think I am so corny, but I never realized how...intense love could be. I thought that the movies were so unrealistic, but…"

Alice, hair covered in a bright pink bandana, leaned in and rested her head on my shoulder. "But now that _you_ are in love, you finally get what all the hype was about."

Rose sighed and crossed her feet on the table. Her neon green furry slippers bobbed at her movements. "And I guess we haven't been the best examples of how loving someone can really be."

I narrowed my eyes and cocked my head at her, feeling the rollers in my hair shift on my head. "What are you talking about? You are totally in love with Emmett." I shifted to Alice, "And you and Jasper are so made for each other it's freaky."

Rose patted my knee. "Of course I love Emmett, but anyone outside this house probably couldn't tell that we even _like_ each other. I mean, we yell at each other just as much as we get naked and…"

"And," Alice interrupted, "we all know how reserved you are at showing affection…to anyone." Rose shrugged and nodded in agreement before Alice continued. "As for me, I bounced around from guy to guy thinking that he could finally be the one I have been waiting for. I made love seem like a casual emotion."

"Until you met Jasper," I supplemented. Alice sighed and leaned her head back on the couch. "Yeah, until I met Jasper."

I thought quietly to myself for a moment. They both were right. Rose and Emmett's relationship was volatile, explosive. They loved and fought passionately, and they are perfect for each other. Alice and Jasper were more obvious in their love. They met, and it was like two puzzle pieces coming together. They fit like they were made for each other, like they had always been together. I chewed my lip and thought about Edward.

"How did you guys know that you were in love? Was it obvious right off the bat?" They were very loud when they answered at the same time.

"Yes!" Alice squealed excitedly.

"No!" Rosalie scoffed.

Alice folded her feet underneath her. "With Jasper, it was like I was just waiting for him to appear in my life, and once he did everything just clicked. I knew he was the one I had been looking for, there was never a doubt." The dreamy look on her face made me smile and shake my head.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "It took months of Emmett's persistence to convince me he was going to be a permanent part of my life. Now I couldn't imagine what the hell I would do without him." I could remember those many months. Alice and I both knew long before Rosalie that Emmett was perfect for her.

Alice tucked a loose lock of my hair back into its curler. "What about you and Edward? Did you know right away that you loved him?"

I laughed at her question. "What? You mean when he knocked me on my rear and treated me like dirt? Or how about when I called him a creep and told him to get a life?" The girls joined me in laughter, our antics causing Jake to lift up his head and whine at us from the floor.

I wiped my eyes and stared down at the warm mug in my hands. "I am not sure when I fell in love with him. It was just suddenly….there. I knew there was something unique about him, but I never thought we would be where we are today." I thought about how to define our relationship. Edward and I were more reserved, more private with our love. We both had reason enough to be cautious, but once we both confessed to each other…and ourselves…that we were in love it became all-consuming. It was like a light switch had turned on. Maybe we have been waiting all of our lives for each other like Jasper and Alice…maybe we loved as passionately as Emmett and Rosalie. I smiled at my waiting friends. "All I know is that for me, it's Edward….forever. My life started the day I fell in love with him…whatever day that may have been."

Alice sniffled a little and Rose cleared her throat, covering her sappy emotions. "I bet you are glad to have it out in the open finally."

I blew out my breath and chuckled. "Glad is an understatement. Emmett handled it a lot better that I thought he would." Alice snorted delicately, "Just wait until you guys start having sex…then the real freak out will begin."

I felt my face catch on fire and I ducked my head down, wishing my hair would cover my guilty face. After several beats of silence, Alice craned her head down to stare directly into my eyes. Her own dark eyes were wide with shock, mouth hanging open and her bowl of popcorn fell unnoticed by her to the floor. Jake let out a happy yip and low-crawled over to her feet, gladly cleaning up the spilled treats.

"Isabella Marie Swan! You….no way….did you?" Her stuttering would have been funny if it wasn't about my sex life. I shifted uncomfortably and gave her a guilty smile. She covered her mouth with her hands and squealed, getting it all out before grabbing onto my hands and bouncing up and down excitedly. "When did this happen? How was it? Is he as awesome in bed as I think he is? Tell us everything!" She didn't take a breath before turning to give Rose an exasperated look. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

Rose shrugged and picked absently at her nails. "I've known for a while. And I am pretty sure Emmett knows too but is in some weird sort of denial." Alice and I shrieked at the same time.

"What! He knows?"

"How come you know first?"

Rose gave me a huge grin. "You, missy, are not as quiet as you think you are." While I drowned in embarrassment she leaned around me to grin at Alice. "I am surprised you didn't 'know' anything about this already," using air quotes with her fingers.

Alice sat back shaking her head and looking confused. "I didn't see this coming at all, at least not so soon." She looked up at my face, which was still engulfed in a miserable flush. "Why Miss Bella, are you a Closet Freak?" Rosalie laughed and I folded my arms across my chest and huffed angrily. "No!" I thought about it for a moment. "Wait…am I?" I honestly wasn't sure in that moment.

Alice grinned at Rosalie. "Care to take that one?" Rosalie shot her an indignant look. "Why the hell am I the expert?" Alice and I both looked at her with eyebrows raised. She rolled her eyes and turned her body to face us. "Fine, point taken. Okay Bella, let's go over a little list."

Aw hell, this was going to be uncomfortable. But a small part of me was thrilled to be able to join in the girly conversations I had long been ignorant about.

Rose straightened her back and flicked her long blonde ponytail over her shoulder. "We will start off easy. We know you aren't a virgin anymore." It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyways. I was just assuming at that point that the flush on my face was permanent. _ Great._

"Alright, when was your first time?" I told her it was New Year's Eve and Alice groaned. "How the hell could I have not known? This sucks!" I looked at her, "Alice, I thought you knew when you oh-so-discreetly made sure we had the house to ourselves last week." My short-haired friend just rolled her eyes. "I was trying to give you some privacy, but I didn't know you needed _that_ much privacy!"

"Speaking of sucks, that brings me to my next question. Have you both given and received oral sex?" Rosalie didn't even flinch as she asked me the most embarrassing questions I had even been subjected to. I nodded meekly and she narrowed her eyes at me. "How many orgasms have you had with him?" I let out an exasperated sigh and waved my hands in frustration. "How the hell am I supposed to remember exactly how many, Rose?" She grinned at me. "You lost count?" I bit my lip and nodded, smiling despite myself. Alice nudged my knee with hers. "Nice!" I slapped the hand she held out for me, my discomfort slowly leaking away. I folded my own legs underneath me and waited for Rosalie's next questions.

She asked various things, none of which were exactly easy for me to answer. What positions have we done, anywhere other than the bedroom, were there any toys, costumes, etc used in the bedroom. I tried to be as vague as possible. I liked being able to share things with my girls, but what Edward and I did was something I wanted to keep as private as possible. Finally, Rosalie settled back on the couch with a smug smile.

"The verdict is: you are definitely a Closet Freak." I dropped my mouth open, not sure if I should be outraged or complemented. Alice piped in her own analysis. "But here is the thing: you two waited a good amount of time before you initiated anything, you have steered clear of anything too freaky," she shot a sly look at me, "…yet. And it sounds like Mr. Star-quarterback is making sure you are _fully_ satisfied in the bedroom department. So all-in-all, you are totally clear of being considered a skank and/or nymphomaniac."

Well…that's a relief. Although sometimes I wasn't so sure about the whole nympho thing.

They both put their arms around me to surround me in a warm hug. "We are so happy for you Bella," Alice told me. Rose kissed my temple. "You have no idea how glad we are that you have joined the rest of us Closet Freaks!"

We all laughed and hugged and the rest of our movie night was spent talking. I mostly listened, rarely volunteering my two-cents, but it was such a fun night…a normal girls' night that I have been looking forward to for so long and thought I would never be able to enjoy.

_**E**_

I was seriously hating life right now.

The high I got from us winning the game was wearing off quickly. Since the game finished up so late it was decided that the team would be waiting until tomorrow morning to drive back home. I was fucking irritated to say the least. Not only was I being deprived of some congratulatory sex with my amazing girlfriend, but I was stuck in a cramped hotel room with Emmett. I don't know whether the tension in the room was due to our combined irritation of being sexually frustrated or his lingering resentment of my relationship with Bella.

Either fucking way, I felt like I was about to snap.

Emmett was lying back on his bed, throwing his cell phone towards the ceiling and catching it again. The TV was on, but neither of us cared particularly for what was playing. We both had talked to our girls earlier, so I knew he wasn't expecting a call. That meant that the cell phone was just a toy right now. Every time it was tossed in the air I fantasized about it dropping on his head and shattering.

I was lying on my own bed, arms folded and staring unseeing at the TV. I was mentally calculating the exact number of minutes it would be before we left when Emmett let out a sigh.

"Dude….I'm so fucking bored right now it's not even funny."

I slowly turned my head towards him, eyebrows raised. "No shit?" My sarcastic tone didn't even faze him. He finally…_finally_ put down that damn cell phone and hopped off the bed. "Let's go to the pool."

I didn't have to look at the clock. I was painfully aware at what time it was. "It's almost one in the morning." Emmett shrugged. "Come on man, it will kill time. You got something better to do? Other than count down the hours until you see Bella again, that is." I was both annoyed and relieved to see a teasing grin on his face. Sure beats the stank-eye I had been receiving the past few weeks.

I rolled my eyes and pushed off the side of my bed. "Minutes, actually. And you have a damn good point. Let's go kill some time." Emmett slapped my back…hard. Strangely enough, I had missed that friendly gesture from him. "Atta' boy! Besides, I am pretty sure the hot tub is open twenty-four/seven in this joint." I nearly wept with the thought of the warm water working on my tired muscles. Emmett was right, this would kill some time, but every minute closer to Bella would still be counting down in my mind.

*********************

When we arrived down in the pool and workout area, it was surprising busy. It seems like we weren't the only restless ones in the hotel. Mixed among my rowdy teammates were various scantily clad cheerleaders. They had to room on the other side of the hotel from us, but common areas were apparently free game. Emmett dumped his towel and pushed past me to cannonball in the middle of a bunch of people. I grinned at the shouts and squeals that ensued.

The water was perfect, not too cold but cool enough to be refreshing. I ducked my head under briefly, shaking the water from my face as I surfaced. I greeted a couple of guys and tried my best to completely ignore the girls. I really didn't give a shit if they thought I was an asshole or not. Any guy stupid enough to mess around with the most embarrassing girls on campus could just deal with my attitude. Most of the guys were smart enough to stay away, but a few were just horny enough to look past anything but their tits.

I reached the roped off lanes at the other end of the pool and started doing laps up and down the decent sized pool. The quiet of the water and feel of my muscles stretching relaxed me immensely. My mind cleared of everything but all the good shit that had happened since I came to Washington. Forefront of those memories was Bella. I haven't been one to think about the future, at least until recently. Lately I have allowed myself to plan and hope for things. Every scenario involved her in my life. I had several different options floating around, but one fact remained the same:

_Well, I could switch my major back to pre-med and wherever Bella decides to go for graduate school I could make sure to go to medical school nearby._

Or:

_If I decided to not follow a career in medicine, I could compose music and sell it to help support us while she writes her best-selling novel._

And my personal favorite:

_After being drafted into the NFL, Bella and I could get married somewhere tropical, maybe at my parent's vacation home. We could invite Seth and of course our roommates…_

…..I spit and choked on a mouthful of water and stopped to grab hold of the wall while I regained my breath. _Marriage? _I had never really thought about it. Okay, that's a lie. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that we would be together for the rest of our forever, but to actually imagine a wedding….it put everything in perspective. It didn't matter which path I chose….she became my future when I fell in love with her. I felt an excited rush flow through me and I grinned to myself. _How the hell did I ever get so lucky?_

"Edward! Get your goofy-grinning ass over here!" I glanced over and shot Emmett the bird. He just jerked his thumb at the currently unoccupied hot tub. I was surprised to see that a lot of people had cleared out while I had been swimming, there were just a few stragglers left behind.

I joined Emmett at the hot tub and we both groaned as we eased into the bubbling water. I leaned my head back on the edge and closed my eyes. We both had gotten knocked around a lot tonight and would definitely be feeling stiff and sore in the morning. For once, Emmett was blessedly quiet. That's how I was able to hear footsteps over the jets. I felt the water stir even more around me as someone sat down in the water next to me.

I creaked one eye open and immediately wished I hadn't. Jessica fucking Stanley was giving me what I am sure she thought was a sexy smile. The water came to just above her breasts…which were obviously not covered by anything but bubbles.

_What. The. Fuck._

"Hi Edward," she purred at me. Emmett's head popped up and looked over at her. His face pulled into a disgusted grimace as he realized her lack of attire.

"What the fuck?" he voiced my thoughts.

Jessica gave him a hateful glare before smoothing her face into a smile…just for me. _Oh, joy._

"What do you want?" I growled out at her, laying my head back and closing my eyes, hoping she would get the point. She didn't.

She leaned in closer to me, so close I could now feel her skin pressed against my arm. I mentally gave subtlety the middle finger and shifted away from her. She made a frustrated little huff, but a moment later I felt her walking her fingers up my arm. "Aww don't be like that Edward." I was really starting to get fucking angry and I opened my eyes again to give her my best "go to hell" look. Over her shoulder I saw her partner in crime, Lauren what's-her-face. The other member of the skank squad had her camera phone out and was fiddling with the buttons, obviously trying her best to get a picture of Jessica's frequently-used body pressed up against mine. I shot up out of the water and stomped out of the hot tub, ignoring her protests and walking past a stuttering Lauren. She turned to her friend as I passed, "Sorry Jessie! I couldn't figure out which button to push…" I didn't hear the rest as I roughly grabbed my towel and stormed back up to the room.

After taking a quick shower, I walked back into the room to see Emmett lounging on the small sofa, wrapped in his towel. He turned from the TV and regarded me. "Hey man, you cool?" I ran a hand through my damp hair and tried hard not to go up and punch a wall or something. "Yeah….I just really fucking hate cheerleaders." Emmett snorted and nodded. "That's because you have good sense. Stanley tries to pull shit like that all the time. She tried to get me in trouble with Rose once. One of the guys paid her to get me alone and in a compromising position in order to break us up and move in on my girl." He grinned up at me, "That was before I informed her of Rose's history of violent behavior. So don't sweat it, man. I will stick up for you if shit comes back to Bella."

I sighed and sat on the end of my bed. "It's not just that, although that stuff is pretty fucked up." I looked at my feet as I spoke to him.

"Some of the shit I got mixed up in back in Maryland wasn't my fault. I will admit that I did things that I shouldn't have and I pretty much deserved to be expelled. But other things," I paused and looked straight at Emmett, "some things I got blamed for that I had nothing to do with. I got fucked over by a friend, another football player….and his dumbass cheerleader girlfriend." The only other person I had told this to was Jasper, and I knew that he believed me. But Emmett has only known me for a short while, so I wouldn't blame him if he didn't totally buy my sob story.

Emmett rubbed the back of his neck. "That….that really sucks, man. I won't pretend to know what the hell really happened with you, but I know that no matter how close a team seems to be, there are always some guys you can't depend on." He held up his finger, "For example, take Newton. He can't be trusted with shit…..not before and sure as hell not now."

I agreed with him. He was an obvious person to look out for, but I didn't consider him to be a real threat. Just the same…I think I will keep my equipment with me from now on.

Emmett changed out of his swim trunks and jumped onto his bed, grabbing for the remote. "Now…shall we see about ordering some porn?"

"And that's my cue to go to sleep…..quickly." Emmett's laughter rolled through the room as I turned away from him.

_Approximately six hundred and seventy two minutes until I see Bella again…._

_**B**_

Alice fluffed out the curls falling around my head. She put my hair into large rollers the night before, so now my long hair was a mass of waves. "Edward is going to flip when he sees you."

I laughed at her reflection in the mirror. "Alice, we have only been apart for a couple of days." I watched her dig through her massive makeup case. She had her hair and makeup already done for her plans with Jasper this afternoon. It was obvious she wanted to give Rose and I some alone time with our guys. I was practically vibrating in my seat waiting for Edward to pull up in the driveway.

I was obediently turning my head this way and that when Rose joined us in the bathroom. "Just so you know, Emmett and I have no intention of leaving the house again, so you two will just have to suck it up and get over the noise." Alice rolled her eyes, "This is why I am getting the hell out of here."

"Rose?" I looked up at her when Alice released my face for a moment. "Do you really think Emmett knows…about me and Edward…you know…" I stammered in a most annoying way and felt even more embarrassed when Rosalie raised her perfectly arched brows. "Honey, if you can't say the word you shouldn't be doing the deed."

I rolled my eyes and Alice made a protesting noise, waving the magical mascara wand. Rosalie grabbed a shade of lip gloss and applied it to her own lips. "Emmett may be a little clueless sometimes, but if he hasn't already figured out that you two are having _sex_," she emphasized the word for my benefit, "then he will soon." She pressed her lips to smooth the gloss and then turned from the mirror. "The way you two look at each makes _me_ horny…guys pick up on that a lot quicker than women do."

Alice nodded her head sagely and I sighed. I don't know how I would ever enjoy sex in the house again knowing that everyone…everyone meaning my over-protective surrogate big brother… knew about it. I glanced at the clock and was pleasantly shocked to see that the makeover had taken a lot longer than I thought. Alice noticed what I was looking at and smirked, closing her makeup case. "And that's my cue to mosey on out of here." She checked her short, stylish hair one more time before grinning at us. "Jasper is taking me shopping in Seattle for the whole day…and maybe the night!"

I put a hand over my heart and feigned shock. "Alice Brandon! Are you saying you are planning on skipping class tomorrow….for shopping?" Rosalie snickered behind me and Alice stuck out her tongue. She sashayed from the bathroom, waving over her shoulder. "Don't wait up, ladies. Give the guys a smooch for me!"

Rosalie ushered me out of the bathroom. "See now, if we would have said that about Jasper, she would have clawed our eyes out. We are so totally the mature ones." She grinned evilly at me, "Want to go reorganize her closet while we wait?"

I laughed and bumped my shoulder against hers, careful not to muss either of our hairdos. _Yeah, totally mature._

A knock on the kitchen door had us pausing at Alice's room. Jake let out a soft bark and headed downstairs to investigate. I felt my heart speed up. "They are early!" I hoped my voice didn't sound as squeaky as I thought it did. Rosalie's eyes were narrowed in confusion. "Why in the hell would they knock?" I was trying to figure that one out too when we heard Jake's ferocious barking from the kitchen. I looked at Rose. "That's not them."

We both hurried downstairs and joined Jake in the kitchen. I pulled his collar to get him away from the door while Rosalie opened it. I heard her slip into her "bad-ass" voice. "What in the unholy fuck are you doing here?"

_**E**_

My foot was bouncing up and down uncontrollably as I sat in the familiar chair. Coach Meyers was blabbing on and on about some shit I really didn't care about in that moment. I could hear Emmett's impatient pacing outside his office while he waited for me. I told him I could walk back to the house, but he said something about not wanting to piss Bella off when he showed up without me and shoved me into Coach's office.

"Did you hear one damn word I just said?"

I glanced up at the irritated old guy in front of me. "Honestly? Nope."

Coach Meyers glared at me for a moment, and then sighed. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking trying to get you to pay attention to me while your head is seven and a half blocks away." He tried unsuccessfully to hide a grin. "I am glad you are fitting in so well, Cullen. Now get the hell out of here and we will discuss this mess at the next practice." I didn't wait for the words to finish coming out of his mouth before I was jumping from the chair and bursting out the door. I didn't break my stride and Emmett was quickly pacing me towards the Jeep. "What was that all about?" he questioned as we pulled out of the lot.

I shrugged, "I didn't really catch a lot of what he was saying so I will get to hear it all again at the next practice." He grinned at me in understanding.

It took just a few minutes to get back to the house. I was contemplating talking Bella into skipping class with me and spend the day in bed tomorrow. It felt like I had been gone two weeks and not two days.

When we pulled up to the house, Emmett once again formed the words that had popped into my head. "What the fuck?" I was jumping out of the Jeep before it even came to a complete stop. Over the loud arguing I heard Jake's snarling and barking coming from the house. Mike Newton was standing on the side porch next to the kitchen. He was nose to nose with an angry Rosalie, who was yelling threats about his manhood. My gaze quickly found Bella. She looked to be unharmed, but I really wished she would have stayed inside the house. She had her arms crossed over her midsection and was biting her lip. She saw Emmett and I approaching and the look of anxiety on her face made me want to kill that motherfucker for upsetting her.

I was fully prepared to tear this little shit apart. I was fully prepared to lose my place on the team. I was fully prepared to be expelled from the school…kicked out of the house…

I didn't have a chance to do shit, because that dumbass Mike Newton reached out and grabbed the hand Rosalie had pointed in his face. It took maybe two seconds for Emmett to step up and pull him away from Rosalie and slam him into the concrete…face first. As he pulled Newton's arm up behind his back and put a knee on him to hold him down, I jumped up the porch steps. I felt satisfaction at the cry of pain from the ass-hat on the ground and utter relief as I pulled Bella into my arms.

I held her head against my chest, smoothing a hand through her hair. Her little arms wrapped around my waist. "Are you alright?" I pulled away from her to look her over. "Did he hurt you?" She shook her head, looking more angry than upset now. "No, he didn't get a chance to even talk to me. I don't know why he is here."

I turned to look down at Emmett and Newton, not letting Bella leave my arms. "Emmett?" He looked up at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Apparently Don Juan here decided he needed to try one more time to talk to Bella." He dug his knee in harder and Newton groaned. "His second mistake was fucking laying a hand on my woman."

Bella pushed away from me….only as far as my arms would reach. No way in hell was she getting any farther than that. "Emmett, you need to let him go." He gave her an incredulous look. "What? Like a head-start kind of deal? Do I count to ten and _then_ go after him? I do love a good hunt." I think he was kidding….maybe.

Bella looked pleadingly at me. I knew where this was heading and I sighed in resignation. "Diplomatic Immunity, man." I turned to look at Emmett, who looked angrily at me. Rosalie hovered over the two guys, looking torn as to whether she should tear Emmett off Newton, or tear apart the douche bag herself.

After a few thundering heartbeats, Emmett shoved off Newton and stood up, pulling Rosalie to his side. I am pretty sure he was keeping her from doing any further damage. Newton shakily got to his feet and turned to glare at us. His face was scraped on one side and he was beet red. I would be too, if I just had my ass handed to me.

Emmett took one step towards him. "Do I need to even make another threat or are you getting the point?" Newton swallowed and glared at the both of us. "Cullen had it right…I can't be touched or you two will go down in flames." I opened my mouth to assure him that his immunity is starting to mean very little to me when Emmett took two more steps towards him, causing Newton to stagger back against his car.

"You think that means shit to me if you lay a hand on Rosalie again? Come anywhere _near_ my girls and I will shove that immunity up your ass along with my cleats."

Newton turned his angry eyes to me and Bella pulled in closer. "When you are gone, I will be right there to move in your place." He flicked his gaze over Bella. "And not just on the team."

_Oh…fuck that._ I took two steps in his direction and he wisely scrambled into his car, throwing it into reverse and barely missed our mailbox peeling out of the driveway. Emmett and I had to take a moment to calm down quietly, but Rosalie didn't bother. She slapped Emmett on the shoulder…hard. He grabbed his arm, "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

She put her hands on her hips. "_Your _woman? Seriously!" She poked him in the chest with her finger. "And what makes you think I needed you to protect me? Do you not think I can take care of myself?" I looked down at Bella, wondering is she was worried about Rose's reaction. She smirked at me, "Wait for it…"

A second later, Rosalie launched herself into Emmett's arms, wrapping her long legs around his waist and grabbing his head. He clutched her tightly, moaning into their enthusiastic kiss. Bella giggled next to me and I just shook my head. These two were unbelievable. When they took a break in their groping and tongue dancing, Rosalie smiled at Emmett. "Take _your_ woman to bed." Bella and I barely managed to jump out of their way as Emmett carried her into the house and up the stairs. Jake ran out the door and began sniffing around, looking for leftover Newton to chomp on. _Good dog_.

I turned my attention back to _my_ woman. I blinked, fully taking in her appearance. Her hair was amazing…all chocolate shiny waves spilling around her shoulders Her eyes had some makeup around them, making them seem even larger than normal. The black sweater she was wearing was cut so that her shoulders were bared. I am pretty sure my mouth was hanging open.

I traced a line from one of her bare shoulders, up along her neck and ending below her ear. I cupped her head gently, relishing in the feel of her silky hair. As I leaned in, her eyes got darker and her breathing got heavier. I kissed her cheek, rubbing my own against hers. "You are so indescribably beautiful." I felt her shiver against me and I smiled. _Home._

Bella's arms reached up to encircle my neck. Her breath was warm against my neck. "I missed you." She planted a sweet kiss against my neck, which had my knees suddenly weak. I pulled her back and fused my lips to hers, feeling like all was finally right with my world. Stress, anger, worry…all of it was gone the moment her tongue flicked against my lower lip. I groaned and grabbed her hips, pulling her lower body against mine and letting her know exactly how much I missed her.

When we broke to take a breath, I spoke in a broken voice. "We should get out of here." I wasn't sure where we would go, but wherever it was we would be very naked. Bella shook her head, "No…we should stay." I raised my eyebrows, "Emmett may be distracted for a little while, but eventually he will have to surface for air." She smiled and started to pull me into the house. "Emmett is a big boy. He will deal with it. I have put up with him and Rose for years. Now," she turned her head over her shoulder and gave me the sexiest damn look I have ever seen. "Take _your_ woman to bed."

**Setting up for some serious drama. I hope that the longer chapter makes up for the long wait. And I hope this chapter is better than the last…I don't want to disappoint you guys!**

**Now…back to watching the New Moon trailer….again. I think I might start putting money aside for all the movie tickets I will be buying this fall.**


	23. Chapter 23

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**Random stuff, but I have a list of stories I want to see win so go and put down who you think should win.**

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**Oh, if you think I take forever to update…I just got an alert for a story I had been reading that hasn't updated since NOVEMBER!!!! Sheesh**

**Song for this chapter: "Shaking" by Sugarcult (I pretty much just love the chorus, the song is not so much about BxE love but you'll get it when you hear it).**

**Chapter 23**

_**E**_

"Does that feel good?" I whispered into Bella's ear. I could feel the slickness of her skin as she writhed underneath me. I changed the angle of my thrusts and she gasped in response. I loved learning what drove her crazy…because pretty much everything she did to me threw me over the edge.

Bella's legs came up to hook around my waist, pulling my hips in more forcefully against her. I turned my lips away from hers and moved to bite the pillow beside her head. Her hands clenched on my back just as I lost all control, signaling she had also reached her release. I groaned into the pillow and she buried her cries into my neck, her body clenching mine spasmodically. It was a battle not to throw my head back and yell. We may be out in the open with our relationship, but there was no reason to rub it in Emmett's face.

When I could finally get my limbs to work again, I rolled over on my side, pulling Bella with me. She snuggled close to me, giggling slightly as I squeezed her extra hard. "I don't think I will ever get tired of that," she murmured into my chest. "Let's not be one of those couples that gets bored in the bedroom the longer they are together."

I scoffed at her request. "That is not remotely possible. I am going to be hot for you until the day I die. You are going to have to put up with me when I am old and wrinkly and lost all my skills."

"That's what they make Viagra for, right?" she teased. I looked down at her, scowling at her grin. She squealed loudly as I rolled on top of her and ran my fingers up and down her ribs. We were both laughing when a loud pounding sounded on the wall.

"Jesus Christ! Keep it down already!" Emmett's unhappy voice boomed through he walls. Bella and I looked at each other and started laughing even louder. This is how our days were now. I laughed at the dumbest damn things and had been busted more than once by Jazz for staring at nothing, grinning like a moron. That asshole couldn't say anything. He made me pull the car over on the highway so he could jump out and steal some red wildflowers for Alice…because it was her favorite color.

That reminded me; I needed to make sure the flowers I ordered for Bella would be arriving by tomorrow. _Yep…I got it bad_.

Tomorrow was the night I would play the next song I wrote for Bella. I had been practicing on the guitar she gave me for Christmas and the song that I was going to play pretty much encompassed all the feelings I have for her. I try to tell her every chance I get that I love her and that she changed my life, saved me…but it all seemed inadequate. Hence the song.

I also planned on telling Bella about my decision to switch my major back to medicine. I think reconciling with my parents, especially with my father, made me realize how much becoming a doctor means to me. Looking into the future for the first time in a long time made me realize that the path I was on didn't feel right. Now with Bella by my side and switching back to pre-med, I finally felt whole…like all was right with the world.

The very object of my internal ramblings pulled my face towards hers so she could kiss me. It was hot and full of desire, all tongues and lips and teeth. But it ended with softness and more caressing than actually kissing. Her eyes were dark with desire and satisfaction. It was one of my favorite expressions and I was pleased to know I caused it.

"I love you," she whispered up at me. I ran my fingers down from her temple to her chin, cupping her face gently. "I love you too." The words never got old, their meaning never fading. Bella saying she loved me right now made my stomach clench like it was the first time.

My life was finally on track. I was finally in a place where I felt like I was ready to let my parents back into my life. Since I was in such a good mood, I decided I would call them tomorrow and invite them up to the game on Saturday. They could meet Bella and we could all go out to dinner afterwards.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day…and I couldn't wait.

***************************

I whistled to myself as I jaunted down the stairs. My first class of the day didn't start for another few hours, but I knew Bella would be leaving soon for hers. I smelled bacon cooking and it wasn't a big surprise that everyone else had already beaten me to the kitchen. Rosalie and Emmett still looked half-asleep but Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap, talking a mile a minute. Jasper, the poor love-sick fool, was smiling up at her as she went on and on about the next dance routine or some shit.

My own eyes were locked on the brunette standing at the stove. Bella's back was to me and she was busy transferring bacon from a pan to a plate. Her hair was piled messily on top of her head, so I was able to plant my lips in one of my favorite spots on the back of her neck. She leaned back against me and my arms wrapped around her waist, squeezing her like I hadn't just left her bed a little while ago.

"Good morning gorgeous." I could see the blush crawling up the back of her neck and I grinned against her skin.

Emmett cleared his throat behind me. "Dude, lay off the PDA or we will never eat." A loud smack followed his grumblings and I knew Rosalie had reprimanded him properly. I reluctantly pulled away from her, still smiling. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I waited for the usual response she gave me, but was surprised when she sighed and pointed to a cutting board full of vegetables. "I am running kind of late so if you could dice up some peppers and onions for the omelets that would be great."

I heard Alice let out a sound of protest. "Bella? Why didn't you say that you needed an extra hand? We would have been happy to help you out." If I didn't know better, I would say Alice sounded a little hurt to be excluded. Bella looked over her shoulder at her friend and smiled. "In that case, can you get out the milk and juice and pour some for everyone?" Alice grinned and jumped up to do as Bella asked. I was already starting to dice a red pepper when Bella turned back towards me and winked. I laughed at her playfulness and then winced as I got nicked by the knife for being a love-struck dumbass and not paying attention. I dropped the knife and inspected the cut. It wasn't too deep but blood had already started welling up and oozing down my thumb. It stung from the pepper juice though so I stuck it under running water.

"Are you okay?" Bella's worried voice came from beside me. I smiled at her as I reached for a paper towel. "Yeah, its nothing…barely bleeding." I turned towards her and held out my thumb, trying to reassure her that I didn't need stitches are anything. "See?"

Just as the words flew out of my mouth Rosalie, Alice and Emmett jumped up and shrieked "Don't!" I frowned at them momentarily before turning to Bella. My reassuring smile faded when I took in the pallor of her skin. She was staring wide-eyed at my injured thumb and her face was unnaturally pale. She blinked once and didn't look at my eyes when she spoke. "You sure it's not too bad?"

I hastily wrapped a paper towel around my thumb, keeping my eyes on her. "Yeah, it's just a little cut. I'm fine." I flicked my eyes to our friends who were hovering on the edge of their seats, watching Bella closely. _What the hell is going on?_

Bella nodded slightly and blinked again. She managed to say "That's good" before her eyes rolled back and she crumpled to the floor.

"Shit!" I dove down to kneel near her. She was completely unconscious and a fine sheen of sweat had broken out on her translucent skin. I felt for her pulse. It seemed to be strong but fast. Someone kneeled down next to me…Alice. She took a folded towel and gently lifted Bella's head, placing it underneath her for a pillow. She sighed and held out her hand without looking up. Rosalie handed her a damp cloth. I looked between the two of them. "What the hell just happened?" I could hear the panic in my own voice, but really didn't give a shit right then.

Unfazed by the event that was sending me into a panic, Emmett propped his feet up on the vacant chair across from him. "Dude, she has this thing about blood. She faints anytime she even thinks she sees it."

Alice placed the damp rag on Bella's forehead. "Don't worry, she will be awake in a second." The casual tone of her voice confirmed what Emmett said about this being a regular occurrence. I, however, was not going to be able to relax until she was awake again.

Alice was right, after a few moments Bella's eyes started to flutter. "Bella?" I reached for her face, cupping it in my hands. Her color seemed to be getting better, or at least that's what I was telling myself. She blinked a few times before finding my face. She looked confused for a moment, but then saw Alice smiling down at her. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. "Again?" Alice and Rosalie laughed lightly. I didn't.

Alice patted her shoulder. "Did you hit your head?" Bella seemed to think about it for a moment. "I think so…feels like it anyways." I looked down at her eyes in concern, looking for uneven pupils. She saw the worry on my face and rolled her eyes, smiling lightly. "I don't have a concussion, just a headache." Alice pushed herself up off the floor. "I will hunt down some aspirin for you. Maybe you should stay there for a few more minutes." Bella nodded and left, with Jasper following right behind her of course.

I gently held the cool cloth on her head, moving a couple of stray strands of hair from her face. She was still smiling at me and now a blush began to form on her cheeks. Finally…I smiled. Seeing her face color like that made me feel unbelievably relieved. "You scared the shit out of me," I told her teasingly. She moved her hand to cover mine. "I'm sorry; I should have warned you about that. It happens all the time, but I am good now." She eyed my other hand warily. "But just in case, how about you keep that hand out of my line of sight?" I laughed and my muscles finally started to unclench. I felt for her pulse again, it was slow and steady. Bella smirked at my evaluating. "Making house calls, Dr. Cullen?"

Emmett choked on whatever he was drinking and Rosalie grabbed at his arm, trying to pull him out of the room before he was able to talk again. "We need to get ready for class," she called back over her shoulder as she pushed Emmett through the doorway. Bella's face flamed even brighter as she realized the double entendre of what she said.

I shifted so that I was no longer kneeling and held her hand in mine. "It's funny you should mention that." I was barely able to contain my grin. "I went to the Dean's office yesterday. I have switched my major back to pre-med." Bella's eyes got wide. "Are you serious?" I nodded and she struggled to sit up. I helped her up, watching for any signs of dizziness or pain. All I saw was her happy smile then she launched herself into my lap, peppering my face with kisses. I laughed and held her tight, cupping her wandering face with mine so that I could kiss her properly. Her legs were wrapped around my waist and I was becoming more aware of the position we were in…on the kitchen floor….with her roommates upstairs….

But the more intense our kiss became, the less I cared about anything but taking her were we sat. I did have a certain weakness when it came to that kitchen.

I reluctantly pulled back and Bella let out a soft curse. "Now I am really running late. Maybe we can skip today and celebrate?" She gave me a wide grin with an eyebrow waggle. I threw my head back and laughed loudly before gathering her close. "God I love you. You have no idea how bad I want to throw you over my shoulder and toss you back into bed, but I have some things to take care of today." I kissed her nose and tucked her hair behind her ear. "But tonight…you are mine." Her eyes darkened at my words and I groaned as I got us both to our feet.

Bella brushed off her pants and put her hair back in its messy bun. I gave her a serious look, "Are you sure you are okay? Maybe you should stay home today." She waved off my concern. "If I skipped classes every time I fainted I would be kicked out by now."

She seemed like she was okay, so I reluctantly gave her one more kiss before grabbing some bacon and heading out the door. I paused before the door shut as she called out my name. She had a sweet smile on her face and it made my heart trip over itself. "I am so happy for you, Edward. You are going to make a great doctor."

_Fuck it_.

I practically ran back into the kitchen and swept her up in my arms, swallowing her shriek with my mouth. I cupped her head with one hand and held her up with an arm around her waist. I kissed her until we both were panting for breath, and then I grinned at her and ran out the door…leaving her with a stunned look standing in the middle of the kitchen.

I had somewhere I needed during my lunch break today and then I was going to tell the world that I loved Bella Swan.

******************************

I threw my Volvo into park, almost taking out the mailbox in the process. I didn't bother locking the car…again. I was getting bad about dong that. I felt like I had been rushing since I left the house and now it was close to the time I told Bella we would be leaving for dinner. We were joining everyone else at Volt later, but Bella and I were leaving early to have a quiet dinner together. I just hoped her flowers arrived sometime before we left for the club. I could have just bought them and brought them home with me, but I was working on all that romantic surprise shit that girls seemed to like so much.

I ran into the house, jerking my sweatshirt over my head as I stumbled up the stairs. I blindly felt for my bedroom door, hearing Emmett laughing and calling me a loser as I passed his room. I answered with a middle finger somewhere in his direction. When I finally burst into my room I didn't bother turning on the overhead light as I grabbed for my dress shirt hanging off the closet door. A soft giggling from behind me had me pausing with only one arm through my shirtsleeve.

Bella was sitting on the edge of my bed, leaning back on her arms. I felt all the blood rush from my head as I absorbed her appearance. She was encased in a body-hugging red dress that ended just above her knees. Her tiny feet had strappy heels on them and her hair was flowing softly over her mostly bare shoulders. I blinked…and then suddenly I was standing next to her, no remembering taking that first step. I felt disjointed from my body as I reached out to touch her skin along her collar bone. I started to get some feeling back into my limbs by the time I reached her lips, which were painted a deep pink.

"Stunning…" I think I whispered. I hoped whatever I said came out coherently. Either way, she gave me a dazzling smile and kissed my trembling fingers. "I am partial to your clothing style." She eyed my bare chest with greedy eyes. I leaned down and carefully kissed her plump lips, mindful of all the work she put into her appearance. I all but melted as she sighed against me and her small, warm hands crept up my chest and then tangled into my already messy hair. _I wonder how bad she actually wants to go to dinner._

"Edward!" Emmett called. "Come down here, there is someone here to see you." I pulled back and smiled at the confused woman in my arms. Her flowers had probably arrived and I hastily buttoned up my shirt and took her hand. I held her hand as we made our way downstairs, smiling and stealing glances at each other. When we got down into the living room, we were almost blinded by the red and blue flashing lights coming from the windows. "What the hell?" I muttered to myself. Bella and I moved faster towards the kitchen.

All of our roommates and Jasper were in the kitchen. No one was sitting down. Two police officers were standing amongst them and all heads turned in our direction. I looked between my friends and the policemen. "What's going on?"

One of the officers walked purposefully towards me. "Edward Cullen?" I nodded hesitantly. Flashbacks of my arrest in Maryland flashed through my mind. My nightmare became reality once again as the officer fished out a pair of handcuffs. "You are under arrest…" he had to jerk my hand to separate mine and Bella's grasp.

"What!" The entire kitchen erupted in protest. Alice marched right up to the officer currently pulling my hands behind my back to secure the cuffs. "What the hell is this about? Who do you think you are…" Jasper had to come pull her back as the other policeman gave her a warning look. Rosalie had stepped up next to Bella, trying to put her arm around my girl's shoulders. Bella's eyes were wide with shock. "Why are you being arrested?" she whispered fearfully.

The officer holding onto me answered her question. "He is being arrested for vandalism of university property, breaking and entering, theft and possession of illegal substances." I jerked my head in his direction. "I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but you have the wrong guy."

The other policeman finally spoke up. "Is that your Volvo outside?"

I knew I was going to regret answering his question, but there was no way around it. "Yeah….so?" He answered by holding up a large bag full of things I was painfully familiar with from my past. There appeared to be enough drugs and drug paraphernalia in that bag to start my own street business. "We got a tip that these would be in your trunk and witnesses placed your vehicle at the crime scene around the time of the theft and vandalism." He dropped the bag to his side, giving me a cold look. "Add that to your arrest record and that's all we need."

I looked over at Jasper. "This is not me. That shit is over and done with." He knew how I was and he knew that I had changed since then. He still had his hands on Alice's shoulders. The little girl was looking like she still wanted to blast out the police officer holding onto my arms. Jasper nodded at me, trying to keep the situation calm. "I know, man…I know." I glanced behind him to Emmett. My roommate and teammate looked at me with disappointed eyes. I felt my stomach clench. "Em, I swear to God I am not into that shit anymore." He didn't say a word, didn't move a muscle…and that spoke volumes. I felt my stability crumble a little as he turned his back to me and walked out of the room.

Finally I turned to Bella, pulling against the cop who was trying to hustle me out the door. "Bella," I choked out her name. "You don't believe any of this, right?" I was so sure of her outright defense of me that her silence felt like a slap to the face. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She looked with wide, frightened eyes back and forth from me to my arresting officer. "I…" she hesitated…and that was all I needed.

I felt myself die inside, felt my body growing cold. I clenched my jaw and let all that I ever felt for her drain from my eyes. "You should have just let me stay the way I was and save yourself all this regret." I spat out at her. I knew she would be upset, but she would recover. She had Rosalie, Alice…and the ever-protective Emmett. He would tell her that he was right about me all along and the girls would hold her hand and tell her I wasn't worth all the tears. While she was mourning the loss of our relationship, I would be mourning the loss of my life.

I turned away from her and managed to ground out to the cop holding onto me, "Let's get this done." I was led out of the kitchen and into the cold night. Every step I took felt like stakes driving into what was left of my mending heart. I heard a sob behind me and knew that it was Bella. That sound would haunt me for the rest of time. I wasn't going to try to convince myself that it was worth it, that a few precious months with the love of my life was worth the pain I would feel forever. Nothing was worth this shit. I was done. Fuck them all, if I was going down, then I was going down for good. I learned my lesson. Whenever I got out of jail I was finished with second chances and trying again. I tried…and now I wish I had never set foot in this fucking state.

The door to the kitchen shut and cut off the sound of Bella's crying. I knew if I looked in the window I would see her clutched tightly to Rosalie and Alice. I knew her face would be flushed red and the tears would be making tracks down her face and soaking into that gorgeous red dress. I knew I would see her face full of anger and betrayal…..

So I looked straight ahead as the cruiser pulled out of the driveway and took me away from the only thing I gave a damn about.

**There you have it, major drama. Emmett is pissed, Jasper's got his boy's back but what the hell is with Bella? You will see! And just where was Edward today during that little crime spree??? hmmmm**

**Things can go good for only so long my friends, then I will throw some more angst to stir things up. There are only a few chapters left in my mind for this story so hold onto to something, 'cause its going to be a hell of a ride!**

**Don't forget about the Bellie awards! www (dot) the catt (dot) net**

**Review if you want to form a crew to bust Edward out of jail!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay I really didn't think I would have time to get this chapter to you before I went on my vacation but here it is! Its super short but I wanted to leave you guys with something. I was overwhelmed by the response from the last chapter and I am pleased to see that most of you want to join the "Free Angst-ward" jail-break team. We meet at midnight in the alley…I will be driving Alice's Porsche (stealthy, right?).**

**Song for this chapter"**

**Staind "Fray"**

****Also, this song comes recommended by a WONDERFUL reviewer Babycakes23:**

"**If I Gave You My Life" Justin Nozuka. She says it just fits this story.****

**Listen…love it.**

**Okay, enough AN. Enjoy…and ****don't forget about the Bellie awards www (dot) thecatt (dot) net. **

**I will see you guys in a few weeks! Happy Independence Day and take a moment to hug a veteran. (I can't wait to hug mine)**

**Disclaimer: I OWN this….idea, that is. Not Twilight.**

**Chapter 24**

_**B**_

_**Staind "Fray"**_

In some small, functioning part of my mind, I realized I was in some sort of shock. That part also told me that I was standing in the middle of the university's football field and it was completely dark…and very cold. I was still just wearing my red dress for the date that will never happen. I don't even remember taking that first step to get here.

There were other times in my relatively short life that could compare to how I felt right now. When my mother died, I was numb…completely blocking out all that was happening around me. I was in denial that my life was becoming unidentifiable. Later, after being taken from that nightmare of a foster home, I went into deeper shock. I didn't even speak until Alice pushed her way into my life. Even after that, I didn't come alive until the moment I fell in love with Edward….the man I swore I would stand by no matter what.

The feelings rushing through my shivering body were filled with nothing but pure horror…and it was horror at myself. My reaction to Edward's arrest would haunt me for the rest of life. I couldn't think about it without wanting to throw up or break down and cry again. How could I just stand there while the man I love was being taken away in handcuffs?

The cold night pressed down on me, drowning my skin and choking my soul. My feet may only be clad in thin strappy heels, but my heart was the coldest part of my body at that moment. I didn't see the empty stadium stands in front of me, I saw the harshness of Edward's eyes as he turned his back on me. It was the same way his eyes used to be, the same look that he gave me when we ran into each other for the first time. It was like that past few months never happened, and that all the love he said he felt for me didn't mean anything to him. I have never been on the receiving end of a look filled with so much hate.

I deserved every bit of that hate.

"Bella?" a small voice called out from somewhere behind me. I didn't turn around, I don't even think I blinked. Alice's footsteps were muffled as she approached me and I knew Rosalie was with her. "Jesus Bella, its freezing out here!" Rose admonished me and pulled open her long coat, wrapping as much of me as she could next to her tall frame. Alice stepped around to stand in front of me, clasping my hands in her own, trying to warm them. She moved so that her face was directly in my line of vision and I finally blinked. The tears that followed burned down my frozen cheeks.

"Oh, sweetie," she whispered, her voice full of pity. "I'm so sorry."

Rosalie squeezed my shoulders. "I wish this could have turned out differently for you Bella, really I do."

I tried to give them a reassuring smile, but it felt weird and I am sure it looked painful. When I didn't speak, Alice got a slightly fearful look on her face. "You'll be alright Bells. I know it doesn't seem like that now but someday you will be able to move past the pain." She kept glancing from me to Rose, and I suddenly realized that they were afraid I had gone mute again. I shook my head slowly, and when I spoke my throat felt like it had gravel in it.

"He will never forgive me."

Rosalie stiffened next to me. "Forgive _you?_ Bella, you did nothing wrong. It's _him_ that should be begging for your forgiveness. Seriously, you were just an innocent bystander on his little road trip to hell. I am just glad he didn't drag you down with him…"

Her voice had risen in anger, but it was me who stepped away and glared at the both of them. Where I had been cold before, I was now burning with rage. "You….you think he did it?" It came out as a harsh whisper, but they heard me. Rosalie's eyebrows rose and Alice winced. I laughed bitterly and started pacing back and forth in front of them, wobbling every now and then as my heels sunk into the turf.

"I can't _believe_ you guys would buy into that shit! All these months, all the things we have done together and you just disregard him because of some fucked-up bullshit charges?" My voice echoed across the open night. I was gesturing wildly with my hands while ranting and when I was done I stood facing them, my hands on my hips and my rapid breaths clouding in the cold air.

My roommates stared at me like they had never seen me before. It was several minutes before either one of them spoke. Alice took a timid step forward, looking even smaller tucked in her large red coat. "Bella, what happened back there…well, we thought you believed it. You didn't say anything, so we just thought something had been going on we didn't know about."

Her words cut me to the core. I had hesitated, and it had cost me everything worth living for. I leaned my head back and sniffled, trying to hold back the tears as waves of guilt swamped over me again. "Alice," I moaned. I felt her hand touch me hesitantly and I brought my head down to look at her. "I was shocked that this happened, and while I was standing there like a moron, not defending the man I love, I was debating on whether lying to a police officer would help things or make them worse." Rose came a little closer to us. "What the hell are you talking about? Lying to the cops?" I wiped angrily at my never-ending tears. "Edward was gone all day. I didn't see him between the times that I left for class and when he came home to pick me up for dinner. But when they accused Edward of doing all those things that I _know_ he didn't do, my first instinct was to lie and tell them he was with me most of the day." I looked at Alice with pleading eyes. "Your dad is a cop. For Christ's sake, I think of him as my own father. How could I lie to a cop and not go against everything he told us growing up?"

Rose shook her head and folded her arms. "So you really don't think Edward did all those things? Have you completely forgotten his colorful past or are you just in denial?" I glared at her.

"Today Edward told me he was accepted back into the pre-med program. He is the fucking star quarterback to a team that is going to a bowl game this year and he thinks of both of you like sisters! Does that sound like someone going out on a drug and vandalizing spree?"

I watched as my two best friends looked at each other, and I could see that my last point had hit them hard. Alice looked close to crying herself and Rose…well Rose doesn't cry but she looked abashed. Alice took both my hands in hers and gave me a serious look. "I don't think he did it either." I almost broke down as she pulled me in for a hug, but I kept my eyes on Rose's, waiting for her to say something. On one hand, I couldn't really hold it against her if she didn't think Edward was innocent, but I knew that our friendship would be forever changed if she didn't.

Rose let out a long sigh and finally wrapped her arms around both me and Alice. She kissed the top of my head and whispered, "If you believe in him, then I do too." I squeezed my eyes shut and sent up a silent thanks to whatever heavenly body may be listening. My girls had my back.

"What do we do now?" Alice asked, voice muffled by our tight embrace. I honestly didn't know how to answer her. I couldn't get my mind cleared of Edward's cold, hateful face as he looked at me for the last time. It was Rosalie who answered.

"We need to go talk to Emmett." I pulled back enough to look up at her in question. She released me and Alice and hooked arms with us, heading back to the tunnel entrance and hopefully a warm car. "Whatever is going on, he is the guy Edward spends most his time with other than Bella. If Edward has anything going on that he isn't telling us little ladies, Emmett will probably have heard something about it."

I looked over at Alice. "What about Jasper?" She gave me a small smile. "He believes Edward when he says he didn't do it. But he has no way to back that up because…well, he hasn't been hanging around him a whole lot lately." She looked sheepish and I almost laughed. Of course not, Jasper and Alice are attached at the hip.

We all rode back to the house in silence, wrapped up in our own thoughts. I didn't know how I was going to fix this, but I was going to try. Even if Edward never wanted to see me again, I had to make sure he got his life back. Its only fair…he gave me mine.

**********************************

There was only one light on when we got back. It wasn't a big surprise that Emmett was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting on us. I felt another tug in my chest as I remembered the last time he was waiting for me to come back from the football field at night…it was the night that Edward first opened up to me.

Emmett jerked his head up when we walked in. His face was unreadable as he swept his gaze over me. I waited in the entryway for a sign that he wasn't going to go off on a rant and say "I told you so". Out of all the people in this house, he was the most against Edward and I being together and warned me multiple times about his past. It also didn't escape my notice that he stormed out of the room when Edward was arrested. In my opinion, that was just as bad as me just standing there saying nothing, but given the circumstances I needed to hear what he had to say before I started passing judgment.

When he looked at me so long that I started squirming, he shifted his gaze to the left. I looked where he did and gasped at the gorgeous display of flowers on the kitchen counter. Emmett's normally booming voice was subdued. "They're for you."

I took heavy steps to reach the bouquet. The colors of the various flowers were almost blindingly bright. It was a cheerful, romantic ensemble of lilies, daisies, and snapdragons with a few roses tucked in between. A small card poked out from the middle of the flowers. With a trembling hand, I reached for the card. My name was written on the front of the envelope, Edward's elegant scrawl easily recognized. My friends respectfully kept their distance as I pulled out the card and had my heart ripped out again.

_I have told you that I loved you, that I am in love with you, but that doesn't come close to expressing how much I feel for you. No matter what happens from here on out, my heart is yours._

When my tears made it impossible to re-read it again, I leaned down on the counter, resting my head on the cool surface and spreading my arms out in front of me. I concentrated on taking slow, even breaths. I didn't even open my eyes as I spoke to Emmett…to the whole room…to myself.

"He didn't do it."

Silence met my declaration. I lifted my heavy head and turned to look over my shoulder at Emmett. I wasn't surprised to see Jasper had silently joined the rest of us in the kitchen, arm around Alice. Emmett had his chin resting on his clasped hands. He sighed and looked at the rest of the group. "And you all agree with her?"

Jasper nodded and Alice chirped up next to him. "I don't believe he did it, no."

Emmett looked at Rosalie, who was still standing close to me. She shrugged her shoulders. "I believe Bella." That was good enough for me, and apparently for Emmett. He leaned back in his chair.

"I don't know what to believe, Bells. His history speaks for itself, and this wouldn't be the first secret he has kept from me." I winced and looked at the floor, knowing he was referring to us keeping our relationship a secret from him.

"But," he continued, "He told me that some of that stuff he got in trouble for back in the day wasn't his fault." He looked over to Jasper. "Do you know anything about that?" I looked at Jasper as well, eager for any information that could help Edward. Jasper looked between Emmett and me, hesitating. He sighed and ran a hand through his mop of blonde hair, reminding me of Edward's nervous habit. "Some of that stuff he got into back in Maryland was completely his fault." He looked directly at me, "You know why." I nodded, hoping that no one else asked for an explanation. It wasn't my place to reveal that part of Edward's past.

Jasper continued his explanation. "Edward drank…a lot. He generally caused a lot of mayhem and he probably got off pretty light considering what he was charged with, but he didn't deal drugs. The possession charge was because of an idiot teammate of his and a slut of a cheerleader." I could hear the anger in his voice and Alice moved in a little tighter to him. "He was already in trouble for a DUI, so when the cheerleader called in a tip that there were drugs in his buddy's car, he told the cops it was his."

I wasn't the only one who gasped in disbelief. It was Rose who spoke first, a little harshly. "Why the hell would he do that?"

Jasper glanced again at me and he nodded slightly. I knew the answer to that. I looked at Jasper as I spoke. "Because he had nothing else to lose, so why not take the fall for his teammate?" The words tasted bitter on my tongue and while the specifics were not known to the rest of the group, Jasper and I stared at each other knowingly. We were both thinking the same thing. History was repeating itself. Edward was in jail for something he didn't do, and worst of all he wasn't going to fight the charges. I saw it in his eyes. He felt like he had nothing to lose again, and it was all my fault.

Emmett stood, his chair scraping against the linoleum floor. "Newton."

Alice hissed at him for speaking a no-no word aloud in the house, but he waved her off. "He has been a son of a bitch about Edward taking his spot on the team…and making him look like a total loser by being the one taking the team to a bowl game."

Jasper scoffed, "Do you actually think that little shit is capable of something like this?" Emmett folded his arms and looked down at his feet for a moment. "When Edward messed up his ankle, it wasn't because his shoe strings tore…they were cut on both shoes." I let my mouth fall open and he looked guilty at my shocked expression. "Why didn't he tell me?" I whispered.

Emmett shook his head. "He didn't want to worry you. We don't have any proof that he did it and given Edward's less-than-stellar past, we knew coach wouldn't believe him over the word of the spit-shined Michael Newton. So we decided to keep a better eye on him and everything seemed to settle down."

Alice cocked her head, "But now you think he stepped up his game, so to speak?" Emmett nodded and I shook my head in confusion. "But how would he be able to do all that? Plant drugs in his car, steal and vandalize?" Rosalie craned her head to look at me. "Newton may be the backseat quarterback, but he still has just as much access to the athletic building as everyone here does. He hangs out with a bunch of losers anyways, so getting access to drugs wouldn't be too hard. And all Edward needed to do was leave his car unlocked a time or two and there you go."

It was so easy, so simple of a plan that destroyed everything that mattered to me. I had to fight to hold back hysterical laughter. "Okay, so we have a theory, but no proof. You don't suppose he would be stupid enough to leave prints on anything, do you?" Emmett winced, "That tool watched way too much CSI to not take at least some precautions. Unless we get a witness or a confession, I doubt we will have anything but Edward's word…and the way that's looking it may not be of much help."

I turned away from the group, my mind reeling with all this information. Mike Newton was involved, I was sure of it. Whether he acted alone was still a question, but based on his irrational behavior there was little doubt he was behind all this. He also stood the most to gain from Edward's absence. He would be the quarterback for the upcoming bowl game.

"We may have an alibi," Jasper spoke slowly. I whirled to look at him. Alice craned her neck to look up at him as well. "Jazz?" He shook his head, wincing slightly. "I'm not sure, but he may have been at Volt sometime today." He gave me an apologetic look. "He was planning on practicing his song for you one more time before tonight."

I pushed past the ache in my heart to grab onto the important information. "This is good, right? We can go to the club and find out who was working today and they can tell us when Edward was there." My hoped lifted with the thought of finding someone that could possibly free Edward. Emmett sighed. "It may not be that simple, Bells. Even if he was at the club at the same time the athletic building was trashed, there are still the drugs in his car. And the odds of finding a witness to the vandalism and theft are slim to none."

I bit my lip for a moment, and then nodded resolutely. "Then we need a confession." Alice looked at me and slowly smiled. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Right, because Newton will totally give himself up if we ask nicely."

"Not _we_," Alice said, still smiling at me. "If _Bella_ asks nicely, he will give up all his dirty little secrets." Emmett immediately stomped towards us. "Not no, but _hell no!_" I started to open my mouth but he interrupted me, pointing a finger at me. "I don't want you within ten miles of that shit bag, let alone in the same room while you accuse him of various crimes!" Alice put her hand on her hip, "Emmett…" He whirled on her. "No! I know what you are thinking Alice and I refuse to have her be some sort of pawn in some crazy-ass scheme to get him to confess! This isn't friggen TV! She isn't La Femme Nikita!"

Both Alice and I started to protest again when Rosalie suddenly barked out, "Emmett McCarty!" I jumped a little at the volume of her voice, and I swear I saw Emmett flinch a little. Rosalie marched right up to him and stabbed a finger into his chest. "What would you do to get me out of serious trouble?" He pursed his lips, refusing to answer her. She pushed him and he stumbled back a tiny bit. "Answer me! If I was in deep shit, I mean _really _deep shit, what would you do to save me?"

"Anything!" Emmett burst out in an angry yell. "I would do fucking anything for you! You know that!" Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him, not backing down. "Why?" Emmett didn't hesitate this time, and his voice was much softer, "Because I love you. You're my girl."

Rosalie shook her head and put her hands on either side of his face. "And I love you. I would die for you, Emmett." She nodded her head in my direction. "That's what Edward and Bella have, whether you like it or not. They would do anything for each other too." Emmett was quiet again, and I took the opportunity to step towards him.

"Em, I have to do this…I have to get him back." Alice stepped up beside of me. "We can help her, Emmett. Everything will turn out fine, trust me."

Emmett looked from me to Alice and then finally back to Rosalie. She hadn't looked away from him the entire time. He sighed and closed his eyes. He turned his head and looked at me. "Do not get hurt. I mean it, Bella. If you get hurt it will kill me."

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and nodded stepping into his arms when he held them open for me. I pressed my face against his warm, broad chest, turning my head to the side to look at my flowers. I spoke without looking away from them. "Jasper, he isn't going to want to see me. I need you to go to him and tell him not to do anything that could get him in more trouble." I had to swallow before I could continue, "Tell him…tell him I love him and I am not giving up on him." Jasper mumbled in agreement and I gently pulled away from Emmett.

"I have a phone call to make before it gets any later. Thank you…for sticking with me." My friends gave me small smiles as I turned out of the kitchen and headed for my room… and a cell phone. I wish I was as confident as Alice was about everything turning out okay. I wasn't sure how I was going to go about getting Mike to confess, but I had to do everything I could. I had my friends with me, and I wasn't going to stop until Edward was out of jail, even if that led to watching him walk away from me.

**Who is Bella going to call? (Small hint: NOT ghostbusters.)**

**Edward's POV in the next chapter, thanks everyone!**


	25. Chapter 25

**AN at bottom, please read it.**

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

Chapter 25

_**E**_

"_**The Little Things Give You Away" Linkin Park**_

"_Huskies fans are shocked and disappointed at the recent arrest of star quarterback Edward Cullen. The sophomore was taken into custody last night with pending charges of theft, vandalism and possession of illegal substances. This does not bode well for the upcoming bowl game against the Buckeyes with Michael Newton filling in Cullen's shoes…"_

I let my head fall back against the cold concrete wall….hard. The echo of the TV at the guard station had my teeth clenched so hard I thought my molars would crack. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, releasing it slowly. Not that there was anyone in the cell with me to witness a breakdown, but if I let myself go now, there was no coming back. I wasn't quite ready to jump off that cliff yet. Soon…but not yet.

The walls were different in this jail. In Maryland, the walls were painted industrial gray, matching the bars, the cots, the blankets….everything. Here they had decided the institutional look was the way to go. Everything was some version of white. The walls were off-white, the floors a cream color with darker brown flecks mixed in. Even the fucking cot blankets were white and reeked of bleach. Everything was too bright, too intense for my tired eyes. But when I closed my eyes, I was thrown back into the past.

_It's all fucking happening again_.

The darkness that had been a part of my life for so long crept back over me, covering me like a familiar coat. It ate at my soul, or what was left of it. I could almost physically feel it moving inside of me, taking me over.

My life was one long, fucked-up song left on repeat. It didn't matter that I was once again in the slammer for something I didn't do. It didn't matter that one of my teammates put me in this situation. All that mattered was that I was here again, and I was alone.

Jasper would have my back, I was sure of that. But I had not seen him all that day so there was nothing he could do to help me. My options were limited and while I knew it would be smarter of me to let my stupid-as-shit state assigned lawyer do his job and set bail, I could honestly care less. Everything inside me that gave a shit had died back in that house, in that kitchen.

It hurt that none of my roommates came to my defense. Even Alice, who protested at first, had a wary look on her face as I walked out of there. Emmett didn't even bother to stay in the room and Bella…._fuck_.

Just thinking her name made my stomach twist in a painful knot and I was grateful I hadn't eaten anything they had given me. I had all night to stew in my rage and hurt over her reaction. I used my pride as an anchor, telling myself that I was the victim and she was the tormentor. And then I had all morning to yank at my own hair, wishing I could rip the image of her tearful face out of my mind. _She hesitated, she didn't believe I was innocent; she didn't jump to my defense…_

_I fucking made her cry_.

Each tear that poured out of her hit me like a bullet. _I put those tears on her face._ Whether it was my reaction to her silence or simply the reaction of seeing her boyfriend carted off in handcuffs, I had been the cause of those tears. That alone kept my mouth shut and my lawyer upset at my refusal to deny the charges. I deserved to be where I was. I was poison to everything I touched, first to my family and now to the one person that held my entire heart. I wanted to hate her, but it was hard when she was my everything…even now. She had abandoned me, but a part of me would never be able to leave her.

I pushed myself off the worn cot and began pacing the cell….again. My eyes burned with lack of sleep and I rubbed them wearily. I needed some sort of distraction before my mind really started fucking with itself. I looked up and as if I had magically conjured him, Jasper stood by my cell. In my distraction I hadn't noticed his approached. The guard that accompanied him gruffly reminded him that he had ten minutes with the "prisoner" before walking off to a sort-of polite distance. Jasper nodded at him and then stepped up to my cage doors. He looked me over for a long minute and then gave me his trademark smart-ass smirk. "Dude, you look like shit."

I rolled my eyes and laughed darkly. "Well then I match how I feel." I approached the bars and leaned against them with my shoulder.

"Your ass-hat of a lawyer says you aren't fighting any of the charges."

I answered him with a shrug, and even that small movement took a lot of effort. Jasper shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "Okay, on some bizarre level I understand why you took the wrap for your teammate back in Maryland, but you didn't do any of this shit and you are just going to let yourself go down?" His voice was incredulous, angry.

I folded my arms across my chest and glared at the wall behind him, not quite able to look at him in the eyes when he looked so damn…disappointed. "What the fuck is the point? Shit was going to hit the fan for me soon anyways. I am just getting it over with."

"Why the hell would you say that? Was shit going just a little too perfect for your tastes?" He practically spat the words out at me and I kept my gaze at some point past his head. I almost fell over when he gave me a rough shove through the bars. When I turned to glare at him, he had his hand up in the air, ticking off his fingers as he made his case.

"One, you are the friggen best thing to happen to the university in decades. Two, you were living with people who actually put up with your grumpy ass long enough to be your friends. Three, you were reconnecting with your mom and dad for the first time in how many years? And finally," he dropped his hand and his eyes turned hard, intense. "You had a fucking unbelievable woman who loved you more than she loved anyone." He gestured to the cell. "You gave it all up for this."

I grabbed at the bars and leaned in close to him, my voice not rising but the anger was there, making it almost impossible to speak. "I didn't give _anything_ up! You know goddamn well I didn't do any of that shit they say I did! I have done nothing but try to turn my life around since I got here and what do I get? Huh? I get bitch-slapped with a bunch of bullshit charges and stabbed in the back by a house full of people who claimed to be my 'friends'." I sneered at the last word. Jasper didn't back down. In fact, he took a step closer.

"If you didn't do any of that shit, then say something! Don't let that little shit-head Newton tear you down after all you have done to get to where you are."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Newton? How the hell do you know it was him?"

Jasper pursed his lips, thinking about what he was going to say next. "Emmett told us about the trouble you were having with him, so it's not a far stretch putting him at the top of the suspect list. You think he did it too, right?"

I sighed and ran a hand over my face before answering him. "Yeah…yeah I am positive he is behind all of this shit." I shook my head and laughed roughly. "I bet he is just tickled to fucking death at his chance for the bowl game."

"Emmett thinks he probably didn't do all the dirty work himself, but that he was at least the instigator."

My head popped up at his words. "Emmett? He believes I was set up?"

Jasper nodded and gave me a small smile. "Everyone is on your side man, whether you like it or not. We sat around all night talking about what we needed to do to get you out of here."

I walked away from him as he finished talking, letting his words sink into my tired brain. Emmett was on my side. Not only Emmett, but Alice, Rosalie and…

"Bella," I whispered to myself. I let her name roll off my tongue. The pain that came with it hit hard and fast. I had to take another minute to compose myself before I turned back to Jasper. Whether he had heard me say her name or not, my question must have been written on my face. Jasper put one arm up above him, leaning on the bars.

"She was the one who told me to come here, to try to talk you out of doing something stupid like confessing to shit you didn't do."

I couldn't talk yet, so I settled for nodding to show I was listening. He studied me for a second before continuing.

"She is torn up, Edward, but she is tough as hell. I don't know what happened, but she pulled everyone together and defended you…stood up for you. She doesn't have any proof yet, but she isn't letting that stop her. She didn't think you would want to see her, but she told me she wasn't going to stop until you were out of here."

I was staring at that place beyond his head again, this time forcing myself not to breakdown in front of my best friend. I didn't want to believe what he was saying. It was easier believing in the betrayal and hate, it was safer. If I was alone, I couldn't be hurt by anyone anymore. But if what he said was true, then I wasn't alone.

And Jasper never lies.

The guard started making his way back to us to escort Jasper out of the holding area. Jasper spared him a quick glance before looking back at me. "Seriously Edward, hang in there. Don't fucking give up yet. We have a plan," he smiled a bit, "Well, actually its Bella's plan, but we will get you out of here. And then I will kick some sense into your dumb-ass."

I ignored his attempt at humor and gave him a narrow-eyed look. "What plan? What are you all going to do?" Jasper pursed his lips again…thinking.

"Jazz," I suddenly had a fearful thought. "What is _she_ planning on doing?"

The guard had reached Jasper and was leading him out. Jasper looked over his shoulder at me. "Don't worry about it. I'll be seeing you soon, brother."

"Jazz!" I gripped the cell bars and watched as he walked out of the holding area. I pounded my hands on the metal and grunted in frustration. _Bella_.

Bella had a plan, and I had a seriously uneasy feeling about what that meant. The knowledge of her belief in me had the ice around my heart thawing out a little, but I was too confused to understand all of it right away. Did I let myself hope? Would I be able to recover from another disappointment?

I spent most of the morning thinking about not getting my hopes up about Bella and failing miserably. When the guards came around with lunch I jolted on lumpy cot, sitting upright and feeling unusually clear-headed. I took the tray from the food-slot and bit into whatever kind of shitty sandwich they gave me before speaking to the guard.

"I want to talk to my lawyer."

_**B**_

"_**Shake That" Eminem**_

I tugged on my skirt…if you could call it that…and Alice slapped at my hands again. "Bella, cut it out! You are going to ruin all my hard work." She pulled at the material and adjusted how it lay against my thighs. The denim clung to me like a second skin and was just on this side of being publicly indecent. I swallowed the nausea that threatened to overtake me. My heart was pounding and I was sure I would sweat all of Alice's makeup off. I finally pulled back from her when she started adjusting my boobs in the low-cut black top.

Alice pulled back and accessed my appearance, nodding her satisfaction while tugging her coat more tightly around her. Normally, I would be just as cold standing outside in barely anything during winter in Seattle, but my nerves were doing a fine job of cutting off brain function at the moment.

Rosalie came up behind me, fluffing out my already teased mess of hair. "You sure you want to do this?" Her voice was concerned, but resigned. They both knew there was no way I was backing out now. I looked up at the garish neon lights over the building's door. "Are you sure he is in there?"

Emmett leaned out the window of his Jeep. "It's Friday night. Newton always comes here on Fridays to blow daddy's money." Rosalie scoffed but I just nodded mutely. Emmett called for my attention. "Hey Bells?" I turned my head to look at him. Jasper was in the passenger seat. Both of them were posed with one hand on the door handle, ready to jump out at a moment's notice. We made them promise to stay in the Jeep unless absolutely necessary so they wouldn't blow my cover. My surrogate big brother gave me a serious look. "The first second you feel like it's too much, we'll call it off. We will find another way."

I gave him a tight smile, but didn't agree to anything. There was no way I was backing out now, no matter what. Everyone knew that we needed Mike's confession, we needed the proof. Edward depended on it, and I would do anything for Edward.

I took a deep, steadying breath and turned to face the entrance again. My girls each took a hand and squeezed it. Rosalie was the only one who let go. Alice held my hand tightly as we walked through the door. We had agreed that I wasn't going to go into the club alone, but Rosalie was a little too intimidating for what we needed so she reluctantly stayed behind. I envied Alice and her outfit, which was stylish but covered most of her body. She handed her coat to the appropriate staff and after a quick ID check we were inside.

Music pounded through me, knocking my bones together and almost stealing my breath. I tried desperately not to look on stage, but the nudity was unavoidable. Girls walked around topless, carrying trays of drinks or moving to dance on the laps of eager young men. Smoke obscured my vision, but I saw enough. I hoped the lights were low enough to hide the extreme redness of my face.

Alice and I scanned the room, looking for a familiar face. Finally she tugged on my hand, pointing over into the far right corner near the stage. I followed her line of sight and there was Mike, his face locked onto the gyrating naked girl in front of him. My heart picked up in speed and my anxiety now had nothing to do with being in a strip club for the first time in my life. Alice held my hand as we maneuvered around the crowded club. Even though they were surrounded by women much more appealing, and much less clothed, than me, I was still on the receiving end of several grasps and pinches as we walked. I bit down on my tongue to keep from crying out in revulsion and fear. I kept my mind on Edward, the look on his face when he thought I had turned my back on him. The pain from that image kept me from running back the way we came and taking one shaky step after another towards the scum who set him up.

When we finally reached his table, it took him a minute to turn to us. He had a few dollars clutched in his sweaty hand, eyes bobbing along to the swing of the hips moving in front of him. His friends noticed us right away. I recognized a few of them from the football team. They were all second-stringers, and I was surprised to see them associating with Mike. They never seemed to care for him before, but I guess that all changes when you have a chance to be friends with the quarterback playing in a bowl game.

His friends stared at us for a second, apparently also recognizing who we were. One of them slapped Mike roughly on the shoulder a few times and he turned around with an annoyed look on his face….until he saw me.

His beady eyes didn't rake me from head to toe. They pretty much just settled on my highly exposed legs and what cleavage Alice had magically managed to make pop over my black top. A slow, lazy grin spread across his face. "Didn't know you had it in you, Bella." I hated the way he spoke my name… mocking, perverted. I stood there frozen, mostly with fear but partly with disgust. Alice pinched my arm subtly, reminding me I should probably say something. I had to clear my throat twice before I could actually form the words Alice had coached me to say. "Well Mike, I am just full of surprises." I tried to give him some sort of smile, but I am not sure if I was able to master that skill quite yet. Alice gave them all the smiles they could want; her acting ability and natural perkiness coming out the play.

Mike didn't bother standing; instead he lounged back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. "What brings you to this fine establishment, ladies?" I felt a shiver run down my spine at the leer he gave me. Alice gave me a little push and I stumbled towards Mike. He grinned at me and I took a deep breath, conjuring up the best sultry look I could manage. "I heard that you are taking over for quarterback in the bowl game next week." Mike laughed.

"So you just wanted to be near the top of the food chain again, is that it?" I remembered what Rosalie told me to say and I smiled for real this time, knowing he wouldn't get the sarcasm in my statement. "You know us _cheerleaders_, we just have to have the best." No one at that table understood that there was a huge difference between cheerleaders and dancers, but we had counted on that. Mike leaned forward in his chair, a smug smile on his face. "Well, the best is here, babe. You want to stay and hang out, or would you rather go someplace a little more private?"

_Don't panic...don't throw up._

I smiled, and it probably looked sick. When I leaned down towards him, his eyes widened slightly, taken aback by my boldness. I must have disappointed him when I turned away from his lips and whispered in his ear, "Meet me in the press box tomorrow night." Everyone knew the press box was empty during practices, and a lot of couples took advantage of that. I pulled back and Mike licked his lips, looking dazed. "When?" He finally managed to say. I forced myself not to move farther away.

"Right before practice," and I gave him a wink, "Be sure to wear your uniform, Mr. Star Quarterback." _Gag._

Somehow, he bought my horrible act and grinned stupidly. His hand brushed down my arm, sending pinpricks over my skin. "See you tomorrow night then, babe."

It took everything I had to pull back slowly and give him a tiny wave as Alice and I turned around and walked out the door. I didn't wait for Alice to get her coat; I just stumbled into the parking lot, my breath coming in hard, panting gasps. I was vaguely aware of Rosalie running up to me, grasping my arms. I heard her asking if I was alright, but I couldn't take a breath enough to answer. My vision was getting hazy as I heard the Jeep's doors slam and Emmett barreling up to us. "Bells? What happened?" His voice was tight with concern. Jasper had moved over to Alice when she came out the door with her coat. I heard her telling everyone what went down and she convinced the boys that they didn't need to go in there and rearrange Mike's body parts.

I bent my head down and felt my knees trembling. Emmett picked me up and carried me to the Jeep, setting me in the back and wrapping me in his warm coat. I felt several pairs of hands rubbing me, soothing me and voices begging me to breathe. I concentrated on that one task. One breath in through the nose, exhaling slowly through the mouth. After a few minutes, I felt myself returning to some sort of normal.

I looked up and almost laughed at the looks on my roommates faces. They were all huddled around me, watching to see if I spontaneously combusted or something. I gave them I smile and croaked when I spoke. "I'm alright….I did it."

Alice grinned at me. "Hell yes you did it! You guys should have seen her! She turned on her inner sex-goddess and had Newton eating out of her hand!" I grimaced at her. "I don't know about the whole sex-goddess thing, but he agreed to meet with me before practice tomorrow." I looked over to Jasper. I hadn't really spoken to him directly since he came back from seeing Edward. I knew he wouldn't tell me anything unless I asked, and I don't think I would be able to handle hearing what happened anyways. "Jasper, do you have everything you need for tomorrow?" He nodded and I turned to Alice. We had gone over all these details before, but everything had to go off without a hitch otherwise this could all be for nothing.

"Alice? Did you get in contact with the guy your dad told you about?" She nodded as well, "I am going to call him again tomorrow afternoon before we leave." I turned to Rosalie and Emmett but they were both nodding before I could say anything. Rosalie spoke first. "Don't worry Bella, my end is taken care of." Emmett patted the top of my head affectionately. "It will work out, Bells. You have the hard part."

I sighed and tried not to think too hard about that. I knew I could do it, I knew I _had_ to do it. Edward could be free by the end of the weekend if we played our cards right. _This is one thing I can do for him, I can give him at least this much…I _owe_ him this much_. _He saved me…and I plan on returning the favor_.

My phone trilled on the seat beside me and I hastily picked it up. A text message appeared and I sighed again, hoping I was doing the right thing. Jasper saw the look on my face. "You did good by calling, Bella." I met his gaze and saw the honesty in his words.

"Alice, lets get this makeup off me and get me into some decent clothes, I have one more meeting tonight."

_**E**_

I gave up on sleeping and decided that pacing was the right thing to do at this moment. My impatience had no outlet for release. I tried doing pushups and sit-ups, just trying to wear myself out into numbness. I don't know which was worse, the blinding pain or the glimmer of hope that may lead to further disappointment.

After asking for my lawyer yesterday afternoon, the guard had returned and said there was some sort of mix-up and that he was no longer representing me. No great loss there, but they had yet to send me another lawyer in his place. I had tried yelling and threatening and all sorts of useless shit, but now I just settled for pacing. I hadn't used my one phone call yet, and I was about to call Jazz and find out what the hell was going on with their so-called "plan". I couldn't lie to myself…I was worried fucking sick about what could be going on with Bella. Putting her anywhere near Newton was out of the question, and I was depending on Emmett's overprotective side to keep her safe.

My internal ramblings were interrupted by the opening of a gate. I moved to the doors of my cell as a tall man with salt and pepper hair and a nice suit approached me. He had a briefcase in one hand and I knew right off he wasn't anywhere on the same level as my previous lawyer.

"Edward Cullen?" He continued when I nodded, sticking his hand out towards me. "I am David Jennings, from Baylor and Jennings Law Firm." When we shook hands he reached into his pocket, pulling out his business card and handing it to me. It was printed on expensive, elegant cardstock. I looked back up at his intelligent face. "You weren't assigned by the state." It wasn't a question, but he answered it anyways. "No, I was privately hired to represent you in this case." I narrowed my eyes at him. There is no way any of my friends had enough money to even get this guy to come talk to me, let alone represent me in court. "Who hired you?"

He didn't answer me directly, but turned and held out an arm, gesturing for someone to come to him. I peered around the bars the best I could until I could see who was coming. My body and mind froze in shock. The past came roaring back at me with blinding speed, confusing the present. Her hair looks the same, maybe with a little more silver streaked through it. The reddish-caramel waves bounced around her shoulders, framing a soft face filled with worry. His face had several more lines around the eyes, but his hair was still just as golden blonde as ever. He wore an expression mixed with expectation and apprehension.

When they got closer, I took a moment to blink back the tears forming and swallowed down the world's largest lump in my throat. There were a million things I wanted to say. I wanted to apologize for the past few years; I wanted to tell them how much I loved them, how much I needed them in my life. I wanted to tell them that none of this was my fault and I was getting my life on track.

All that came out was a choked sounding "How?"

My mother looked up to my father for a brief moment before giving me a soft smile that I was all too familiar with. Her voice rang through my cell, through my body and the one word shot straight into my heart.

"Bella."

**Songs on my profile, as always.**

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	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything as far as I am concerned.**

**Song for the last part of this chapter is Sum 41 "With Me"**

**Go ahead, click on the link in my profile and get it ready…**

_**Chapter 26**_

_**Crossfade "Cold"**_

The high-priced lawyer left me and my parents alone, talking about getting bail set somehow. He told me since it was Saturday afternoon that I may not be able to post bail until tomorrow, maybe Monday. I tried not to growl in frustration. I needed to get out of this cage now.

Esme had charmed the guard into bringing a couple of hard-backed chairs for them to sit on while they talked to me. I perched on the edge of my cot facing them, and we talked…I mean _really _talked.

For hours….about everything but Bella.

I explained to them how I took the blame for most of what happened in Maryland in order to cover for my friend. They were not pleased that I did that, but I could tell they were relieved that I wasn't as far gone as they thought I was. When I told them that none of the things I was being accused of was my fault, I expected a little doubt, but they surprised me by whole-heartedly agreeing with me. My mother kept dabbing at tears and smiling, telling me that they would get me out and figure out everything. My father was a different story.

He didn't sit for very long. Like me, when he had something bothering him…he paced. Up and down in front of my cell, until I started to get motion sickness. He had a grim look on his face and I finally spoke to him directly. "Dad? What's with the look?"

He stopped in his pacing and turned to face me. I didn't think he was going to answer at first, but he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, another habit I picked up from him.

"Son, you know that your mother and I believe you are telling the truth about these accusations. But I am going to be completely honest with you. It doesn't look too good for you right now." He sat down wearily on his chair and gave me a weighted look.

"We hired the best lawyer in Seattle to represent you, but even he says that without solid evidence that you were not involved in these incidences, the case is going to be weak." He gave me an apologetic look, "Not to mention your record is working against you right now."

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes for a moment. I knew that my past would be a part of me for a long time; I just didn't expect it to come back and bite my ass quite like this.

There was nothing more we could say on the subject. It was pretty much all up to my fancy lawyer now.

_And whatever the hell my friends are up to_.

I cleared my throat and looked somewhere around the floor by my mother's shoes when I spoke next.

"So…Bella called you guys?" I already knew that, but I was giving them an opening to explain further. My mother reached her hand through the bars and I grasped it without hesitation. She gave me a warm smile when I met her eyes. "Bella is a lovely girl, Edward. She has such a kind soul and I can tell she loves you very much."

My father placed a hand on my mother's shoulder. "She called us from your cell phone Thursday night and told us what happened to you. We took the first flight out from Baltimore and immediately met with Mr. Jennings."

Esme's look became chiding. "Now Edward, I was hoping the first time I talked to your girlfriend that it wouldn't be because you were in jail." I knew she was teasing, but it did nothing to lighten my mood.

"Sorry, but I am not really sure if I have a girlfriend anymore now."

"Yes, Bella told us you were probably upset with her," my mother said quietly. I shook my head.

"Yeah, I was upset that she didn't speak up for me, but I acted like a complete asshole to her."

"Language, Edward Anthony."

I looked at her apologetically and released her hand to rub my face. "I really messed things up, mom. I said some things that I didn't mean at the time and now I am not sure where we stand."

Carlisle leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and briefly glancing at my mother. "I am not sure if you want to hear this or not, son. When we met with Bella late last night….she was very upset."

I flinched at his words and images of her tear-stained face flashed across my brain. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear this either.

"She told us about how you were arrested, and how everyone reacted. She feels horrible for hesitating, but she says she never doubted you for a second." My father waited until I met his eyes to continue. "You have surrounded yourself with strong, dependable people and I think you are all very fortunate to have each other."

I suddenly wondered how much my father actually knew about what my friends were doing. "Did she tell you about whatever plan they have to get me out of here?"

My parents looked at each other before my mother answered me. "Not exactly, they told us that there was a team member that they suspected of being behind all this, but there was no proof yet. She didn't tell us any details beyond that. We asked her to come to the station and tell the police what she suspected, but she said that she would have to wait until after tonight."

I gritted my teeth and felt my shoulders tighten. _I knew it_. She was involved in some sort of crazy scheme and it involved Newton, otherwise she would have come down to the station and dropped his name by now. I looked up at the clock in the hallway. It was almost time for practice to start.

_She said it would have to wait until after tonight._

I couldn't remember whether the girls had dance practice as well, but somehow I knew that they would be involved tonight somehow. I was practically shaking with the desire to get out of this cell and over to the field to stop whatever it was Bella was getting herself into. It didn't matter whether I stayed in this cell and rotted or not if she got hurt trying to save me.

­_**B**_

I don't know which was louder, the clacking of my heels echoing down the empty corridor or the pounding of blood through my head. I gave into the urge and turned to look back at my friends one more time, who were watching me from the entrance. Rosalie kept her eyes on me, but was pulling at Emmett's arm, trying to get him to leave. Emmett was already dressed in his practice uniform. His face was set in a serious mask, something you don't usually see with his jovial personality. The look in his eyes made the panic set in deeper inside me. This was real, this was actually happening.

Rosalie said something quietly and whatever she said made him give me a tight smile and turn away. He had a job to do and it was important everything happened on time. Alice's shadow was barely in my field of vision, already on her way to meet her contact. I knew Jasper was somewhere near the press box and he would be staying close. I tried to take comfort in that, but the moment my friends were no longer in sight, my breathing became erratic and my limbs frozen.

I tried to relax my breaths, but each time I exhaled a small sob choked out as well. I was trying desperately to hold on to the image of Edward, trying to anchor myself.

It wasn't working so well.

All I could picture was Mike's hands on me, his body pressed against mine. How could I pull this off? How could I convince him that I was infatuated with him when all I could think about was how his touch would be bringing back the panic I had spent years trying to get rid of?

My stomach started cramping and I had to bend over, my hands pressed into my middle. My straightened hair fell around me, cloaking my stricken face. Alice had once again spent pain-staking time on my appearance and a small part of me was concerned that my breakdown would ruin all her hard work. I thought I would be clad in something a little more revealing like I was last night at the strip club, but Alice had wordlessly handed me a pair of fitted black pants to accompany my deep blue halter top and black knit over-shirt. When I gave her a questioning look she just smiled and told me that I already had his attention, but I knew she was really just concerned for me.

I made myself straighten up and the walls only spun a little bit. I closed my eyes and when I released my breath this time, there was no sob. My hands slowly dropped down from my stomach. The cramps weren't any better, but time was ticking away. I pushed my fear into the back of my mind. I could deal with it later, for now I just shut down. I had done it before, and I could shut down again for a little while again. I needed to not be in my own body for just a few minutes, and everything depended on me being able to make Mike think I wanted to be with him.

The first step I took made me stumble, my legs feeling like lead weights. The second step was shaky, but more steps followed. The clacking of my heels echoed on the walls again, and my heart was still pounding a mile a minute, but my mind was numb.

I could do this….I _had_ to do this.

Sooner than I would have liked, I had reached the door to the press box. I didn't allow any more time to collect myself…that was just not happening. My hands fumbled at the doorknob and I felt shivers roll down my spine as I pushed the door open.

The room was empty, and I was both relieved and irritated. I wanted this to be over as soon as possible. I kept walking until I reached the window overlooking the stadium. Far below, I saw the players stretching on the field. Even among the sea of large men, I was able to pick out Emmett easily. He was the one staring back up at me.

I placed my hand on the window as if I could draw strength from his concerned gaze. I couldn't see Alice or Rosalie, but I knew they were not far. My few moments of solitude were suddenly blown away.

"Hey Babe."

I jumped, I couldn't help it. I spun around to see Mike leaning against the doorway in his practice gear. I could tell right off that he was posing…arms crossed over his puffed up chest, trying to look taller. I couldn't fathom why I was ever the least bit attracted to him.

"I didn't scare you, did I?" His voice was mocking, lacking any real concern for my well-being. It was what I needed to push away from the window and take a small step towards him, giving him a sick smile. "No, not at all. I was just waiting for you."

Mike's eye's glazed over as I took a few steps closer. Obviously he mistook my hesitation for teasing, and he met me halfway. His grin widened and he didn't waste a moment before he put his hands on me. "Well you don't have to wait anymore." My breath got trapped in my throat as his arms snaked around my waist. Flashes of another man's hands on me popped into my mind and panic clawed at me. Mike's face came down to nuzzle on my neck and I couldn't help but to push him away.

He gave me an angry look, sneering down his crooked nose. "What? This again? What game are you playing?" A new kind of panic came over me. I couldn't mess this up now, not when we were so close. I forced myself to step up next to his body, smiling coyly but not meeting his eyes.

"I just want to…talk some first." I looked up at him through my lashes, like Alice and Rose taught me. I felt like a fool but it must have worked because he gave me a dopey smile again. "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot last time, and now I want to get to know you." I blinked a few times for effect and ran a finger down his jersey-clad chest. My finger felt like it burned. "I want to know about Washington's newest bad-boy."

Mike chuckled and stepped forward so that I had to back up. "Oh so you like your boys a little bad, huh?" A few steps later and he had me pinned against the control board against the wall.

Perfect.

When he moved to my neck again, I forced myself not to push him away. I used the opportunity to turn my head to the side and look at the control panel. Mike used the opportunity to run his tongue across my skin. I felt a gag coming up in my throat and my knees started knocking uncontrollably. I covered my unsteadiness by grasping onto Mike's shoulders for support. His foot wedged between my legs and forced them farther apart, stepping in between them to grind his hips into mine. I bit my lip hard to keep from crying out loud. This was too much, I couldn't think, I couldn't follow through.

I pulled at Mike's hair, desperately looking to regain the advantage. He opened up the opportunity for me.

"Just what bad things do you like, Bella?" I felt around behind me, but couldn't find the right switch.

"Umm…why don't you tell me some of the bad things you have done."

His hands crept up my sides and I knew he had to feel how hard my heart was beating against my ribs.

"Was Cullen too good for you?" His voice was mocking.

_You have no idea._

I licked my parched lips and focused my eyes on the ceiling of the press box. "Edward didn't do whatever it took to get to the top. He was too straight-laced for me."

_Come on….take the bait._

I thought it would take more convincing, more seduction, but Mike was all too willing to show off it seems.

"You want to hear how I got my way to the top?"

I was reaching out with the other hand now, still blindly searching. Mike pulled back and grinned down at me. "It wasn't an accident that Cullen ended up at the bottom of the food chain again."

_No! Not yet!_

It would not do any good to have him spew his guts to just me. I had to get to that damn button. I let my mind swim through the panic and disconnected all my feelings, grabbing Mike's face and crushing his lips to mine.

It took him a second to get over the surprise, but then he jumped right in, with tongue and teeth. It was so unlike Edward's gentle caresses that I almost laughed hysterically. But then his hands moved from my sides and roughly grabbed my ass, grinding hard against me and showing me exactly how excited he was to be here.

I yanked my head away from him with a sharp cry of distress. I couldn't mask the utter disgust on my face, so I turned away from him, leaning on the control counter. Mike made a sound of approval and grabbed my hips, pressing himself against me again and fumbling for the clasp on the front of my pants.

"I don't know what has gotten into you, but I like it, babe." His breath was gasping, growing louder in my ear as he leaned over me. Now that he couldn't see my expression, I let the tears flow free. The small release of those tears allowed me to focus on the matter at hand. I glanced over the various buttons and found the one I had been looking for.

"Stop," I pushed his hands away from my pants, "I want to hear more." I flipped the switch and held my breath.

Mike laughed and brushed my hands away, resuming the task of unbuttoning.

"You really do like to hear about being bad, huh? Does it turn you on?"

My cheeks flamed and I bit my lip to stay quiet as he ran his fingers along the inside of the top of my pants. This was it, this was the make it or break it moment. Either he started talking or I give in to the breakdown hovering on the edge of my consciousness.

"What do you want to hear? Do you want to hear how I am the reason why Cullen is rotting in jail?" I didn't trust myself to speak, so I settled for nodding and gripping the counter to hold myself upright. Mike had pulled my pants until they rested low on my hips and gave up on that portion, sliding his hands up my sides again, this time under my shirt.

"This is how bad I am, babe. I am the one that set the whole thing up. I put the drugs in his car when the dumbass left it unlocked. I am the one that trashed the workout area when he parked there alone. I stole the equipment and sold it to various people, spreading the word that it came from Cullen."

That's how Edward was blamed for the larceny. My anger pushed at my hysteria, so I didn't scream when his fingers brushed at the underside of my bra.

"How do I know that's true?" I wiped discreetly at my eyes and turned around, forcing his grip to move from my breasts. He looked at me in confusion, briefly too distracted to continue his groping. I wanted to pull my pants back up…I wanted to bathe in Clorox…

I wanted this asshole to give me something to fry him with.

Mike gave me an indignant look. "Well if you need some goddamn proof or something, talk to James. That crazy-ass took pictures with his cell phone." He smirked and grabbed at my hips again. "You know, so we can sit around and laugh later."

"I laughing my ass off right now, douche bag."

Mike whirled around and glared at the intruder. Jasper was standing in the doorway, fists clenched at his sides and face tight with anger. He glanced at me and gave me a nod. I wanted to fall down in relief. _We did it, we got what we needed_. Jasper wouldn't have come in here otherwise. I scrambled to put my clothes back to order, my hands shaking so much it was nearly an impossible task. Jasper pointed to the window. "Why don't you give everyone a wave, Newton."

I turned my head and was able to see most of the field below us. Mike looked as well and I could see the realization sinking in.

On the field, every single person was looking up at us. I couldn't see Emmett, but Rosalie was standing next to two people, one with a microphone and one with a camera. I recognized the woman's face from the six o'clock news. Coach Meyers was moving quickly over to one of the players, shouting something that we couldn't hear. I felt the pieces clicking into place when I realized he was calling out Mike's co-conspirator, James.

Mike whirled around and faced Jasper again. My friend just smirked and pointed to the control board. "Say 'hi' to all your friends, stud."

Mike's face went from white to red. His eyes darting around the small room and finally coming to land on me. I was still letting my mind bask in the relief that this was all over, that Edward was going to be safe. Mike moved in towards me before I could process what was going on. He grabbed at me again, this time in anger.

"What the fuck!" His hands were digging into my upper arms, bruising me and making the air in my lungs whoosh out in shock. Before I could take a breath in, he was suddenly gone.

There was a scuffle and then a cracking sound as Emmett and Jasper rushed Mike, slamming him into the thick window. Glass cracked but did not break, despite the fact that they had him pinned so hard he was dangling off his feet. I stumbled back against the wall and felt myself slide slowly down. Alice was suddenly there, putting her hands on either side of my face. "Bella! Bella, are you hurt?" I clutched my hands over hers.

"We did it?" I didn't mean it to come out as a question, but Alice smiled. It was odd to see her with tears in her eyes. She never cries. Why was she crying?

"Yeah, sweetie. We did it." She released me to gesture to the man moving over to Emmett and Jasper, handcuffs dangling from his fingers. In a fog, I heard him reciting Mike his Miranda rights. Emmett and Jasper released him so that the police officer could take him into custody. Two more police officers stood at the door ready to help.

The man who handcuffed Mike handed him off to the others and then turned to me and Alice. He took a few steps and kneeled down next to us, sticking his hand out in my direction. "Hi there, I'm Officer Charlie Black." I flinched back so hard my head cracked on the wall. I felt like I was falling to pieces inside, like I wasn't in control of my own reactions. Alice ran a hand over my hair, making soothing noises as the tears started to roll down her face. Jasper and Emmett stood back, looking uncertainly down at me. Why were they looking like that?

Charlie Black looked at Alice in concern. "Is she okay, does she need medical attention?"

"No," I whispered. The last thing I wanted was some stranger touching me. I made myself calm down long enough to look into his kind eyes. "Edward?"

Charlie smiled, "You did good, kid. I don't approve of how you all went about doing this, but between the outstanding number of witnesses to Newton's confession and the photos on his buddy's phone, there is no reason to hold Edward Cullen anymore."

I closed my eyes and rested my head on my bent knees. I heard the scuffle of shoes as Charlie stood up. "Tell your father I said 'Hi' Alice, and that the next time I am in town he owes me a fishing trip." Alice said that she would and after he left, there was silence.

I lifted my head to look at my friends. They all were still looking at me with a look of almost fear.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?" My voice was nothing more than a croak by this point. Alice squeezed my hand. "Bella, you don't look so good. It's okay if you need to let it out. You have been through a lot lately." I shook my head, both in denial and fighting off the haze settling over me. I held out a hand and Emmett immediately stepped forward to grasp it, gently pulling me to my feet. I could see the relief in his eyes when I didn't flinch away from him. Alice already had one arm wrapped around my waist so I pulled her and Emmett in close to me for a double-hug. Emmett rested his head on top of mine, and I could feel his arms trembling a little. He kissed my hair and whispered, "I love you, Bells."

I squeezed them both tight and whispered back, "I love you guys too." I felt another body wrap themselves around me and I didn't need to look to know Rose had arrived. She didn't say anything, but I knew what she was feeling anyways. This was my family, the ones who have been there for me for as long as I care to remember. While the familiar embraces anchored me, I felt something missing. When I opened my eyes, I saw Jasper looking at all of us, a soft smile on his face. I gently pried myself from the group hug and stepped right up to him. There was no hesitation, no flinching. I wrapped my arms around his neck and after a surprised hesitation, he carefully put his arms around me. I buried my face into his neck, feeling his blonde curls tickle my cheeks. The tears that had stopped earlier were burning at the back of my eyelids again.

"Thank you, Jasper." I think he knew I was thanking him for more than just tonight. I was thanking him for being Edward's friend, for helping make him into the man he is today. Jasper didn't move anything, still keeping a feather-light touch with me.

"No Bella…thank _you_."

I heard a familiar chirping and released myself from Jasper to turn to Alice, who was holding my cell phone. She read the text message and then gave me a smile.

"They are waiting for you at the gate entrance."

I nodded and forced my legs to hold it together a little while longer. I breathed in deeply as I walked from the room, my friends….my _family_…close behind me. The haze in my mind was getting worse, and I knew that I was almost at my end.

I bypassed confused and angry players, the murmured supporting words of the other dancers, and the questions thrown from the news reporter. At the gate entrance stood Edward's parents and his lawyer. They locked on to me immediately, and stumbled as I moved towards the people who gave me the love of my life…and accepted me with open arms. Esme, who was everything kind that I see in Edward…and Carlisle, all the integrity and morals he possessed, instilled in his son. The reddish tint of her hair…the tall security of his stature….

I didn't take too many more steps before Esme rushed at me. She held out her arms and crushed me against her, holding one hand against the back of my head and the other protectively around my back.

"Its okay, sweetheart. You're safe now." Her words soothed me…and broke me. It was like my own mother had reached out for me. There was just something in a mother's embrace…it was powerful. I let out my first sob and released the first tear.

And then I let the pieces fall.

I cried loudly, brokenly, and my knees gave out along with my control. I sank down and Esme went to her knees with me, cradling me against her small frame and rocking me gently. I wept violently as onlookers moved around us. I knew my friends were nearby, and a part of me was also aware of the reporters and police. But all I knew at that moment was the lifeline I was holding onto for everything I was worth. I heard Edward's name being cried out, and it took a while for me to realize that it was my voice calling out for him.

_**E**_

_**Sum 41 "With me"**_

I paced up and down in my cell once again, running my fingers along the bars. A glance at the clock showed that it was barely time for dawn. Somehow, I had managed to pass out for a few hours but as soon as I woke, the worry started all over again. I was sure I would have heard something by now, either from my parents or from Jasper. There had been some commotion late last night, but my questions to the guards just earned me some evasive looks. Once or twice, I thought I heard a familiar voice, but I think it was more like I was so on edge I was hearing shit.

The hall gate slid open but I paid it little attention. That damn thing had opened and closed all friggen night. I had almost gotten used to the noise. I was surprised to say the least when a gruff voice spoke to me.

"Hey man."

I turned and looked at Emmett. He was dressed in casual clothes, looking a little worn around the edges. He wasn't smiling like usual, and that made me step forward and my heart trip over itself.

"Bella?" I felt sweat break out along my scalp and I immediately started praying to whoever the hell was listening, making bargains and promises. Emmett shook his head. "She's alright. She wasn't sure if you would want her to come in here or not."

I closed my eyes in relief. Whatever was happening next, knowing Bella was safe made me care about it just a little less. When I opened my eyes, Emmett was still looking at me in that pensive way. "What's wrong then?"

Emmett looked down at his feet and scuffed the floor with his shoes, shoving his hands in his pockets. I was about to start yelling when he finally answered.

"It's me…I'm wrong." He looked up to meet my eyes. "I fucked up. I should have stood up for you when you were arrested. I should have told them about Newton or that you were with me."

I tried to stop him. "It wouldn't have done me any good to have you stuck in here for lying to the cops."

"Still," he stepped up close to the door, one large hand wrapped around a bar. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, how sorry we all are…"

I waved a hand at him. "Stop, don't worry about it. It's done and over." Shit was out of my hands now.

Emmett gave me a small smirk, "Not quite yet it isn't." I narrowed my eyes at him and his grin widened. "I'm not going to dick around any more. How would you like to bust the hell out of here?"

He looked back towards the entrance and I tapped his fist. "Hey, what the fuck are you talking about? They post bail already?"

Emmett turned back and his trademark grin was finally in place. "Even better. Newton is taking your place in this dump."

I grabbed at the bars trying to keep my world steady. This couldn't be true; I am not that damn lucky. "Are you shitting me?" Emmett laughed loudly.

"Not this time, dude. There is a ton of proof that Newton and his little butt-buddy James set you up. They were brought in for processing last night and now they are being officially charged for all the shit that you were going to be charged with, plus a little extra."

I let myself absorb what he just said. Not only am I finally getting out of this cell, but all the charges were being dropped. How the hell did they get all this evidence against Newton? When I asked Emmett that very question, his grin faded and his eyes became evasive. "I think I'll leave that story to your lawyer, or to your parents, or…."

I banged my hand against the bars. "Tell me!" I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I needed to hear the words. I had to know.

Emmett sighed and scrubbed a hand over his short hair. "See, Bella came up with this whole 'plan' thing. She set him up so that practically the whole damn athletic department heard his confession, not to mention a few cops, the local news team…."

"Jesus, Emmett," I was waiting for him to get to the part that was making him hesitate. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "Tell me," I repeated quietly.

He gave me a resigned look. "Dammit, I am glad you are still on the other side of these bars. Okay, basically Bella talked Newton into meeting her in the press box before practice and she got him to spill his guts over the announcement system."

I couldn't believe it, but I knew it was true. I knew she had done something outrageous and the fact she placed herself anywhere near that son of a bitch made my stomach clench painfully. I needed to see her.

"Do I want to know how she managed to get him to do that?" I spoke through gritted teeth. Emmett winced and that was all the answer I needed. I swore under my breath and looked everywhere but at Emmett for a second. "Did he hurt her?" I swear to God I was ready to find that shit-head and go down for murder at this point.

Emmett didn't answer right away and I looked at him, my gaze searching. He sighed again. "Physically she's okay."

"Physically?" My voice was deadpan, the sick feeling inside me getting worse. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin with the need to get to her. Emmett got anxious looking when I started pacing again, my steps loud with my anxiety. He and I both looked down the hall when the door opened again. My lawyer and my parents were making their way to me, a smile on everyone's face. Emmett turned back to me. "Listen man, before you bust out of here you need to know that she never gave up on you and she was real upset with the way she reacted that night."

"I don't give a damn about any of that now!" My lawyer motioned for a guard to join the group as they approached me. I stood impatiently as the guard unlocked my cell. I dimly heard my lawyer mentioning something about the charges being dropped and a special arrangement to get me released on a weekend, but I was dashing through the opening as soon as the guard pulled on the door. My mother and father were calling after me and I ignored them.

The institutional white walls blurred past me as I turned through the hallway entrance and out into the waiting area. I saw heads pop up and looking suspicious as I ran through the station's lobby. I glanced at each of those faces briefly, not lingering because they weren't the face I was looking for. I pushed out the double doors into the early morning light. There were several people waiting out there.

The reporters were hard to ignore. The lights from the cameras and the shouts of their questions made me stop for a moment. I squinted past them and saw Alice, Jasper and Rosalie standing near Emmett's Jeep. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. I knew if they were all here, then Bella…

I moved in a gap between reporters and then I saw her. She was standing under a cluster of trees across the street, watching me. I stopped again, this time to drink in her appearance. She had her arms crossed across her middle. Her hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders, moving gently in the soft breeze. Her black coat made her face look pale, and it was even more so than usual. I could see her tired eyes from where I stood, dark circles underneath them. I didn't see any other marks on her and the relief at seeing her whole made me weak.

_She's beautiful…so beautiful._

Bella was watching my face closely and she bit her lip. I knew she was waiting for my reaction. With the way we left things…the way _I_ left things…her wariness was completely understandable. I wanted to erase the past few days. I wanted to crawl into bed with her and never leave. I wanted to make sure I never saw that crushed, hurt look on her face again. I wanted to protect her from anything else life may throw our way.

I was halfway across the street before I realized I had taken that first step.

Bella's arms dropped to her sides, and whatever she saw in my face as I approached her caused her to start moving. She didn't walk to me…she stumbled off the curb running and practically flew into my arms. I grabbed her and lifted her off the ground, pulling her in close and tucking her head into my neck. One hand fit to the back of her head and the other wrapped around her waist to anchor her to me. I felt her sobs vibrating against my chest and her hands clutched desperately at my shoulders. My breath came in and out in gasps as the emotion rushed over me. I breathed in her scent, burying my face into her hair. "God, Bella," I managed to gasp out. She was mumbling something over and over into my skin and I turned my head just a fraction to hear her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Edward." Her voice was full of pain and tears, and I couldn't stand it. I maintained my grip on her, but turned my head to find her lips, telling her without words what I was feeling in that moment. Our mouths moved in perfect sync, reminding us of what we had and what we almost lost.

I could have told her how there was nothing she should be sorry for. I definitely should have yelled at her for putting herself in danger with Newton. A large part of me wanted to tell her how I was going to marry her and never leave her side.

"I love you….I love you so much," was all that I told her before being silenced by her demanding lips. In those few words were everything that I wanted to say and more. When she told me she loved me too, my world was suddenly put to right. I could finally breathe, but there was no need to say anything else.

Traffic backed up, reporters surrounded us and out friends smiled and cried. But Bella and I just held each other and began our lives again.

**No this is not the end, but its close. I think one more chapter plus an epilogue.**

**First and foremost, I need to thank my peeps over at Twitter (yes, I have joined the Twitter nation) they are the BEST group of people a girl could ask for. You need to stop by and thank them for the motivation. They are the only reason this chapter got out as soon as it did.**

**Now, about this chapter. I had this whole reunion scene in my head for months, imagining what it would look like when Bella jumped into his arms. I am picturing something like the Volterra scene in New Moon. But when writing it I am not really satisfied with how I described it. I hope this chapter is better than I think it is, because its one of the most important ones.**

**Another special shout out to Beegurl13 who reviews every chapter and tells me her favorite lines. I love reading your reviews!**

**Thanks to everyone else for getting me over 900 reviews! Woohoo!**

**Songs on my profile. Twitter with me if you want ( wolfpgirl)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: One last "I don't own" *sniff***

**Songs on my profile.**

**Chapter 27**

_**B**__i_

When I first saw him as he walked out of those doors, I wasn't sure what to expect. I thought that if he just turned and walked away, I would have deserved it. I should have gotten anger, disapproval…but what I saw on his face was nothing of the sort. His look showed nothing but relief, concern and absolute love. I was already running on fumes when I showed up to the courthouse that morning, so when he took me into his arms and held me tight I thought I was going to implode with relief. Edward held me in his arms and didn't put me down for the rest of the day. He carried me to the car, into the house and up to bed.

No one bothered to try to speak to us when we got back to the house. His parents had mentioned to Alice that they would call later, but no one actually came to talk to us until the next day. Food magically appeared in front of the door so we didn't leave the upstairs area of the house for over twenty four hours.

Edward lay down next to where he set me on my bed. I kept my eyes on him as he moved to pull me close, drinking in the beautiful sight of his face that I thought I would never be allowed to see again. He seemed to be doing the same thing, but also using his fingers to trail blazing paths over my skin. His hands were shaking slightly, and I couldn't help but to grab his hand and kiss the rough fingertips. He had a look on his face, one of deep pain and then he was bending down to rest his forehead against mine, eyes closing. I kept mine open and moved so that our lips touched as well. My nose crinkled as his three day scruff scratched my skin. "Don't you want to shave or something? I know that they probably didn't let you do much of that in there." Truth be told, I didn't want him to ever move from that spot, but I pushed that thought away. His comfort seemed more important right now. He sighed and gave me a small smile against my mouth. "I suppose your right," he leaned back to give me a stern look, "but when I get back, we are going to talk."

I swallowed and nodded and then he walked to the bathroom across the hall. I fought tooth and nail against the exhaustion pulling at my consciousness. The lack of sleep over the past several days was catching up to me, but I refused to succumb to it until Edward was next to me again. I had some irrational fear that he would disappear if I didn't have him in my sight again soon. Just before I vaulted out of the bed and into the bathroom to bombard Edward, he dashed back into my bedroom, towel around his waist and clean clothes clutched in his hand. He was clean shaven and little more bright-eyed after his shower, and it was like nothing ever happened, like he never left.

He came over to me once again and wrapped his arms around me as we lay on the bed. Now that the relief from his return had passed, the anxiety of the promised upcoming conversation took its place. I lay on my side, waiting for him to start his questioning. Edward silently reached out with his fingertips and traced the area underneath my eyes. "You need to rest." He pulled me close so that I was laying on his muscled chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Go to sleep, we'll talk later."

It was all I needed to trip off that edge into oblivion.

*************

Later that night when we had both rested, Edward and I had our talk. I tried to explain to him why I reacted the way I did when he was arrested but he quieted me, very thoroughly I might add, with his lips. He also tried to apologize for the things he said to me in the kitchen that night, but it turns out my lips work pretty good at shutting him up too.

What we _did_ talk about was what happened with Mike, and he wasn't wavering on that. I tried to keep it as vague as possible but he wheedled out most of the details from me anyways. When I told him about going into a strip club to talk to him the first time, he looked torn between disapproving and amused, like he was trying to fight a smile. Looking back on it, I bet I looked so out of place in that establishment. But no one was smiling when I talked about Mike's confession. He had to turn away from me for a moment to regain his composure, which was fine because I was having trouble meeting his eyes anyways. When he turned back to me, I had wiped away almost all of my tears and was able to look at him. The intense look he gave me made my stomach clench. He half-pulled me off the bed and held me close, almost as close as he did earlier in front of the court house.

"Bella, I…" his voice was broken and I clenched my arms tighter around him. "I would have rather rotted in that jail for the rest of my life than have you go through a second of that night. You should have let the police handle it. The thought of his hands on you…"

"Please," I begged him in a whimper. "Edward, I would do it over and over again if it meant that we would end up right here, just like this." He cupped my face in his palms, a pained expression marring his otherwise perfect features. I placed my own hands over his and continued, giving him a small smile. "You have already saved me, it was time I returned the favor."

Edward rained kisses all over my face, murmuring how much he loved me between kisses. I ran my fingers over his chest and stomach and rejoiced at the feel of him under my palms again. Just as he reached the underside of my jaw, my stomach decided to let itself be heard. I groaned and Edward chuckled lightly.

"I know we should get up but I don't want move away from you."

I smiled at him, "Forever sounds good to me." Edward shook his head, "Not nearly long enough."

Luckily, we found our first "magical" meal sitting outside our room so we didn't have to go far. It was cold and probably left there hours ago, but I inhaled it. Edward watched me with a frown. "When was the last time you really ate?" I looked down at my plate and shrugged. "When was the last time _you_ ate?" I countered. He just rolled his eyes in true Edward fashion and continued to scarf down everything in front of him.

That night we made love like it was our first time, slowly and full of tenderness. It felt like we had been apart for months rather than days. When our next meal made its appearance, we ate naked.

The next day we had lunch with his parents and it was wonderful to see him with his family. I am not sure if it was just the progress they had made to each other over the phone, or if it was the recent events that changed things, but they laughed and talked for hours about everything that has happened in their lives over the past year. They didn't ask me many questions about my past, and I had a feeling Edward probably told them something about it, but they didn't treat me any differently. Carlisle was careful not to touch me in any way, but Esme hugged me and kissed my cheek frequently. It was very bittersweet being with them. I always felt out of place in family groups, but they were determined to not let me get away.

Despite our need to spend some more time alone, we got pulled into dinner with the roommates. Edward and I both thanked all of them for their help and a toast was made to friendship and love…I may have cried a little. But I was all grins when Alice told Edward he was getting kicked out of his room. Apparently she needed to turn that room into an extended closet/music room and make space in her own closet for Jasper's stuff. Edward clapped him on the back and I hugged Alice, glad to see her so happy.

The rest of the week went like that…visiting with his parents, hanging out with the roommates and then enjoying time alone in _our_ room. I loved seeing his music notes and biology books sitting out next to my journals and novels. I hadn't started writing again just yet, but I had the urge to start soon. Life was getting back to normal…better that normal, and was finally in the right frame of mind to put my thoughts to paper again.

Edward's parents were overjoyed to find out he was majoring in medicine again…with a minor in music as well. It would make his schedule completely full, especially with football but I had no doubt in my mind that he could do it. We would take whatever time we could get with each other and not waste a minute of it.

_**E**_

_**"It's My Turn to Fly" The Urge**_

I stumbled back three steps and then spun out of the hands of the defensive player. A quick glance showed that my intended receiver was being heavily blocked and the other receiver was not anywhere near where I needed him to be.

_Looks like I am running. _

My breath was coming out in puffs from my helmet's mask. The air was crisp and cold, but my blood heated me from the inside out. The sweat would be freezing against my skin when I finally took a break, but for now I relished in the intensity of the moment. My hands gripped the ball and tucked it in close to my body. The opponents, seeing my intentions, started to swarm in to block my path. My guys did me right…one by one the opponents were pushed out of my way and I danced through the brief openings. It took eleven yards before someone dove for my waist and finally brought me down. It wasn't a first down, but it was damn close.

I got a hand up and quickly trotted over to join the huddle. I glanced at the clock and made a note of how much time we had left in the half. The guys listened and nodded as I relayed the next play. We were on our last down so we needed to make it count. With a war cry and a clap, we broke up the huddle and formed the line. I shouted down the left and then the right, flexing my fingers and shifting my weight back to receive the ball. I dashed backwards several steps and locked onto my target. My receiver zipped between two defenders and spun around to watch for my toss. The ball was already in the air, my reactions and movements were second nature by now. The ball spiraled beautifully and thumped right into the waiting hands. He was brought down right away, but we had our first down. Our half of the stadium erupted in cheers and when we scored another touchdown, they were chanting my name. You couldn't wipe the damn grin off my face.

Emmett thumped my helmet as we passed each other on the field. I gratefully sunk down onto the bench, waiting for the coach to come over and go over some details. Someone handed me a Gator-aid and I tried not to gulp it down as I turned and looked to the stands behind me. Several rows back directly in center was my family…all of them. My mother and father had bought a whole section of seats and reserved spaces for Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and of course Bella. My parents waved excitedly at me and I returned the wave. My gaze shifted to Bella, who was sitting next to my mother. She was huddled under a thick blanket pulled up to her neck. Her head was covered in a knit cap that was Husky purple. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were rosy due to the cold…

And she took my breath away.

I winked at her and her cheeks got even redder. She grinned at me and my coach had to practically punch my arm to get my attention. I reluctantly turned around to focus on the task at hand.

I had worked hard and long to get to this moment. It wasn't my first bowl game, but it's the first one I feel like I earned with everything I had. My family was cheering behind me and playing beside me. I knew no matter what happened with the game that I would be satisfied that I gave it everything I had.

But it felt damn good to win that night.

Once again I was rewarded with Bella's arms thrown around me. I twirled her around and melted under the spell of her laughter. My parents were next in line to receive hugs. It was the first time I had hugged my father in over a year, and it was right up there with the greatest moments of the evening.

But what took the cake was the congratulations I got later that evening from Bella. Since the game was out of town, we all booked hotel rooms to stay overnight with our significant others. We all had gathered in the restaurant downstairs and animatedly talked about the high points of the game. It hadn't been an easy win, but Emmett and I were friggen proud of walking away with a 'W'.

When we eventually made our way back upstairs, Bella had muttered something about needed a shower and then locked herself in the bathroom….for a very long time. I started to get worried after a while, thinking of food poisoning or something else that would keep her in the bathroom that long, especially when I never heard the water turned on. I started to push myself off the bed when the door finally opened. I opened my mouth to ask if she was okay…and the words died in my throat.

Bella stood in the doorway, illuminated by the bathroom lights behind her. I made myself start my ogling at the top of her head and work my way down. Her hair was free from the knot she had it tossed up in earlier and it fell in soft, unruly waves around her shoulders and back. That beautiful hair bounced around the top of some sort of knee-knocking lingerie. Her breasts were lifted high and just waited for me to claim them, spilling out from her top. She wore matching panties that I once heard described as "boy-shorts" and they were the last thing I saw on her body….until I got to her feet.

_Oh…fuck me._

Her shoes matched her outfit and the height of the heels made her legs seem to go on for miles. All that she wore matched my purple football jersey. Right there, standing in the bathroom doorway of my hotel room, was the sexiest thing to ever walk this planet. All the sudden, I got a brief view of her ass clad in lace before the bathroom door slammed shut. I admit it still took me a few more minutes of deep breathing before I could move to shaking legs and make my way to the bathroom. I wonder how long I was staring at her before she decided to high tail it back behind closed doors.

I knocked softly on the door. "Bella?" There was no answer. I tried for the doorknob. "Bella? Come out sweetheart." Before I could turn the knob, the lock clicked into place. I stared at the closed door in confusion. Bella's small voice came through the wood. "Can you get my t-shirt and sweats please?" I leaned my forehead against the door, knowing she was leaning on it from the other side. "Do I have to? I was really enjoying what you are already wearing." It dawned on me that I _really_ must have been sitting there with my mouth hanging open for a long time and it made her uncomfortable when I didn't say anything, so I tried my best to reassure her now.

"Bella, please come out? I would really, really like to see that outfit again." I put a good effort into my begging and I smiled to hear her huff in frustration. She mumbled something about "stupid Alice and her stupid ideas" and I bit my lip to keep my laughter in. The last thing she needed was her oaf of a boyfriend laughing at her discomfort, no matter how cute it was. And truth be told, I was fucking _dying_ to see that lingerie on her again. I gave it one more try.

"You have to believe that I have never…._never_…seen anything more beautiful, more sexy in my entire life. You totally blew me away by dressing like that and I would really like a chance to show you how much I appreciate your effort."

After a few quiet moments, I heard the lock click and the door opened just enough for Bella to peek out. She was worrying her lower lip and looking up at me with beautifully innocent eyes. Her face was flushed, of course. "You really like it?"

I didn't try to open the door any further, but I did take advantage of the room I had been given by leaning in and claiming her mouth. It was strangely erotic, touching her only with my lips and tongue. I continued to work her mouth until her breaths starting coming in gasps and then I pulled back. My forehead rested against hers and I felt dizzy at the feel of her breath over my face.

"Bella, I love_ you_…and when you add some hot wrapping to an already hot package, it drives me wild."

_**Red Jumpsuit Apparatus "Your Guardian Angel"**_

The door opened a little wider and I carefully kept her distracted with my lips as she revealed herself again. I let my fingertips brush her waist and led her out further into the room, away from that damned bathroom. She tottered unsteadily on her high shoes but I wisely kept the laughter to myself. Her heels put her at the perfect kissing height and I took advantage of the situation and made out with her like we were teenagers. I memorized her lips with my own, like a blind man reading Braille. I almost didn't want it to end but we had reached the bed and I was eager to explore the rest of her.

I moved my kisses along her skin, not giving her a moment to think clearly and run for the hills again. My body tightened and shivered at the soft sighs and moans coming from her lips. Her pulse felt rapid underneath my lips and tongue. I took my time getting to her chest and peeked down to look at the glorious swell of cleavage presented to me.

_Thank you God, Alice, and whoever made this fucking fantastic outfit._

The animal in me wanted to rip that cloth apart and attack her breasts, but I reeled myself in and instead gave the swells slow, open-mouthed kisses. It was worth it…her breathing was beyond erratic and her hands moved to my hair, clenching them in frustration.

"Edward," she breathed. "Please…"

I looked up to her face, resting my ear over her heart and smiled. "Not a chance, love. You started this by putting on that sinful outfit, and I am going to take my time and enjoy every second." I ran my fingers along her naked thighs, causing her to shiver. "And believe me, so will you."

Bella rested her hands on my shoulders as I sank to my knees. My hands skimmed up the back of her legs and came to rest lightly on her ass. The lacey panties she was wearing molded to her curves and I traced my fingertips along the edges. Her eyes closed and her head fell back. "Oh….God…"

_Fuck…I was hardly touching her…_

While my fingers teased from the back, my mouth went to work on the front. I ran my tongue along the waist band on the front and placed hot kisses on the bit of skin showing at her waist. When her fingers dug into my shoulders almost painfully, I decided to take the game up a level and ran my tongue over her lace covered slit. She gasped and bucked in shock and I grabbed her ass to hold her steady. When I did it a second time she gasped again, but kept the thrashing to a minimum. I nuzzled her with my nose, easily finding her clit by her reactions alone. When her moans indicated her extreme pleasure I stopped at that spot and latched on, sucking her through the cloth.

My fingers moved slightly downwards and reached between her legs. She carefully stepped a little wider for me without having to be told and I smiled against her slit. I rewarded her by stroking her wetness from behind, slipping my fingers under her panties. When her knees buckled I grabbed at her waist again and stood up. She was quivering in my arms and I had to admit that I was close to shaking with need as well…and I was still fully clothed.

I ran my hands over her sides and back, frowning down at her. "How the hell do you get this thing open?"

Bella smiled and turned around and I was greeted with a whole shit load of ribbon zig-zagging up her back. I growled in frustration and Bella giggled. "Alice had to help me put it on earlier." It took a minute for it to sink in, but then I cupped my hands on her shoulders and leaned around so I could see her face.

"Are you telling me you have been wearing this all day underneath your clothes?"

Bella nodded, biting her lip to keep from grinning. That was all it took and I fucking flipped out.

I swallowed her gasp as I crushed my lips to hers, spinning her around to hold her as tight as possible. She struggled to pull back just enough to help me pull my shirt over my head. I was torn between burning alive as her hands raked over my chest and concentrating on getting her top off. I finally got the bow undone and with absolutely no regard for that wonderful cloth what-so-ever, I basically ripped off the ribbons. I heard something tear and worried that Bella might get mad, but she was too busy struggling to get what was left off of her. When she was just in her underwear and shoes I gently lay her back on the bed so that her legs were bent over the side. She reached for my belt but I beat her to it and soon I was naked and eager in front of her. I smirked as she licked her lips and stared at my dick.

I bent over and gently pulled her lacey underwear down her legs. When she went to kick off her shoes I placed a hand on her knee. "For the love of…" I had to swallow before I could continue my request. "Please, _please_ keep those shoes on." I swear I saw her eyes darken as she smiled and nodded. I pulled her to the edge of the bed and she reached for me. While I wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with her hot little hands on my shaft, I knew that this night was going to end too fucking early if she kept that shit up. I leaned over her and kissed her deeply before pulling back to look her straight in the eyes. "I love you," I whispered and she placed her hands on my face.

"I love you too."

We stared into each others eyes as I slowly slid into her, our moans echoing in the room. Her heat surrounded me, grasping me tightly and I finally had to burying my face in the crook of her neck, closing my eyes tightly and trying desperately to hold on a little longer. That shit became impossible when she wrapped her legs around my waist and I felt the press of her heels on my lower back.

"Fuck!" I growled and started thrusting wildly into her. She clawed at my back, meeting my force with some of her own. Things were getting out of control for me so I desperately reached down to flick her clit while turning my head to nibble on her earlobe. The combination had her squealing and thrashing underneath me. I ran my tongue along her earlobe and blew gently before sucking it into my mouth, my thumb rubbing circles on her throbbing nub. In the heat of the moment I somehow found myself throwing one of her legs up over my arm, gripping her sexy-as-hell shoes and deepening the angle of my thrust. She was so wet and tight, and I was throbbing with the need to explode.

"So close…ugh…Bella…" I chanted over and over, not knowing what the hell I was saying. Bella didn't need any more encouragement. My name spilled from those luscious lips and she arched against me, bucking wildly and clenching my dick in a vise grip…I could hardly move…

And then her name was joined with mine in a yell that I am sure will get us reported to the front desk. I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to me as I pumped into her a few more times, enjoying every second of that incredible rush. My mind came back to me slowly and when I regained sensations in my skin, I could feel Bella's fingers running up and down my back. I didn't want to move, but I was also thinking that crushing her would not be very romantic.

Somehow I managed to move us to the top of the bed before collapsing into a heap of post-coital boneless mass. I summoned up enough energy to turn my head and look over at Bella. She was on her side and was looking at me. Her smile was satisfied and so damn beautiful. I took inventory of her, checking to make sure everything was okay. Her hair was a tousled mess….perfect in my opinion. Her lips were swollen and red and I licked mine while looking at them. There were stubble burns on her jaw and some brand new marks on her neck. Her breasts were moving with her deep breathing, looking too damned tempting. Her legs were bent and I followed the line of her waist down to those endless legs….and stopped at her feet.

She was still wearing the shoes.

I moaned at the sight. "Sweet Jesus…" and with a new found surge of energy I rolled over and began ravishing her once again.

***********************************************

_**Josh Kelley "Opposite of Me"**_

Once again I found myself on stage at Volt. I was finally going to play the song I was supposed to play for Bella the night I got arrested. I did all the right things again, not wanting to cheat her out of a special night. I sent her flowers again, took her out to dinner at the nicest place in Seattle and brought her back to the club. I was reluctant to leave her side, but I promised myself it would be worth it.

I stroked my guitar, soothing my nerves. I could feel the slight imperfections marring the wood, but it made me smile. This guitar would always be special to me because of Bella. And even though my parents were helping me financially again, I wouldn't buy another one. I would, however, use my reinstated resources to spoil the hell out of Bella…if she would let me.

Jasper's song was getting ready to come to a close. I offered to help him as a backup, but he wanted to give me a chance to collect myself before I went on. I was pretty fucking grateful for that, because it still wasn't easy for me. I waited around the corner and smiled as he sang over Alice's cheers. The song he picked was perfect for her.

Finally, there was a loud round of applause and Jasper thanked the crowd. After a second he peeked behind the corner at me. He had a huge grin on his face, "You ready, man?" He was my backup on the electric guitar and had a couple guys on the other instruments. I must have nodded or said something, because he was suddenly moving back onto the stage. I didn't start moving until I heard him speak into the microphone.

"Give it up for my boy. You all know Edward, let's hear it!" So unlike the last few times I had been on stage, my introduction was met tonight by a thundering round of applause and cheering. I walked out on stage with the same frame of mind I would any football game….ready to take on the world.

I smiled and held a hand up in greeting to the loud audience. There were a few whistles, several cat calls and someone from the back yelled, "You da MAN Cullen!" I laughed into the microphone and the cheering started up again. "Thank you all so much," I said when they finally quieted down. I was standing this time and I adjusted the guitar strap to rest comfortably on my shoulder. The pick in my hands felt like an extension of my body, the wood of the guitar warm against my abdomen. I felt like I was in Bella's arms, comfortable and happy….finally.

I looked up into the dark room and leaned in towards the microphone. "I wrote this song for my Bella." I looked over at her excited face and winked. I was thrilled to see her blush and smile and the crowd "awed" their response. I made myself turn away from her and the rest of the roommates as I nodded back at Jasper.

_**Lifehouse "Everything"**_

My fingers moved fluidly over the guitar strings, strumming out a tune I had practiced a hundred times in the past few weeks. It was what I heard when Bella and I made love.

_"Find me here, speak to me. I want to feel you, I need to hear you."_

While I sang the words, I tried to remember to let my eyes move about the room, but I kept locking gazes with Bella. Everything I had was drawn to her.

_"You are the light that's leading me to the place where I found peace again."_

I didn't need to look down at my guitar to play the song I already knew by heart… even before I even wrote it down. Bella had a palm placed over her chest and the other wrapped around her waist. She was sitting in relative darkness, but I could see the shine in her eyes clearly. Her smile and the intensity of her stare made me relax and get excited all in the same moment.

_"You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the life to my soul. You are my purpose, you're everything."_

I stepped up closer to the microphone, closer to Bella. I wasn't smiling anymore. I was nothing but intense at telling her, telling the whole damn world that I was nothing without that beautiful woman sitting in front of me.

_"And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you. Will you tell me how could it be any better than this?"_

When the first tear slipped down her cheek, I felt my heart tighten. Alice was right there, putting an arm around Bella and resting her chin on Bella's shoulder. She was looking at me, smiling knowingly. Bella reached up and grasped her hand.

_"You calmed the storms and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall."_

_"You still me heart and you take my breath away. Would you take me in, take me deeper now?"_

I tried to look away from Bella, I honestly did. But I was in her spell now. She had me locked in and it was pure instinct that kept me playing smoothly. Jasper played seamlessly along with me and the drums kicked up just in time. I leaned back from the microphone so that I could yell out what I was feeling, finally able to express all the love I had for her.

_"Cause you're all I want, you're all I need. You're everything, everything…"_

I bounced slightly to the beat and moved with the rhythm of my strumming.

"_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?"_

I closed my eyes briefly to repeat the chorus and felt a piece of myself come together as I sang. When I opened them I immediately looked for Bella, but she was no longer in her seat…she was moving to the stage.

I sang the chorus one more time and then she was reaching up towards me. I moved away from the microphone and reached down for her arms, pulling her up to me. There was no hesitation on her face, no fear at being in front of all these people. I knew what she wanted, it was written on her face. I knew her like I knew myself.

Jasper picked up the vocals and they kept playing in the background as I moved my guitar and pulled the love of my life up against me. The crowd started cheering before our lips even touched. I held her face with my hands, more to steady her than anything. She was grasping at my shoulders and pulling me closer. She answered my song with one of her own. The crowd cheered and the band played, but we were already lost in our own music.

**Well…..that's it kids! **

**I Finally got a story over 1000 Reviews!!!! I am on top of the world!**

**I will post a little epilogue soon but LYIO is finished. I am friggen crying right now…seriously.**

**Before you say anything, I know "Everything" has been used in a ton of other fics, but honestly I have been planning to use that song since I started this story and that was before I read the other stories that used it. I decided fuck it and I used it anyways. There was no other song I wanted to use.**

**Also, "Guardian Angel" yeah…all over the FF world. ITS MY FAVORITE SONG! So I made Quarterward and Bella get busy to it…so sue me. (don't really, I'm broke)**

"**Its my Turn to Fly"—I know it's a kinda corny song from that Titan AE movie back in the 90's but when I hear it I think Edward playing football….so there. :P**

**I want to thank all of you who have taken time to review each of my chapters. I have had so many recently and have tried to reply to each of you at least once. Thank you so much! *hug***

**My story is mentioned on a few websites: **

**http://robsterbation (dot) blogspot (dot) com**

**http://www**** (dot) freewebs (dot) com/amazingtwilightpodcast/**

**Coldplaywhore recommended this story in her story Cabin Fever (awesome completed fic by the way!)**

**Two more stories I want to recommend: A Stable Romance by Iadorepugs and Poughkeepsie by (my addiction).**

**To all my girls on Twitter THANK YOU! You guys gave me the motivation to keep going!**

**There are a hundred other things I want to say but I will save it. I doubt I will do a sequel to this story but I am tossing around an idea for a sequel to Wilderness. Maybe a one-shot of something else.**

**If anyone hasn't seen the sneak peeks from comicon….SEE THEM! I spent the entire morning watching them and completely freaking out!**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**~Jodi**


	28. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Thank you Stephenie Meyer for letting me borrow your characters…once again.**

**Epilogue**

_**E**_

"**Colorful" The Verve Pipe**

My keys clinked together noisily as I unlocked the front door and I winced, slowing my movements to make my entrance a little quieter. The entryway light was still on, despite the unbelievably late hour. My Bella always left a light on for me…and it made me smile every time.

I rolled my scrub-clad shoulders in weariness as I trudged into the living room. Our two-story house was modest, but spacious. That not only meant room for my new piano but it also meant it was more room for a mess. We tried to keep it to a minimum, but honestly we were both some damn busy and tired most of the time that we just let it slide. Fuck it… this was _our _home.

I set my keys down on the mantle at the usual spot next to our wedding portrait. I always paused at it, taking in the emotions that picture always produced. We were so damn happy that day. Bella and I would have been happy to have a small, intimate wedding by ourselves on a beach somewhere but once she told my mother of the engagement, the two of them quickly bonded over decorations and dresses. Alice and Rosalie pitched in as well and next thing you know I am standing at the end of an aisle surrounded by tens of thousands of flowers and hundreds of candles. At least, that's what I was told it looked like. To be perfectly honest, all I saw was my girl in white. Our picture was taken while we were caught up in each other's eyes, smiling softly to each other and oblivious to everyone else. I flicked my gaze to the other portraits on the mantle…among them were Jasper and Alice's wedding portrait and an empty frame, waiting for Rosalie and Emmett to fill it. Rosalie refused to be married while pregnant but they can't seem to keep their hands off each other long enough to accomplish the task. They are expecting baby number three in the spring and the wedding is tentatively set for the following fall.

The smell of dinner lingered in the air and my stomach growled appreciatively. As much as I wanted to go straight to the oven and devour whatever wonderful concoction Bella whipped up tonight, I walked right past it. My destination was upstairs, where I heard music playing quietly. I recognized the song immediately and my smile turned into a grin. Bella was playing her favorite songs again…all the ones I have ever written for her. Since I was deep in my fellowship in the orthopedic ward at Harborview Medical Center, I haven't had a lot of time to compose something new for her. She never complained, but she didn't know that one was currently in the works in preparation for our fifth anniversary.

I bypassed our bedroom and the guestrooms and headed to the end of the hall into the office. The door was open and the light was on and I quietly walked in. Bella was sitting back in a large chair at her desk. She was clicking through some documents on the large computer screen in front of her and didn't notice me just yet. There were papers scattered on the desk and to anyone else it may look like a disorganized disaster, but I knew that everything was exactly where she wanted it. On a shelf next to her desk were her three completed novels. She was hard at work on the fourth one in the series and I knew that if she had an idea it didn't matter what time it was; I would find her in here doing research or typing away. She was happy with her career and so was her publisher. Three best-sellers will do that to you. As long as she was happy, then I was as well. It also didn't hurt that all three of her novels were dedicated to me.

I cleared my throat quietly to let her know that I was in the room and she turned her head back to smile at me. Bella's hair was pulled back into a messy knot with strands falling around her face. Her eyes were a little red and tired looking and she was wearing her "thinking" clothes; gray sweats and my old football jersey. She had to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

_I fucking love her "thinking" clothes_.

My tired legs found new energy and I marched right up to her. I cupped her face in my palms, cradling them gently while I leaned down to caress her lips with my own. I nibbled a little on her bottom lip and grinned when I heard her sigh. I pulled back and almost groaned when I saw desire darkening her eyes. I gave her one more kiss before finally speaking. "Hey beautiful."

She kissed one of my palms and gave me a tired smile. "Hey yourself, stud. How was your afternoon?" I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and chuckled lightly. "You do know that it's almost morning, right?" She blinked at me a few times before looking at the clock display on the computer. "Oh."

I reached over and turned off her computer monitor, careful not to disturb anything on her desk. I spun her chair around and knelt down in front of her. She buried her fingers in my hair and massaged my scalp and I closed my eyes as the shivers ran down my spine. Before I totally succumbed to her and forgot what my own name was, I opened my eyes and kissed her ring finger, smiling up at her. "You need to get some rest, but first I have to tell you something." She gave me a crooked grin and looked at me suspiciously, "What is it?"

I grinned and leaned over to kiss her nose. "I got it."

Bella paused for a second and then her face lit up. "The position with the university? Are you serious?" Her voice rose with excitement and I kissed her to silence her.

_Works every time._

She threw her small arms around my neck and hugged me tight and I wrapped my own arms around her waist and laughed into her neck. It felt like in that moment we had everything we could ever want. Bella had found her passion with writing and I was applying my love of sports to my own passion. The University of Washington had accepted me as the football team doctor for the Huskies. Bella was the first one I told, but I knew I would be getting a congratulatory phone call from Emmett tomorrow. After all, as the new head coach he was one of the first ones to know anyways.

Bella and I stayed like that for a few minutes. She whispered things in my ear about how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. As a doctor, I knew the human heart couldn't physically burst from happiness…but mine was fucking close.

I pulled us to our feet and gave Bella one more squeeze before releasing her and pointing her towards the door. I kept my hands on her shoulders as we moved towards our bedroom. I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I know I said you need rest, but I sincerely hope you aren't taking me very seriously on that." My hands moved from her shoulders to her hips and I caressed her through the jersey. Bella gave me a sly look over her shoulder. "I think I may have a second wind coming on."

_Oh….fuck yeah._

I turned her around and growled as I pushed her against the wall outside our bedroom. Bella whimpered as my mouth crashed down onto hers. Her legs immediately came up to wrap around my hips and the scrubs I wore made it impossible to hide how much I wanted her. She clutched at my shoulders and ground herself against me once…twice…and then I had to pull away. I needed a moment, or we wouldn't make it into the bed. I rested my forehead against hers and smiled down at her. "How long do you think we have?"

Bella licked her lips and I bit my own to keep from pouncing on her again. "Well, tonight was a late night, so we should be good for a few more hours." I grinned and thought of all the possibilities that a couple of hours could bring. I kissed her and turned her towards our room. "I am going to lock up and be back in a few minutes, love. You go ahead." Bella smiled at me and winked as she gave a little dance twirl into the dark room.

_Evil, teasing, tempting woman. _

I stood in the hall for a moment, taking a few deep breaths and trying to calm myself down. Downstairs I turned off the oven, the lights and locked all the doors. By the time I went back upstairs I was much calmer. Before going back to our bedroom, I paused at the door across from ours. I quietly opened it and peeked inside the dimly lit room. The _Finding Nemo _nightlight guided me to the crib nestled in the corner. I put my arms on the rails and leaned down, feeling that heart-bursting sensation come over me again as I looked down at my little girl.

She was lying on her stomach, her knees tucked under her so that her little butt was stuck up in the air. Her head was turned my way so that I could see the peaceful look on her face. Her thumb was in front of her open mouth and I almost laughed at the soft mumbling that came from those tiny lips. She inherited more than her mother's beautiful features and my fiery temper. I reached down and pulled the blanket up higher around her and couldn't resist running the back of my fingers along her smooth, rosy cheek…tucking in a few loose strands of chocolate colored hair behind her ear.

My whole life was here in this house. Part of it was resting peacefully in front of me, and the other part was waiting for me across the hall. I don't know how I got this lucky, but I never took a second of it for granted. Every day I had with my girls was better than the last and I would do anything for the loves of my life.

I soft grumble brought me out of my reverie and I grinned down at Jake. He was curled up in his usual spot underneath the crib. His muzzle was white with age and he didn't move a whole lot, but no one could deny the love he had for our little girl. She had us all under her spell already.

I looked back into her crib one more time and tucked the bear I gave her for her first birthday a little closer to her outstretched hand. I kiss my fingertips and pressed them to her hair. "Daddy loves you, Tanya Renee."

**-The End-**

**Closing credits song "Hand Me Down" Matchbox 20**

**I have so many people to thank for this story even existing. All my reviewers have been amazing and encouraging, especially my Twitter girls (love me some Robsterbation!) Thank you all so much for the encouragement and motivation!**

**This is a story I have been working on for the better part of a year and I am so friggen sad to see it done! It has been consuming my life for so long that I don't know what to do now that I am not jotting down notes or constantly thinking of the next chapter. I have enjoyed the ride and I hope you all have too!**

**There are a lot of stories out there I am reading and check out my favorites list if you are interested, but there is one I am hooked on right now that does not have NEARLY enough reviews:**

"**Broken Angel" by drotuno**

**It's not for Jacob lovers but I find it incredibly romantic and fluffish and have really enjoyed reading it so far!**

**As to another story…maybe a sequel to Wilderness? It wasn't as popular as LYIO but I enjoyed writing that one the best and I have the most ideas for it. I also am thinking of writing a Bella-nanny one. I am a nanny myself and I have some ideas for a story based on that kind of job, although there are a few great stories out there about it already ( Confessions of a Nanny). But it will probably be a while until I write again. My husband is coming home from Iraq in a couple of weeks and I am too excited to think about anything else.**

**I know a lot of you wanted a long epilogue, but honestly if I started going into crazy detail I would have written a gazillion more chapter and this story needed a clean ending. I hope it was satisfying for you.**

**Okay, enough of the speech. If anyone ever wants to chat, feel free to message me or catch me over on twitter! THANK YOU!**

**~Jodi (aka, Quarterward's biggest fan)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello readers! I don't like putting fake updates up, but since this a completed fic I hope you don't mind. This is for a good reason.**

**Recently, a fellow FF lover has suffered a big loss in her family. I am keeping the names confidential but if you want to know more, please PM me. The way you can help her and her young children is buy buying jewelry….seriously!**

**A wonderful lady makes beautiful jewelry…and a lot of it is twilight themed! (Think Bella's bracelet from Jacob….*sigh*). This amazing woman is donating 20 percent of her sales from now until December 31****st**** to help this family in need. If you are wondering what to get the die-hard Twilight chic in your life for Christmas (or for yourself… *winks*) then check her website out! Its:**

http://curlyrocks(dot)etsy(dot)com

(FYI: replace the (dot)'s with actual dots.)

**If you have any questions feel free to hit me up, until then…happy reading! For those who are pissed that this wasn't an announcement of a sequel…I'm sorry! Try checking out my favorites to hold you over. I have some good ones!**


	30. Chapter 30

**EPOV**

I was fucking exhausted.

A hospital like Seattle had its perks. I was getting a lot of experience working on all sorts of cases and don't get me wrong…it was interesting as hell. But to be perfectly honest, I wanted to work in orthopedics and concentrate on moving out of the hospital and into a more stable job. Right now they had me on endless rotations working emergency trauma cases, and I was in that damn building almost twenty four hours a day.

And that was just unacceptable…for many reasons.

The biggest reason was standing in the kitchen waiting for me as I walked in the door. Bella turned to smile at me, spatula in hand. The aroma of fajitas permeated every corner of the house and I practically moaned at the smell. I tossed my keys and bag down and shuffled my way over to her. She turned back to the stove and I wrapped my arms as best as I could around her expanded waist line. She sighed and leaned back against me and I bent down to kiss her along her neck. She put one hand over mine and we both smiled as we felt the almost constant kicking of our little girl against us.

"I love you," she said as she turned her head for a kiss. I had no problems granting her that kiss…and then some.

"I love you too." I gave her one more kiss before giving her a narrow-eyed stare. "Now, care to explain to me why the hell you are on your feet Mrs. Cullen?" She gave me an eye-roll, her typical response when I chided her on doing too much.

"They baby was craving fajitas." She popped a pepper in her mouth and then offered one to me too. I took the pepper and made sure to nibble on her fingertips until she giggled. "The baby was craving them, huh?" She nodded and gave me a wide-eyed honest look that I never failed to find completely adorable. _God…I hope our kid gets her eyes._

"Why didn't you call me? I would have picked something up on the way home." I moved to beat her to the cabinet to pull down plates. Bella answered me by raising her eyebrow and pointing to the clock on the stove. I winced at the late hour and vowed, yet again, to get the hell out of these crazy shifts. Bella placed her hand against my cheek, rubbing the area underneath my eyes and gave me a reassuring smile. "You work too much." I captured her hand in mine and kissed her palm before dropping her hand and turning her gently towards the living room. "And you do too much around here. Go sit down and get comfortable. I will bring in dinner." This far along in her pregnancy, she couldn't sit comfortably in the hard dining room chairs anymore. The few times we had dinner together it was in the living room on the couch with tv trays. She joked that we were preparing for old age when we no longer cared about where we ate. Fuck that. I would be wining and dining her for as long as my old ass could do it.

After dinner we spent a little while longer on the couch, both of us too tired to move. I had her pulled into me, leaning her back against my chest with her swollen feet propped up on the coffee table. I was fading fast and I wished she could fall asleep just as easily. Recent experience has shown that in a few minutes she will need to get up to use the bathroom, and then the little one would kick her relentlessly all through the night.

I was seriously not envious of her.

This pregnancy was not planned and we both had our hesitations on starting a family. Bella had to hold out for a female obstetrician and she was worried her occasional episodes of panic would affect her ability to parent. I did my best to convince her that she would be the perfect mother to our child. Although, that didn't do shit to ease my fears. I never thought of myself anywhere close to being the nurturing type, so Bella gave me a lot of encouragement and convincing as well. I smiled and did everything I could to help her during this pregnancy, but to be fucking honest, I was still not convinced I was any good for a kid. As long as this little girl had Bella, it would have to be alright. I would just have to bullshit my way past all these insecurities…somehow.

"Alice and Rosalie still coming over tomorrow?" I whispered into her hair. She moaned in the affirmative and arched her back a little. I moved my hands down to massage her gently.

"We are going to prenatal yoga and then they are taking me to get a pedicure."

I leaned down to kiss her shoulder. "Do you think you should still be doing all that? You are almost thirty-seven weeks along now." Before she could answer I fired another one at her. "And why the hell do Alice and Rosalie take that class?" Alice and Jasper had no intention of having kids any time soon and Rosalie had just popped out number two a few months ago.

Bella laughed softly. "They take that class to support and spend time with me. And my doctor told me everything looked good so I could continue normal activity until further notice."

"_All_ normal activity?" I asked in a definite upbeat voice, suddenly not so tired. Bella laughed again, but I knew that it would be a while before I got to drive down that road again. I had made peace with it…kind of.

_Fucking liar._

* * *

After another restless night for both of us, we both groaned at the sound of knocking. Bella struggled to get into a sitting position and I managed to drag my tired ass out of bed in time to help pull her to her feet. I knew her first stop was going to be the bathroom, so I pulled a shirt over my head and headed downstairs to let in the bandwagon.

Alice twirled in first and started for the stairs with a sunny "Good morning, Edward!" Rosalie came in after her, dropping her massive diaper bag in the hallway and basically tossing me their second-born son. I managed to somehow not drop the bundled, drooling kid that frankly smelled like shit. Rose didn't bother with a greeting, she never did. The guys trudged in next, Jasper looking perfectly at ease with his hands stuffed in his jeans and Emmett looking like a total tool with the other kid strapped to his chest.

"Eddie!" Emmett crowed. Right on cue, their oldest son grinned at me and echoed "Eddie!" The snot creeping down from his nose just made him look more like his dad. I opened my mouth to cuss both of them out when I was interrupted by the baby barfing all over me.

"Fuuuuu--!" Jasper kicked me in the shin before I could finish that word and get Emmett's little Parrot copying me…again.

Rose was totally pissed last time.

I handed off the kid to Jasper and made my way to the kitchen sink to do damage control on my shirt and hands. Once again, I was questioning the whole baby thing. I would never tell Bella this, but I can't find one damn endearing thing about them. They were noisy, had junk coming out both ends, made all sorts of messes and then they grew up to resent all the hard work you did just to keep them alive and healthy.

_I was screwed._

The guys were busy laughing at me and giving the baby high-fives when the girls made their way downstairs. Bella was in her black yoga pants and a long, fitted pink shirt….an Alice contribution no doubt. The outfit reminded me of our college days when she would dress similar to do a dance routine or workout. Those memories always made me smile, and my happy ass would fall even more in love with her.

Alice had a small dance studio attached to her dress shop, and Rosalie and Bella continued to workout with her just to stay in shape. Hey… no complaints here.

After promising to get some breakfast for herself on the way, Bella gave me a kiss and was ushered out the door. When the door shut I leaned back against the counter and rubbed my hands over my face. Emmett moved up next to me. "Just wait man, the fun hasn't even begun for you yet!"

"Don't you think I friggen know that?" I had been told by everyone and their damn mother that we would get no sleep, no "alone time" and no breaks for the next twenty years. I see how Emmett and Rosalie go nowhere on their own. Everything in their lives revolves around the Parrot and the Puker.

Jasper was perfectly happy bouncing said Puker around the living room crooning some sort of country bullshit. Out of all the people in this room that could handle a kid of their own, we all thought it would be him.

_Joke's on us._

Emmett produced some sort of cookie out of thin air and presented it to the Parrot and simultaneously patted me on the shoulder. "You'll do fine. Once you see your kid for the first time, it will all make sense."

Yeah, heard that one a few times too.

Jasper had finished doing whatever he did to make the Puker happy and joined us in the kitchen. "I think both of y'all are friggen nuts." Leave it to Jazz to help a man out.

I looked between the two of them and raised my eyebrows. "Do you want to see what I am dealing with?" I didn't give them a chance to answer but led them up the stairs and to the small room across from our bedroom. The light filtering in from the shaded window was plenty to set my eyes on fire with all the colors.

When Bella couldn't decide on what color to paint the room, the terrific trio decided to pretty much use every damn color of the girly rainbow. Yellow on the top half of the wall, purple on the lower half, pink bedding in the white crib….its like their inspiration was a pack of Easter skittles.

I pointed out the obvious room decorations to the guys. "Puppies, unicorns…" I ran my hands through my hair, "…fucking fairies!"

"Hey!" Emmett protested and covered the Parrot's ears. _Too late._ A chorus of "farking furries" started and I was not apologizing. It just made my case that I was the last person that needed an offspring.

"I seriously don't know what to do with a kid. I don't even like kids..." I shot Emmett a glance, "no offense." He waved me off in understanding and I continued my rant.

"I hated every second of my pediatric rotation. I friggen cringe every time I hear one of them cry and have you seen a baby when it's first born? They look like aliens from the planet Raisen!"

The more agitated I got, the more my so-called "friends" laughed. The Parrot gave up the "farking furries" and started laughing too. Emmett finally composed himself enough to come punch me on the shoulder. _ Ouch…thanks_.

"Dude, I felt _exactly_ the same way you do when Rose got pregnant for the first time. I was scared sh—crapless. You guys remember how I pouted for nine months? Now what do you see?"

Jasper took that opportunity to chime in. "An exhausted puke rag that seems to have misplaced his balls and his sense of fun somewhere between kid one and kid two."

I scoffed at that one, even though he was pretty much making all my doubts triple. Emmett ignored him. "Nah, I am the luckiest S.O.B. on the planet. I have the hottest wife and two awesome kids who are just as disgusting and goofy as I am. It's like having my own little gang wherever I go!"

"You've got two boys," I pointed out to him. "You get to do all the guy stuff with them. I have to play dress up and have tea parties and play with Barbie's and sh—stuff." I shuddered at the thought.

"What about our girls?" Jasper pointed out. "You know how much Rose, Alice and Bella like watching football and going camping and all kinds of stuff. Look at Rose…she has rebuilt all of our cars at one time or another. Who says you can't do that stuff with your own kid?"

I sighed and sat in Bella's new rocking chair…pink of course. I couldn't see myself doing any of those things with any kid, let alone mine. It wasn't just the pink and the fucking fairies and the tea parties…it was me. I had nothing to offer a kid. I spent several years resenting my own parents for no good reason and the only sibling I had seemed more like a pest to me growing up. I had a bad attitude most of the time and to be perfectly honest, I am dreading all the time I would be giving up with Bella.

Emmett walked around the room and talked about memories of his children being born and doing this great thing or that cute thing. He reminded us how he cried like a little bitch at each of his kid's births. I can't imagine getting all choked up at seeing that. I can't stand the thought of Bella being in any kind of pain and to me the birth is just the culmination of months of pain and sickness carrying that kid. Emmett's chatter was meant to reassure me, to get me out of this funk but I just didn't have the energy to put up a front like I did for Bella. I was out of my mind with the anxiety of having this new human involved in every aspect of my life. I felt myself withdrawing again and I didn't like where my mind was going.

* * *

The girls came back much earlier than we thought they would. Emmett and Jazz were attempting to keep the kids entertained while I watched them warily out of the corner of my eye and flipped through all the sports channels. When the door opened barely an hour after the girls left, I knew something wasn't right. It was confirmed when Bella shuffled her way in, face pinched and a little pale. Rose had her arm, helping support her and Alice had all their bags in her arms. I shot out of my chair and stumbled over to Bella. "What's wrong? What happened?" Rosalie passed Bella off to me.

"Her back was hurting so we called the day short." I didn't even glance at her as I checked Bella over. Of course she was trying to give me a reassuring smile that did absolutely nothing to fucking reassure me. Not to mention her back almost always hurt, so it must be worse to make her cancel a day with her friends.

"How bad is it?" I asked, looking directly at her for an honest answer. Bella sighed and a few tendrils of loose hair floated around her with the deep breath. "It comes and goes. I might have turned too quick but it seems to be getting better. I just think I need to lie down for a little while and I will be good." I started to say something but she raised her hand, beating me to it. "Yes, I am drinking a lot of water and no, there is no bleeding and my water hasn't broken." I sighed and kissed her forehead. "Come on, I will walk you upstairs and start a warm bath." Bella shook her head. "No, you stay down here with everyone and have fun while you can. I will probably just fall asleep anyways." I started to protest, but stopped at the look she gave me. It was an honest look, with a sad understanding. _She knew_.

Bella waved and said her goodbyes to the others and they all told her to get feeling better while I just stood there looking after her, my heart squeezing painfully. _She knew_. I had been dong my damndest to keep my insecurities to myself, but she must have seen right through me. I should have known, she was the only one who knew me inside and out.

I was still staring at the stairs when Rose rubbed my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry, I had Braxton Hicks contractions that killed my back for a while before each of my kinds were born. It will be good for her to lie down for a while."

Alice moved up to my other side. "It will be alright Edward. Things will turn out just fine." I turned to look at her and she was giving me that small, knowing smile of hers that sometimes, to be honest, freaked me out. I knew she was talking about more than just Bella's backache. And although I knew better than to bet against Alice, this time I wasn't so convinced.

* * *

I was only able to wake Bella long enough for something to eat and have her chug some more water. She said her back was better, but I could tell from the way she held herself that it was still bothering her. She only picked at her food and Rose and Alice had let me know she didn't eat a whole lot of breakfast either. When I asked Bella about it, she told me that her stomach was a little unsettled and she didn't have much of an appetite. The doctor in me was jumping around to all sorts of possibilities. She didn't give me too much grief when I took her blood pressure and temperature. I guess she was used to it by now. Her temperature was a little elevated, but nothing remarkable and her blood pressure was within normal limits.

"I would feel better if we could do a urinalysis to check for infection. I could take a sample in tonight." Bella gave me a narrow-eyed look.

"You are not taking my pee into work on your only night off. You know you won't be able to leave for the rest of the night. If I still feel bad tomorrow I will let you do all the tests you want. Just…stay with me tonight, please?"

_There she goes with the big brown eyes again._

Of course I complied and we settled into our bed for the night. Bella curled up on her left side and I molded myself to her, rubbing her tight belly until I heard her breathing even out. Right before she fell asleep she slurred to me, "It will be okay, Edward."

It was my turn to be the one who couldn't fall asleep. I stared down at her, studying her in the soft glow of the moon. She was just as beautiful in that moment as she ever was and my heart almost hurt with the amount of feelings that encompassed it. My gaze shifted over to the tiny pink and white bassinet in the corner. How am I supposed to care about someone else as much as I care about Bella? There was just no possible way. I would give our child the best life that I could, of course, but it felt more like an obligation to Bella than a promise to myself…or to our child.

* * *

I was woken what seemed like moments after I nodded off by Bella's gasps of pain. I sat up so fast I thought I was going to pass out.

"Edward!" Bella cried out before doubling over. She was perched on the side of the bed, one arm clutched around her stomach and one hand pressed against the small of her back. I moved across the space separating us and stopped short when I felt wetness against my skin. I felt my heart quit beating for a moment, thinking the worst. Fumbling for the bedside light, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I saw that blood was not soaking the sheets where Bella had slept. That instant of relief faded quickly enough when I realize exactly what was going on.

"It hurts Edward," Bella said between deep breaths. I put one arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek, trying to reassure her…which was kind of a joke considering what I mess I was inside. "Its okay sweetheart, your water broke and you are going into labor. We need to get to the car okay?" As I talked I could feel her relax against me. She nodded and gave me a small smile. "Its fading now…I'm okay." I winced, knowing that her relief was going to be very, very brief.

I jumped up to throw on some sort of clothing and then grabbed the clothes she had picked out for this occasion. Before we had finished putting her shirt on, another contraction hit her. She cried out as I let her dig her nails into my arm, trying to comfort her and tell her to breathe and all that shit they brainwashed me with at Lamaze class. I glanced at the clock, wishing I noted the time when her first contraction was. _Wait a minute…_

"Bella, when did the pains start?" I waited while she breathed through the pain. When she could speak she told me she wasn't sure, but she thinks around midnight. It was now four in the morning.

_Oh shit_.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked her gently while I grabbed our bags in one hand and helped her up with the other. She kept one of her hands pressed against her back as we shuffled down the hall.

"I thought they were just bad Braxton Hicks. I fell asleep between them."

I had a suspicion that Bella's contractions had been going on all day….her intermittent back pain, her upset stomach…

We made it halfway down the stairs before the next contraction hit. I dropped our bags and grabbed Bella as she doubled over again. Her cries echoed through the empty house and tore at me. I counted the seconds by in my head and when she finally got through it I check my watch.

_Shit shit shit!_ They were coming way too fast for my comfort.

We made it down the stairs and to the car without incident and I barely managed to keep my driving under control as we moved through the Seattle streets. We were close to the hospital, but not close enough for my comfort.

Bella had another contraction and I fought like hell to concentrate on the road, letting her dig her nails into my skin and the leather of the car. When it was over I tried telling her reassuring things, but I had no idea what I was actually saying. I thought I said something incredibly stupid when Bella started sobbing suddenly. I took a glance in her direction and my anxiety doubled at the sound of her crying. "What's wrong sweetheart? Another contraction?"

"It's too early!" she wailed. At first I thought she meant too early for the next contraction, but then it was clear she was talking about labor in general.

"It's fine Bella. You are far enough along now, its okay. You and the baby will be fine." Medically, I knew that I was right. Infants born at thirty-six weeks are just shy of what is considered full-term and there should be no complications. But I think I was trying to convince myself of that more than her. I don't know what Bella would do if something happened to this baby, and I don't know what I would do if something happened to Bella.

Another screaming, leather ripping contraction later and we were pulling up at the emergency room. I left the car sitting at the curb and ran for a wheelchair. I recognized one of the nurses walking by and before she could ask me what was wrong I told her to page Bella's doctor and meet us in labor and delivery.

Bella had another contraction on route to the delivery ward and I didn't need to glance at my watch to know they were right on top of each other now. Her Ob must have been on call that night because she met us in the hallway and directed us to a room. Nice advantage to delivering in a hospital you worked at…no waiting.

I helped the doctor and nurse change Bella the best they could through contractions. I updated everyone on the length and intensity of contractions, which Bella interrupted with gritted teeth, "How the hell would you know how intense they are!"

I didn't bother telling her I could measure by the cuts and bruises she left on my arm.

As soon as she was in the stirrups for her exam I patted my pockets, looking for my phone. "I should call everyone..." but I was cut off by the doctor going "uh…you may want to wait" from between Bella's legs. She brought her head up to look at me. "She is fully effaced and dilated. This is happening right now."

"Now?" Bella and I echoed. Bella shook her head and gasped through the almost now-constant pain. "But I want drugs! Lots and lots of…" she finished her sentence with a scream and scrunched up her body. I dropped my phone and moved up next to her again, knowing she was already feeling the uncontrollable urge to push. My panic just went though the roof. I actually felt the adrenalin hit my system and my heart picked up double-time. My hands were shaking and my vision started getting spotty. I felt like shit… and I felt even worse knowing Bella's pain was going to get worse.

The doctor gave a couple of orders to the nurses and they scurried around to get everything they might need. She glanced at me with her eyebrows raised. "You alright there, Edward?" I nodded to her but Bella whipped her head around to look at me. "Edward?" The concern in her voice almost made me laugh. I must look bad if the girl in labor with no pain medication is asking me if I am okay. I smoothed back her sweat-soaked hair from her face and kissed her gently. "I'm okay, love. Just concentrate on taking care of yourself and that baby of ours." Bella nodded and her face turned from concern to painful as she squeezed my hand again. "Good…because you are not allowed to fucking pass out on me Cullen!" She screamed again and I knew she was in pain if she was breaking out the f-word.

Everything became a blur of activity then. I tried to concentrate on the machines she was hooked up to and the vitals that the nurses were recording, anything to try to reassure myself that everything was alright.

_That shit was not working_.

I swallowed back my panic at every scream and every contraction. The delivery team had me up by Bella's head, counting and breathing with her and that was fine with me. There are some things I didn't want to see. My concentration was all on the small, shaking girl in my arms. I could feel the exhaustion pouring off her, but she didn't once say that she couldn't do it. She pushed when they told her to and damn near collapsed when they told her to relax. Soon…much too soon they were having her push constantly. Bella's face was soaked and red and somewhere in the background I heard my name, but I ignored everything else.

_God…please…I love this girl. Let her be okay, let the baby be okay…I can't go on without them…I can't…_

The sound of a choking cry was simultaneous with Bella collapsing back against the bed, breathing deeply. I looked down and saw a messy bundle being handed to the nurses. Someone was telling us congratulations and confirming it was a girl, but I was distracted by Bella sobbing in my arms. I ran my fingers over her face and tried to wipe away her tears. "Shhh, it's okay Bella, baby. Don't cry, it's all over now. You did great."

My inability to calm her tears was tearing me up and I was at a loss at what else to do. Suddenly I felt a nurse tug on my sleeve. "Dr. Cullen? Would you like to see her?" I didn't answer, but Bella nodded her head frantically and pushed me weakly towards the squalling baby being cleaned up across the room. The doctor's voice was reassuring us that despite the early age, she wouldn't need to be in the NICU, everything looked perfect. I took what felt like the heaviest steps towards the baby, getting there just in time for the nurse to finish bundling her and placing a cap on her head to keep her warm.

Before I could fully take in what I was seeing, the baby was handed off to me. I took her more out of reflex than anything else. I felt like I might be shaking too much to actually hold her, but then I looked at her…_really_ looked at her.

I thought Bella had encompassed my entire heart…and in a way I was right. This baby, this little girl we created together was a part of Bella, and a part of me. In that moment, I knew that what I was holding was bigger than myself and definitely bigger than any of the insecurities that I had felt before. She was still whimpering, her bottom lip quivering slightly and face currently as red as her mother's. Her eyes were squinched shut and her skin was wrinkly and splotchy…

And she was so incredibly beautiful.

I couldn't tell whose nose she had or whose chin she had but I had no doubt she was my daughter. I stood there in the middle of the delivery room, holding a piece of myself and I began to cry. I smiled down at the mad little child in my arms with fat, hot tears rolling down my face. I saw a thousand things in that moment. I saw myself sitting at a small table, having tea parties with a sparkly tiara on my head. I saw myself sitting on the couch with my little girl on my lap…me with a purple jersey and her with a small, matching pink one, cheering for our team. I could see the two of us huddled inside this same room, waiting for a little brother or sister…

And I couldn't wait.

"Hey there, little one." I managed to choke out. At the sound of my voice she stopped whimpering for a moment. "You, your mommy and I are going to have so much fun. We love you very, very much." The little squinted eyes opened slightly and as impossible as I know it was, she seemed to look directly at me. I smiled wider and brought her closer so I could gently kiss her flushed cheek.

"Edward?" Bella called out weakly. I snapped myself out of my daze and gave Bella the crooked smile I knew the loved. She returned it with one of her own and I walked over to her bedside. Bella held out her hands and I handed her our daughter. _Our daughter…_

"We have a daughter," I told her with a goofy smile. Bella held the baby close and smiled down at her. The tears came back and I finally understood what they were all about. You couldn't beat the smile off my face. After a moment of cooing and kissing the baby, Bella smiled up at me. She moved one hand up to cup my face and wipe the never-ending tears away. "It's okay, don't cry," she echoed my words from earlier. I laughed and kissed her palm before kissing her parched lips. Looking directly into her eyes, I whispered, "I love you." She whispered it back and our connection was interrupted by Tanya Renee crying out in a surprising loud voice. I smiled down at her angry face and let myself feel the incredible love and pride flow through me.

_Who knew Emmett would actually be right?_

**Just so you know, Emmett and Rosalie's kids aren't really named Parrott and Puker ;)**

**I hope you enjoyed this little ditty. It's not much, but I don't see myself having time to write anytime in the near future. My boys should be here in 8-9 weeks and my life won't ever be the same! Thank you so much for all the continuing reviews and support (and all the fun times on Twitter!)**

**Enjoy New Moon and Eclipse!**

**-Jodi**

**PS: Its already been suggested I name my boys Edward and Jacob or Edward and Emmett….but that ain't gonna happen! **


	31. Chapter 31

Hello Everyone! Its been a while since I posted on here. I wish I could have more time to write and catch up with everyone. I still get WONDERFUL reviews all the time and I may not be able to reply to many of them, but know I cherish each and every one!

I am writing to you now for a personal reason. Some of you probably know I am now divorced and raising my twin toddlers and working nights. We are so happy though and lead a blessed life!

Many times you see fundraising opportunities for different things in the fanfic world. This one is not associated with fanfiction but is still important to me. One of my sons is slightly autistic, and my other son has a genetic disorder called Neurofibromatosis. Autism is pretty well known and receives a lot of donations and funding, but not NF.

NF causes tumors to grow almost anywhere in the body, anywhere there are nerves including the spine and brain. So far my son only has a couple underneath the skin and all his scans have been clear. He is 22 months old and his name is Logan.

I am joining the NF Walk in Raleigh NC this May and I am asking for your help. I have set up a personal page for donations in Logan's name and if any of you can help that would be wonderful! Even if you just spread the word, repost on your facebook or twitter, I would greatly appreciate it. All money raised from this event goes to the Children's Tumor Foundation www (dot) ctf (dot) org

At this time I cannot offer anything in exchange except my sincere gratitude. However, if I am able to do some sort of excerpt from LYIO (wedding day, etc) I will let you know.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Sincerely, wolfpgirl aka: Jodi

To get to Logan's website (because I cannot figure out a format that works for the FF website) Go to www (dot) kintera (dot) org / faf / home / default (dot) asp ? ievent = 1016392

(replace (dot) with a period and remove spaces)

Then click on Donate to a Participant. Enter JoAnn Thomas and that should take you to his page! Thank you!


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